Monthly Archives: January 2022

Why Do We Love Good-Looking People?

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The good-looking people are likable. No doubt. They entice us with their physically attractive appearance. We also tend to fall in love with beautiful women and handsome men. They look cool and perfect in everything.

A Stereotype of Beauty

Our initial perception of others and interaction with them substantially rely on their appearance (e.g., Berscheid & Walster, 1974; Li et al., 2013). We hold a pervasive and influential stereotype: “What is beautiful is good” (Dion, Berscheid, & Walster, 1972; Hatfield & Rapson, 2000; Lemay et al., 2010; Lorenzo et al., 2010).

However, studies have shown that this stereotype is less powerful and less general than we are used to thinking (Eagly, Makhijani, et al., 1991). It is also culturally specific (for a review, see Swami & Furnham, 2008). The stereotype is present in many cultures, yet its content varies according to their cultural values (e.g., in individualistic and collectivistic cultures). What is beautiful is culturally good (Wheeler & Kim, 1997).

Mating and Dating Value of Beauty

Physical attractiveness has great mating value. Studies have shown that it significantly predicts dating and romantic relationships (Poulsen, et al., 2013; Walster, Aronson, Abrahams, & Rottman, 1966). Good-looking people are more confident in romantic situations (Hatfield & Rapson, 2000).

A study with a large national sample in Spain (Sangrador & Yela, 2000) showed that the beauty of a potential partner strongly motivates a person to engage in sporadic as well as long-term relationships. Partners with attractive physical appearances prompt not only our sexual attraction but also passion, intimacy, commitment, and idealization. Thus, falling in love occurs due to the idealization of the loved one, which involves many positive and negative emotions and favorable subjective associations.

Is Physical Appearance Important for the Young or for the Old People?

Another study of two samples in the Netherlands and Germany (De Raad & Doddema-Winsemius, 1992) found that young and single people especially value the physical attractiveness and good looks of a prospective partner. Older people are more motivated by a desire for home and children, chastity, and ambition.

Is Physical Appearance Important For Women or For Men?

Many studies have found that men consider the physical attractiveness of their mates to be of greater value than women do (see, for review, e.g., Buss, 1994; Feingold, 1990). It sounds like common sense. Women know this very well and tend to beautify themselves. The women strive to make a good impression on men as well as on other women.

While among humans, women tend to care more about their beautiful appearance compared to men, these sex differences are just opposite in some other species (Prum, 2017). Among birds, for instance, Mother Nature encourages males to beautify themselves more than females do.

Evolutionary psychology tends to contend that these sex differences are cross-culturally universal (e.g., Buss et al., 1990; Buss, 1994; Buss & Barnes, 1986). The findings, however, did not always consistently support this implication.

Multiple findings across many studies (Langlois et al. 2000) have shown no gender differences in the importance of attractiveness. Women favor attractive men, not less than those with resources.

Besides, situations of real interaction with potential mates, such as speed dating, showed that men and women value a partner’s good looks equally highly (Eastwick, Eagly, Finkel, & Johnson, 2011).

Moreover, species and cultures differ in this respect, which can have different effects on mating relations depending on ecological, social, and cultural contexts (Karandashev, 2017). Local ecological conditions may also play their roles (Cunningham & Barbee, 1991).

Among the Other Topics of Interest in this Regard Are:

The “Mere Exposure Effect” and Love Attraction

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Familiarity and similarity are powerful forces in our love attraction that can be influenced by genetic predisposition, imprinting, or by the “mere exposure effect.”

They all have the same psychological mechanism of prototypicality. Despite our interest in novelty, we are more likely to find a prototypical person more attractive than others. We generally tend to like something familiar in our lives. Novelty may have an unpredictable effect.

The “mere exposure effect” explains why social propinquity and residential proximity lead to positive attitudes in relationships, love, and marriage.

What Is the “Mere Exposure Effect”?

How frequently and for how long we perceive something determines our liking. We tend to like any object or person after repeated exposure. The more we see, the more we like. Such a “mere exposure effect” is well documented in social psychology (e.g., Bornstein, 1989, 1993; Harmon-Jones & Allen, 2001; Moreland & Zajonc, 1982; Saegert, Swap, & Zajonc, 1973; Zajonc, 1968).

Do Our Aesthetic Preferences Depend on Mere Exposure Effects?

The effect of “familiarity leads to liking” determines our preferences in music, films, body and facial appearance, and fashion. Complexity and novelty can be aversive. In many things, mere exposure and typicality shape our aesthetic preferences (e.g., Cutting, 2006; Martindale, Moore, & West, 1988).

This is why many people like pop music more than classical music. The pop songs are simple and, therefore, easy to love. Listening to complex and unfamiliar classical music may be aversive. Novelty and complexity can be appealing. When people listen to complex music more, they tend to understand and like it more. 

The “Mere Exposure Effect” and Interpersonal Attraction

The same way the “mere exposure effect” works in our communication, affecting our interpersonal attraction (e.g., Brockner & Swap, 1976; Harrison, 1977; Moreland & Beach, 1992; Saegert, Swap, & Zajonc, 1973).

The more frequently we see (listen to, smell, or touch) a woman or man, the more we perceive them as pleasing and likeable. The “mere exposure effect” influences our favorable perception of them. However, when we see someone we dislike again and again, we dislike them even more.

The “Mere Exposure Effect” Is Ubiquitous and Pervasive yet Multifaceted

This effect works in visual, auditory, and olfactory perception (e.g., Delplanque et, 2015; Heingartner & Hall, 1974; Montoya et al., 2017).

The more we see, listen, taste, smell, and touch, the more we like—to some extent. It is also evident regardless of race and gender (Hamm, Baum, & Nikels, 1975).

