Monthly Archives: September 2022

This Study Revealed the Impediment that Makes People Resist Social Equality

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Modern societies in Europe and North America have made substantial progress in the social policies and practices of social equality. Nevertheless, further advancements in equality are still slow and meet with resistance from policymakers and voters. Some countries are more rapidly adopting the idea of equality than others.

For example, equality in the United States of America is still a long way, in many respects, from being good enough. Many privileged Americans, especially those with conservative values, are still reluctant to adopt the idea of equality.

Even though many people may say they want social equality, their thoughts and feelings about equality can be different. Why so? A new study conducted by N. Derek Brown and his colleagues (Brown et al., 2022) investigated how conservatism, belief in the status quo, preference for social hierarchies, and a “zero-sum” worldview influence the behavior of people aimed at gaining a social advantage.

What Are “Zero-sum” Beliefs?

The study has focused on the psychological function of the zero-sum mentality. This way of thinking makes people in privileged social groups think that policies that promote equality are bad for their own interests.

What is the psychology of the “zero-sum” worldview? People with a “zero-sum mentality” view many situations in social relations as zero-sum games. They believe that when one person gains, the other person loses. In other words, a person considers the other person’s gain as his or her own loss. Sometimes this happens in our lives. However, it is not necessarily true in other circumstances. People with this belief think that even simple things like buying food or a car have a winner and a loser. Because of these ideas, policymakers and voters may think that new policies will hurt them more than help others, even though the opposite is true.

What Did Studies Reveal?

Several studies with a total sample size of 4,197 participants showed that members of privileged groups mistakenly believe inequality to be beneficial. They think that equality can be detrimental to their access to resources. People of advantaged groups perceive equality as good only when it is increased within their social ingroup but not between social groups.

When resources and resource access are unlimited, misconceptions also endure. Even when policies that promote equality have positive effects on society as a whole, people still have wrong beliefs.

For example, a long-term study of American voters in 2020 found that this way of thinking about policy was a better predictor of how they would vote than their political beliefs or egalitarian beliefs.

Furthermore, the two final experiments revealed that advantaged people are more likely to vote for policies that increase inequality and harm their finances rather than policies that increase equality and help their finances. Despite any efforts to assist people in making better decisions, people continue to have these incorrect beliefs. So, it’s surprising that the mistaken belief that equality must be a “zero-sum game” may be why inequality still exists even though it has costs for society as a whole.

Why Is Inequality in American Society So Persistent?

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In the United States of America, equality is frequently declared to be a high cultural value. And there is undeniable evidence of the progress that American society has made in the social practice of equality during the 20th century.

In many respects, however, equality in the United States is still not consistent and is far from ideal. Despite their declared aspiration for social equality, Americans are diverse in their opinions and attitudes toward equality.

Psychological Discrepancies in Declared Values and Actions

The division between liberals and conservatives is quite apparent in this regard. While many progressive men and women see social equality as a highly desirable cultural value in American society, many conservative men and women may disagree with this view of social life.

Even though many people say they believe in the value of equality, both liberals and conservatives from socially advantaged groups may act in ways that protect their advantage.

Members of socially privileged groups often support the idea of equality, but they use their privilege to make policies that keep inequality in place. This trend keeps going even though inequality threatens the prosperity of both poor and rich groups. Many believe that this “cognitive mistake” is more common for conservatives than for liberals. However, it is not always correct. Both conservatives and liberals are prone to such “cognitive mistakes” and advantage-protecting behavior. Whether conservative or liberal, we tend to cling to our advantages at all costs.

Why Are Privileged Americans So Resistant to the Idea of Equality?

A recent study (Brown et al., 2022) looked at how conservatism, believing in the status quo, liking social hierarchies, and having a “zero-sum” view of the world affect behavior that tries to gain an advantage.

People with a zero-sum way of thinking perceive many situations as zero-sum games. This is the zero-sum attitude, which considers one person’s gain as another person’s loss. The study has especially looked at the psychological role of the zero-sum attitude. This attitude makes people from privileged social groups misperceive policies that promote equality as being detrimental to their own interests.

This zero-sum attitude makes negotiators think that their interests will always be at odds with those of their counterparts. They hold this belief even in situations when there are ways to make one or both parties better off without hurting either.

According to this view, people think that even everyday things like buying food or a car result in a position of winner and loser. Because of these beliefs, policymakers and voters may think that new policies will hurt them more than help others, even though the opposite is true.

