Category Archives: cultural evolution

The Primitive Courtships of Savages

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Courtship and dating were modern rituals that enabled men and women to choose a mate or partner for marriage and family life (Karandashev, 2017). Sometimes, one may think that these marital practices have always been this way. So, it may be curiously fascinating to learn what love, courting, and sexual relationships looked like among primitive savages of the past.

Cultural anthropology made enormous strides in the 19th and 20th centuries in studying sex, marriage, and love in remote tribal tribes (see for review, Karandashev, 2017, 2019). Let us look into the old archives of love studies from the 19th century. They depict an intriguing history that can be helpful for love scholarship nowadays.

In the previous articles, I briefly showed what savage love was and what the practices of “wife-capture” were in the past centuries.

Here I summarize four courtship practices, which were widespread among various tribes of savages in various primitive cultures of the past. I use the old archival treasures of love scholarship (Finck, 1887/2019).

Four Types of Courtship among Savages

Romantic love and romantic relationships are primarily associated in modern scholarship with the courtship period of relationships. So, it is interesting to see what kind of opportunities for courtship the old primitive societies provided. The anthropologists of the 19th century discovered among semi-civilized people and savages four grades of courtship: “Capture”, “Elopement”, “Purchase”, and “Service”. Henry Finck briefly examined these types of courtship (Finck, 1887/2019). Let us consider these largely widespread courtship practices of the past.

The “Capture” Type of Courtship

According to this tradition, a man who wants a bride must steal or buy her from another tribe. He could not marry privately within his own tribe. Women, like other forms of property, were owned in common by the community. So, no man could take a woman for himself without overstepping someone else’s rights. However, if he stole a woman from another tribe, she became his exclusive property.

This primitive style of courtship was far ruder than animal courtship. If the woman resisted, the man knocked her on the head and dragged to his captor’s tent. A man who captured a woman from another tribe had a right to guard her and appear with pride of conquest. The primitive man’s pride was like that of a warrior with many scalps in his belt. Marriage follows capture. Rather than love, feelings of conjugal sentiments prevailed in this case (1887/2019, Finck).

Primitive people on all five continents used these “capture-wife” courtship practices for hundreds of years.

The “Elopement” Type of Courtship

“Wife-capture” was still present in many societies in the 19th and 20th centuries in the form of “elopement.” This happens when the parents oppose the young men and women’s choice. It is still widely practiced, even when all parties involved consent. These traditions of “sudden flight” and an impulsive marriage enhance the romantic flavor of the honeymoon. Additionally, this lets the newlyweds escape the awkward formalities and routine rituals of the wedding day.

The “Purchase” Type of Courtship

This kind of courtship is a substantially more civilized form of courtship. It is a somewhat higher evolutionary stage of courtship compared to “capture.” This “purchase” custom came in two different grades.

“In the first the girl has no choice whatever, but is sold by her father for so many cows or camels, in some cases to the highest bidder. Among the Turcomans a wife may be purchased for five camels if she be a girl, or for fifty if a widow; whereas among the Tunguse a girl costs one to twenty reindeer, while widows are considerably cheaper. In the second class of cases the purchased girl is allowed a certain degree of liberty of choice.”

(Finck, 1887/2019, p. 59).

This type of marriage formation has existed for centuries among the peoples of the five continents. It was still retained in some remote tribal societies until recent times. Many “modern” day money-marriages of the 19th and 20th centuries could be called this way.

The “Service” Type of Courtship

This kind of courtship is the custom of getting a wife in exchange for services rendered to her parents. The Henry Finck quote of Mr. Spencer’s remarks well illustrates this type of courtship:

“The practice which Hebrew tradition acquaints us with in the case of Jacob, proves to be a widely-diffused practice. It is general with the Bhils, Ghonds, and Hill tribes of Nepaul; it obtained in Java before Mahometanism was introduced; it was common in ancient Peru and Central America; and among sundry existing American races it still occurs. Obviously, a wife long laboured for is likely to be more valued than one stolen or bought. Obviously, too, the period of service, during which the betrothed girl is looked upon as a future spouse, affords room for the growth of some feeling higher than the merely instinctive—initiates something approaching to the courtship and engagement of civilised peoples.”

(Finck, 1887/2019, p. 59).

“Capture” Type of Courtship Among Savages

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Anthropologists have always been interested in whether savage people experienced love and what kinds of courtship practices and sexual relationships they had.

In the 20th century, the studies of love in many remote tribal societies around the world have made a great progress thanks to cultural anthropology (see for review, Karandashev, 2017, 2019). However, we still don’t know much about how people lived, loved, and married in societies before modern civilizations.

Unfortunately, we don’t have much access to the evidence from past centuries. Yet, we are getting farther and farther away from the time when people lived like savages. Because of this, the fact that old archives of studies about love from the past are available is very helpful for love scholarship today. In the previous article, I briefly presented what kind of love was among savages of the past centuries.

Here we talk about courtship practices among savages, retrieved from the old archival treasures of love scholarship (Finck, 1887/2019).

What Were the Courtship Practices among Savages?

In the previous article, I cited several scholars of the past who contended that love was an unknown emotional experience for uncivilized savages. Nevertheless, it would be wrong to say that love didn’t exist at all among savages based on what some of the experts talked about. On the contrary, some “overtones” of love appeared from time to time in anthropological observations and travelers’ notes. Some of them provided arguments and indications that primitive people of the past might experience love.