The effect of exposure on liking, however, is not straight but rather curvilinear. The more we see, the more we like—up to a point. The increasing liking then reaches a plateau and then declines, giving way to disliking. When we see something or someone for a prolonged period of time, the impression can become dull, boring, and even aversive.

Here Are Some Key Practical Takeaways

Let’s also keep in mind:

The more we see, the more we love, but only if we are initially neutral or slightly positive towards him or her.

However, if we dislike him or her at first, the opposite effect occurs: the more we see, the more we dislike. 

The Implications of the “Mere Exposure Effect” for Love Attraction

The “mere exposure effect” has important implications for intergroup and intercultural relations. The diverse and mixed cultural environment, rather than spatial segregation, is favorable for inter-racial, inter-ethnic, and inter-faith liking and attraction.

The “mere exposure effect” is also applicable for a better understanding of the presumed opposition between free-choice and arranged marriages. Do free-choice marriages rely on love more than arranged marriages? Not necessarily.

Proponents of free-choice marriage believe that love attraction is a prerequisite for loving relations in family, while supporters of arranged marriage think that love attraction is rather a consequence of positive relations in family. The question remains: “What is more important, initial impressions of “wow” in love, or the development of love over time as a result of the positive “mere exposure effect” of living with someone?

The “mere exposure effect” can also explain so-called “progression bias.” The psychological phenomenon of “progression bias” is a tendency of single men and women in sexual and romantic relationships to favor staying in a relationship over the course of the relationship’s progression. The longer they are in a relationship, the more they prefer to stay in that relationship.

Among the Other Topics of Interest in this Regard Are:

Sexual Imprinting of Attraction and Love

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The mechanism of imprinting plays an important role in shaping our sexual attraction and love preferences. I explain what “imprinting” is elsewhere.

Early works by Konrad Lorenz (Lorenz, 1935) demonstrated that the early experiences of birds and animals could affect their mating preferences. Sexual imprinting can play an important role in adult life.

Positive Sexual Imprinting in Childhood

Our early childhood attachments to an opposite-sex parent or peer have a significant impact on the type of person we will perceive as attractive to us in adult life. Due to imprinting, early experience with kin boosts sexual attraction when a person is unaware of the incest taboo. However, such an experience reduces sexual attraction when the person is aware of the culturally imposed taboo (Fraley & Marks, 2010).

Imprinting of Love in Adolescence

Researchers and practitioners believe that adolescence is a particularly sensitive period when “imprinting” shapes our romantic preferences. In this regard, first love plays a strikingly memorable role. Across many cultures, this period—between the ages of 13 and 14—provides adolescents with the first and most substantial time that determines the qualities and types of subsequent romantic attachments.

According to the imprinting theory, adolescence is a sensitive period for romantic relationships, and experiences during this period can be imprinted for life (Brain, 2010; Braams, 2013).

Negative Sexual Imprinting

In other cases, negative imprinting may have the opposite effect. A child may develop a sexual aversion to the phenotype of a person with whom the child spent a significant amount of time in infancy and childhood. This way, imprinting leads to sexual aversion rather than sexual attraction. Those with whom animals or human individuals spent their early years in childhood can be sexually unattractive to them. They are negatively imprinted (see for review, Lampert 1997, p.15).

Here are two case studies from Israel and Taiwan from earlier times that present examples of such negative imprinting.

Two Case Studies of Negative Sexual Imprinting

In the old Taiwanese culture, the parents of a boy often adopted a baby girl from another family for matchmaking in the future. This way, the parents of the girl saved on her upbringing costs, whereas the parents of the boy saved on the high bride price.

Thus, the girl and boy grew up together as siblings. It turned out that when parents expected their children’s marriage in early adulthood, the boy and girl were not sexually attracted to each other and preferred to avoid this kind of relationship. When they chose to be obedient and agreed to marry, they did not enjoy their marital life. And their sexual life was unpleasant (Wolf, 1995).

Traditionally, children in Israeli kibbutz communities spent a significant amount of time in communal houses for children. Due to this, they spent far more time with their peers than with their families.

These boys and girls, who grew up together in early childhood, were often not attracted to their peers when it came to mating. And they usually did not marry each other (Shepher, 1971, 1983).

The Effect of Positive and Negative Imprinting Is Not Simple and Not Always Consistent

These two practices from the past illustrate how negative imprinting can affect sexual attraction. Besides such case studies, however, the systematic review of publications has shown that the effects of positive and negative imprinting on human mate preferences and sexual attraction can vary.

In humans, researchers found little evidence in support of positive imprinting, whereas natural observations provided support for the effect of negative sexual imprinting. Men and women are not sexually attracted and prefer to avoid mating with those with whom they were close in infancy and early childhood. However, such experiences do not cause strong aversions. Such experience also does not completely suppress or exclude sexual desire.

In the studies of humans, relatively weak evidence was generally found for both positive and negative imprinting. Men and women are less likely to fall in love with those with whom they were close in infancy and early childhood. Nevertheless, they do not experience strong aversiveness toward them and can feel sexual desire (Rantala & Marcinkowska, 2011).

Thus, imprinting can have a significant impact on our attractions or aversions in love. Nevertheless, the effects of imprinting do not shape our “destiny” in love. We still have some relative leeway in terms of who we love.

Among the Other Topics of Interest in this Regard Are:

References

Bateson, P. (1978). Sexual imprinting and optimal outbreeding. Nature, 273(5664), 659-660.

Bereczkei, T., Gyuris, P., Koves, P., & Bernath, L. (2002). Homogamy, genetic similarity, and imprinting; parental influence on mate choice preferences. Personality and Individual Differences, 33, 677-690.

Bereczkei, T., Gyuris, P., & Weisfeld, G. E. (2004). Sexual imprinting in human mate choice. Proceedings of the Royal Society of London B, 271, 1129-1134.