The Studies Revealed What Causes American Inequality to Be So Persistent

A series of studies with a total sample size of 4,197 participants demonstrated that members of privileged groups incorrectly perceive equality to be detrimental to their access to resources and inequality to be advantageous. Only when equality is increased within their ingroup, as opposed to between groups, do members of advantaged groups perceive it as harmless. Misperceptions persist even when equality-enhancing policies offer broad benefits to society. Misperceptions also persist when resources and resource access are unlimited.

In particular, a longitudinal survey of U.S. voters in 2020 revealed that voters’ perceptions of harm are a stronger predictor of voting against actual equality-enhancing policies than voters’ political and egalitarian beliefs.

And the two final experiments showed that advantaged people are more likely to vote for policies that increase inequality that hurt their finances than for policies that increase equality that help their finances. Even after a change was made to help people make better decisions, people still have the wrong ideas. Surprisingly, this mistaken belief that equality has to be a zero-sum game could be why inequality still exists, even though it has costs for society that hurt everyone.

The Cultural Value and Practice of American Equality

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Equality is commonly declared as a high cultural value in American society. And it is true in many regards. Many legislative norms and practices demonstrate widespread equality in American daily life. However, American equality is still inconsistent and far from ideal in some respects.

What Is Social Equality?

Social equality means that all members of a society are treated equally. This may include having access to civil rights, freedom of speech, autonomy, and certain public goods and social services. Social equality implies that there are no legally recognized social class distinctions and that there is no discrimination based on a fundamental aspect of an individual’s identity.

The best form of equality is equity. Therefore, social equality means that individuals have equal opportunity, not necessarily equal availability. Ultimate social equality means that all individuals are equal in their opportunities,

  • regardless of their age, gender, sexual orientation,
  • regardless of their race, ethnicity, religion, social class, income,
  • regardless of their origin, language, opinions,
  • regardless of their health, and disability.

The Progress in American Equality

The history of American society has been quite controversial in terms of democracy and social equality. Even though American leaders always declared these social values, real legislative norms and practices were far from ideal.

The 20th century has made substantial progress in this regard. It has been especially true since the 1960s. Thanks to the efforts and persistence of countless American people and leaders. America has now come much closer to the ideal of equality upon which the country was founded. The 1963 March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom became a crucial momentum in this regard. One can see clear evidence of the progress in equality. For instance,

  • Race is no longer a barrier to entry at a lunch counter.
  • Restrictive covenants cannot legally state that only certain types of people can purchase certain types of homes.
  • Literacy tests are no longer a barrier to voting.

However, let’s take a closer look at the realities of today in various areas of American life. Studies have obviously demonstrated that real equality is still an ongoing process. Equality is still just a dream, rather than a reality, for many people in the United States.

Is Further Progress Good for American Culture?

On the one hand, many liberal and progressive men and women believe that social equality is good and is a desirable value for the future American culture. On the other hand, many conservative men and women may not think so.

For instance, white Americans, and white men in particular, have a tendency to view efforts to reduce prejudice toward black men and women as being prejudicial to them. This is especially true when the target population is black men and women. We have seen a lot of this conservative backlash against diversity and racial justice.

“The misperception that equality is harmful is stubbornly persistent, resisting both reason and incentivization.”

And the psychology of advantage can explain this social psychological tendency in beliefs, attitudes, and actions. Whether we identify as conservatives or liberals, we tend to hold on to our advantages at all costs (Brown et al., 2022).

“Self-interest…is a massive motivation for those advantaged in society to preserve the status quo insofar as it benefits them.”

Several Effective Flirtation Tactics in Norwegian and American Cultures

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Flirting is the art of seducing a potential romantic or sexual partner through playful verbal and nonverbal exchanges. A variety of factors, such as the gender of a person, his or her attractiveness, personality traits, and situational context, contribute to the success of flirting. Flirtation techniques can be nonverbal, such as using smiles, posture, and eye contact to express interest. Verbal flirtation techniques are the art of saying a compliment to a person of interest. All these ways of interpersonal communication are often involved in the initiation stage of romantic or sexual relationships. Some men and women enjoy these flirtation tactics all the time. This can be called a “playful style of love.” (Karandashev, 2022).

The New Cross-Cultural Study of Flirtation

The question remains: what flirtation tactics are more effective than others? Let us look at some new research evidence recently published in the journal of Evolutionary Psychology. According to the study, laughing at other people’s jokes is an effective technique for both men and women. However, in other regards, these flirtation tactics can be different for men and women.

The purpose of this study was to evaluate the effectiveness of flirting in love relationships. The research question is whether these flirtation tactics are different for men and women.