Savage Love in Folklore

The folklore of the past centuries held legends and poems with love stories. For example, Theodor Waitz, a philosophy professor at the University of Marburg, studied romantic love among North Americans and other primitive peoples in the 19th century. He discovered in those primitive societies the legends of Lovers’ Leaps and Maiden Rocks, and a poem telling the story of a South American maiden who committed suicide on her lover’s grave. She did so to avoid falling into the hands of the Spaniards. (Finck, 1887/2019, Waitz, 1863)

Such legends and poems cannot be counted as scientific evidence of what primitive people of the past experienced in their lives.

Savage Love in Life

Savages of the past in some tribal societies and cultural contexts of the world might experience and express emotions and actions that resemble “love.”

For example, “mischievous amourettes sometimes do flit across the field of vision. For the goddess of Love is ever watchful of an opportunity for one of her emissaries to bag some game.” (Finck, 1887/2019, p. 57).

We should admit, however, that full-fledged cupids might never appear with their poisoned arrows in primitive cultures.

Modern scholarship commonly associates romantic relationships with courtship. It’s interesting to see how old primitive tribes handled courtship.

What Was the “Capture” Type of Courtship? The “capture” was the widely prevalent custom of exogamy, or marrying out. It is a curious feature of savage life.

“This custom compels a man who wishes a wife of his own to steal or purchase her of another tribe, private marriage within his own tribe being considered criminal and even punishable with death.”

(Finck, 1887/2019, p. 57).

This rule of exogamy might be the origin of monogamy:

“Women were at first, like other kinds of property, held in common by the tribe, any man being any woman’s husband ad libitum. No man could therefore claim a woman for himself without infringing on the rights of others. But if he stole a woman from another tribe, she became his exclusive property, which he had a right to guard jealously, and to look upon with the Pride of Conquest—a pride, however, quite distinct from that which intoxicates a civilised lover when he finds, or fondly imagines, that his goddess has chosen him among all his rivals. The primitive man’s pride is more like that of the warrior who wears a large number of scalps in his belt; and as in his case marriage immediately follows Capture, this feeling, moreover, belongs more properly to the sphere of conjugal sentiment than to that of Love.”

(Finck, 1887/2019, p. 57).

From this description, one can see that this primitive form of courtship is much ruder than that which prevails in the animal kingdom. Among animals, the males alone maltreat one another. In this early human form of courtship, if the woman resists, she is “simply knocked on the head, and her senseless body carried off to the captor’s tent.” (Finck, 1887/2019, p. 57).

Three Examples of the “Wife-capture” Courtship

Diefenbach, Tylor, and Waitz described their anthropological examples of this practice (quoted in Finck, 1887/2019, p. 57).

Diefenbach wrote about Polynesians:

“If a girl was courted by two suitors, each of them grasped one arm of the beloved and pulled her toward him; the stronger one got her, but in some cases not before her limbs had been pulled out of joint.”

Tylor wrote about the fierce forest tribes in Brazil:

“Ancient tradition knows this practice well, as where the men of Benjamin carry off the daughters of Shiloh dancing at the feast, and in the famous Roman tale of the rape of the Sabines, a legend putting in historical form the wife-capture which in Roman custom remained as a ceremony. What most clearly shows what a recognised old-world custom it was, is its being thus kept up as a formality where milder manners really prevailed. It had passed into this state among the Spartans, when Plutarch says that though the marriage was really by friendly settlement between the families, the bridegroom’s friends went through the pretence of carrying off the bride by violence. Within a few generations the same old habit was kept up in Wales, where the bridegroom and his friends, mounted and armed as for war, carried off the bride; and in Ireland they used even to hurl spears at the bride’s people, though at such a distance that no one was hurt, except now and then by accident, as happened when one Lord Howth lost an eye, which mischance seems to have put an end to this curious relic of antiquity.”

Waitz commented that

“the girls were commonly abducted by force, which led frequently to most violent fights, in which the girl herself was occasionally wounded, or even killed, to prevent her from falling into the hands of the enemy.”

The Historically Later Forms of “Wife-capture”

As Henry Finck noted, in the advanced age of the 19th century, “elopement” became the name for the modified form of “wife-capture.”

“When the parents dissent and the couple are very young, this climax of courtship doubtless is often reprehensible. But in those cases where the consent of all parties has been obtained, it ought to be universally adopted. Sudden flight and an impromptu marriage would add much to the romance of the honeymoon, and would enable the bridal couple to avoid the terrors and stupid formalities of the wedding-day, the anticipation of which is doubtless responsible for the ever-increasing number of cowardly bachelors in the world.”

(Finck, 1887/2019, p. 58).

Love among Savages

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The questions of great anthropological interest are whether the savages of the old times loved; what kind of love and sexual relations they had; and how they loved each other.

Cultural anthropology of the 20th century has made tremendous progress in the study of love in many remote tribal societies of the world (Karandashev, 2017, 2019). Despite these great advances, we still have limited knowledge of how people in societies without the influence of modern civilizations lived and loved.

We have especially limited access to the knowledge of the previous centuries. The old times of savages have been increasingly disappearing from our reach. So, the availability of the old archives of love studies from the past is especially precious.

Let us explore those old archival treasures of love scholarship (Finck, 1887/2019).

Who Are Those Strangers to Love?

Here are some of the interesting evolutionary observations of Henry Finck:

“In passing from animals to human beings we find at first not only no advance in the sexual relations, but a decided retrogression. Among some species of birds, courtship and marriage are infinitely more refined and noble than among the lowest savages; and it is especially in their treatment of females, both before and after mating, that not only birds but all animals show an immense superiority over primitive man; for male animals only fight among themselves, and never maltreat the females.”

(Finck, 1887/2019, p. 55).

