Category Archives: love in Bedouin culture

love in Bedouin culture

Being in Love Is the Love Madness of the Human Mind

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As I noted elsewhere, the Fulbe people of West Africa believe that love is a defiant emotion that should be avoided, suppressed, or at least not expressed. And this negative view of love is cross-culturally present in many other societies as well. Besides the Fulbe culture, this belief about love madness is shared by other Muslim societies in the world (Regis, 1995).

The Mysterious and Malicious Power of the “Ishq”

The Arabic word “ishq” has been widely used in other languages of the Muslim world, referring to passionate love. Old medical textbooks of the Islamic world portrayed “ishq” as a mixture of psychic and physical illnesses. Here is an example of how the medieval Islamic medical thought described this state of mind and soul:

“It exceeds the limit of mere inclination and [normal] love and, by possessing the reason, causes its victim to act unwisely. It is blameworthy and ought to be avoided by the prudent”

(Dols, 1992, p.319).

Islamic theology is deeply entwined with the idea that madness results from ardent love. This idea affects how folk tales portray characters. Like Romeo and Juliet in Europe, the tale of Qays and Lila and their tragic love has become a classic story in Islamic literature.

While both tales depict star-crossed lovers, the Islamic one depicts Qays as a “majnun,” or a lunatic (Dols, 1992, p. 332). The madness evolving from the experience of passionate love is a pan-Islamic theme.

When He or She Is Madly in Love

Because of these traditional myths, the Fulbe cultural views toward the experience and expression of love as love-madness look like traditional Islamic thought on “ishq” (passionate love). Full engagement in the feelings of grief, pain, wrath, happiness, or love is like possession with no reason or sense. Many people of Islamic faith think the same way as the Fulbe, with suspicions about passionate and romantic feelings.

Here is another example. The Muslim Tuareg people of Niger, a Berber ethnic group that lives in the Sahara, share the same cultural beliefs about love as the love-madness. “Tuareg cultural values… discourage revealing personal sentiments directly, in particular love preference.”

These cultural attitudes are particularly strongly attributed to Muslim women. Because of these gender stereotypes of inequality, women suffer more than men from tamazai, “an illness of the heart and soul.”

The ailment of tamazai is culturally attributed to a person’s possession by a spirit due to a “hidden love” or not acting on desires. A woman or a man suffering from the malady of tamazai feels withdrawn from people (Rasmussen, 1992, p. 339).

Smadar Lavie, Professor of Anthropology at the University of California, Davis, documented the similar cultural beliefs about passionate love feelings among the Mzeina Bedouin of South Sinai (Lavie, 1990).

The Surprising Cross-Cultural Views on Love as Madness

The Islamic religious beliefs explain the cultural similarities in the attitudes toward love of the Fulbe, Tuareg, and Mzeina people (Lavie, 1990; Rasmussen, 1992; Regis, 1995; Riesman, 1971).

It is interesting, however, that the same cultural beliefs and comments about passionate love are present in Africa among the Christian ethnic groups of the Igbo people in Cameroon, Gabon, Nigeria, and Equatorial Guinea, as well as the Ijaw people in southeastern Nigeria.

The Cultural Value of Moderation in Love

According to the cultural beliefs of these Muslim and Christian societies in Africa, any emotion is acceptable in moderation. Therefore, an experience of extreme love is insane. The passionate insanity of love can be caused by a love potion or by an excessively strong personal will.

According to their cultural views, men and women in a state of love are affected by forces that are beyond their conscious control. The “love syndrome” is more about exaggeration in the perception and behavior of a lover than about deviation. These are inherent symptoms of passionate love. The overwhelming power of love can be conceived as an external or internal force. Anyway, they limit people’s ability to perceive and behave appropriately (Rasmussen, 1992; Regis, 1995).

One can see the parallels between the social restrictions that these societies place on expressing anger, pain, grief, and affection for children and the cultural constraints on romantic and passionate love. Both groups of feelings are normal emotional experiences when they are in moderation.

When People Indulge Emotions Excessively and Obsessively

Otherwise, when men and women indulge in emotions excessively and act compulsively, the tyranny of emotion can cause a psychological disturbance in both men and women. This internal imbalance prevents them from fully participating in the daily lives of their family and community.

What Is Bedouin Culture?