The study was also interesting in terms of the effect of cultural contexts. The study was cross-cultural and compared perceptions of flirting among people living in Norway, a very gender egalitarian society, and people living in the United States of America, a more religious country. Researchers created four versions of the questionnaire:

  • a woman flirting with a man for short-term sex,
  • a woman flirting with a man for a long-term relationship,
  • a man flirting with a woman for short-term sex, and
  • a man flirting with a woman for a long-term relationship.

Participants filled out the questionnaires about their flirtation strategies, sociosexuality, extraversion, mate value, and religiosity.

The authors from Norwegian and American universities (Kennair et al., 2022) conducted the study among students in these two relatively different cultures. Two samples were used: one from Norway and one from the United States. Students at the Norwegian University of Science and Technology made up their sample group in Norway. The US sample was made up of college students in the Northeast who were in their first to fourth years.

This study advanced our understanding of gender differences in flirting strategies in two countries. Here is a summary of some key findings.

Gender Similarities in Flirting Tactics

In the context of long-term relationships, men and women employ largely similar flirting strategies. For instance, the study supported the role of humor in interpersonal attraction and perception of mate value. Both men and women can effectively flirt by laughing at each other’s jokes. Such responses to humor through laughing or giggling are equally effective flirtation tactics in both men’s and women’s behavior during conversation.

Gender Differences in Flirting Tactics

The findings of the study revealed gender differences in flirting tactics. Men and women differ in the flirtation tactics they use and perceive as effective.

On the one hand, when women dressed sexy, showed off their bodies, or used sexualized physical contact, men liked these flirting tactics in the context of short-term mating relationships.

On the other hand, when men appear generous, committed, and able to maintain intimate conversations and spend time together, women perceive these flirting tactics as effective in the context of long-term mating relationships. Both findings are in accord with the traditional evolutionary interpretation of the different mating preferences of men and women (see for review Karandashev, 2022).

Cultural Differences in Flirting Between Norwegians and Americans

The United States sample was more religious than the Norwegian sample. That reflected on their use of flirting tactics. Participants in the Norwegian sample were more open in their sociosexual orientation, showing a willingness to engage in casual and uncommitted sexual relationships.

Americans are better at flirting by being generous and looking for attention than Norwegians are. 

The Chivalrous Poetry of German Minstrels

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The cultural concept of chivalry describes the social norms that medieval knights were expected to uphold in their interactions with women. These ideals of chivalry and standards of chivalrous conduct gave rise to a new romantic culture. Historians frequently refer to courtly love as the cradle of romantic ideals (Karandashev, 2017).

During that time, chivalric ideals and courtly love became popular in many European countries, including Spain, France, and Germany.

All over Europe, the fascinating chivalry tales of the Middle Ages popularized courtly love. Stories like Don Quixote’s from Spain and Ulrich von Lichtenstein’s from Germany were among them. These tales depicted noble chivalry and the beauty of courtly love. Other examples of poetry, songs, and folklore of medieval European societies also made important contributions to the history of romantic ideas of love. Some of these were the poems about knights by the German minnesinger and the Provencal troubadours. These examples demonstrate how the history and psychology of love in these countries were similar in some ways while being different in others. Here, I take a quick look at what Henry Finck (1887/2019) says about the chivalrous poetry of German minnesingers.

Who Were the German Minstrels

The German wandering minstrels, like their French counterparts, the troubadours, belonged primarily to the aristocracy. They gave their addresses primarily to married women. In both cases, of the German minstrels and French troubadours, the rigid chaperonage of the young was a reason. Since men were not allowed to make love properly, they did it improperly. However, the Minnesingers, at least in verse, were less amorous than the Troubadours. However, the minnesingers, at least in verse, were less amorous than the troubadours.

What German Minstrel Songs Were About

As American music historian Louis Elson (1900/2015) commented in his History of German Song:

“The Troubadour praised the eyes, the hair, the lips, the form of his chosen one; the Minnesinger praised the sweetness, the grace, the modesty, the tenderness of the entire sex. The one was concrete, the other abstract.”

However, abstractness is not a desirable quality in poetry, the essence of which is concrete imagery. As a result, with a few exceptions, the German Minnesingers are not poets on par with their French counterparts. Friedrich Schiller, a German poet of the 18th century, was very critical of these early writers. Schiller once remarked to a friend,

“If the sparrows on the roof ever undertake to write, or to issue an almanac of love and friendship,” he once remarked to a friend, “I would wager ten to one it would be just like these songs of love.”

