Category Archives: love in Africa

How Nigerian Education Changed Love in West Africa in the First Half of the 20th Century

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The cultural evolution of love in West Africa in the first half of the 20th century occurred. The increasing urbanization of society and its major cities, such as Lagos, Ibadan, Onitsha, Port Harcourt, and other southern Nigerian cities, and their transformation into first-class colonial urban centers supported this cultural transformation.

The concurrent rise in literacy among many Nigerians came along with it. The interest in Western education was growing in the country and region. Many young people moved to southern Nigeria’s cities in pursuit of education. Only a few of them returned home to become farmers. Metropolises offered modern amenities that suited their new lifestyle. From the 1920s to the 1950s, the number of southern Nigerians with post-secondary education grew by a lot (Fafunwa, 1974).

The enhanced English literacy increased newspaper reading and allowed Nigerians to express themselves. This new cultural climate made the West African literary culture of love more romantic.

Saheed Aderinto, a Nigerian American professor of history, published a recent article on how literary culture and romantic love were represented in colonial Nigerian print media (Aderinto, 2015). During the first half of the 20th century, the author says, Nigerians began to look at love as a historical and biocultural construct.

How Nigerian Newspapers of Colonial Times Changed African Views of Love

In his article, Professor Aderinto shows how the modernization of love in Nigeria took place among the literate Nigerians, the so-called aspiring sub-elites.

The Nigerian newspapers were a place where educated people expressed various opinions and views. The readers joined to discuss new concepts about life, modern relationships, families, and love. Columnists express their advice in the advice columns. And readers also became a real network for expressing their opinions. In a comparative perspective, they discussed the evolving conventions of love, sex, and marriage (Aderinto, 2015).

The Nigerian “Miss Silva” and Her “Milady’s Bower”

Looking at the colonial Nigerian newspapers of the first half of the 20th century, Saheed Aderinto focused on the women’s column titled “Milady’s Bower,” published by Nnamdi Azikiwe’s West African Pilot. The editor of the column, with the pseudonym “Miss Silva,” authored from 1937 to the 1950s articles on several issues of relationships. She also gave advice to lovers. In that column, she published unedited letters from pseudonymous or anonymous readers who mostly respected her opinions on topics. The column’s audience enjoyed reading the materials of anonymous authors. They also appreciated anonymity because it gave them an opportunity to express their thoughts and feelings about some controversial matters without the risk of public sanction for such expressions.

Among the major audience for this column was the urban youth of southern Nigeria’s major cities, largely single young men and women. The ideas of modern love relationships expressed by newspapers’ readers were often in controversy with the traditional African-style patriarchy and the established norms of gender relations (Aderinto, 2015).

Nigerian Discussion of New Gender Roles

The gender roles depicted in the column were modern rather than traditional. The modern girl was portrayed as an educated and working person. She would have strong emotional and bodily autonomy. The modern boy was portrayed as a “clean,” polite, and disciplined gentleman who was committed to a relationship. In courtship relationships, a lady would be regarded in terms of socioeconomic status as an equal person. The assumption of gender equality was evident in all urban settings, such as dance halls, movie theaters, and others. Advocates of modern love believed that the way men and women were involved in courtship would have a strong impact on their marriage. This Nigerian cultural model, which was talked about in newspaper advice columns, was similar to how North America and Europe’s love cultures were changing at that time.

What Was “Modern Love” for Nigerians?

The Nigerian newspapers highlighted an enduring generational conflict between the old and new generations of women and men. The publications affirmed modern love as abandoning traditional relationships as “boring.” (Aderinto, 2015)

Their “modern love” evidently included the ideas of individualism in relationships. The newspapers advised that love was a personal matter and that the passion and wish of a person for independence and happiness should guide them in love. The idea that love is a personal matter was revolutionary for that historical period in Nigeria. This idea contradicted traditional practices in which parents, family, and the community could moderate many aspects of a relationship, such as betrothal, courtship, or resolution of marital conflict.