The Surprising Evolutionary Anomaly in the Sexual Relations of Savages

The author explained this evolutionary anomaly in sexual relations in the following way:

“The intellectual power and emotional horizon of animals are limited; but in those directions in which Natural Selection has made them specialists, they reach a high degree of development, because inherited experience tends to give to their actions an instinctive or quasi-instinctive precision and certainty. Among primitive men, on the other hand, reason begins to encroach more on instinct, but yet in such a feeble way as to make constant blunders inevitable: thus proving that strong instincts, combined with a limited intellectual plasticity, are a safer guide in life than a more plastic but weak intellect minus the assistance of stereotyped instincts.”

(Finck, 1887/2019, p. 55).

What about Romantic Love of Savages?

According to anthropological observations from those times, the sexual relations and emotional life of savages were too crude to be called “romantic”:

“If neither intellect nor instinct guide the primitive man to well-regulated marital relations, such as we find among many animals, so again his emotional life is too crude and limited to allow any scope for the domestic affections. Inasmuch as, according to Sir John Lubbock, gratitude, mercy, pity, chastity, forgiveness, humility, are ideas or feelings unknown to many or most savage tribes, we should naturally expect that such a highly-compounded and ethereal feeling as Romantic Love could not exist among them. How could Love dwell in the heart of a savage who baits a fish-hook with the flesh of a child; who eats his wife when she has lost her beauty and the muscular power which enabled her to do all his hard work; who abandons his aged parents, or kills them, and whose greatest delight in life is to kill an enemy slowly amid the most diabolic tortures?”

(Finck, 1887/2019, p. 55).

Were These Romantic Courtships?

As it appears, romantic relationships among savages were not very romantic:

“Or how could a primitive girl love a man whose courtship consists in knocking her on the head and carrying her forcibly from her own to his tribe? A man who, after a very brief period of caresses, neglects her, takes perhaps another and younger wife, and reduces the first one to the condition of a slave, refusing to let her eat at his table, throwing her bones and remains, as to a dog, or even driving her away and killing her, if she displeases him? These are extreme cases, but they are not rare; and in a slightly modified form they are found throughout savagedom.”

(Finck, 1887/2019, p. 56).

The Sentiments of Love Appeared to Be Unknown by Savages

Henry Finck concluded that “Love” was a sentiment unknown to savages. And it was often mentioned in the works of anthropologists and tourists of the 19th century. He cited several observations and comments on this. Here are some of them.

When Ploss remarks that the lowest savages “know as little about marriage relations as animals; still less do they know the feeling we call Love,” he did a great injustice to animals.

As the sociologist Letourneau remarked: “Among the Cafres Cousas, according to Lichtenstein, the sentiment of love does not constitute a part of marriage.”

In speaking of a tribe of the Gabon, Du Chaillu wrote, “The idea of love, as we understand it, appears to be unknown to this tribe.”

Speaking of the polygamous tribes of Africa, Monteiro wrote:

“The negro knows not love, affection, or jealousy…. In all the long years I have been in Africa I have never seen a negro manifest the least tenderness for or to a negress…. I have never seen a negro put his arm round a woman’s waist, or give or receive any caress whatever that would indicate the slightest loving regard or affection on either side. They have no words or expressions in their language indicative of affection or love.”

(cited in Finck, 1887/2019, p. 56).

Spencer commented on this passage, “This testimony harmonises with testimonies cited by Sir John Lubbock, to the effect

  • that the Hottentots “are so cold and indifferent to one another that you would think there was no such thing as love between them”;
  • that among the Koussa Kaffirs there is “no feeling of love in marriage”;
  • that in Yariba, “a man thinks as little of taking a wife as of cutting an ear of corn—affection is altogether out of the question.” (cited in Finck, 1887/2019, p. 56).

A Couple of Words in Evidence of Love among Savages of the Past

Winwood Reade suggested an alternative view on savage love. He wrote to Darwin that the West Africans

“are quite capable of falling in love, and of forming tender, passionate, and faithful attachments.”

The anthropologist Waitz, speaking of Polynesia, wrote that

“examples of real passionate love are not rare, and on the Fiji Islands it has happened that individuals married against their will have committed suicide; although this has only happened in the higher classes.”

As Henry Finck noted,

“in these cases we are left in doubt as to whether the reference is to Conjugal or to Romantic Love; conjugal attachment, being of earlier growth than Romantic Love, because the development of the latter was retarded by the limited opportunities for prolonged Courtship and free Choice.”

(Finck, 1887/2019, p. 56).

How Nigerian Education Changed Love in West Africa in the First Half of the 20th Century

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The cultural evolution of love in West Africa in the first half of the 20th century occurred. The increasing urbanization of society and its major cities, such as Lagos, Ibadan, Onitsha, Port Harcourt, and other southern Nigerian cities, and their transformation into first-class colonial urban centers supported this cultural transformation.

The concurrent rise in literacy among many Nigerians came along with it. The interest in Western education was growing in the country and region. Many young people moved to southern Nigeria’s cities in pursuit of education. Only a few of them returned home to become farmers. Metropolises offered modern amenities that suited their new lifestyle. From the 1920s to the 1950s, the number of southern Nigerians with post-secondary education grew by a lot (Fafunwa, 1974).

The enhanced English literacy increased newspaper reading and allowed Nigerians to express themselves. This new cultural climate made the West African literary culture of love more romantic.

Saheed Aderinto, a Nigerian American professor of history, published a recent article on how literary culture and romantic love were represented in colonial Nigerian print media (Aderinto, 2015). During the first half of the 20th century, the author says, Nigerians began to look at love as a historical and biocultural construct.

How Nigerian Newspapers of Colonial Times Changed African Views of Love

In his article, Professor Aderinto shows how the modernization of love in Nigeria took place among the literate Nigerians, the so-called aspiring sub-elites.