“What a dearth of concepts in these songs! A garden, a tree, a hedge, a forest, and a sweetheart are just a few of the things that can be found in a sparrow’s head. Then there are fragrant flowers, mellow fruits, twigs on which a bird sits in the sunshine and sings, and spring comes and winter goes, and nothing remains but ennui.”

This criticism of Schiller, however, was too broad. There were notable exceptions to these sparrow-poets. One of them was Johannes Hadlaub, a Minnesinger of the 14th century. As Wilhelm Scherer, a German historian of literature, described him in his History of German Literature,

“He introduces human figures into his descriptions of scenery, and shows us, for example, in the summer, a group of beautiful ladies walking in an orchard, and blushing with womanly modesty when gazed at by young men.”

Then, Wilhelm Scherer compared the challenges of love to those of hardworking men such as charcoal-burners and carters.

“Hadlaub tells us more of his personal experiences than any other Minnesinger. Even as a child, we learn, he had loved a little girl, who, however, would have nothing to say to him, but continually flouted him, to his great distress. Once she bit his hand, but her bite, he says, was so tender, womanly, and gentle, that he was sorry the feeling of it passed away so soon. Another time, being urged to give him a keepsake, she threw her needle-case at him, and he seized it with sweet eagerness, but it was taken from him and returned to her, and she was made to give it him in a friendly manner. In later years his pains still remained unrewarded; when his lady perceived him, she would get up and go away. Once, he tells us, he saw her fondling and kissing a child, and when she had gone he drew the child towards him and embraced it as she had embraced it, and kissed it in the place where she had kissed it.”

How Minstrel Songs Changed Over Time

The differences between the earlier and later Minnesongs indicate a gradual change in the social and amorous position of women. As Professor Scherer observes in the early poems, “The social supremacy of the noble woman is not yet recognized, and the man woos with proud self-respect.”…

Another rejects a woman who desired his love… A fourth brags about his victories. He claims that “Women are as easily tamed as falcons.” In another song, a woman describes how she tamed a falcon, but he flew away and now wears different chains. …

“In the later Minnesongs it is the women who are proud, and the men who must languish.”

The German folk songs that came after the periods of Minnesotan music show an even more striking change.

“The women of these popular love-songs are not mostly married women; they are, as a rule, young maidens” [at last, pure Romantic Love!] “who are not only praised but also turned to ridicule and blamed. The woes of love do not here arise from the capricious coyness of the fair one, but are called forth by parting, jealousy, or faithlessness. Feeling is stronger than in the Minnesong, and seeks accordingly for stronger modes of expression.”

As Henry Finck (1887/2019) commented in his book, the first appearance of true romantic love in these folk songs was no mere coincidence. Some gifted people from the lower classes composed those folk songs. Among them, chaperonage, as the archenemy of love, was less strict than in the upper classes.

The Chivalrous Poetry of French Troubadours

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The cultural idea of chivalry describes the chivalrous code of interpersonal attitudes that medieval knights were supposed to demonstrate towards women. These chivalrous ideas and norms of gallant behavior created a new culture of love. Many people think that the culture of courtly love in the Middle Ages was the origin of romantic love (Karandashev, 2017).

The gallantry of chivalry and the gallant courtly love became important cultural phenomena in Spain, France, and Germany during those times.

Courtly love was widely popularized in the fascinating chivalry tales of the Middle Ages. The Spanish tales of Don Quixote and the German tale of Ulrich von Lichtenstein were among those. These stories show the noble chivalry and the gallantry of courtly love. Other significant cultural contributions in the history of romantic love ideas came from medieval European cultures’ poetic images and language. Among these were the Provencal troubadours’ chivalrous poetry and the German minnesingers’ chivalrous poetry. They represent significant national differences in the history and psychology of love. Here I briefly consider the chivalrous poetry of French troubadours as it is described by Henry Finck (1887/2019).

Why the French Troubadours Were So Important in Creating a New Culture of Love

In the French medieval period, troubadours were the influential moral and cultural forces disseminating new cultural ideas and norms. In terms of their public influence, they can be compared with modern magazines and social media. As the French historian Augustin Thierry wrote,

“In the twelfth century, the songs of the troubadours, circulating rapidly from castle to castle and from town to town, supplied the place of periodical gazettes in all the country between the rivers Isère and Vienne, the mountains of Auvergne, and the two seas.”

Augustin Thierry, cited in Finck (1887/2019).

These wandering minstrels were from various social classes, including nobility, artisans, and clergy. They wielded a strong poetic power.