The Cultural Evolution of Love in West Africa in the First Half of the 20th Century

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The transformation of Lagos, Ibadan, Onitsha, Port Harcourt, and other southern Nigerian cities into first-class colonial urban centers, along with the concomitant rise in literacy among many people, was essential to the cultural evolution of love in West Africa.

Growing Interest in Education Among Nigerians

Starting in the 1920s, colonialists’ growing interest in Western education increased school attendance. The elitist colonial education culture of the 19th and early 20th centuries gave way to a “populist” one. From the 1920s through the 1950s, the number of southern Nigerians with post-secondary education increased dramatically (Fafunwa, 1974).

The majority of educated young people had relocated to southern Nigeria’s big cities in search of education and salaried work. Few would return home to become farmers. Agricultural employment was paid less than government and private sector positions in cities. Besides, metropolitan centers provided modern amenities that suited their new preferred lifestyle.

The expansion of English literacy among the population had two effects. On the one hand, it increased newspaper readership. On the other hand, it allowed Nigerians to express their own views on life. That new cultural climate was ready to modernize West African love into a romantic passion (Aderinto, 2015).

Nigerian Courtship in the First Half of the 20th Century

During the colonial times of the first half of the 20th century, a variety of old and new cultural norms and practices took place in West Africa. They varied among people of different ethnicities and rural and urban residences.

In Nigerian society, both precolonial courtship culture and colonial courtship customs were practiced. This kind of transition caused a lot of tension and conflict, which urban youth tried to work out through arguments in the pages of newspapers and other print media.

The old traditional supervised courtship of the precolonial type was still common in many African tribes. For example, courtship among the Yoruba people of Nigeria, Benin, and Togo in West Africa came under strong communal supervision.

Parents and the community made sure that a prospective groom and bride would have limited contact before the full marriage rites were completed. That would prevent premarital sexual intercourse, which cultural norms of the Yoruba frown upon. The regulation of courtship did not allow a betrothed girl to meet her fiancé and his family without hiding her face by veiling.

Freedom of Courtship in Nigerian Cities

However, courtship in the cities was largely unregulated. A man and a woman had a certain freedom in their relationships. The freedom to choose a partner was an essential cultural option for young men and women in courtship in colonial urban contexts. It was a romance culture as opposed to the betrothal culture prevalent in the past. Some young men and women dared to choose a prospective bride or groom without their parents’ consent. Courting outside their immediate ethnicity and local community defied established ethnic and socioeconomic rules. If young men and women would court without their parents’ permission, they could not consummate their marriage (Aderinto, 2015).

Those young people whose courtship was not approved by their parents had a significant obstacle and came to the dilemma of split affections. Even though their parents wouldn’t accept their relationship, some men and women were still in love with their ex-partners.

Reading and Thinking About Love in Colonial Nigeria

During the first half of the twentieth century, the literate Nigerians largely living in cities were the aspiring sub-elites, interested in reading books and print media about many things, including families as important institutions of society.

Courtship, relationships, and modern love emerged in Nigerian print media and other public discourses. The public discussion of the concept of contemporary love and how people form relationships had a big impact on broader themes of nation-building and Nigerian social advancement. The modernization of love and family occurred in the minds of literate and educated Nigerians. Love was rethought by men and women as a modern historical and cultural concept (Aderinto, 2015).

The Challenges of Love Marriages for African Men and Women

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In the second half of the 20th century, social and economic modernization transformed traditional African marriages. Urbanization and social mobility were key contributors. Many young men and women moved to the cities. The new labor market and many new urban jobs superseded the importance of traditional rural labor and established family roles. Education significantly influenced this social and cultural shift. For many people, these societal dynamics were destroying a tribal, kinship-based communal framework of living.

The Evolution of African Marriages in the Second Half of the 20th Century

The transformations in many African societies, especially in urban areas, have changed how people view gender, marriage, and families. They modified mate-selecting and marriage practices. Families’ power to influence and manage their children’s marriages and relationships deteriorated.

The evolution of African marriage was difficult. Western norms of individualism were replacing rural stereotypes and mores. Men and women in African cities frequently struggled between collectivism and individualism. They could feel bad if they rejected family, but they’d be frustrated if they let their family members impose the old conventions on their lives.