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“Bedouin culture” encompasses the traditional cultural practices of the nomadic Arabic-speaking peoples that have been living for centuries in the deserts of Jordan, Israel, Syria, Iraq, and Saudi Arabia in the Middle East and the Arabian Peninsula, and in Morocco, Tunisia, Libya, Sudan, Algeria, and Egypt in North Africa.

These people are commonly named in English as Bedouins (sometimes spelled Beduin), while they are originally known in Arabic as “Badawi”, or in plural, “Badw.”

Bedouins speak their own Arabic language (Bedawi), which has several dialects. In the Arabic language, “Bedu” means the people living out in the open, in the desert. Literally, the word “badawiyin” refers to desert dwellers. 

Some anthropologists consider Bedouin culture to be the purest form of Arab culture. Because of their rich oral poetic legacy, lifestyle, and code of honor, other Arabs still regard them as “ideal” Arabs.

And according to some recent estimates, the number of Bedouin inhabitants is only around 4 million. Anthropologists identify the Bedouins by their way of life, social structure, language, and culture.

The Appearance of Bedouins

Bedouins are recognizable by their specific appearance, such as their facial features and clothes.

“The men wear long “gallabeya” with a thin cotton pantalon down and a red/white (smaegh) or white (amemma) headscarf, sometimes held in place by a black cord (aghell).”

(retrieved from Bedouin Culture)

“The women wear colored long dresses and, when they go out, they dress in a thin, long, black coat (abaya), sometimes decorated with embroidery. They always cover their hair with a black, thin scarf (tarha). They cover their faces with decorated face veils (burqa’ah).”

(retrieved from Bedouin Culture)

Today, one can see this only in the oldest generation of women. The women of a younger generation simply cover their faces with their “tarha”, and some “dare” to wear more colorful ones (retrieved from Bedouin Culture).

The Way of Bedouin Life

Since the beginning of Islam, Egyptians have referred the Bedouin as ‘Arab,’ which is equivalent with the term “Nomad.” They belong to the nomadic culture that determine many things in their life. In ancient times, many people preferred to settle mostly near rivers. However, Bedouin people chose to live in the open desert.

Most Bedouins are herders who migrate into the desert during the wet winter months and return to cultivated land during the dry summer months. Bedouins herd camels, goats, cattle, and sheep. In the past, some Bedouin tribes raided trade caravans and communities of villagers at the boundaries of settled areas.

They consider themselves to be proud people and appreciate their lifestyle. They are quite suspicious and prefer to avoid talking about their personal lives.

The Family Life of Bedouins

Bedouin societies have tribal and patriarchal organizations. They consist of patrilineal, endogamous, and polygynous extended families. The heads of the families and larger social units that make up the tribal structure are “sheikhs” (or “sheikhs”). An informal tribal council of male elders assists the sheikh. Bedouin culture emphasizes the strong belief in tribal superiority and security that supports people’s ability to survive in a hostile environment. Their extensive kinship networks provide them with the basic needs they need to survive and community support. These traditional networks ensure the safety of families and protect their property. In modern times, however, only about 5% of the Bedouin people still live their pastoral (semi) nomadic life.

The Modern Life of Bedouins

Modern Arab countries tend to modernize their nomadic lifestyles and encourage their citizens to settle in urban areas. These adjustments allow society to provide children with education and health care. Contemporary Bedouin societies gradually change. Men have more leeway in adapting to modern Arab culture. However, many women are still bound by the tradition of an honor culture, urging them to stay within the family (retrieved from Bedouin Culture).

Love and Sex in Bedouin Culture

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Love and sex are closely intertwined in the Western culture of love as well as across many cultures, especially in societies with simple tribal cultures (Karandashev, 2017, 2019). So, scholars generally assumed that sex and sexual intercourse were the primary experiences and expressions of love in Bedouin culture (Wickering, 1997).

The Traditional Conservative Attitudes Toward Sex in Islam and the Arabic World

Some scholars believe that the Middle East and Islam have been one of the most conservative regions in the world when it comes to sexual expression and sexual intercourse. Nevertheless, since ancient times, sexual union has been viewed as necessary for a loving relationship, at least if it is licit. Sex was a need rather than a pleasure. At least publicly, it was the feeling of wanting a child rather than longing for love.

It seems simple to perceive only doom and gloom in the Middle East and North Africa’s sexual scenes, with family preoccupations with female virginity. Most people still believe that the husband should have the final say in family problems, and consider “honour killing” acceptable. However, some journalists believe that talking about sex is no longer as taboo in the Arab world as before (e.g., El Feki, 17 July 2019).