Brain, A. (2010). Attraction: First Love – The Imprint. Blog of Ageless Brain.

Braams, B. (2013). Adolescents in love: What makes a first love special? Leidenpsychologyblog. Leiden University.

Fraley, R. C., & Marks, M. J. (2010). Westermarck, Freud, and the incest taboo: Does familial resemblance activate sexual attraction?. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 36(9), 1202-1212.

Immelmann, K. (1969). über den Einfluß frühkindlicher Erfahrungen auf die geschlechtliche Objektfixierung bei Estrildiden 1. Zeitschrift für Tierpsychologie, 26(6), 677-691.

Immelmann, K. (1972). Sexual and other long-term aspects of imprinting in birds and other species. Advances in the Study of Behavior, 4, 147-174

. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0065-3454(08)60009-1

Lampert, A. (1997). The evolution of love. Praeger.

Lorenz, K. (1935). Der kumpan in der umwelt des vogels. Journal für Ornithologie, 83(2), 137-213.

Moltz, H. (1960). Imprinting: Empirical basis and theoretical significance. Psychological Bulletin, 57(4), 291–314. https://doi.org/10.1037/h0041214

Rantala, M. J., & Marcinkowska, U. M. (2011). The role of sexual imprinting and the Westermarck effect in mate choice in humans. Behavioral Ecology and Sociobiology, 65(5), 859-873.

Schutz, F. (1965). Sexuelle Prägung bei Anatiden 2, 3. Zeitschrift für Tierpsychologie, 22(1), 50-103.

Shepher, J. (1971). Mate selection among second generation kibbutz adolescents and adults: Incest avoidance and negative imprinting. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 1, 293-307.

Shepher, J. (1983) Incest: A biosocial view. New York, NY: Academic Press

Ten Cate, C., & Vos, D. R. (1999). Sexual imprinting and evolutionary processes. Advances in the Study of Behavior, 28, 1-31.

Vicedo, M. (2013). The nature and nurture of love. University of Chicago Press.

Wolf, A. P. (1995). Sexual attraction and childhood association: A Chinese brief for Edward Westermarck. Stanford, CA: Stanford University Press.

Imprinting of Love Attachment

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We tend to perceive people who look familiar to us as more attractive than those who look unfamiliar. This is the familiarity principle that also guides our mating, sexual preferences, and love. The phenomenon of imprinting is at the root of this basic psychological mechanism of attachment development in childhood.

The love attraction to familiar people also stems from the familiarity principle, grounded in both imprinting and mere exposure effects

Imprinting as an Attachment

Since early studies, researchers have more likely attributed imprinting to animals than to human infants, and more likely to early periods of development than to the later years of life.

Studies of infants replaced imprinting with the concept of attachment, which has been considered the foundation of love. Initially, it is the love of an infant for a caregiver, while later in life, it is the sexual (often romantic) love of a man or woman for their beloved ones.

Classical Studies of Love Attachment

Among the pioneers of these studies of love attachment were

Harlow along with his colleagues who studied infant monkeys (e.g., Harlow, 1959; Harlow & Zimmerman, 1959; Suomi et al., 2008) and Bowlby along with his colleagues who studies human babies (e.g., Ainsworth, 1989; Ainsworth, Blehar, Waters, & Wall, 1978; Bowlby, 1988/2008)

(see for detailed review, Karandashev, 2022a, Ch 3 and 7).

Modern Research of Love Attachment

Further progress in human attachment theory and research on love continued in the works of Shaver, Mikulincer, and Hazan, along with their colleagues. They developed the model of attachment based on the individualistic, middle-class concept of psychological autonomy as a cultural value (e.g., Shaver & Mikulincer , 2006; Shaver, Hazan, & Bradshaw 1988).

Heidi Keller, professor at the University of Osnabrueck, Germany, along with her colleagues, developed a new culture-sensitive model of attachment that characterized culturally different models of attachment (Keller, 2013, 2018).

Imprinting of Sexual Attraction

The studies have shown that imprinting can be associated with optimal breeding (Bateson, 1978).

However, imprinting can be both positive and negative in terms of the role such experiences play in sexual attraction.

Researchers have shown the role of early imprinting in attraction, suggesting that childhood experiences can influence sexual attraction in adulthood. The studies have demonstrated effects of imprinting on attraction

Early Love Attachment of Infants

Infants are generally open to attachment to any kind of figure in their early lives. They don’t have cultural prejudice in their attachment and love if they are exposed to racial, ethnic, and religious diversity in childhood.

Genetic similaritiy and genetic diversity also play role in love attraction and love attachment.

References

Ainsworth, M. D. S. (1989). Attachments beyond infan­cy. American Psychologist, 44, 709-716.

Ainsworth, M. D. S., Blehar, M. C., Waters, E., & Wall, S. (1978). Patterns of attachment: A psychological study of the strange situation. Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum.

Bateson, P. (1978). Sexual imprinting and optimal outbreeding. Nature, 273(5664), 659-660.

Bereczkei, T., Gyuris, P., Koves, P., & Bernath, L. (2002). Homogamy, genetic similarity, and imprinting; parental influence on mate choice preferences. Personality and Individual Differences, 33, 677-690.

Bereczkei, T., Gyuris, P., & Weisfeld, G. E. (2004). Sexual imprinting in human mate choice. Proceedings of the Royal Society of London B, 271, 1129-1134.

Bowlby, J. (1988/2008). A secure base: Parent-child attachment and healthy human development. Basic books. (Originally published in 1988).

Harlow, H. F. (1959). Love in infant monkeys. Scientific American, 200(6), 68-75.

Harlow, H. F., & Zimmermann, R. R. (1959). Affectional responses in the infant monkey. Science, 130(3373), 421-432.

Hess, E. H. (1958). ” Imprinting” in animals. Scientific American, 198(3), 81-93.

