Category Archives: Polynesian love

Cultural Features of Mangaian Romantic Love

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Early anthropological studies portrayed the sexual culture of Polynesian love. Those studies downplayed the love and emotions of indigenous people in the South Seas. For example, the cultural anthropology of Mangaian love presented the freedom of sexual intimacy and love among Mangaian people of Polynesia.

Later anthropological studies of the 20th century, as I noted in another article, showed that Polynesian women’s and men’s emotional experiences demonstrated that their feelings and relationships were romantic, according to the Western concept of romantic love (Karandashev, 2017, 2019).

Six Things Make Mangaian Love Romantic

Anthropological studies of the 1980s and 1990s showed that romantic love was present in Polynesian cultures (see Jankowiak, ed., 1995), in particular in the Mangaian culture (e.g., Harris, 1995). The word “inangaro” (loving and liking) comes in different forms and contexts, and it is used in many ways, which conveys several core meanings of romantic love.

In other articles, I explained the six key things that made Polynesian love in Mangaia “romantic.” These were

  • (1) intrusive thinking about the partner,
  • (2) a romantic perception of the beloved as an exceptional person,
  • (3) a romantic idealization of the partner and the relationship,
  • (4) a reordering of motivational hierarchies,
  • (5) emotional dependency in romantic love, and
  • (6) care and concern for the other.

See more about these in:

Three Things Make Mangaian Love “Romantic”, and

Three Other Things That Make Mangaian Love Romantic

What Is Culturally Special about Mangaian Love?

In the 1980s, an extensive anthropological field study revealed culturally specific characteristics of Mangaian romantic love. Cultural anthropologists proposed that the Mangaian pattern of heterosexual romantic love differs from the American model of romantic love in its emphasis on specific features of love. The significant differences between these two cultural models of love are in the relative weighting of those features (e.g., Harris, 1995).

The Mangaian cultural model of romantic love is different in many ways from the American model of romantic love

Open Expression of Sexual Love

The two cultural models have different patterns of sexual attitudes and sexual relations. In particular, the Polynesian pattern emphasizes sexual expressiveness while the American pattern minimizes sexual expressiveness.

Polynesian cultures perceive free and open sexual expressions and behaviors as common and central features of sexual relationships and love.

Love Emerges Involuntarily “From the Bowels”

Women and men understand the Mangaian word “inangaro”, with its flexible denotation as “wanting, needing, liking, or loving,” in its specific meaning in the context of heterosexual relationships. It conveys the meaning of “the real love from within, the feeling inside you, from your heart, for someone.” More specifically, love is an involuntary emotional feeling that emerges “from the heart”, even though it literally means “comes from the bowels”. Mangaians believe that the inangaro is “not a choice, but suddenly it is a feeling” that overwhelms a person. Such an involuntary process as falling in love can have both positive and negative consequences. For instance, sometimes relationships that should have been were not because “that feeling” just wasn’t there.

Let us look at one case of this kind,

“Ani was energetically courted by a “good and loving” man who wanted to marry her but for whom she did not feel inangaro. Instead, she fell in love with a man who turned out to be unfaithful to her after they were mar­ried, causing her considerable unhappiness. As she reflected on her life, Ani regretted not being able to love her first suitor, who, in hindsight, would have been a better spouse.”

(Harris, 1995, p.121).

Physical Beauty Is a Powerful Force of Love

Mangaians understand that physical beauty is a powerful driving force of love in heterosexual relationships. Mangaians, like other Polynesians, have a great appreciation for the aesthetics of the human body. They believe that the human physique is the vital trigger of passionate love.

The Mangaian cultural standards of sexual beauty, however, are substantially different from western conventions of physical attractiveness. Different physical features ignite Polynesian love.

For many Mangaians, love at first sight prevails in their culture. The decisive role of physical beauty and the idea of love as an involuntary process are crucial in this regard. Here is an example of how Mangaians described their experiences of sudden and intense attraction to a person they had just met (Harris, 1995, p.122):

“I was in the shop buying some food and I turned and saw him. I got a feeling inside me that I had never felt before with anyone. I had already had a boyfriend and a baby and other boys had come around too. But when I saw this man, I wished that he would be my husband, and this feeling was a surprise because I had never seen him before. Although I had that feeling, I didn’t expect that the feel­ing would come true.”

Mangaian Love as Fate and Destiny

While in North America, “looks count” and “love for beauty” are important factors in falling in love (Tennov, 1979), in Mangaian culture, these factors are recognized as superficial and insubstantial foundations for a relationship (Harris, 1995).