And in modern Bedouin culture, people in urban regions are more willing to talk about sex than those in rural regions.

Bedouin Women and Men Traditionally Limited in Communication

It was only partially true, at least in the reality of love relationships. Traditionally, Bedouin men and women have had few occasions to meet each other alone. Their intergender communication was limited to community events. They saw each other more at tribal gatherings or clandestine encounters. The ways in which they talked about their lovers did not explicitly express sexual desire.

Silent Sexuality in Bedouin Culture

Sexuality in Bedouin cultures has been silent and invisible. Modesty and honor are high moral values. Public discourse on sexuality is not encouraged, and premarital sex is not acknowledged. Therefore, sex research in such societies is very limited. Only partial findings are valid and available in this research field, so our cultural knowledge on the topic of sex relationships is still incomplete (Al-Shdayfat & Green, 2012).

Sex is a topic for hidden and implicit conversations. Sexual desire appears as a straightforward motive and inspiration. However, when men and women talk about their beloved, they express a desire to see each other and to be in physical proximity. Sexual desires and dreams, rather than sexual intercourse itself, are the prominent features of Bedouin love experiences, expressions, and relationships.

Attitudes Toward Premarital Sex in Modern Bedouin Culture

In the Middle East, dating is becoming increasingly popular among younger people. This kind of encounter gives them a way to get to know a prospective partner before marrying them. Culturally, dating is becoming more socially acceptable. Nevertheless, premarital sex remains stigmatized in the minds of some conservative Bedouin people. Among other things, such factors as gender, religiosity, age, cultural, and political attitudes determine the attitudes regarding premarital sex in the Middle East and North Africa.

The religious factor probably plays a central role. The religious books, such as the Bible and the Qur’an, considered extramarital sex evil and punishable by God. In the Qur’an, fornication is referred to as Zina, which is a sin against God (“Ruling on the things that lead to zina”, published on 08-04-2003).

The Ancient Roots of Medieval Arabic and Bedouin Erotic Culture

It is likely that attitudes toward sex, sexual pleasure, and erotic art were different in the artistic expressions, poems, and real lives of people. The Bedouin type of love was probably more of a literary motif than one based on real experience (Myrne, 2017).

For example, the medieval Arabic erotic literature depicted sex, true love, and pleasing the beloved. The early Arabic erotic handbook, “Jawāmi‘ al-ladhdha” (“Encyclopedia of Pleasure”), was likely written in the late 10th century (Myrne, 2017).

It is likely, however, that those old erotic books described the ideal rather than the real practices of laypeople.

An interesting feature of this book, which some scholars highlighted, was

“the central position of the female beloved and her desire, which has to be satisfied for the sake of marital harmony and mutual love.”

(Myrne, 2017, p. 216).

True love was viewed as pleasing the beloved in sex. 

What Is ‘ishq?

It is likely that rural and urban views on sex were different, even in those old times. According to an old anecdote, the Arab philologist al-Aṣma‘ī (d. 213/828 or 216/831) once asked a Bedouin how he and his fellows defined the word ‘ishq (“passionate love”).

When al-Aṣma‘ī said that for them, living in Basra town,

“passionate love means parting the legs of the beloved and mounting her.”

The Bedouin man replied,

“For us, passionate love means looking at the beloved and perhaps kissing her.”

This wicked explanation disappointed the Bedouin man, who exclaimed, “You are not a lover (‘āshiq); you only want a child!”

This old anecdote clarifies the topic of sexuality, as early Arabic literary discourse depicted the nature and meaning of love at the time. And the dividing line in this discourse was between the chaste love attached to the pure rural lifestyle of Bedouins and the sexually fulfilled love attached to the urban lifestyle.

One Arab attitude was that physical intimacy was insignificant for true love in a loving couple. Such intimacy can even be destructive. The other Arab attitude was that sexual union is necessary for love, or at least that it is admissible. In this regard, the flourishing genre of erotic literature conveyed most radical ideas. The modern tacit and hidden discourse on these attitudes toward sex in Islam and the Arab world is still inconsistent and contentious.

Love in Traditional and Modern Bedouin Culture

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Bedouin culture is the traditional way of life of the Arabic-speaking nomads who lived in the deserts of the Arabian Peninsula, North Africa, the Levant, and Mesopotamia in the past.

Bedouins are desert dwellers—the people who live out in the open, in the desert. Bedouins speak their own Arabic language. Bedouin culture is the way of their lives—social structure, language, relationships, and family life.