Immelmann, K. (1972). Sexual and other long-term aspects of imprinting in birds and other species. Advances in the Study of Behavior, 4, 147-174. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0065-3454(08)60009-1

Keller, H. (2013). Attachment and culture. Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology, 44(2), 175–194.

Keller, H. (2018). Universality claim of attachment theory: Children’s socioemotional development across cultures. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 115(45), 11414–11419.

Lorenz, K. (1935). Der kumpan in der umwelt des vogels. Journal für Ornithologie, 83(2), 137-213.

Moltz, H. (1960). Imprinting: Empirical basis and theoretical significance. Psychological Bulletin, 57(4), 291–314. https://doi.org/10.1037/h0041214

Shaver, P. R., & Mikulincer , M. ( 2006). Attachment theory, individual psychodynamics, and relationship functioning. In A. L. Vangelisti & D. Perlman (Eds.), The Cambridge handbook of personal relationships (pp. 251–272). New York: Cambridge University Press.

Shaver, P., Hazan, C., & Bradshaw, D. (1988). Love as attachment. In R. J. Sternberg & M. L. Barnes (Eds.), The psychology of love (p. 68–99). Yale University Press.

Suomi, S. J., Van der Horst, F. C., & Van der Veer, R. (2008). Rigorous experiments on monkey love: An account of Harry F. Harlow’s role in the history of attachment theory. Integrative Psychological and Behavioral Science, 42(4), 354-369.

Tzschentke, B., & Plagemann, A. (2006). Imprinting and critical periods in early development. World’s Poultry Science Journal, 62(4), 626-637.

Vicedo, M. (2013). The nature and nurture of love. University of Chicago Press. https://doi.org/10.7208/9780226020693

Attraction to Familiar Others

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Something familiar is frequently attractive to us, despite our interest in novelty. It is a persistent pattern of human perception and behavior, which is called the familiarity principle (Reis & Sprecher, 2009).

The principle is rooted in the mere exposure effect. We consider familiar situations, objects, actions, and people to be safe and unlikely to be harmful. People commonly like safe environments.

The Familiarity Principle in Relationships

The familiarity principle is important in interpersonal attraction to another person. “Birds of a feather tend to flock together.”

Imprinting, familiarity, and similarity use the same psychological mechanism as prototypicality. The perception of familiarity in the appearance of another person emerges due to the perception of his or her prototypicality. A prototypical person triggers attraction and desire for a relationship.

Many studies have shown that people tend to like others who look and behave familiar (e.g., Moreland & Zajonc, 1982; Peskin & Newell, 2004; Reis et all, 2011).

Familiarity breeds attraction. In general, we like the types of people who appear familiar to us. We have frequently seen them before. They have familiar physical appearances, personalities, and behavioral patterns.

This is one of the major obstacles to interracial and intercultural communication and relationships. So, men and women generally prefer to mingle among those of the same race, ethnicity, faith, and cultural background (Brooks & Neville, 2017).

Early Development of Attraction Preferences

The development of attraction preferences begins in early childhood and takes place on a subconscious level. The environment in which we grew up and the people with whom we spent a lot of time essentially affect our future preferences for boyfriends, girlfriends, and other partners in relationships. Our mother (or grandmother), father (or grandfather), and other close relatives frequently serve as templates for such preferences. The positive imprinting and repeated exposure to these people increase our attraction to them.

Sexual Imprinting in Children

The phenotype of the opposite-sex caregiver, with whom a child spent much of his or her early years, serves as a prototype for his or her future mate preference. The appearance of any person (a parent, stepparent, or another person) who raised a child for the majority of their formative years plays this role. This is called positive sexual imprinting (Bereczkei et al., 2002, 2004).

For example, researchers found that women tend to choose spouses that resemble their adoptive fathers. These findings exclude the factor of genetic similarity in favor of imprinting (Bereczkei et al., 2004).

Therefore, our early life experiences can set our mating preferences. In the future, if a man or woman resembles that prototypical person imprinted in childhood, for example, a mother or father, then this person may have a better chance of being sexually appealing. Thus, early childhood experience can shape mate preferences, even without being noticed.

As Fraley and Marks (2010, p. 1210) argued,

“beneath the surface, those early experiences are setting the stage for a set of preferences that essentially co-opt early attachment and caregiving experiences in the service of sexuality, leading people to find attractive in others features that are shared by their family members.”

Conscious and Unconscious Effects of Familiarity in Attraction

Three experimental studies have shown that the effects of familiarity and novelty on sexual attraction have different directions depending on whether the feeling of familiarity appears from conscious or unconscious sources. Their results showed that when participants were unaware of repeated exposure, the mere exposure effect increased attraction to a target person. However, when participants were aware of the repeated exposure, their attraction to the target person weakened (Fraley & Marks, 2010).

Thus, familiarity inspires sexual attraction when an individual is not aware of the origins of why another seems familiar. This potential partner may appear novel. However, this novelty is intriguing because the individual perceives in the partner something familiar that is difficult to explain.

You can also be interested in the articles:

References

Bereczkei, T., Gyuris, P., Koves, P., & Bernath, L. (2002). Homogamy, genetic similarity, and imprinting; parental influence on mate choice preferences. Personality and Individual Differences, 33, 677-690.

Bereczkei, T., Gyuris, P., & Weisfeld, G. E. (2004). Sexual imprinting in human mate choice. Proceedings of the Royal Society of London B, 271, 1129-1134.

Brooks, J. E., & Neville, H. A. (2017). Interracial attraction among college men: The influence of ideologies, familiarity, and similarity. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 34(2), 166-183.

Fraley, R. C., & Marks, M. J. (2010). Westermarck, Freud, and the incest taboo: Does familial resemblance activate sexual attraction?. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 36(9), 1202-1212.