The Nigerian newspapers were a place where educated people expressed various opinions and views. The readers joined to discuss new concepts about life, modern relationships, families, and love. Columnists express their advice in the advice columns. And readers also became a real network for expressing their opinions. In a comparative perspective, they discussed the evolving conventions of love, sex, and marriage (Aderinto, 2015).

The Nigerian “Miss Silva” and Her “Milady’s Bower”

Looking at the colonial Nigerian newspapers of the first half of the 20th century, Saheed Aderinto focused on the women’s column titled “Milady’s Bower,” published by Nnamdi Azikiwe’s West African Pilot. The editor of the column, with the pseudonym “Miss Silva,” authored from 1937 to the 1950s articles on several issues of relationships. She also gave advice to lovers. In that column, she published unedited letters from pseudonymous or anonymous readers who mostly respected her opinions on topics. The column’s audience enjoyed reading the materials of anonymous authors. They also appreciated anonymity because it gave them an opportunity to express their thoughts and feelings about some controversial matters without the risk of public sanction for such expressions.

Among the major audience for this column was the urban youth of southern Nigeria’s major cities, largely single young men and women. The ideas of modern love relationships expressed by newspapers’ readers were often in controversy with the traditional African-style patriarchy and the established norms of gender relations (Aderinto, 2015).

Nigerian Discussion of New Gender Roles

The gender roles depicted in the column were modern rather than traditional. The modern girl was portrayed as an educated and working person. She would have strong emotional and bodily autonomy. The modern boy was portrayed as a “clean,” polite, and disciplined gentleman who was committed to a relationship. In courtship relationships, a lady would be regarded in terms of socioeconomic status as an equal person. The assumption of gender equality was evident in all urban settings, such as dance halls, movie theaters, and others. Advocates of modern love believed that the way men and women were involved in courtship would have a strong impact on their marriage. This Nigerian cultural model, which was talked about in newspaper advice columns, was similar to how North America and Europe’s love cultures were changing at that time.

What Was “Modern Love” for Nigerians?

The Nigerian newspapers highlighted an enduring generational conflict between the old and new generations of women and men. The publications affirmed modern love as abandoning traditional relationships as “boring.” (Aderinto, 2015)

Their “modern love” evidently included the ideas of individualism in relationships. The newspapers advised that love was a personal matter and that the passion and wish of a person for independence and happiness should guide them in love. The idea that love is a personal matter was revolutionary for that historical period in Nigeria. This idea contradicted traditional practices in which parents, family, and the community could moderate many aspects of a relationship, such as betrothal, courtship, or resolution of marital conflict.

The Cultural Evolution of Love in West Africa in the First Half of the 20th Century

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The transformation of Lagos, Ibadan, Onitsha, Port Harcourt, and other southern Nigerian cities into first-class colonial urban centers, along with the concomitant rise in literacy among many people, was essential to the cultural evolution of love in West Africa.

Growing Interest in Education Among Nigerians

Starting in the 1920s, colonialists’ growing interest in Western education increased school attendance. The elitist colonial education culture of the 19th and early 20th centuries gave way to a “populist” one. From the 1920s through the 1950s, the number of southern Nigerians with post-secondary education increased dramatically (Fafunwa, 1974).

The majority of educated young people had relocated to southern Nigeria’s big cities in search of education and salaried work. Few would return home to become farmers. Agricultural employment was paid less than government and private sector positions in cities. Besides, metropolitan centers provided modern amenities that suited their new preferred lifestyle.

The expansion of English literacy among the population had two effects. On the one hand, it increased newspaper readership. On the other hand, it allowed Nigerians to express their own views on life. That new cultural climate was ready to modernize West African love into a romantic passion (Aderinto, 2015).

Nigerian Courtship in the First Half of the 20th Century

During the colonial times of the first half of the 20th century, a variety of old and new cultural norms and practices took place in West Africa. They varied among people of different ethnicities and rural and urban residences.

In Nigerian society, both precolonial courtship culture and colonial courtship customs were practiced. This kind of transition caused a lot of tension and conflict, which urban youth tried to work out through arguments in the pages of newspapers and other print media.

The old traditional supervised courtship of the precolonial type was still common in many African tribes. For example, courtship among the Yoruba people of Nigeria, Benin, and Togo in West Africa came under strong communal supervision.

Parents and the community made sure that a prospective groom and bride would have limited contact before the full marriage rites were completed. That would prevent premarital sexual intercourse, which cultural norms of the Yoruba frown upon. The regulation of courtship did not allow a betrothed girl to meet her fiancé and his family without hiding her face by veiling.

Freedom of Courtship in Nigerian Cities

However, courtship in the cities was largely unregulated. A man and a woman had a certain freedom in their relationships. The freedom to choose a partner was an essential cultural option for young men and women in courtship in colonial urban contexts. It was a romance culture as opposed to the betrothal culture prevalent in the past. Some young men and women dared to choose a prospective bride or groom without their parents’ consent. Courting outside their immediate ethnicity and local community defied established ethnic and socioeconomic rules. If young men and women would court without their parents’ permission, they could not consummate their marriage (Aderinto, 2015).

Those young people whose courtship was not approved by their parents had a significant obstacle and came to the dilemma of split affections. Even though their parents wouldn’t accept their relationship, some men and women were still in love with their ex-partners.

Reading and Thinking About Love in Colonial Nigeria

During the first half of the twentieth century, the literate Nigerians largely living in cities were the aspiring sub-elites, interested in reading books and print media about many things, including families as important institutions of society.