The Noble French Troubadours

As the German-English music critic of the 19th century, Francis Hueffer, remarked on Provençal life and poetry,

“By far the largest number of the Troubadours known to us—fifty-seven in number—belong to the nobility, not to the highest nobility in most cases, it is true. In several instances, poverty is distinctly mentioned as the cause for adopting the profession of a troubadour. It almost appears, indeed, as if this profession, like that of the churchman, and sometimes in connection with it, had been regarded by Provençal families as a convenient mode of providing for their younger sons.”

Francis Hueffer, cited in Finck (1887/2019).

During that time, social class distinctions were strictly observed. So, it is worthwhile to note that the majority of these singers were of noble descent. The medieval aristocracy was hesitant to welcome commoners into their castles. They were reluctant to allow their wives the privilege of adoration in verse and deed.

The Troubadours Were Welcome in the Castles Despite Jealousy

Women, however, showed a preference for bards and tenors regardless of such social characteristics. Their husbands as the heads of households displayed remarkable leniency towards their poetic guests. Undoubtedly, having a well-known poet sing about their spouse in person was flattering to their ego. The troubadours’ appearances at all social circles of society gave them the influence in social relations. So, for the hosts of the castles it was wise not to lose their favor.

The Intriguing Romantic Jealousies of Chivalry Love

Occasionally, however, men’s jealousy appeared in relationships and held its high price. It was illustrated, for instance, in the case of Guillem, the protagonist of Hueffer and Mackenzie’s opera “The Troubadour.” He was murdered by the injured husband and the unfaithful wife who was forced to drink the wine dubbed “the poet’s blood,” which had been horribly realistically adulterated.

The women were also prone to jealousy. However, they often were jealous not for their husbands, but for the troubadours. They desired a monopoly over their art and adoration.

Women, however, showed a preference for bards and tenors regardless of such social characteristics. Their husbands, as the heads of households, displayed remarkable leniency towards their poetic guests. Undoubtedly, having a well-known poet sing about their spouse in person was flattering to their ego. The troubadours’ appearances in all social circles of society gave them influence in social relations. So, for the hosts of the castles, it was wise not to lose their favor.

Occasionally, however, men’s jealousy appeared in relationships and held its high price. It was illustrated, for instance, in the case of Guillem, the protagonist of Hueffer and Mackenzie’s opera “The Troubadour.” He was murdered by the injured husband and the unfaithful wife, who was forced to drink the wine dubbed “the poet’s blood,” which had been horribly realistically adulterated. The women were also prone to jealousy. However, they were often jealous not for their husbands, but for the troubadours. They desired a monopoly over their art and adoration.

Inconsistencies of Favors and Affections of Troubadours

However, the troubadours tended to transfer their affections to other women.

Their fickleness, however, was not the greatest flaw of these bards. Their major moral failing was that they ignored the distinction between conjugal and romantic love. There were many love stories about the troubadours’ love, but none of them involved a woman who wasn’t married. Francis Hueffer noted that an odd point of similarity between these troubadours’ love stories and the French novels of the 19th century. In this regard, he highlighted the interest in this feature of French national psychology.

The Troubadour’s Pastorals of Love

Hueffer analyzed the pastoral of Guirant (1260) as a case in point:

“The idea is simple enough: an amorous knight, whose importunate offers to an unprotected girl are kept in check by mere dint of graceful, witty, sometimes tart reply.” These offers of love are repeated at intervals of two, three, seven, and six years, and finally transferred to the woman’s daughter, always with the same bad luck. His own wife, meanwhile, is never considered a proper object for his poetic effusions. Concerning the German imitator of foreign customs—Ulrich von Lichtenstein, mentioned a few pages back—we have likewise seen that his wife never entered his mind except when he came home “tired and dilapidated, to be restored by her nursing.”

Francis Hueffer, cited in Finck (1887/2019).

The Other Types of Troubadours’ Love Songs

In addition to pastorals of the type just mentioned above, the troubadours had a variety of songs of other kinds, including tensons and contentions, which were “metrical dialogues of lively repartee on some disputed points of gallantry.”

This could be the reason why the fable said that aristocratic women of the time “instituted courts of love,” in which questions of gallantry were gravely discussed and determined by their suffrages.

The question remained, for example, whether a husband could really love his wife. Scholars have continued to argue whether such debating clubs for discussing the ethics and etiquette of love existed. The evidence, however, appears to be negative.

The Gallantry of Chivalry in the Art of Love

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The term “chivalry” refers to the rules of behavior that knights in medieval Europe were supposed to follow in their interpersonal relationships. The chivalry of the medieval times brought the gallantry of courtly love as a great romantic invention in the art of love.