Moreland, R. L., & Zajonc, R. B. (1982). Exposure effects in person perception: Familiarity, similarity, and attraction. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 18(5), 395-415.

Peskin, M., & Newell, F. N. (2004). Familiarity breeds attraction: Effects of exposure on the attractiveness of typical and distinctive faces. Perception, 33(2), 147-157.

Reis, H. T., Maniaci, M. R., Caprariello, P. A., Eastwick, P. W., & Finkel, E. J. (2011). Familiarity does indeed promote attraction in live interaction. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 101(3), 557–570. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0022885

Reis, H. T., & Sprecher, S. (2009). Familiarity principle of attraction. In Encyclopedia of human relationships (Vol. 1, pp. 597-597). SAGE. https://dx.doi.org/10.4135/9781412958479.n194

Genetic Diversity and Genetic Sexual Attraction

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Despite the importance of similarity in genetic sexual attraction, genetic diversity is equally important in love. It appears that both similarities and differences between love partners play important roles.

Evolutionary Value of Genetic Diversity

Genetic sexual attraction plays an important role in triggering love between men and women. However, sexual attraction for sexual reproduction also strives to avoid the negative effect of excessive genetic similarity between loving partners. Inbreeding has a deleterious biological effect on the offspring in terms of health quality, the likelihood of diseases, disabilities, and mortality (see for review, Ceballos et all, 2021; Hasselgren & Norén, 2019).

Therefore, human evolution and population growth throughout history have promoted people to exclude mates with extreme genetic similarity from the pool of possible mating partners. Such mating increases the likelihood of harmful recessive genes and reduces offspring fitness (Ceballos et all, 2021).

Cultural Evolution Encourages Diversity in Genetic Sexual Attraction

Even though consanguineous marriages—mating relations with blood relatives—have been widespread throughout history, cultural norms of incest taboos have evolved in many societies to safeguard against this harmful effect of inbreeding. People likely became aware of the harmful effect of sexual relations between close relatives on the quality of their offspring. Incest, or sex between family members, became a cultural taboo in many societies. Evolving social norms and psychological experiences of love began to respect the principles of biological evolution. They were adjusted accordingly, encouraging the extended reproduction of offspring.

A Controversy over Genetic Sexual Attraction among Family Members

Although people perceive potential mates who resemble their kin as more sexually appealing, incest avoidance evolves from the development of taboos. When awareness of the kin relationship between self and other is bypassed, relatives often look sexually appealing to a person. So, by only consciously acknowledging incest taboos, people suppress their sexual attraction to kin (Fraley & Marks, 2010).

The Benefits of Diversity in Genetic Sexual Attraction Encourage Cultural Taboos against Incest

The difference between partners in their genetics leads to healthier offspring. Therefore, natural selection—and cultural norms accordingly—developed protective psychological mechanisms to decrease the sexual drive for similarity and allow only a suitable measure of variance between partners in love relationships. This evolutionary mechanism might be at the origin of the strong incest taboo among many populations of species and human societies (Lampert 1997, p.14).

Societies in history and modern times have respected the incest taboo, prohibiting sexual relations between females and males who are in kinship relationships. Many human societies have cultural norms prohibiting sexual relations among kin (Lampert, 1997; Murdock, 1949; Westermarck, 1891/1921).

You may also be interested in the articles:

References

Ceballos, F. C., Gürün, K., Altınışık, N. E., Gemici, H. C., Karamurat, C., Koptekin, D., … & Somel, M. (2021). Human inbreeding has decreased in time through the Holocene. Current Biology, 31(17), 3925-3934.

Hasselgren, M., & Norén, K. (2019). Inbreeding in natural mammal populations: historical perspectives and future challenges. Mammal Review, 49(4), 369-383.

Fraley, R. C., & Marks, M. J. (2010). Westermarck, Freud, and the incest taboo: Does familial resemblance activate sexual attraction?. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 36(9), 1202-1212.

Lampert, A. (1997). The evolution of love. Praeger.

Murdock, G.P. (1949). Social structure. Macmillan.

Westermarck, E. (1921). The history of human marriage (5th ed.). London, UK: Allerton. (Original work published 1891).

Genetic Secrets of Love Attraction

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From a biological evolutionary perspective, the genetic similarity must be important for sexual attraction. Intersexual attraction helps sexually dimorphic animals, such as birds and mammals, select a proper mate because they cannot reproduce offspring with anyone. They can do this only with those with whom mating success is possible and higher than with others (Karp et al., 2017; McPherson & Chenoweth, 2012; Owens & Hartley, 1998; Rigby & Kulathinal, 2015).

Do People Fall in Love with Genetically Similar Others?   

For a weird example, a human individual can be attracted by a sexual relationship with a horse, cow, goat, or gorilla. They can even be a nice couple. They may attain sexual pleasure. Nevertheless, such relationships, from an evolutionary point of view, are wasteful expenditures of energy because they are destined to be childless. They are genetically too distant to produce offspring.

However, humans and chimpanzees are more similar in this regard—they have a genetic distance of less than 2%. Therefore, reproductive success in that case could be possible (Lampert 1997).

Therefore, we can expect that genetic factors and corresponding similarities in the physical appearance and chemistry of human individuals can determine their sexual and love attraction. The chemistry of love, which makes some partners more compatible with each other than others, can be real, not metaphorical.

Do we have a genetic predisposition to fall in love with someone?

Optimal Genetic Similarity

In biology, the principle of optimal genetic similarity is important for the evolutionary selection of partners among animals (Lampert 1997). Individuals tend to be attracted to others who are genetically similar to them. However, they prefer to keep their distance from those who are genetically very dissimilar from them. Both factors play their roles in the selection of mating partners with optimal genetic similarity to them.