Courtship, relationships, and modern love emerged in Nigerian print media and other public discourses. The public discussion of the concept of contemporary love and how people form relationships had a big impact on broader themes of nation-building and Nigerian social advancement. The modernization of love and family occurred in the minds of literate and educated Nigerians. Love was rethought by men and women as a modern historical and cultural concept (Aderinto, 2015).

The Challenges of Love Marriages for African Men and Women

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In the second half of the 20th century, social and economic modernization transformed traditional African marriages. Urbanization and social mobility were key contributors. Many young men and women moved to the cities. The new labor market and many new urban jobs superseded the importance of traditional rural labor and established family roles. Education significantly influenced this social and cultural shift. For many people, these societal dynamics were destroying a tribal, kinship-based communal framework of living.

The Evolution of African Marriages in the Second Half of the 20th Century

The transformations in many African societies, especially in urban areas, have changed how people view gender, marriage, and families. They modified mate-selecting and marriage practices. Families’ power to influence and manage their children’s marriages and relationships deteriorated.

The evolution of African marriage was difficult. Western norms of individualism were replacing rural stereotypes and mores. Men and women in African cities frequently struggled between collectivism and individualism. They could feel bad if they rejected family, but they’d be frustrated if they let their family members impose the old conventions on their lives.

Once again, geographical and cultural, rural and urban differences in these changes in relationships and marriages varied across the huge cultural diversity of the African continent.

The Changing Value of Individual Choice in Marriages

For instance, in many parts of West Africa, individual choice in mate choice has become socially acceptable only lately. This new opportunity became more affordable first among wealthy and educated men and women in metropolitan areas. Increasingly, they relied on their romantic love feelings in the selection of a spouse (Little & Price, 1973).

According to studies, African men and women across many countries also gradually came to prefer deciding who to marry based on their love feelings (Mair 1969; Little 1979; Smith, 2001; van der Vliet 1991). Romantic love became a criterion for mate selection.

Its significance and prevalence also increased in marital relationships. Companionship love became more common for some African couples. Here is an excellent illustration of modern African love:

“Chinyere Nwankwo met her husband Ike in the town of Owerri in southeastern Nigeria, where she attended a teacher’s college after completing secondary school in her village community. Ike was eight years her senior and a building contractor successful enough to own a used car, a prized symbol of wealth and success. On their first date he took her to the disco at the Concorde Hotel, at that time the fanciest in town. In addition to being educated, Chinyere was a beautiful young woman and consequently had many suitors. Her courtship with Ike lasted almost two years. During that time they often dined out and went dancing together. Among the more memorable events of their courtship were a weekend outing to the Nike Lake resort near Enugu and a trip to Lagos during which they attended a performance by Fela Ransome-Kuti, a famous Nigerian musician. During their courtship, each bought the other birthday cards, and for Ike’s birthday, Chinyere baked a cake. They went to many social events together and acknowledged to their peers that they were a couple. Not long into their courtship, Chinyere and Ike began sleeping together. Prior to approaching Chinyere’s people and his own family about their getting married, Ike proposed to Chinyere. They agreed together to get married and then began the process of including their families.”

(Smith, 2001, p.134)

Ike and Chinyere both said that they decided to marry because they had fallen in love.

Differences Between “Love for Marriage” and “Love in Marriage”

The two different tendencies are still present in African family relations. One is the changing cultural attitudes toward the value of individual choice and love in courtship. “Love for marriage” is more acceptable now than before. Another is the conservative attitude toward the value of companionate love between wife and husband, while the extended family is still of high value. Spousal “love in marriage” faced difficulties because it contradicted the high priority of “extended family love.”

Modern ways of African courtship tend to prioritize human relationships, interpersonal intimacy, and gestures of love. It gradually adopts a gender-neutral gender dynamic.

Nonetheless, the daily life of marriage and relationships between spouses remain intertwined with the larger family and community. Existing extended familial relationships and obligations are highly valued. The fertility of a wife and husband was very important, as well as their kinship functions. The patriarchal structure was still frequently reinforced in modern African marriages.

Thus, men and women in their social and personal interactions within families use both modern and traditional value systems to negotiate their relationships and achieve their goals (Smith, 2001; van der Vliet 1991). Mate selection, marriage, and family structures are evolving in modern ways. However, those changes and gender relations are still very sensitive to the values of fertility and parenthood. Even in current African cultures, collectivistic values and corporate kinship ties are still essential for the lives of new couples.

African Cultural Evolution of Marriage

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The traditions and patterns of traditional African marriages and gender relationships varied substantially across the continent due to the cultural diversity of societies and tribes. Premarital love and sexual plays were allowed for youngsters in many indigenous cultures. However, when it came to marriage, both boys and girls relied on their parents.

Their parents usually had a big say in who, when, and how their boys and girls married because it was their duty to pay the dowry, also known as the bride price. In marriage and family matters, status, resources, and inheritance were among the most important factors.

Parents rarely forced their boys or girls to marry someone they did not like. Nonetheless, both boys and girls frequently appreciated the assistance of parents and relatives in finding a suitable match for them. Yet, love was not a central point of traditional African marriages.

The Traditional Routine of African Marriage

The traditional gender roles of men and women in marriages were stereotypical and rigid. A man or woman knew the cultural expectations of him or her and what duties they were supposed to fulfill.

Every woman was expected to marry, be a good wife, a good cook, a good housekeeper in a household, and bear children. She is expected to be physically strong and be eager to put in long hours for the household’s economic well-being. Her usefulness in housework and childrearing was more important than her physical appearance and personality (Murstein, 1974).

In the system of extended families in many African societies, the role of the husband was often smaller than in nuclear families. He fulfilled his sexual duties and the father’s duty to produce offspring.

