Alain Delannoy, Independent Researcher, France
published in the Proceedings of the 3rd International Conference on Love and Relationship Studies, 6-8 March, 2026
You can see the full video recording of this presentation at the YouTube channel of the International Institute of Love Studies
Introduction
Romantic love is characterized as a passionate emotional state directed toward a partner. It involves intense excitement, idealization of the beloved, and a desire for fusion with him/her. Anthropologists and evolutionary psychology consider romantic love as a universal, innate biological mechanism that evolved over millions of years to facilitate pair-bonding, promote biparental care, and enhance offspring survival during the critical early-childhood period (H. Fisher, 2004). This adaptationist view frames romantic love as a primordial mating drive essential for human reproductive success. It is supported by cross-cultural observations suggesting the presence of romantic love in all societies (Jankowiak & Fischer, 1992). The present study critically interrogates these claims, examining whether romantic love is truly a fixed universal and biologically hardwired trait.
Methodology
The study reviews alternative theoretical accounts on romantic love. It draws on two key sources of counter-evidence:
(a) first-person testimonies, including informal longitudinal observations and self-reports from individuals (including one case on the aromantic spectrum) in whom the major characteristics recognised in romantic love, such as jealousy, pair-bonding and child-rearing, are hardly found;
(b) ethnographic, anthropological, and historical data from various societies where passionate romantic love between adult partners is minimal, absent or culturally minimised, including some societies in which jealousy, pair-bonding and child-rearing are not correlated with romantic love, such as the matrilineal society of the Na, or the inhabitants of Manus Island who ignore romantic love (M. Mead, 1930).
Highlights of Results
Substantial cross-cultural and intra-cultural variation undermines strong universality assertions of romantic love. In some societies, no cultural elaboration of romantic love even exists between spouses—affection is reserved for parent-child bonds, sex is viewed pragmatically or shamefully, and no love songs, myths, or norms of passionate pursuit appear. Within contemporary societies where romantic love is culturally valorized (via arts, narratives, and norms), some emotionally sensitive persons report never experiencing romantic love, even in long-term couple relationships that produce desired children. Pair-bonding, fidelity, and child-rearing many times occur independently of romantic love, while romantic love arises in non-reproductive contexts (e.g., post-menopausal, same-sex, or sterile partnerships).
Discussion and Conclusions
The available anthropological and cross-cultural evidence suggests that romantic love is neither entirely universal nor innately programmed. The findings from this study challenge the theory that romantic love is an evolutionary adaptation mechanism whose primary function is to establish pair-bonding. Instead, romantic love might be better understood as a cultural adaptation of co-opting mother-infant bonding (Bode, 2023) in societies which adopted the nuclear family structures. Romantic love seems to require both psychological development and a cultural environment that promotes the concept of romantic love. Thus, rather than relying solely on fixed biological programming, romantic love seems to depend largely on cultural and developmental factors as well, as a characteristic of human nature, but also as a characteristic of human culture.
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