Medieval literature popularized chivalric ideals as cultural and moral virtues. Medieval nobles and knights in France, Spain, and Germany quickly adopted chivalrous rules for relationships, such as courtly love (Karandashev, 2017).

Henry Finck wrote that the chivalry of medieval times brought great cultural innovations in the notion of love. The gallantry of chivalry and the art of love were among those (Finck, 1887/2019).

Who Was a Knight-errant?

A common character in medieval chivalric romance literature is the knight-errant. The word “errant” indicates how a knight-errant might travel the countryside in search of adventures. He demonstrated his chivalric virtues in knightly duels or through other pursuits of courtly love.

When Did the Gallantry of Chivalry Become the Art of Love?

The way a knight-errant acted in relationships could be summed up with the phrase “gallantry gone mad.” One could see some hints of gallantry in the writings of the ancient Roman poet Ovid. However, this overtone of love could be heard clearly and loudly only in the age of medieval chivalry. The gallant behavior was “contagious” like fashion. The novel idea of gallant behavior toward women became very popular among these knights. They carried it to the most ridiculous extremes.

Women were unaccustomed to such devotion. Therefore, they developed extravagant coyness in equal measure to that of the men. They put this gallantry through the craziest, cruelest tests possible.

The knights of medieval times were sent to battle, to the crusades, and into the dens of wild animals to test their devotion. Few knights of that time were as manly as the one in the ballad of Friedrich Schiller, a German playwright and poet of the 18th century. Schiller’s literary knight, after retrieving his lady’s glove from the lion’s den, threw it in her face instead of accepting her willing favors. Wolfram von Eschenbach, a German knight and poet of medieval German literature, bitterly accuses this art of love of causing the deaths of many noble knights in reference to these coy and cruel tests of gallantry.

The Romantic Value of the Knights’ Trials and Procrastinations

One can see some absurdities in the medieval traditions of chivalry and gallantry. Nevertheless, the knights’ trials and procrastinations had a positive value. Those acts delaying love satisfaction gave the feelings of love a supersensual and imaginative basis. When the troubadour love-poetry became popular in Austria, Gotthold Bötticher said of “Parzival,” a medieval romance by the knight-poet Wolfram von Eschenbach:

“it was especially the idea of Minnedienst (love-service) that was seized upon with avidity: the knight wooes and labours for a woman’s love, but she holds back and grants no favours until after a long trial-service. The final object of this service, the possession of the beloved, is regarded as quite subordinate to the pangs and pleasures of wooing and waiting.”

Gotthold Bötticher

Certainly, the notions and rituals of love have evolved to a significant novelty. And fashion greatly aided the innovation. The sentiment was that “whoever is not in the service of love is unworthy to be a courtier.” Thus, the boors — unrefined and ill-mannered people who would prefer to continue treating women as servants — had to put on the yoke of gallantry in order to be “fashionable.”

The Spanish and German Medieval Stories of Militant Chivalry

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The concept of chivalry usually refers to chivalrous codes of behavior that knights and gentlemen of medieval Europe should demonstrate in their social interactions. In the time period of about 1170 to 1220 CE, knights created the social rules of the chivalric code of conduct.

The word “chivalry” came from the Old French word “chevalerie,” which means “horse soldiery.” Initially, it referred to the men who rode horses. But later it denoted the ideals of a knight.

Medieval literature popularized chivalric ideals, which later shifted their meaning to noble social and moral qualities. The aristocracy and noble people of medieval France, Spain, and Germany widely accepted such chivalrous norms of behavior. Chivalry has become an essential feature of the courtly love art (Karandashev, 2017).

According to Henry Finck, chivalry practice was much less refined than its literary representation.

Many historians have praised the moral virtues of chivalry. However, some knightly behaviors appeared to be less than morally virtuous. It is true that the knights took a solemn oath promising to defend widows, orphans, and ladies. They also showed respect for and deference to them. Nevertheless, they treated women harshly when they invaded cities or stormed castles. Henry Finck defined this kind of chivalry as militant chivalry (Finck, 1887/2019).

Let us read his writings. Chivalry militant was most common in Spain, Southern France, and Germany. The warm climate and friendly nature of those countries provided ideal conditions for wandering knights in search of adventure. Here are two examples of medieval chivalry and the art of love. One is the story of the Spanish Don Quixote, and another is the story of the German Ulrich von Lichtenstein.

The Spanish Images of Chivalry

For example, it appears that the medieval knights of Spain were wandering around the country, interfering in every quarrel.

