Tactile and Kinesthetic Senses of Love

Many of us believe that we love and are loved the way we see each other. It is true that visual appearance is salient in our interpersonal perception. Auditory perceptions—the way we hear each other—also convey important signals of love. Visual and auditory interpersonal perceptions are the vital senses of love.

Besides visual and auditory perceptions, the pleasant, tangible sensations of the tactile-kinesthetic modality make us attracted to another person. Our touching of another person and our senses of muscles, joints, postures, and movements of our body constitute the tactile-kinesthetic senses of love. All of them have an impact on our attraction and love.

The tactile and kinesthetic senses are very important in love and sex. Body positions, sitting close, cuddling, and kissing are the ingredients of our physical attraction.

The Tactile and Kinesthetic Senses of Love

Our skin, hands, and body are the major organs for such perceptions of another person in our relationships. This modality is felt in what our hands and bodies feel when touching the beloved. A physical touch, a hug, a shoulder squeeze, a handshake, or even a pat on the back are all important expressions of affection to the partner.

Cuddling, like other forms of physical touch, causes the hormone oxytocin to be released, which strengthens our bonds. This way, we perceive their ways of walking, bodily actions, hugging, and kissing.

All people are capable of understanding the tactile language of love. The studies found that people in the United States and Spain can reliably recognize the emotions of sympathy, love, and gratitude by touch, even by merely watching others communicate via touch. This language of love can be similar across cultures, so it may work for love without borders.

Some people, however, especially prefer the physical touch as the language of love, even more than verbal expressions of love (Chapman, 1995).

This perception is also kinesthetic, involving the sensation of moving, physical interaction, body coordination, and the coordination of other activities.

Tactile and Kinesthetic Senses of Love in Sexual Attraction

The role of tactile senses, kinetics, and olfaction is especially evident in sexual attraction.

Studies have found that tactile sensory experiences are particularly important for women’s sexual attraction and sexual arousal (Herz & Cahill 1997; Ellis & Symons 1990; Symons 1979).

For males, on the other hand, both visual and tactile sensations are equally important (Herz & Cahill 1997).

A sexual intercourse involves various tactile and kinesthetic expressions and sensual feelings of romantic attraction, such as holding hands, hugging, touching, kissing, and all kinematics (Marston et al. 1998).

Young men and women use massages, backrubs, caressing, cuddling, stroking, holding hands, hugging, and kissing on the face and lips as their expressions of physical affection (Gulledge et al. 2003).

Many couples use “makeup sex” to reconnect physically with their partners, sending an implicit message that the argument is over and they are ready to move on.

The Tactile and Kinesthetic Ways to Show Love

There are multiple ways to express love without words. Holding hands seems like a classical picture of loving partners. Across many societies, a couple walking hand-in-hand down the street culturally means they love each other. Cultures, however, differ as to whether they allow display in public or only in private. Holding hands is a kind gesture that expresses physical love for your partner and physical attraction.

Compassionate and supportive love can be expressed by rubbing your partner’s back when he or she is dealing with an upsetting or challenging situation. Touching them is a normal act of empathy and understanding. You, as a loving partner, signal to them that you are there for them. The rubbing of their hand, arm, or another part of the body works the same way. Yet, it is important to make sure they feel comfortable with it.

Touching skin-to-skin often expresses affectionate and sexual love. Intimate love is often expressed by dragging fingertips across the partner’s hands, neck, or back, touching the partner’s hair, or even touching the partner’s bare legs. These are non-verbal gestures to show them you feel physically attracted to them and are in love with them.

Sitting Close to and Cuddling with your Partner

Being in close proximity to your partner and touching your partner’s body are physical expressions of love. Sitting with your hips or feet touching each other is a non-verbal approach to bonding with your partner. We may recall that when we argue or disagree with our partner, we frequently move physically away from each other. So, moving closer and touching your partner is a good way to break the tension after an argument and the best way to reconnect. Sitting side-by-side is a simple way to signal that you love them.

Cuddling is the act of physically wrapping yourself around your partner. These kinesthetic and tactile feelings bring you physically and emotionally closer to each other.

The Kissing Senses of Love

Kissing is among the ultimate expressions of sexual love. Kissing is a typical way to show physical love to your partner. This can be kissing their hand, their cheek, their forehead, their lips, or their neck. A kiss, however, does not imply sexual love.

Kissing is used in various types of relationships. Parents kiss their child, and a child kisses their parents. In many cultures, kissing is an action of greeting and respect.

Kinetic Idioms of Love

Partners often use kinesics as nonverbal idioms in their intimate talks. These can be body movements, postures, gestures, eye movements, eye contact, and other facial expressions (Hopper et al., 1981). For example, by twitching the nose (meaning “You’re special”) or pulling on the right earlobe (meaning “I love you”), they show their love for the partner.

The Diversity of Love Journal

Knowledge from Research and Practice