The Cycles of Nomadic Life in Traditional Bedouin Culture

Pastures were usually dispersed in a predictable pattern according to the seasons. They travel to the desert in the spring and winter, when seasonal rains bring the desert to life. Grass and sedge grow between the dunes.

Herders traditionally moved their cattle between summer pastures in the mountains and winter camps on the steppes. They picked up and moved two or three times a year, usually between May and October, normally staying within a 25-square-mile area, and then resettled in a winter camp with some stone shelters for the animals from November to April.

The Cycles of Life and the Cycle of Love in Traditional Bedouin Culture

The nomadic life cycle reflects on the “ralya” and “ilhub” types of love relationships. The season of spring pasture brings normally “distant” people together in the mountains.

For instance, a poem tells the story of how a young man spends time with his lover. The last line of the poem depicts the man standing on a mountaintop and watching his family go one way and his lover go the other. “My eye flies east, and my heart to the west,” he sings. As we see, the sentiments of “ralya,” with affection, responsibility, and deep blood bonds, fly with his eyes to his family, while his heart, with passion and longing, goes with his lover.

Such poetic stories of love (see Wickering, 1997) are almost always depicted in the mountains. The mountains are far and away. Young people meet each other in the mountains. The emotions of “ilhub” love draw them together.

Stories of Death-defying Love in Bedouin Culture

In Tarabiin, some of Deborah Wickering’s closest friends confided in her about their relationships with lovers. Once, a young, unmarried man in her host family told her a story of the previous night.

“Last night I took Salem’s camel into the mountains to see my girlfriend.”

He asked Deborah to promise never to reveal her identity to anyone, then showed me a picture he had of her hidden between two others in his wallet.

“Did you see each other?” Deborah asked.

“No,” he replied. “Her father and her brother were riding in a jeep, looking out of the sides of their eyes for me. Ya Allah, how I want to see her. “

  “What would have happened if they had caught you?” Deborah asked.

He made a motion slitting his own neck.

“I’ll try again tonight,” he said.

         

“I’ll try again tonight,” he said. “If I come to your house, Fatima, maybe late? I will take my brother’s camel saddle, which is stored in your room.”

“I’ll try again tonight,” he said.

“If I come to your house, Fatima, maybe late? I will take my brother’s camel saddle, which is stored in your room.”

Deborah agreed that he should announce himself and come in.

Perhaps because Deborah Wickering was an outsider to the network of those who would have sanctions over them, perhaps because, over time, they learned that Deborah would keep a secret, people told me about illicit, secret, and potentially dangerous relationships. Deborah’s own interests also invited such confidence.

Such “rendezvous” as Salama’s are common in Tarabiin. Girls in small groups, often accompanied by an elderly woman, take extended pasture trips. Every woman has a story about the old woman who looked the other way in camp at night and pretended to be sleeping. Girls sneak off; boyfriends visit. Such relationships are expected, even though they are dangerous and kept secret.

Modern Life and Modern Love in Bedouin Culture

Currently, there are both semi-nomadic and settled Bedouins. Most Bedouins now live in stable communities, although they maintain their nomadic traditions. Many governments in the Middle East have encouraged Bedouins to settle down and have made raiding illegal. Thus, Bedouins were forced to abandon their nomadic lifestyles and settle in concrete house villages in some areas.

In the modern social context, life has altered. Many people have settled or are semi-settled in the seaside neighborhood. However, concerns about love in cross-cousin marriages as well as tensions between “ralya” and “ilhub,” between nearness and distance, persist.

People’s physical proximity to each other has gotten closer. Girls are more likely to meet boys with whom they must wear a veil and who live far away. This proximity provided greater opportunities for “ilhub” relationships. However, such close proximity in residence also creates an obstacle for a girl by making her actions more visible to others. The vigilance of fathers and brothers is increased. Women are under pressure to stay home and avoid external communication.

On the other hand, sheep and goat herding continue to provide a chance for girls and women to get away from the community and out of sight. Girls and boys get to know each other on pasturing outings (Wickering 1997, pp. 81–82).

The Modern Issues of “Forbidden Love”

Many modern Bedouin women have more educational and employment opportunities. Yet, educated Bedouin women continue to encounter the traditional obstacles to love. The narratives of young Bedouin women from the Negev, a desert region of southern Israel, present such examples. They experience and strive to cope with “forbidden love,” “loveless marriage,” and challenging marital situations that occur due to their education and employment opportunities (Abu-Rabia-Queder, 2007).