In the literary genre, Cervantes presented a lifelike picture of knight-errantry in Don Quixote. His intention was to make fun, not so much of chivalry as of trashy contemporaneous romances of chivalry. However, he could not avoid depicting the comic side of chivalry itself. It was indeed “difficile satiram non scribere.”

Each knight had his own Dulcinea, whom he may not have seen. Nevertheless, he fights all these battles for her honor and love. And whenever he meets another knight, he immediately challenges him to admit that his Dulcinea, whom he has never seen, is the most beautiful lady in the world.

The other knight repeats the challenge on behalf of his Dulcinea. Therefore, he fights the battle through the inexorable logic of superior strength, intended to prove the superior beauty of his chosen lady-love. The victor celebrates victory and sends the defeated knight as a prisoner to the victor’s mistress with a love message.

The German Images of Chivalry

When medieval German knights came into close contact with French knights, the Germans adopted the idea and the fantastic aspect of chivalry from the French. And they pursued the code of chivalry with great diligence. As the 19th-century German cultural historian Johannes Scherr noted,

“Spain has imagined a Don Quixote, but Germany has really produced one.”

(cited in Finck, 1887/2019,p. 100).

His name was Ulrich von Lichtenstein. He was born in the year 1200.

“From his boyhood, Herr Ulrich’s thoughts were directed towards woman-worship, and as a youth he chose a high-born and, be it well understood, a married lady as his patroness, in whose service he infused method into his knightly madness. The circumstance that meanwhile he himself gets married does not abate his folly. He greedily drinks water in which his patroness has washed herself; he has an operation performed on his thick double underlip, because she informs him that it is not inviting for kisses; he amputates one of his fingers which had become stiff in an encounter, and sends it to his mistress as a proof of his capacity of endurance for her sake. Masked as Frau Venus, he wanders about the country and engages in encounters, in this costume, in honour of his mistress; at her command he goes among the lepers and eats with them from one bowl…. The most remarkable circumstance, however, is that Ulrich’s own spouse, while her husband and master masquerades about the land as a knight in his beloved’s service, remains aside in his castle, and is only mentioned (in his poetic autobiography) whenever he returns home, tired and dilapidated, to be restored by her nursing.”

Johannes Scherr, cited in Finck, 1887/2019, p. 100.

When a German knight chose a Dulcinea, he adopted and wore her colors. He was now her love-servant and stood in the same relationship to his mistress as a vassal to his master. As Scherr continues his writing,

“The beloved gave her lover a love-token—a girdle or veil, a ribbon, or even a sleeve of her dress; this token he fastened to his helmet or shield, and great was the lady’s pride if he brought it back to her from battle thoroughly cut and hewn to pieces. Thus (in Parzival) Gawan had fastened on his shield a sleeve of the beautiful Olibet, and when he returned it to her, torn and speared, “Da ward des Mägdlein’s Freude gross; ihr blanker Arm war noch bloss, darüber schob sie ihn zuhand.”

Johannes Scherr, cited in Finck, 1887/2019, p. 100.

Chivalry Love Across Cultures

Here I presented two cultural examples of chivalry. However, romantic ideas of chivalry and courtly love similar to European conduct of love evolved in South Asia and Japan during 900–1200 CE. American historian William M. Reddy (2012) explored the depiction of courtly love and of the emerging ideal of chivalry in twelfth-century romances.

Medieval Chivalry of Courtly Love, Part 1

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What is chivalry? The word “chivalry” may have several connotations in our minds.

The idea of chivalry is closely associated with chivalrous codes of the behavior that knights and gentlemen ought to exhibit in social relationships with other noble people. Cultural norms of the chivalric code of conduct were established in the circles of noble people in medieval Europe approximately between 1170 and 1220.

The word “chivalry” is derived from the French word for horse – “cheval.” The term “chivalry” itself came from the Old French word “chevalerie,” which means “horse soldiery.” Originally referring only to horse-mounted men, it later became associated with knightly ideals.

The medieval European code of chivalry had its origins in earlier centuries. Yet, medieval literature and the people of the literary cycles of that time popularized chivalric ideals. Over time, its meaning in Europe has changed to focus on more general social and moral qualities.

Chivalry became an important part of the art of courtly love that developed during those times in the south of France (Karandashev, 2017).

Let us look at how Henry Finck portrayed the militant and comic facets of chivalry (Finck, 1887/2019).

Here are some of his interesting descriptions. As he wrote,

When Did the Flowers of Love Bloom?