His role in the family’s maintenance and relations was smaller. In extended African households, the husband was not much needed for the wife’s and children’s survival. Any member of the family could fulfil the duties of taking care of the pregnant woman or raising children (de Munck et al., 2016; Murstein, 1974).

Spousal Relationships in an African Family

Many African communities were tribal in nature, with extended families that might be patriarchal or non-patriarchal. Gender inequality was quite widespread in African societies, with the superior status of a man and the subordinate role of a woman. However, in some societies, men and women’s relationships were relatively equal or otherwise culturally specific.

Marriage and family were about kinship and household ties rather than spouse relationships. So, affection and intimacy were not priorities. Cultural norms often expected the submissive dispositions and behavior of a wife to a husband’s superiority. However, in some family cases, the spousal relationships were more equal than the cultural norms suggested. A wife was frequently expected to work hard at farming or trading in addition to her cooking and housekeeping duties.

Divorce was relatively easy in many African societies. In the case of family violence, abuse, or overly oppressive behavior by a husband, a wife could leave him. This way, the wife’s family status and rights were protected. And the husband was restrained in his actions. In the case of a divorce, he risked losing the bride price. In these kinds of family situations, the focus was once again on the set roles of marriage rather than on the quality of the relationships between people.

Cultural Transformations of Marital Relationships in the Mid-20th Century in Africa

Many changes occurred in Africa during the second half of the 20th century, rapidly transforming traditional marital relationships. Despite regional and cultural variances, there are some new trends in relationships and marriages.

The increasing urbanization of social life and social mobility were among the major factors. A diverse range of urban jobs replaced the village’s narrow and fixed occupational roles. Transformations in African social organization broke down a collective, kinship-oriented social system.

Education was the other influential factor in this social transformation and cultural evolution. Individualism and achievement-oriented Western norms were gradually supplanting rural stereotypes and mores.

All these social processes have altered the cultural understanding of gender relations, marriages, and families. They changed the criteria and processes of mate selection and marital relations. Families’ ability to influence and control their children’s marital choices and relationships was significantly weakened.

It was especially true in urban areas. African city dwellers were caught between collectivism and individualism as cultural ideologies. They might feel guilty if they rejected their family relatives, but they would be frustrated if they let them dictate the norms.

That was a difficult cultural evolution in African marriage transformation.

How “Romantic Love” Conquered Literary Fiction

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The article reviews the findings of recent studies on how the idea of romantic love appears in literary fiction in many cultures across the world.

What the Early Scholars of Love Believed

Researchers of literary history once believed romantic love was a European creation rooted in Medieval poems and songs of “courtly love” and Early Modern romantic literature. The historians thought that these European romantic ideas, stories, and descriptions spread further to other cultures across the world. It turned out they were wrong in their Western culture-centered views.

“Romantic Love” Emerged in Literary Fiction Across the World

Researchers, however, learned that the Southern French culture of the 12–13th centuries, a presumable “inventor” of romantic love, was substantially influenced by the Arabic and Iberian cultural conceptions of love of that and previous times. Recent studies have demonstrated that in the Indian, Arabic, Persian, Chinese, and Japanese cultures, romantic love evolved culturally independently of each other. They developed their own yet largely comparable literary traditions.

Investigations of the cultural history of numerous societies have shown that romantic love has been enduring in many places and eras (see for review, Baumard, Huillery, Hyafil, et al., 2022; Jankowiak and Fischer, 1992; Karandashev, 2017).

This Is How Romantic Love Ideas and Plots Came in Literary Fiction

But how did romantic love ideas and plots first enter literary fiction, and how did they spread culturally?

Romantic elements in European and Asian literary fiction have grown significantly over the current millennium across many societies and cultures. The themes and narratives of love appeared first in Classical India, Ancient China, Ancient Greece, and Ancient Rome. However, the substantial increase in love topics happened much later in cultural history. When, where, and how did this occur?

A recent large-scale study completed by French and Spanish researchers confirmed the cross-cultural universality of romantic love ideas. Nicolas Baumard, Elise Huillery, Alexandre Hyafil, and their colleagues compiled a comprehensive database of ancient literary fiction spanning the Middle Bronze Age to the Early Modern period. They compiled literary data for 77 periods spanning 3,800 years of human history and 19 geographical regions around the world. The researchers discovered that socioeconomic, ecological, and cultural factors contributed to the literary proliferation of romantic love (Baumard et al., 2022).

Economic Factors that Affected Literary Interest in Romantic Love

At first, one may think that the ideas of love are on another plane than the economic life of human existence. Romantic love is idealistic, while the economy is materialistic. So, they seem not to be closely related.

However, the researchers found that higher incidences and a larger prevalence of love themes in narrative fiction strongly correlate with regional variations in economic development across societies in the past. The higher levels of economic development in these societies lead to an increased abundance of romantic love literature in their cultures.

I noted elsewhere how economic development significantly contributed to the boost in interest and proliferation of romantic love in literary fiction in the past centuries of cultural history.

Growth in economic development played a significant role in the literary evolution of romantic love. It was conducive to the rise and flourishing of love fiction in Western Europe during the Central Medieval period of 1000–1300 years (Baumard et al., 2022).

However, literary themes, plots, and narratives of “romantic love” emerged and evolved in many world cultures independently of one another. That upsurge occurred at roughly the same historic periods when their societies saw growth in their population, urbanization, and economic growth (Baumard et al., 2022).

What about the Cultural Diffusion of Romantic Love?

“Cultural diffusion” is one of the main mechanisms explaining the spread and blending of cultural ideas, beliefs, artifacts, and practices across various cultures. Many people who study literature think that the spread of ideas from other cultures caused the growth of romantic literature.