Once again, geographical and cultural, rural and urban differences in these changes in relationships and marriages varied across the huge cultural diversity of the African continent.

The Changing Value of Individual Choice in Marriages

For instance, in many parts of West Africa, individual choice in mate choice has become socially acceptable only lately. This new opportunity became more affordable first among wealthy and educated men and women in metropolitan areas. Increasingly, they relied on their romantic love feelings in the selection of a spouse (Little & Price, 1973).

According to studies, African men and women across many countries also gradually came to prefer deciding who to marry based on their love feelings (Mair 1969; Little 1979; Smith, 2001; van der Vliet 1991). Romantic love became a criterion for mate selection.

Its significance and prevalence also increased in marital relationships. Companionship love became more common for some African couples. Here is an excellent illustration of modern African love:

“Chinyere Nwankwo met her husband Ike in the town of Owerri in southeastern Nigeria, where she attended a teacher’s college after completing secondary school in her village community. Ike was eight years her senior and a building contractor successful enough to own a used car, a prized symbol of wealth and success. On their first date he took her to the disco at the Concorde Hotel, at that time the fanciest in town. In addition to being educated, Chinyere was a beautiful young woman and consequently had many suitors. Her courtship with Ike lasted almost two years. During that time they often dined out and went dancing together. Among the more memorable events of their courtship were a weekend outing to the Nike Lake resort near Enugu and a trip to Lagos during which they attended a performance by Fela Ransome-Kuti, a famous Nigerian musician. During their courtship, each bought the other birthday cards, and for Ike’s birthday, Chinyere baked a cake. They went to many social events together and acknowledged to their peers that they were a couple. Not long into their courtship, Chinyere and Ike began sleeping together. Prior to approaching Chinyere’s people and his own family about their getting married, Ike proposed to Chinyere. They agreed together to get married and then began the process of including their families.”

(Smith, 2001, p.134)

Ike and Chinyere both said that they decided to marry because they had fallen in love.

Differences Between “Love for Marriage” and “Love in Marriage”

The two different tendencies are still present in African family relations. One is the changing cultural attitudes toward the value of individual choice and love in courtship. “Love for marriage” is more acceptable now than before. Another is the conservative attitude toward the value of companionate love between wife and husband, while the extended family is still of high value. Spousal “love in marriage” faced difficulties because it contradicted the high priority of “extended family love.”

Modern ways of African courtship tend to prioritize human relationships, interpersonal intimacy, and gestures of love. It gradually adopts a gender-neutral gender dynamic.

Nonetheless, the daily life of marriage and relationships between spouses remain intertwined with the larger family and community. Existing extended familial relationships and obligations are highly valued. The fertility of a wife and husband was very important, as well as their kinship functions. The patriarchal structure was still frequently reinforced in modern African marriages.

Thus, men and women in their social and personal interactions within families use both modern and traditional value systems to negotiate their relationships and achieve their goals (Smith, 2001; van der Vliet 1991). Mate selection, marriage, and family structures are evolving in modern ways. However, those changes and gender relations are still very sensitive to the values of fertility and parenthood. Even in current African cultures, collectivistic values and corporate kinship ties are still essential for the lives of new couples.

Love in Marital Relationships in Africa in the 20th Century

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Africa is one of the most culturally diverse regions in the world. For centuries, people from many different cultures have lived side by side in close proximity, still maintaining their cultural values, beliefs, norms, and practices. The differences occur not only between countries but also within countries. Many African societies have a tribal social organization with extended families. However, other societies differ in this regard.

Anthropological materials have shown that people have different ideas and beliefs about love and marital relationships (Karandashev, 2017, 2019). So, it is difficult to generalize this knowledge to the entire African continent.

Let us consider some typical cases of how love is related to marital relations. This can be revealing for readers from other parts of the world.

Could African Boys and Girls Love and Marry for Love?

The young man and woman could meet and initiate the interaction and relationships that could lead to marriage. Prospective brides and grooms met at neighbors’ homes, in the marketplace, or at religious festivals. They were free to express their interest in and liking for each other. They loved each other at a distance and could interact.