Love and attraction derive from something more important. This is the fate of a supernatural power that is beyond a person’s control.

In American culture, people are generally ambivalent about love “at-first-sight.” They think that physical attraction cannot be the exclusive ground for a “serious” relationship, although they admit that such occurrences exist. As opposed to this, Mangaians perceive such immediate and intense reactions of attraction to a person of the opposite sex as natural when they speak about such experiences.

People in societies that are not affected by cultural discomfort and suspicion of the body are more willing to admit the power of physical attraction. They have a strong belief in “love-at-first-sight” occurrences. In Mangaia, men and women believe that the feeling of love is God’s (or nature’s) way of bringing and keeping people together (1995, p.122).

Three Other Things That Make Mangaian Love “Romantic”

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As noted elsewhere, Polynesian sex and love are more complex emotional phenomena than people in Western culture previously thought. Mangaian love presents an example of this.

Early anthropological research distorted the nature of Polynesian heterosexual relationships. They portrayed men and women as sexually obsessed and permissive in their sexual attitudes and behaviors. The stereotypical western picture, which downplayed the affectionate, emotional, and romantic feelings of the Pacific islanders, was quite inadequate.

Polynesian love in Mangaian culture was not only sexual but also romantic.

Anthropological studies in the later decades of the 20th century revealed a psychologically more complex notion of Polynesian love. Anthropologists found a clear indication that romantic features of emotional experience are evident, for example, in the case of Mangaian culture (e.g., Harris, 1995; see for review, Karandashev, 2017).

The Three Main Attributes that Made Mangaia Love “Romantic”

In another article, I explained the three key things that made Polynesian love in Mangaia romantic. These were

  • (1) intrusive thinking about the partner,
  • (2) a romantic perception of the beloved as an exceptional person, and
  • (3) a romantic idealization of the partner and the relationship.

Here are the other three attributes that made Polynesian Mangaian love “romantic.”

4. Reordering of Motivational Hierarchies in Mangaian Love

Romantic love transforms the motivational priorities guiding the lover’s perception, thinking, and actions. The lovers make choices and decisions based on a new set of values in which everything related to the beloved and the relationship takes precedence over almost everything else. Romantic love overshadows many other things that looked valuable before (Karandashev, 2017, 2019).

According to the interviews with many Mangaians, young men and women often felt a controversy between their own aspirations for a free choice of mate, based on their romantic ideals, on the one hand, and honor and respect for their parents, on the other hand. The young men and women often chose to pursue their love relationships despite the risk of losing their valuable family connections and support (Harris, 1995, p. 119).

In the case where parents oppose their own mate choices, young women and men frequently describe significant emotional distress. The conflicts between their romantic feelings on the one hand and their long-standing status in their kinship, family, and lineage on the other tore them apart.

The occasional cases of fatal consequences due to forced separation from the loved one and even the cases of suicide explain the romantic idea of placing love above life itself in Mangaian love. These instances represent the ultimate reordering of motivational hierarchies.

5. Emotional Dependency in Mangaian Love

If romantic love is reciprocal and mutual, its passionate fascination and admiration evolve into romantic closeness and emotional dependency. Lovers want to know each other better and deeper, to be physically and emotionally closer. They want more and more physical and psychological intimacy. The emotional states of lovers are often closely associated, reciprocated, and synchronized.

In the Mangaian language, an intense emotional response to separation from a beloved is called atingakau, meaning broken heart. The common symptoms of atingakau are a loss of appetite, an inability to sleep, and social isolation. In the case of men, it could be heavy drinking.

Young Mangaian women and men recognize that certain predictable emotional states arise in response to the status of a love relationship. Love can bring both happiness and sadness. Non-reciprocal affection, unrequited love, geographic distance, threats of separation from the beloved, or parental interference could cause their distressed emotions.

6. Care and Concern for the Other in Mangaian Love Relationships

Many western love scholars consider taking care of the loved one, caring about her or him, and expressing concern for the welfare of the beloved among the central features of romantic love (Karandashev, 2017, 2019).

It was also the case for many Mangaians, especially women (Harris, 1995). They believe that being in love means worrying about the well-being and safety of the beloved. Love also means the desire to contribute to their happiness.

For Mangaian women and men, care and concern in romantic love are related to the desire for union and intimacy (Harris, 1995, p. 120–121):

“Caring is not sim­ply an abstract concern for the welfare of the beloved but rather a concern connected to the desire to prevent separation and loss of access. Caring is ultimately defined by how it contributes to maintaining access, increasing intimacy, and fostering reciprocation. Underlying a deeply felt anxiety over the welfare and happiness of a lover is an understanding that the safety and happiness of the beloved are fundamental to maintaining proximity.”