This principle of genetic similarity may also work among humans. An individual tends to fall in love with a person who, to some extent, is genetically and physically similar. Biological evolution has developed a psychological mechanism that unconsciously attracts individuals to mates who are similar and excludes those who are significantly different. 

Why Are Genetically Similar People Sexually Attractive to Us?

Here is one piece of evidence that such an unconscious attraction is possible (Rushton, 1988). Rushton examined the thousands of court cases in which courts investigated the validity of fatherhood. Genetic testing was used to identify whether a man with whom a woman had sex was actually the father of her baby. Examining those cases, Rushton (1988) was interested in knowing how men and women, at the beginning of their sexual relationship—at the time of conceiving a baby—were genetically similar to each other. The data showed that they were genetically more similar to each other than a random couple. These results indicated that it was likely that potential mates unconsciously recognized their genetic similarity with a partner and, therefore, felt sexual attraction (Rushton, 1988).

Another study used genome-wide SNPs and also supported this genetic similarity explanation of sexual attraction. In a sample of American Whites (non-Hispanic), researchers found that married partners are genetically similar to each other—more than random pairs of individuals (Domingue, Fletcher, Conley, & Boardman, 2014).

The Words of Tentative Limitations

It shall be acknowledged, however, that these findings are descriptive and can be considered tentatively true for a causational explanation. The genetic similarity between partners can be due not only to their genetic assortative mating but also to their shared ancestry (Abdellaoui, Verweij, & Zietsch, 2014). The genetic similarities in couples can be due to genetic population stratification that evolved in a society due to geographical proximity, social homogamy, and ethnic homogamy.

Are Close Relatives More Likely to Fall in Love?

According to the findings presented above, genetically similar relatives in nuclear and extended families perceive each other as physically similar and attractive. Does the genetic similarity of close relatives make them more likely to be attractive and love each other? For example, they can perceive each other as more sexually appealing. Then, the psychoanalytic myths of a boy’s unconscious sexual attraction to his mother (the Oedipus complex) and a girl’s attraction to her father (Electra complex) can be partially true due to their genetic similarity, although the effect of imprinting can also play a role.

Many cases of consanguinity in sexual relationships and marriages have been documented throughout history. In these cases, blood relatives find each other attractive (see Karandashev, 2017, 2022 in press for a review). Consanguineous marriages are still widespread and preferred in many societies in West Asia, the Middle East, and North Africa (e.g., El-Hazmi et al., 1995; Hamamy, 2012). Surprisingly, these cultural traditions have been persistent.

However, the negative impact of incest (sexual intercourse with a child, sibling, grandchild, or parent) on offspring is well documented. Therefore, to safeguard against this harmful effect of incest, cultural norms and incest taboos have evolved in many cultures.

Other Articles of Interest on the Topic:

Genetic diversity and love attraction

Love attraction to familiar others

References

Abdellaoui, A., Verweij, K. J., & Zietsch, B. P. (2014). No evidence for genetic assortative mating beyond that due to population stratification. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 111(40), E4137-E4137.

Domingue, B. W., Fletcher, J., Conley, D., & Boardman, J. D. (2014). Genetic and educational assortative mating among US adults. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 111(22), 7996-8000.

El-Hazmi, M. A., Al-Swailem, A. R., Warsy, A. S., Al-Swailem, A. M., Sulaimani, R., & Al-Meshari, A. A. (1995). Consanguinity among the Saudi Arabian population. Journal of medical genetics, 32(8), 623-626.

Hamamy, H. (2012). Consanguineous marriages. Journal of Community Genetics, 3(3), 185-192.

Karp, N. A., Mason, J., Beaudet, A. L., Benjamini, Y., Bower, L., Braun, R. E., … & White, J. K. (2017). Prevalence of sexual dimorphism in mammalian phenotypic traits. Nature communications, 8(1), 1-12.

Lampert, A. (1997). The evolution of love. Praeger.

McPherson, F. J., & Chenoweth, P. J. (2012). Mammalian sexual dimorphism. Animal reproduction science, 131(3-4), 109-122.

Owens, I. P., & Hartley, I. R. (1998). Sexual dimorphism in birds: why are there so many different forms of dimorphism?. Proceedings of the Royal Society of London. Series B: Biological Sciences, 265(1394), 397-407.

Rushton, J.P. (1988). Genetic similarity, mate choice, and fecundity in humans. Ethology and Sociobiology, 9, 328-335.

Rigby, N., & Kulathinal, R. J. (2015). Genetic architecture of sexual dimorphism in humans. Journal of cellular physiology, 230(10), 2304-2310.

Love Power Is in the Power of Both Fire and Water

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The aid of a metaphorical lexicon help us better grasp what love is. Various Western and Eastern languages and cultures have metaphors, metonyms, and related concepts for “fire,” “heat,” and “water” that stand for the core qualities of love (see Karandashev, 2019).

Metaphors of Love as Fire and as Water

In other places, I showed many cultural examples of how the lexicon of many cultures represents the metaphor of “love as fire” in Western cultures as well as in other societies around the world. It is worth noting that these metaphors are frequently associated with metamorphic images of water.

Water is also a power of love, yet it can have different connotations. In some ways, love and relationship emotions resemble the power of water. Nevertheless, they are as powerful as water in its numerous variations. They can be like storms, like waves, like rivers, like the great flood. For example, when we are overwhelmed by feelings, we experience emotional flooding, either in a positive way (feeling elation and euphoria) or a negative way (feeling anxiety and frustration).

  • “Looking at her, I was flooded by love”.
  • “Waves of passion came over me”. 

or

  • “He swept me off my feet”.
  • “I was carried away by love”.