Several types of marital situations can arise: “matchless women,” “tragic heroines,” and “women ahead of their time.” The overarching theme was that these women had to sacrifice their emotions in order to achieve freedom (Abu-Rabia-Queder, 2007).

They struggle with these challenges, utilizing various splitting mechanisms. They shift between attachment and detachment of body and mind, reason and emotion, and public and private spheres on the levels of consciousness and behavior.

The stories of Bedouin women who were the first in their tribes to study in higher education institutions are also dramatic in other respects. These women still encounter difficulties when it comes to love relationships with men from “forbidden tribes.”

The Two Meanings of Love in Bedouin Culture

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The field study of relationships in Bedouin culture, conducted by American anthropologist Dr. Deborah Wickering (1997), uncovered a diversity of love conceptions in those cultural groups. Bedouins distinguish two kinds of love: ilhub and ralya.

What Kind of Love Does Ilhub Mean in Bedouin Culture?

The word “ilhub” is the most common noun for “love” and the most common verb for “to love.” People understand it as a sickness, a death-defying condition, carrying passion, desire, and pursuit. This kind of love involves longing, passion, and a desire for something (or someone) that a person does not possess. This kind of love is a fierce illness that inhabits the body.

“Emotions can control a person. In love, you can’t think of anything else; usual rules are broken. ”

(Wickering, 1997, p. 79)

Unrequited love brings a loss of appetite. When the pursuit of desire is thwarted, the person feels depression and lethargy. As the lyrics of a popular Bedouin song say,

What Kind of Bedouin Love Does Ralya Mean?

The word ralya means “dear,” “precious,” and “valuable.” It stands for an emotion that a person feels toward family members, friends, and a marriage partner. People experience this kind of love as a feeling of security and support, as a feeling of being safe, protected, held, and cherished. The love feelings of “ralya” relate to a social network of obligations, duties, and rights in kin and friendship relations.

“Obedience to one’s parents was obligatory.”

(Wickering, 1997, p. 80)

Ralya is love for those who are currently present and with whom a person has familiarity and social contact. The kinship bonds of ralya sustain human life. These love bonds provide the necessities of survival: shelter, protection, food, and clothing.

The Bedouin ralya is love in the context of various rituals and routines of everyday life. It penetrates talks and meals. It permeates the relationships with people with whom a person shares a routine familiarity and intimacy. Other people in the ralya relationships have the close bonds with each other (Wickering, 1997, pp. 78–79).

The passion of ilhub pulls a lover toward the beloved, while fear precipitates aversion. People use the word xayif representing fear, an avoidance response, and heart pounding, to denote the strength of feelings in ralya.

The Relationship between Ralya and Ilhub Is a Paradox of Love in Bedouin Culture

According to Wickering’s interpretation (1997, pp. 80–81), the ilhub

“takes an individual out of the familiar, secure, and known toward chaos, risk, danger, and possibly death. It is a passion for otherness.”

In ilhub,

“the other is different, distant, outside of routine and obligation. In patrilateral cross-cousin marriages, union is made of sameness.”

The Bedouin story of tragic love is about a desire to subvert an obligation. This love is a flight away from rules.

The desire of a person toward unity with another—a beloved—can destroy this person’s unity with those who are the same—family members. On the one hand, love supports life, while on the other, it unhinges it.

Field observations by Wickering have revealed that emotions for Bedouins are physical and corporeal. The heart contains both ralya and ilhub, along with fear, another emotion of concern to the Bedouin people. The struggle between these two forces brings both excitement and tragedy (Wickering, 1997, p. 80).

Cultural Connotations of Love among Bedouins

Ralya and ilhub are the types of love that are related to each other, yet neither one is dominant. The Bedouin culture of love is closely related to their traditional nomadic life, which brings people together and takes them apart.

Because of this, men and women often feel a tension between presence and absence, which is embodied in the tension between ralya and ilhub.

On the one hand, the bonds of ralya keep kin together. Those people, who are in the relations of ralya, are present in small kin groups. They are visible and look familiar. They are close, both physically in the household and in daily activities. They are emotionally and intimately acquainted.

On the other hand, “ilhub” reaches out with desire in the distance, breaks order, and subverts kin bonds to develop outside attachments. The emotion of ilhub stems from distance and absence. It fosters a desire and longing for someone who is not involved in “ralya” relationships. A man and a woman may feel ilhub; however, they are veiled from each other. They are expected to keep a public distance from each other.