Harris, 1995, p. 120–121

Thus, we can conclude that the field ethnographic study in Mangaia was among the first to discover a basic pattern of feelings characterized by romantic love in Polynesian Mangaian culture (Harris, 1995).

The pattern turned out to be quite like the Western scholarly conceptualization of romantic love (Karandashev, 2017, 2019).

Three Things Make Mangaian Love “Romantic”

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How romantic is Mangaian love? Mangaians are the Polynesian people living in the Cook Islands in the South Seas. The early studies of Polynesian love misrepresented Polynesian heterosexual relationship culture as sexually energetic and sensually obsessive, along with free sexual attitudes and behaviors.

In a stereotypical western picture, observers depicted Polynesians as the most sexually motivated people in the world. They fit the old expression,

“There is no sin below the equator.”

In another article, I describe What Polynesian love is.

Early observations downplayed affection and gave the wrong impression that people in the Pacific Islands did not experience emotional and romantic feelings. Recent studies from the 20th and 21st centuries document a more accurate picture of love in Polynesia. I presented it in the article what Polynesian love in Mangaia was.

Here is the case of Mangaian romantic love. What are the three key things that made Polynesian love in Mangaia romantic?

1. Intrusive Thinking About the Partner

The first key sign of passionate and romantic love is the cognitive preoccupation and intrusive thinking about the beloved and the relationship. Harris (1995), as well as other anthropologists, showed that Mangaian men and women often indicated such a state of mind when they talked about their lovers and love relationships.

It is typical for those in the early stages. Being cognitively preoccupied with the beloved, men and women tended to think about their loved ones again and again. The intrusive thoughts about the loved one interfered with the normal course of their daily life. The same intrusive thinking occurred during a forced separation. Their longing during separation made them compelled to seek proximity. 

2. The Romantic Perception of the Beloved as a Unique Individual

Western scholarship traditionally defines that the beliefs in the uniqueness of the beloved and the perception of him or her as distinctive from others, as a special and exceptional individual, are the essential features of truly romantic love (Karandashev, 2017, 2019).

Despite misrepresented early anthropological observations of “What Polynesian love is“, Harris (1995) and others discovered indirect and direct evidence that Mangaian men and women recognize their loved ones as especially attractive individuals who are distinct from others. Strong love attraction evolves between certain men and women rather than between others. They believe that their romantic liaisons are exceptional.

Young men may seek sexual opportunities whenever possible. Nonetheless, cautious young women look for a sign of “real love” (inangaro kino, etc.). Women recognize this “real love” as a man’s willingness to forsake all other sexual liaisons. Marriage is viewed as the ultimate manifestation of such exclusivity.

3. Romantic Idealization of the Partner and Relationship

Traditionally, Western scholars present romantic idealization as another defining quality that makes love truly romantic (Karandashev, 2017, 2019). This is the tendency of a lover to focus on the good qualities of the person they love and to ignore, pay less attention to, or make excuses for the bad qualities. 

According to anthropological observations, the Mangaian culture tends to publicly segregate boys and girls. Young men usually initiate secret relations, courtships, and premarital heterosexual relationships (e.g., Harris, 1995, see for review Karandashev, 2017).

How Do Young Mangaian Men Idealize Women?

Due to the segregated nature of intergender relationships, young Mangaian men often fall in love with young women by simply seeing them and conversing with them on rare occasions.

Therefore, physical beauty is what initially attracts many men to young women. A woman’s attractive face, flowing hair, and full hips charm a man, while he usually fills in the blanks about the other woman’s qualities. They were supposed to be as enchanting as their physical appearance.

The woman, however, generally thinks that her boyfriend was attracted to her because of her good nature and character. For example, here is how Harris (1995, p. 117) illustrates such an early idealization:

“Maara came to talk to me. He had been waiting, waiting for me to return from Rarotonga. He didn’t forget the time we were in school together. He said to me, “You know what? I’ve been looking at you. I’ve seen you going around.” Then he said that he loved me. He said he had fallen in love with me. Yes, seeing me all around, day and night, waiting for me. I asked him, “Why me?” He said he had seen how I was at school; how we laughed, how I shared with people. I’m just the one he’s looking at. He said his heart was hurting for me.”

How Do Mangaian Young Women Idealize Women? 

Mangaian women tend to be less idealistic and more practical in their heterosexual relationships. In the early stages of relationships, they are less prone to such romantic idealization in their perception of men. Their attitude of idealization toward the man often develops later, after the beginning of the courtship.