Premarital sexual intercourse of youngsters was openly permissible or tolerated in some African societies but not in others. Sex plays were acceptable as long as the vagina was not penetrated. For many Africans, the physical act of sex itself was not associated with feelings of guilt. However, due to its symbolic and magical consequences, sex involved a set of rituals.

The love attraction between boys and girls might be reciprocated or not. In the case of non-reciprocal feelings, they had their own culturally specific defensive mechanisms. In many African cultural beliefs, external outside forces wield far more power than internal individual efforts. So, if a boy or girl loved someone but their feelings were not reciprocated, they did not question their own shortcomings. They were more willing to seek the help of a witch or wizard to cast a spell or provide them with a magical potion that could attract the one they desired (Murstein, 1974).

However, their parents usually played a major role in deciding whom to marry because the dowry, or the payment of the bride price, was their responsibility. Economic considerations and inheritance were among the significant factors in marital and family matters. The groom and bride might have been betrothed as children.

Love was not a focal point of traditional African marriages for a long time. However, boys and girls were usually not forced to marry someone they disliked. Nonetheless, both boys and girls frequently welcomed the help of parents and relatives in finding a match for them.

Cultural Expectations for an African Wife

In traditional African marriages, every woman was supposed to marry, be a wife in a household, and bear children. So, according to cultural traditions, African girls were thinking about their future marriages and families as something due to be fulfilled.

In some African societies and tribes, the ideal bride should be a virgin. However, many other societies were not concerned about this. So, the attitudes towards premarital sexual relationships varied across African societies and tribes.

A boy and his parents, in selecting a girl for marriage, placed less emphasis on her beauty. Tribal life was based primarily on physical strength. So, the expectations were that the prospective wife must be strong, be an excellent cook, and be eager to work hard for the household’s economic prosperity. These qualities were more important than appearance. The emphasis was more on utility than on appearance or personality. She was expected to be submissive and respectful to her husband (Murstein, 1974).

Cultural Expectations for an African Husband

There was little information available about expectations for the ideal husband. Perhaps women were less able to express their preferences for the groom. Perhaps it was less important for their patriarchal family life.

Social organization in many African societies was tribal and based on extended families, which could be patriarchal or not. The husband’s role was much smaller than in nuclear families. He was necessary for a wife to conceive a child. He was necessary for the wife’s sexual pleasure. However, in extended African families, the husband was not necessary for the wife’s and children’s subsistence. It was not necessary to care for the pregnant woman or to raise children. Any member of the family could fill these roles (Murstein, 1974).

The relationship structures of African extended families were typically gender segregated. Men and women constituted different circles of relationships. In such an extended marriage, romantic or companionate love could be an obstacle. Actually, love could ruin the “wise” marriage plans of senior family members (de Munck et al., 2016).

According to anthropological studies (de Munck et al., 2016), the extended family organization of societies makes romantic love of lower importance for marriage. So, romantic love was often naturally absent in the cultures of such societies. It was the case in many African societies.

Marriages and Families in Egalitarian African Societies

In some other African societies, however, marital relationships are different and welcoming to romantic love. The Hadza people of the East African tribal societies of gatherers and hunters in Northern Tanzania represent an example. The culture of these people is not patriarchal; it is egalitarian. They follow the tradition of bilateral descent and do not recognize clans. Their practice of family lineage regards relatives on both the father’s and mother’s sides as equal in terms of property and wealth transfer, as well as emotional ties. The descent is bilateral, and both parents receive an equal inheritance.

This cultural value of equality is conducive to and supportive of love and love matches for marital relationships. The marital relationships of serial monogamy are common. Polygynous relationships occur on rare occasions. Men and women are free to divorce, and divorce is culturally acceptable. Infidelity is usually a major cause of marriage separation (Scelza et al., 2020).

Traditional Polygyny in African Marriages in the 20th Century

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Love, sex, and marriages in Africa are topics of special interest for scholars and the public worldwide. These emotional and relational aspects of African life differ significantly from those of many other cultures around the world (Karandashev, 2017). And we still know relatively little about what is going on in ethnically and culturally diverse African societies, tribes, and communities. How do they live? How do they feel? How do they relate to each other?