So, what about the cultural diffusion of romantic love themes, plots, and narratives? For example, historians of literature considered medieval European “courtly love” as the outcome of social contacts with Arabic courtly culture and possibly the cultural rediscovery of Roman and Greek literature. In particular, some scholars believe that the love story of Tristan and Iseult might have its origins in unknown archaic Celtic fiction, a Welsh fable, an Irish tale, or the Persian love story of Vis o Rāmin.

Was Cultural Diffusion Frequent and Significant in Literary Love Fiction?

Researchers in literary history (Baumard et al., 2022) compiled an enormous collection of romantic love fiction across many cultures. They ran statistical modeling on their data set to explore the role of several factors in the evolution of love in history. When they compared the explanatory power of economic development and cultural diffusion, they discovered that despite the evidence that European and Asian societies had contact with each other, “their cultural diffusion played a minor role in explaining the concomitant rise of love.” (Baumard et al., 2022, p. 507).

Many old oral folklore tales of the 12th century were enriched with romantic themes, plots, and narratives to meet the growing interest in romantic stories in affluent societies in Western Europe.

As researchers demonstrated (Baumard et al., 2022), literary cultures varied across historical periods between romantic and non-romantic values in accordance with the economic standing of their societies.

The Examples of Romantic Love in Greek and Russian Literary History

Here is the Greek example,

“Greek, the lengthiest literary culture of our sample, started as non-romantic during the Archaic period, became more romantic during the Classical and Roman periods, then switched back to lower levels of love during the early medieval period and finally developed a new romantic culture during the Central Middle Age and the Early Modern period.”

(Baumard et al., 2022, p. 511).

Here is another example of romantic love, this time from Russian literary culture,

“The Russian culture quickly developed a highly romantic literary tradition during its economic take-off in the eighteenth century, despite a long tradition of non-romantic works. This suggests that the transmission of earlier works (that is, tales, epics) is less important in explaining the eighteenth-century level of love than the ecology of eighteenth-century Russia (that is, higher economic development).”

(Baumard et al., 2022, p. 511).

What Is “Romantic” in Romantic Love Across Cultures?

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Once, Western historians and literary scholars believed that “romantic love” was invented by West-European civilizations during the Medieval and Early Modern periods. Beginning with the “courtly love” (amour courtois) of the 12th and 13th centuries in France, Spain, and Germany, the presence and importance of romantic love ideas in European literature increased over the following centuries.

What Was “Romantic” in the Early “Fin’amor””?

The trobadors of southern France, the trouvères of northern France, and the Minnesänger of Germany were the early poets and singers of love known as fin’amor, which meant “refined love” in the Occitan language, spoken at that time in Southern France and some regions of Italy and Spain.

This lyrical, melodic, and fascinating love of poems, songs, and novels was really “refined.” It was distinct from short-term passions and sexual desires. It was a kind of love centered on emotional attractions and attachments, a re-ordering of life priorities, and long-term commitments.

In medieval literature, romantic love was viewed as spiritual rather than physical and as a long-term rather than short-term experience. For trobairitz and troubadours, describing sexual desire as an appetite wouldn’t be an adequate way to depict how lovers felt about each other.

Hundreds of love stories, from “Tristan and Iseult” to “Floris and Blancheflour”, appeared in literature at the turn of the 12th century and enjoyed tremendous success throughout Western Europe.

“The Romance of the Rose” (“Le Roman de la Rose“) was a romantic medieval poem of love written in the Old French language. This poetry was a beautiful example of “courtly love” literature because it showed the art of romantic love through an allegorical dream.

The growth and flourishing of love fiction in Western Europe during the Central Medieval period (1000–1300 years) occurred at a time of an extensive increase in population, substantial urbanization, and a rise in gross domestic product per capita (see for review, Baumard et al., 2022; Duby, 1994). Growing economic development was an important factor in this literary evolution.

How Did Cultures Develop Their Notion of “Romantic Love”?

Western scholars thought that these European ideas of romantic love had disseminated over time across other cultures throughout the world.

However, recent studies have demonstrated that Indian, Japanese, Chinese, Arabic, and Persian cultures of the past centuries developed their own literary traditions of “romantic love” fiction concurrently and mostly independently from Western literature (Baumard et al., 2022; Karandashev, 2017).

How can we say that it was the same “romantic love” across all these cultural literary expressions? Researchers found that the plot and the narration of all these romantic stories available in different cultures have similar psychological elements of love. These are idealizations of the beloved, emotional attractions and attachments, re-ordering of life priorities, long-term commitments, and others (see Karandashev, 2017, 2019, 2021b).

All romantic novels, epic poems, and tragedies across different cultural traditions contain the same topics: “love at first sight”, “tragic separations”, “faithful love”, “suicide for love”, and alike. They are all the elements of content, genre, and style designed to stimulate people’s interest in love, pair bonding, and relationships.

These elements are easily recognizable in the romantic stories of the early and later historical periods. Let us consider a few examples.

Romantic Love in the Literature of Ancient Greece

The ancient Greek novels of the Early Roman Empire of the 1st–3rd centuries AD, “Leucippe and Clitophon,” “The Ephesian Tale,” and “The Aethiopica” are clearly romantic: young couple in love, of extraordinary beauty, are plunged by hostile fate into various adventures and dangers, until, in the end, for the most part after a rather long separation, they are united in a stable, faithful love for a life that is henceforth unchangingly happy” (quoted in Baumard et al., 2022, p. 507).

Romantic Love in the Literature of Ancient China

In the same way, the Chinese caizi-jiaren are romantic stories with all the key romantic elements. The protagonists are attracted by each other’s physical and personal qualities. They usually fall in love with each other at first sight. They also succeed in overcoming the obstacles and marrying each other. Thus, they represent an idealized couple.