There was one sunny oasis in the howling wilderness of mediaeval masculine brutality and feminine degradation where the flowers of love were allowed to grow undisturbed for a few generations. It was until military ambition trod them underfoot again. The period of chivalry referred to this brief period of gentler manners.

Since the 5th century, ardent devotion to the Virgin Mary had been growing. Later, this adoration extended to the entire female sex, or at least its nobler representatives. This was the mission that the knights and poets of chivalrous times took on.

The Controversies of Chivalry

According to Henry Finck, chivalry was frequently a mixture of clownishness and licentiousness. And its practice was much less refined than its theory. Henry noted that, contrary to those historians who have sung its praises, others have questioned whether its influence was generally positive or negative. On the one hand, the knights did swear to protect widows and orphans, as well as to respect and honor ladies. On the other hand, when they took cities or stormed castles, women were subjected to the most brutal treatment.

What Motivated Men’s Chivalry?

To understand this inconsistency, Henry Finck proposed a distinction between two types of chivalry: militant and poetic. In the militant type of knight-errantry, men had less of a desire to help women and more of a desire to satisfy their silly masculine vanity. The ideas of war thoroughly imbued their medieval minds. So, these knights could not conceive of love except in military guise.

Therefore, they rode around the country in search of adventure, ostensibly in the service of an adored mistress. However, really, they looked for an outlet for their pent-up military energy and ambition in times of peace.

The famous tales of medieval chivalry

Here are two interesting tales of chivalry from the Middle Ages. One is the Spanish tale of Don Quixote, and the other one is the German story of Ulrich von Lichtenstein.

These two, and other magnificent love stories of medieval times, illustrate how the concept of chivalry gave rise to the gallantry of courtly love. The culture of courtly love has been widely regarded as one of the most romantic innovations of medieval times.

Loving Kindness and Benevolence

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Loving kindness and benevolence are the greatest needs that people have to live healthy and happily. Love finds expression in acts of kindness, and acts of kindness foster the growth of love. In recent years, the concept of “loving kindness” has become very popular among researchers and practitioners in cultural studies, psychology, and mental health. Its popularity came from the original Buddhist philosophy and culture.

The Buddhist Culture of Love

The Sanskrit word “maitrī” is usually translated into English as loving-kindness, benevolence, good will, and active interest in others.

In Buddhist cultural teaching, loving kindness is the mental state of unselfish and unconditional kindness to all beings and to each one.

The Buddhist philosophies, the ancient religions of Hinduism and Jainism, teach people to cultivate universal loving-kindness, benevolence, and compassion in their minds.

In some regards, this Buddhist teaching of loving-kindness resembles the Christian teaching of agape, as altruistic love for others, , as well as the ancient Chinese culture of altruistic love.

Kindly and Benevolently Love Another as Yourself

Loving kindness lets us stay connected. It has the power to eliminate barriers between us and others.

The core concept of Buddhist teaching—”anatta”—denies the existence of a separate self. As Zen Master Dogen (1976) put it:

“To forget the self is to be enlightened by all things. To be enlightened by all things is to remove the barriers between oneself and others.”

Zen Master Dogen (1976).

This means that “self” does not exist within individual existence in the sense of a permanent autonomous being. As the Dalai Lama noted,

What we think of as our self, our personality and ego, are temporary creations, if not delusions.

(Dalai Lama, 2007).

Loving Kindness Can Be Contagious

Why is being kind so important? Kindness is an expression of love and a way that love grows.

Keep in mind that loving kindness can be contagious. Practicing loving kindness every day in relationships with others can breed loving kindness in others. When people see or receive expressions and acts of love and kindness, they tend to repay or transfer such loving kindness to others. Daily and random acts of kindness can increase feelings of happiness, optimism, and confidence in those who love and those who are loved. They may also inspire others to replicate the kind and benevolent actions they have witnessed. Therefore, these expressions and acts of loving kindness can contribute to a more positive community. The kindness of love has the potential to make the world a better place.

11 Simple Ways to Be Loving, Kind, and Benevolent in Daily Life

There are several ways to practice loving kindness in everyday life. Among those are these simple ethical rules:

  • Kindness puts others at the center.
  • Pay attention to others.
  • Be there to listen.
  • Smile at others.
  • Show them that you care for them.
  • Offer a hand to help.
  • Stay connected.
  • Pay attention to what you give rather than what you receive.
  • Compliment others rather than expect compliments.
  • Expect good things to happen. Be a positive light.

Following these ways is so simple but so beneficial for others as well as for you. Loving kindness brings wellbeing for all.

Be kind, benevolent, and kindly loving and the world will be a better place to live for you and for them.