Love in Bedouin Culture

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Bedouin culture is the culture of the nomadic Arab people who live in Arabia, the territory that stretches from the deserts of North Africa to the rocky sands of the Middle East. Living in tribes, they have a common culture of herding camels and goats. Most Bedouins follow Islam, but there are also a small number of Christian Bedouins. In Arabic, they are known as the ʾAʿrāb (أعراب).

One example of such a society is that of the Bedouins in the Western Desert of Egypt. Another example is the Arab-Palestinian people in southern Israel. Some Bedouins still follow their traditional culture, living in clan structures. The others, however, have acquired a modern urban lifestyle, abandoning their nomadic and tribal traditions.

In another article, I talked more about “Bedouin Culture.”

Two Realms of Love in Bedouin Culture

In Bedouin societies, love exists in two realms: real and ideal (Karandashev, 2017). The traditional Bedouin culture is a patriarchal society, keeping boys and girls, men and women, segregated. The moral discourse comprising modesty and honor has a high value. Cultural norms discourage autonomy and individual choice in relationships. As in many other traditional South Asian cultures, kinship, family honor, and social hierarchy are valued more than individual emotions and preferences. Therefore, both men and women usually feel uncomfortable in intimate relationships (Abu-Lughod, 1986/2016).

The Ideology of Gender Inequality in Bedouin Culture

Bedouin cultural ideologies declare gender inequality and social hierarchy. Individuals have the freedom to make choices about their lives. However, the value of autonomy is normally associated with masculinity. The cultural value of autonomy is for men, while the cultural value of dependency is for women. In Bedouin communities, patriarchal control over women is still existent and prevalent (Aburabia 2011, 2017; Kook, Harel-Shalev, and Yuval 2019).

The traditional extended family—the hamula (clan)—continues to maintain high authority and control over women’s lives. Every woman can choose what she wants, but she must know the limit (Aburabia, 2011; Daoud et al., 2020; Harel-Shalev, Kook, & Elkrenawe, 2020, p. 493).

An extended family puts limitations on and also keeps control over men’s lives, yet men are allowed to have more autonomy and freedom. For instance, the practice of polygyny is still common among the Bedouin community, even though it is legally forbidden. The approximate rates of polygamy are 20–30%. In some villages, it could be 60% (Aburabia, 2011).

Cultural Dreams of Romantic Love in Bedouin Culture

On the other hand, stories, poems, and songs in modern Bedouin culture cherish romantic love as a high value. It is worth noting that passion seems more valuable than intimacy. Love is bound by controversial emotions. Poems of love may express an individual’s strength, autonomy, mastery of passions, and support of the values of honor and modesty. On the other hand, the poetry of love expresses attachment, vulnerability, loss, and bitterness related to the state of “being in love.” Romantic poetry is valued, relishing a declared freedom from social domination. It conveys subversive messages. Thus, despite the patriarchal and segregated society in which Bedouins live, their stories, poems, and songs of romantic love cherish the imaginations of people in modern Bedouin culture. Romantic poems, songs, and stories about love offer important expressions of deeply held human emotions and desires that are considered unacceptable and disturbing by the dominant culture (Orsini, 2006, pp. 22–23).

The amorous feelings expressed in poems and the seeming rigidity of modesty in daily communications are evidently at odds with each other in modern Bedouin culture. Does it mean that these poetic sentiments illuminate the more authentic selves of men and women? Not necessarily.

Ideal and Real Love in Bedouin Culture

The romantic, poetic expression of love is not always evidence of a person’s more genuine self. The psychological interactions between the social hierarchy of power, the moral sentiment of modesty and submissive reverence, and the poetic discourse of love are far more complex than just defying authority. These cultural experiences cannot be reduced to such straight interpretations and cannot be simply contrasted with Western understandings.

The structure of Bedouin love is more tangled than Western scholars tend to interpret it. Poems, songs, and romantic stories enrich men’s and women’s cultural understanding of emotions, but do not refuse or rebel against the reality of the love life. Their selves rearrange priorities and integrate other people and social obligations into their extended “collectivistic self.” Their freedom of choice integrates with social affordances and communal responsibility. Such perspectives on love appear to contrast with European American individualistic culture, which emphasizes an individual’s freedom of choice while minimizing responsibility for the choices individuals make.  (Abu-Lughod, 1986/2016).