The Cultural Diversity of African Societies

Africa is home to a diverse range of different cultures and ethnic groups. People are very diverse in their languages, religions, and cultural traditions. Cultural diversity can be observed between countries of the African continent, within countries, and between and within tribal communities within and across countries.

Anthropological materials have shown that people of different cultures maintain their values, norms, and customs in relationships and emotional lives. Many studies have looked at how people in Cameroon, Kenya, Nigeria, and South Africa think about their relationships, emotions, love, sex, and marriage.

Among the interesting examples are the Fulbe of North Cameroon, the Taita of Kenya, the Igbo people of Nigeria, the Zulu people of South Africa, and the Himba people of northwest Namibia. Because of such great cultural diversity, it is challenging to generalize the typical patterns of relationships and marital practices in Africa.

Here is a brief summary of the findings that anthropological expeditions of the 20th century found in common about marriages among many African cultures and ethnic groups.

The Traditional Polygyny in African Marriages of the 20th Century

Polygyny, or having two or more women, was a traditional marital practice in Africa. It is the distinctive feature of African marriage that sets it apart from most Western societies. The African supporters of polygynous traditions argue that polygyny satisfies a man’s vanity and sexual appetite. At the same time, it gives every woman a husband and reduces illegitimacy.

Polygyny was widespread across many cultures in Africa, but it was optional. It was just the possibility of polygyny. It is worth noting that those who are willing could choose to live in a monogamous marriage (Murstein, 1974).

Polygyny was strongly condemned by Christians for religious reasons. The proponents of women’s rights saw it as a symbol of servitude. But in polygyny, on the other hand, a woman could take lovers if a husband failed to satisfy her sexual needs. Co-wives might have fierce competition between themselves. But such a rivalry was not about sexual jealousy. They worried about their children’s status in the polygynous inheritance order (Murstein, 1974).

Polygyny Was Declining in the Second Part of the 20th Century

In the second half of the 20th century, the cultural norms and quantity of polygynous marriages were on the decline. However, a growing interest and emerging adoration of everything indigenous to Africa counteracted this wane of polygamous marital practices. Therefore, in accordance with this cultural enthusiasm, the Pan-African Cultural Congress of 1969 reaffirmed its support for polygyny (Murstein, 1974).

Nonetheless, polygyny in marital practices continued to decline. They lost their popularity in the second part of the 20th century. This declining tendency was especially visible among the urban population.

Increased urbanization has changed the ways of African life. The mass migration of the African population to the cities made it challenging for men to afford several wives. It was difficult for men, in terms of living expenses and in small urban apartments, to accommodate multiple-wife families.

Other cultural factors also played a role in the decrease of polygyny. These marital practices continued to be devalued by the Christian influence. Western cultural norms gradually modernized some African societies. So, people’s views on gender equality and relationships between men and women were also changing.

Polygynous relationships were incompatible with romantic love ideals. Therefore, many African students in the cities supported the monogamy of marital relationships. However, they only made up a small portion of the population (Murstein, 1974).

Urbanization was not omnipresent. The majority of people living in various rural areas and remote regions across the African continent continued to oppose monogamous ideals and practices. New social tendencies had a different impact on different tribes depending on whether they were matrilineal and how polygyny was viewed in their cultures. These effects were fairly complex. The cultural progress was slow, with gradual changes.

Indigenous Love in Africa in the Mid-20th Century

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The African continent is home to culturally diverse ethnic groups of people. This diversity can be evident in differences between countries, within countries, and from tribe to tribe within and between countries. A variety of cultural norms and practices co-exist in the proximity of territories.

Anthropological materials have revealed a variety of people’s perceptions and ideals about love. Those studies have focused on how Nigerians, Cameroonians, Kenyans, and South Africans understand love. They described different varieties and types of love, including special relationships with sex and marriage.