“The Story of the Western Wing” by Wang Shifu (Xixiangji in Chinese) was the most well-known love story of the 13th century. It is about the adventures of the star-crossed lovers, Oriole and Student Zhang. This play influenced numerous later plays, novels, and short stories that were prominent in the Chinese cultural history of romantic love.

Romantic Love in the Literature of Other World Cultures

The plot and narrative of romantic love, along with corresponding literary elements, are evidently present in the Sanskrit love tale of East India “Nala and Damayanti”, in the Japanese jōruri play “The Love Suicides at Sonezaki”, in the Persian tragic romance “Khosrow and Shirin”, and in the Arabic old story “Layla and Majnun”.

Thus, we can see that the literary themes, plots, and narratives of “romantic love” have been omnipresent in many world cultures throughout human history. And they emerged and developed independently from each other, but surprisingly, during approximately the same periods when their societies experienced economic growth, an expanding population, and increasing urbanization.

How Did “Romantic Love” Emerge in the Literary Evolution?

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We evidently recognize that “romantic love” can exist on both the plane of cultural ideas and the plane of individual realities. Folklore, poems, novels, and other pieces of literature and art represent the “ideas of love” as made-up fiction with the plots of stories and narration of behavior, perception, and emotions associated with love. This plane of love represents “what love can be.”

Individual experiences and expressions, “loving” interactions, and relationships with the loved one, on the other hand, represent the “individual and relationship realities of love.” This plane of love represents “what love really is.” In human societies, romantic love can exist in any of these forms or in both.

A Fascinating Literary History of Romantic Love

This article looks at when and how “ideas of romantic love” became important in the history of literary fiction across different times and places.

French and Spanish studies recently verified the cross-cultural universality of passionate love beliefs. Nicolas Baumard, Elise Huillery, Alexandre Hyafil, and their colleagues from France and Spain recently compiled and analyzed a huge database of literary fiction from the Middle Bronze Age to the Early Modern period, spanning across 3,800 years and 19 globe regions of the world (Baumard, Huillery, Hyafil, et al., 2022). They have demonstrated the cross-cultural universality of “the ideas of romantic love” in terms of plots and narration.

The Surprising Synchrony of the History of Romantic Love

Recent research has revealed that the emergence of romantic love in literary fiction in certain periods of history occurred not only in Western societies but also in other parts of the world. Literature historians have also documented a similar rise in the importance of love in literary fiction in the Arab world, Persia, India, China, and Japan across centuries. For example, romantic love appeared at nearly the same time in the Early Modern period in the literature of both the East and the West (Baumard et al., 2022; Karandashev, 2017).

Economic Wealth and Romantic Love

Studies suggest that the flourishing of romantic love in literature is a product of economic development in societies (Baumard et al., 2022; Duby, 1994).

Researchers discovered that economic development in ancient societies contributed to the rise in importance of romantic love by combining literary history, cultural evolution, causal methods, and model-based analysis. They demonstrated that higher incidences and prevalences of love themes in narrative fiction are strongly related to regional differences in economic development. The higher levels of economic development in these societies are associated with an increased abundance of romantic love literature in their cultures.

Similarly, anthropological studies have revealed that in horticulturalist and pastoralist societies, which are associated with low economic development, ideas of love for men and women are culturally marginal experiences and expressions. On the other hand, in societies with intensive agriculture and production, associated with relatively higher economic development, love can play a much more important role (Goody, 1998; Gregor, 1985/2008).

The Human Evolutionary Transition to the Consumption of Meat Could Create the Arts

Different interpretations of these findings are possible. Here is one of these possibilities. There is a common saying derived from our evolutionary past that “eating meat created art” in human history. What does it mean?

People in the gathering societies, whose main food was plants, were always busy searching for their subsistence. They were continually hungry. It is because plants provide them with low-energy resources for nutrition. So, people just did not have time to think about art and literature.

On the other hand, eating meat provides a higher energy resource for nutrition. So, people in societies that eat meat could afford to stop and think for some time about something else beyond their daily needs. Since they had not been hungry for a while, they were relatively free from thinking about food. Therefore, they had time to think about art.

Such an evolutionary idea sounds logically convincing, doesn’t it?

How Did Economic Development Increase the Cultural Importance of Romantic Love?

In the same vein, the economic development of a society liberates men and women from the constraints of daily hassles and concerns about subsistence and survival. Therefore, the economic development of societies, along with wealth, brings people freedom from their daily needs and the freedom to think about love. Consequently, these affluent conditions of life increase the cultural importance of love.

So, when individuals have more resources, they change their priorities. Love becomes more important for them than survival. Baumard and his colleagues showed how this is reflected in literature: narratives about war and status become less frequent than narratives about love (Baumard et al., 2022).

Only men and women who did not have to struggle daily for their subsistence and survival were able to think and write about love. They had spare time to write. Or, they had money to pay authors who could write and entertain them with romantic love ideas. And they had leisure time to read about all this. Others’ love is so entertaining to read about when one is affluent enough to relax and enjoy such reading.

For example, the remarkable variability of love fiction across time occurred in these societies.

“during the Roman period in Greece, the Abbasid Caliphate in the Arabic countries, the Heian period in Japan, and the Central Medieval, and Early Modern periods in France and England. In each case, this corresponds to periods of high economic development. By contrast, the level of romantic love appears to be lower in the least developed European areas (Wales, Ireland, Norway, Russia and to some extent Byzantium).”

“The convergence of Eurasian societies can be observed at the end of the time frame. France, England, Japan, India and China all experience an increase in romantic love.”

(Baumard et al., 2022, p. 512).