They are also inclined to ignore, neglect, or diminish, in their perception, the man’s imperfections and flaws. Interviews show that women tend to think positively about their men and their courtships. They focus on their appearance, skills, talents, and personality attributes:

“He was a very good fisherman; he was the best planter; he was a fine musician; he was kinder than the other men”.

Some women acknowledged that their men had the characteristics of womanizers. Nevertheless, they suspended their mistrust and perceived him as having a good image, despite their public reputation.

There are also The three other things that made the love of the Polynesian Mangaians “romantic”

Polynesian Love in Mangaian Culture

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Is Polynesian love the same as that in Western European and North American cultures? For a long time, love was considered an exclusively Western concept. According to Western European and North American scholars, ethnographic studies of love add little value to understanding “Western” culture and behavior in love.

However, the purpose of cultural anthropology is to challenge the conventional Western understanding of love. As anthropologists Nelson and Jankowiak noted,

“A principle objective of anthropology is to challenge cultural stereotypes and, through participant observation, bring to light the differences between what people do and what they claim to do.”

Jankowiak, W., & Nelson, A. J. (2021). The state of ethnological research on love: A critical review. In  Mayer, C. H., & Vanderheiden, E. (eds). International handbook of love: Transcultural and transdisciplinary perspectives, 23-39.

Cultural Anthropology of Love in the South Seas

Cultural anthropologists began to pay attention to Mangaia and Samoa in the South Seas in the second half of the 20th century. These two islands are in the Central Pacific in the South Seas. Mangaian culture was interesting in many regards.

Unfortunately, the population of those islands and the number of people representing those cultures have been diminishing in recent decades. Nonetheless, such a comparison with other cultures, which we regard as modernized societies, is necessary in order to better understand the cultural diversity of love. 

Let us consider the case of Mangaian love. The early studies of American cultural anthropologists Margaret Mead and Marshall Sahlins and the Swedish anthropologist Bengt Danielsson documented the cultural life of Polynesians in the South Seas.

How Anthropologists Portrayed Sexual Love in Early Polynesian Studies

Those studies sent the message that the islanders didn’t seem to have romantic ideas or emotional experiences of love. Those anthropological observations downplayed affection in Mangaian men’s and women’s relationships. They tend to minimize love emotions in accounts of Polynesian life (see for review, Karandashev, 2017).

Mangaian’s intimate relationships were reduced to sexual obsession and a series of one-night stands. Endleman (1989) summarized those findings as follows:

“Sexual activities [on Mangaia] approach being a national pleasure, in which both males and females participate enthusiastically…. There is no indication whatev­er of anything at all like romantic love involved, only sexual attraction. All the Mangaians place great value on erotic technique, none on any affection or caring between sexual partners, preceding sexual encounter.”

(p. 57).

What Was Real Love in Polynesian Mangaia?

The later studies of the 1970s through 1990s showed that love among Polynesian Mangaians was more complex and sophisticated (e.g., Gerber, 1975; Freeman, 1983; Harris, 1995; Levy, 1973). 

The authors recorded the diverse lexicon of love words that the Mangaians had:

“Maoris have heaps of words for falling in love, but the Europeans have only one”

(Harris, 1995).

As I noted in another post, the Mangaian word inangaro is interpreted broadly as “needing, liking, wanting, and loving.” Referring to a male-female relationship, the word “inangaro” expresses the feelings that inside you. It is the real love for someone from within, from your heart. These feelings make young boys and girls want to get married. A premarital period gives them an opportunity to know this.

Freedom of Sexual Intimacy in Polynesian Mangaian Love

Mangaians, in their heterosexual relationships, are free and open in their sexual expression both before and after marriage. Polynesian attitudes toward sexual freedom and the pursuit of sexual pleasure are culturally normative. For example, when girls and boys like each other, they usually sleep together. They want to enjoy themselves.

Western missionaries made vigorous and sustained efforts to indoctrinate the opposite disposition toward love. Nevertheless, indigenous people in Mangaia and other Pacific societies retained their cultural views on sexual pleasure. Religious missionaries were able to convert them to Christianity. Nevertheless, Polynesians followed their ancestors’ beliefs that sex is a natural and pleasurable aspect of life. They believed that premarital sex, if it is practiced discreetly, is an appropriate part of post-adolescent and premarital times.

The Courtship of the Young Mangaian Boys and Girls

Ethnographic observations showed that the Mangaians’ courtship was not just the practice of experimenting with physical and sexual intimacy. During that time, girls and boys were establishing close emotional relationships. The courtship process could remain chaste for weeks or months, while the development of emotional intimacy in many cases precedes sexual engagement.