Sex and Love in Africa

In some African cultures, people believed that sex and sexual desire were natural and powerful drives that men and women should handle with ritual respect. Adults remarked favorably on a child’s nicely sculpted genitalia. People were not anxious, shy, or prudent about touching a child’s genitalia. At a very young age, they might kiss the boy’s or girl’s genitalia as a sign of affection.

For many Africans, the physical act of sexual intercourse itself was not associated with even a little feeling of guilt or remorse. However, the symbolic meaning and magical repercussions of sex were culturally important. Therefore, sexual initiations required a complex sequence of ceremonies and rituals.

In African societies, attitudes toward premarital sexual relationships and intercourse vary greatly across cultural groups. Some openly tolerated this possibility, while others were more restrictive to some extent. Sexual play was acceptable among youngsters. If the vagina was not penetrated during intercourse, sex play was appropriate, even if it went to orgasm (Murstein, 1974).

Were Africans Familiar with Romantic Love?

The ideas and images of romantic love have been present in African cultures in the 20th century for a long time but are strongly associated with sex. Numerous anthropological studies have documented many narratives of how people in African tribes portrayed and explained love in relationships with sex and marriage. Many of these romantic love notions and cultural features were quite different from Western European and American conceptions of romantic love. But they were present in cultural traditions, according to multiple anthropological sources (see, for example, Bell, 1995; Cole & Thomas, eds., 2009; Plotnicov, 1995; Riesman, 1973).

Since the middle of the 20th century, the topics of love, romance, and modern marriage have begun to appear in African literature, popular African periodicals, and other media. Those changes have been going on for decades (Jahoda, 1959; Obiechina, 1973).

In personal narratives, senior Africans shared anecdotes, love stories, and popular ethnic fables, illustrating a long cultural history of passionate love. In African communities, love and sexual attraction were common, but they did not fit well with daily life. Men and women frequently shared their personal experiences, admitting that if they could “follow their hearts,” they would marry someone other than their spouse (Smith, 2001).

For Africans, Romantic Love Is Culturally Specific

Romantic love for people in many African tribal groups has been largely passionate love related to sex and sexual love. The prevalent topic of African love songs and stories is sexual longing. Love for them is the yearning for sex with the loved one.

One of the key romantic features of love for Western conceptions of romantic love is the exclusivity of the beloved and the relationship with him or her. However, African cultural beliefs suggest different notions of love. For example, Audrey Richards, a British social anthropologist who studied the Bemba people of Northern Rhodesia in Africa in the 1930s, shared her interesting ethnographic observations. She once told the group of Bemba an English folk-fable about a young prince who, in pursuit of obtaining the hand of his beloved maiden, did many feats: he fought dragons, climbed glass mountains, and crossed chasms. Once the story was told, the Bemba remained silent, plainly bewildered. Finally, an old chief spoke up and voiced the feelings of all present in the simple question, “Why not take another girl?” The reaction of Bemba people to this romantic story reveals that they didn’t follow the cultural idea of exclusivity in love (Karandashev, 2019, p. 125).

Culturally Specific Features of Romantic Love among Senegalese

Here is another interesting example of this culturally specific feature of romantic love in African cultures. It comes from the survey study conducted in the 1980s on the Wolof-speaking Senegalese sample in West Africa (D’Hondt & Vandewiele, 1983).

Their answers by boys and girls to the question “Do you think that one falls in love only once in one’s lifetime?” about the uniqueness of the experience of love are especially illustrative. About 38% of adolescents agreed with this belief in the uniqueness of love, and 62% disagreed. More girls believed this than boys.

Some commented romantically that “people fall in love only once since there is room for only one love in the heart”. However, many Senegalese boys argued that “there were too many pretty girls to settle on only one for good,” indicating that broken love could be replaced or that feelings could change.

Cultural Transformations of African Societies in the Second Part of the 20th Century

Since the mid-20th century, in many African societies, significant changes and transformations have occurred in politics, cultures, and interpersonal and family relations.

Traditional love and marriage in black African villages coexisted with new love and marital relations in urban, industrialized social settings. Various regional and cultural variations have been present across African countries. Some cultural norms, practices, and customs of gender relations, sex, love, and marital relations were widespread, while others were specific to ethnic and tribal groups.