Jane Eyre: Love Torn Between Fire and Water

The English Victorian culture of 19th century, however, presents a different example of Western cultural views on the metaphors of love-as-fire and love-as-water. “Jane Eyre” (Brontë, 1847/2008)- the novel of Charlotte Brontë beautifully exemplifies this cultural idea of that time. The fire-water image symbolizes the key points of the novel: love finds a golden middle way between the flames of passion and the waters of reason.

“She re-awakens the glow of their love, and their two natures join in a steady flame that burns neither as wildly as the lightning that destroyed the chestnut, nor as dimly as the setting sun of St. John Rivers’ religious dream”

(Solomon, 1963, p. 217).

The wildly passionate appeal of romantic love goes along with control (Imlay, 1993; Solomon, 1963)

Love as Fire and Water in Eastern Cultures

Water and fire metaphors also represent love in Eastern cultures. For instance, the Indian tradition embodies love in the metaphor of heat that commonly represents the power of fire and power of water:

Swept away by rivers of love

(swelling floods of their desire)

Torrents dammed by their elders

(propriety of all parents require)

Close they stand, anxious but still

(hiding passions, restraining sights)

Lovers drink nectars from the blossoms

(the love that pours from the lotus eyes).

Amaruśataka, a collection of Sanskrit erotic lyrical poems (cited by Siegel, 1983).

Eastern Cultural Representations of Love as Water

In India, love is widely represented in the context of water in Hindi films, television dramas, and songs. They follow the aesthetic traditions evolved in Sanskrit/ Hindi and Urdu poetry and art (Dwyer 2006, p. 294). In the Hindi films, romance and love are portrayed in a paradise setting: parks, gardens, mountains, and valleys: “a whole set of visual codes (landscape, setting, physical appearance, costume, symbols, and so on) as well as those of the language itself, a blend of registers of Hindi, Urdu, and English.” (Dwyer & Patel, 2002, pp. 55–59).

The romantic eroticism of water is portrayed by beautiful rivers, waterfalls, mountainous areas, and tropical beaches of paradise. Many episodes of films depict the fantastic places that create private spaces for romantic couples, where they are away from their family that can control their personal lives, love, romance, and marriage.

Islamic island culture in the Maldives is different from Hindu culture. Nevertheless, Maldivian video clips resemble the way love and eroticism are presented in Indian films and music. These video clips, on the other hand, frequently place love in the beauty of the Maldivian landscape. They portray the turquoise water, the swaying palm trees, and the white sand beaches of the islands (Fulu 2014).

Questions for thought:

Do you know any other metaphors about love as water?

How are the relation of fire and water represented in those metaphor?

Do other languages and cultures have similar or different metaphors about love as water?

You may also be interested in the articles:

Where do you feel your love?

Love as a natural force

Body metaphors of emotions across cultures

Love-as-fire across European and North American cultures

References

Brontë, C. (1847/2008). Jane Eyre. Oxford University Press.

Dwyer, R. (2006). Kiss or tell: Declaring love in Hindi films. In F. Orsini (Ed.), Love in South Asia (pp. 289–302). Cambridge, UK: Cambridge University Press.

Dwyer, R., & Patel, D. (2002). Cinema India: The visual culture of Hindi film. London, UK: Reaktion Books.

Fulu, E. (2014). Domestic violence in Asia: Globalization, gender, and Islam in the Maldives. London, UK: Routledge.

Imlay, E. (1993). Charlotte Brontë and the mysteries of love: myth and allegory in Jane Eyre. Parapress Limited.

Siegel, L. (1983). Fires of love, waters of peace: Passion and renunciation in Indian Culture. Honolulu: University of Hawaii Press.

Solomon, E. (1963). Jane Eyre: Fire and Water. College English, 25(3), 215-217.

Cultures Across the World Regard Love as Fire

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A metaphoric lexicon helps us better understand what love is. In many languages, the metaphors, metonyms, and related concepts of “fire” and “heat” represent the strong passion of love (see Karandashev, 2019).

The metaphors of “love as fire are among the most representative in English (Kövecses, 1990), for instance, in such a saying as “My heart is on fire.”

This type of metaphor, which compares love to hot and powerful forces like fire, is common in North American and many European languages. According to cross-cultural lexical studies, metaphors of “love as fire” are common not only in Western American and European cultural contexts, but also in many other cultures around the world.

Biological nature of love as heat and fire

The metaphors of fire, heat, hot represent the intensity of love in many European and North American cultures (see for review, Karandashev, 2019).

Seemingly universal lexical expressions of passion and the fire of love across languages and cultures have biological roots in the natural forces of the body. The psycho-physiological arousal that people experience when they are in passionate love determines this feeling of body heat. The rising body temperature, flushed and blushed cheeks, sweating palms, and a racing heart manifest body sensations resembling a burning fire. It is the warm feelings like being drunk. The release of such brain chemicals as adrenaline, dopamine, vasopressin, and oxytocin causes men and women to experience the sensations of euphoria and passionate love feelings.

Cultural variances in the metaphoric lexicon of love as fire

Conceptual metaphors reflect the variable intensity and concomitant experiences of love, from obsession to strong passion to moderate passion to affection. This experience varies according to the type of personality as well as cultural differences between people.

For example, Americans have the culturally normative extroverted character, while Chinese have the culturally normative introverted character. These cultural differences certainly effect how people in the two cultures normatively experience love.

The metaphor “love as fire” is more typical for English. The metaphor “love as  silk” is more typical of the Chinese love lexicon. The American, British, and French people speak about love differently—with great excitement and passion, while the Chinese speak about it tactfully and indirectly (Lv & Zhang, 2012).

The Love Metaphors of “Fire-as-Heat” and “Love-as-Light“

(see also Body metaphors of emotions across cultures)

“Fire” can symbolize not only the heat of passionate love but also the light that love brings to people. Love often makes a person’s life brighter, more joyful, and more meaningful. Here are two cultural representations of love expressed through the metaphors of fireworks and fireflies.