It was essential that the interest, desire, emotions, and sexual intimacy be reciprocated. Mangaians believed that intimacy could be achieved only with the willingness of both a girl and a boy to consent to physical and emotional contact. In many conversations during courtship, boys and girls focus on how each person feels about their relationship. Such communication gave the lovers a chance to see how real and strong their feelings were between them (Harris, 1995).

What Is Polynesian Love?

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Many western scholars have traditionally believed that love is a uniquely western concept. Some researchers attempted to demonstrate that love was absent or had a low value in other cultures, especially in the cultural groups in Polynesia. Later ethnographic studies, however, challenged that old western preconception of love (see for review, Karandashev, 2017). Let us summarize anthropological accounts of Polynesian love.

The Sexual Culture of Polynesian Love

Several ethnographic studies of the 20th century provided anthropological accounts of Polynesian love and sex (Danielsson, 1956/1986; Marshall, 1962, 1971; Mead, 1935/1963; Mead & Boas, 1928; Russell, 1961; Suggs, 1962; see review in Karandashev, 2017).

The most important parts of Polynesian sexual culture, according to these studies, were an active sexual life and freedom of sexual behavior. From those studies, Polynesians became known in anthropology as the most sexually motivated people in the world.

The cultural standards of beauty in Polynesia, however, were very different from western conventions of physical beauty. The flat-nosed, round beauties with fat bodies were viewed as the most beautiful ones.

Early Accounts of Sexual Love in Polynesian Culture

The anthropological accounts, which started with the early Polynesian studies of American cultural anthropologist Margaret Mead (1901–1978), characterized Polynesians as emotionally stunted yet actively sexual people.

Margaret Mead published her case studies of Polynesian societies in her books, Coming of Age in Samoa: A Study of Sex in Primitive Societies and Sex and Temperament in Three Primitive Societies. In those books, she described the males and females in those cultures who engaged in intimate relationships solely based on their sexual attraction and performance. They seemed to know little about falling in love.

The Swedish anthropologist of the 20th century, Bengt Danielsson, in his book, “Love in the South Seas,” gave another early snapshot of love, marriage, childbirth, and childrearing in Polynesian society. He was a crew member on the Kon-Tiki raft expedition to French Polynesia in 1947 and presented to the western public how people in Polynesia lived and loved in the times before the Polynesian societies began to change with globalization. 

Marshall Sahlins, an American anthropologist who lived from 1930 to 2021, also did a study of sexual behavior in the Cook Islands in the 1950s. In his report, he presented a detailed portrait of Polynesians as fundamentally sexual beings. He found that “copulation is a principal concern of the Mangaian of either sex” (1971, p. 123). The Marshall study (1971) recorded a large Mangaian sexual vocabulary as evidence of the islanders’ concern with sex. However, the author did not mention a variety of Mangaian terms for love.

Polynesian Love Transcends Sexual Love

However, the anthropological studies of Gerber (1975) and Freeman (1983) on Samoa, as well as the study of Levy (1973) on Tahiti, corrected (to a certain degree) the misrepresentation of the emotional life in Pacific cultures.

Later, H. Harris (1995) conducted a field study in Polynesia (Mangaia, Cook Islands) and argued that romantic love was absent in Mangaia. The field study indicated that Mangaians actually have a rich emotional and love lexicon.

H. Harris (1995) showed how Mangaian men and women were emotionally and physically engaged in relationships. He characterized their love as comparable to the descriptions of romantic love in Western scholarly publications. Harris’s description of Mangaian love syndrome presented it as a set of emotional features overlapping, interacting, and being integrated with each other the same way in Western depictions of love. However, H. Harris (1995) also showed how the Mangaian version of love is different from the basic pattern found by American researchers.

Lexicon of Polynesian Love: Example of Mangaia

The author recorded that Mangaians had diverse words for love. “Maoris have heaps of words for falling in love, but the Europeans have only one.” (Harris, 1995, p. 106).

For example, inangaro is a flexible word interpreted broadly as “needing, wanting, liking, or loving.” The typical way to say “I love you” in Mangaian is “Tе inangaro tikai nei au iaau”. However, if a person wants to express exactly the experience of falling or being deeply in love, he or she selects from the derivatives of love: inangaro kino, matemate te inangaro, and pau te inangaro. All of these words show that they are sure and honest about how much they love each other (p. 107).

Variations of inangaro express sexual interaction, intrusive thinking, intimacy, reciprocity, exclusivity, and reordering of priorities—all central features of love, not just sex.