“Love-as-Light” in Chinese Culture

The metaphor of a “firework of love” is typical in Chinese but not in English (Chang & Li, 2006).

  • In Chinese, “Love is like fireworks. It is beautiful but does not last long” (ài qíng jiù xiàng yàn huǒ, duǎn zàn ér měi lì).
  • In English, the decrease of love intensity is expressed as “the fiery passion died down and gave way to warm affection” or “the old-time fire is gone.”

Thus, these cultures conceptualize differently the disappearance of love fire over time.

“Love-as-Light” in Japanese Culture

The similar glowing connotation of passionate love is known in Japan as the metaphor of fireflies, -“hotaru” (Namiko Abe). It has been a beloved metaphor for passionate love in Japanese poetry for centuries. “Hotaru” are like stars that came from the heavens to the earth.

“Love-as-Light” in Persian Culture

In the Persian language, the metaphor of fire in love can be illustrated by a contemporary Persian poem by Fereydoon Moshiri:

عشق تو بسم بود، که این شعله ی بیدار

روشن گر شب های بلند قفسم بود

“Your love was enough for me, for this wakeful flame (of fire)

enlightened my long nights in the cage”

Romantic vibe of candle lights and bonfires

The popularity of bonfires and candle lights associated with romantic relationships is another illustration of the metaphorical significance of fire in love. Across many cultures, these images of fire are conducive to romantic love. Candlelight has brought people light in life and spirit for centuries, until the invention of electric bulbs.

Since the middle of the 20th century, candles have become popular in secular life again—this time for other purposes. During the 1980s and 1990s, people in Western cultures began to use candles for decoration, creating a relaxing ambiance in their homes. The tradition became popular for romantic dinners with loved ones. Nowadays, a candle-lit dinner for two is a cultural stereotype in many Western cultures. The flickering and soft glow of candle flames is excellent for igniting the fires of amour. 

Questions for thought:

Do you know any other metaphors about love as fire, hear, and light?

Do other languages and cultures have similar or different metaphors about love as fire, heat, and light?

You may also be interested in the articles:

Where do you feel your love?

Love as a natural force

Body metaphors of emotions across cultures

Love-as-fire across European and North American cultures

Love Is Hot as Fire: European and North American Cultures

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Metaphors, metonyms, and related concepts enrich and deepen our understanding and experience of love. Many languages and cultures use various metaphorical expressions of love (Kövecses, 1988; Kövecses,2003).

In many European and North American cultures, love is compared to fire, a hot and powerful force.

Love as fire

Passionate love is among the most salient cultural stereotypes of love in public opinion across many societies. And the metaphors of “fire” and “heat” widely and vividly represent this passionate intensity of love in many languages (see Karandashev, 2019). Among English expressions are the metaphors for heat, hot, and fire. “My heart is on fire.” “I felt hot all over when I saw her.” “Her look kindled love in my heart.” “I love you,” he whispered in the heat of passion. “I am burning with love.” “She didn’t want to get burned again.” “She is his latest flame.” Other metaphors are less hot, but rather warm. “I just melted when she looked at me.” “She felt warm all over when her husband came home from work.”

Fire of sexual desire

Metaphors of heat frequently communicate lust. Being “hot” means being sexually attractive or sexually desirable. The heat metaphors express strong sexual desire and sexual attraction, like in these expressions: “he is consumed by desire,” “she is hot stuff,” “he is an old flame,” “he is cold to her.”

My heart is on fire of love

The conceptual metaphor “my heart is on fire” (Kövecses, 1990) embodies the intensity of love in the English emotion lexicon. The similar metaphorical concepts of heat and fire are present in the lexicons of other languages, representing other cultural contexts. Here are some examples

  • in German, “Ich brenne mit dem Feuer der Liebe” (I am burning with the fire of love),
  • in French, “Mon coeur brule d’amour” (my heart burns with love),
  • in Russian “Любовь сжигает тебя” (lubov sjigaet tebia, love burns you),
  • in Greek “Όλο το σώμα μου καίει από τη φωτιά της αγάπης” (all my body burns from the fire of love),
  • in Portuguese “O amor é um fogo que arde sem se ver” (Love is a fire that burns without seeing itself),
  • in Turkish “O, aşk ateşi ile yanıyordu” (he was burning with love fire),
  • in Albanian “I gjithe trupi me digjet nga zjarri i dashurise” (the whole body burned with the fire of love),
  • in Slovene, “Gorel je od ljubezni” (he was burning with love).

Fire as intensity of love

The various metaphors of fire, heat, and warmth represent the intensity of emotional experience. They figuratively communicate the qualities of

  • how love begins – love sparking, igniting love,
  • how love evolves – burning love, flickering flame, glowing with love,
  • how love ends –love burnt out, extinguishing flame of love.   

For instance, as German proverbs say:

  • “Wer ins Feuer bläst, dem stieben die Funken in die Augen” (He who blows on the fire will get sparks in his eyes),
  • “Feuer im Herzen bringt Rauch in den Kopf “(Fire in the heart sends smoke into the head),
  • “Die Liebe ist wie ein Feuer, wenn man nicht ab und zu etwas nachlegt, geht es aus” (Love is fire, if it once goes out, is hard to kindle).

The Spanish word “fuego” means “fire” as well as “passion.” Corresponding metaphoric expressions of love are:

“Hay un fuego empezando en mi corazón. Creo que estoy enamorado” (There is a fire starting in my heart. I think I am in love.)

“El fuego del amor no disminuirá” (The fire of love will never burn down).

Questions for thought:

Do you know any other metaphors for love as fire?

Do other languages and cultures have metaphors for love as fire that are similar or dissimilar? 

You may also be interested in the articles:

Where do you feel your love?

Love as a natural force

Body metaphors of emotions across cultures