Category Archives: physical beauty

Erotic Love in Cultures Around the World

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Many laypeople and academics are interested in sexual and erotic themes. The topics of this kind are related to how people experience and express love.

As I said in another article, love and sex are intimately interconnected and sometimes difficult to distinguish. For their better understanding, several questions should be answered. Among those are: What is sex? What is love? What is sexual love? What is erotic love? I recently explained what erotic love is. Here I talk about erotic love across human cultures.

Erotic Art and Erotic Love

People had sex from the early origins of human evolution. It was natural and biologically embedded in their species. However, erotic love appeared on the scene with the onset of culture.

The cultural ideas of erotic art and literature have been depicted in painting, sculpture, music, songs, dances, theater, and fashion design. These artistic mediums conveyed the aesthetic values of body shape and movement, the structure and expressiveness of the face, and the melody and rhythm of music and singing.

What is “erotic” in erotic love?

In the same way that erotic art does, erotic love characterizes the physical attractiveness of a person and the setting in which they are situated. A person who is feeling erotic love looks at the body with admiration. He or she perceives the beautiful body as “nude” rather than “naked.”

Look at the dictionaries, and you’ll see the meaningful differences between the two. The impression of a beloved’s nude form is about the presence of his or her attractive physique, but the impression of a naked figure is about the absence of clothes. Both can have various connotations hidden beneath the surface.

When you are in a museum of sculpture and painting, you look at the nude figures and admire their beauty. Looking at a nude figure in the museum, you don’t experience sexual arousal every single time, don’t you? It is because you experience erotic love, not a sexual one. You experience erotic feelings, but usually non-sexual ones. Both together are not compatible in that context.

In the same way, when you are alone with your beloved being without clothes in bed, looking at her or him, you see them nude and experience erotic feelings. Yet, you don’t feel sexual arousal every single time you look at them. You feel erotic rather than sexual love.

At another time, however, you can experience both erotic and sexual love for them, perceiving them both naked and nude. One of these experiences can prevail over another or not. 

Two Examples of How Erotic Love Was Represented in European and Eastern Cultures of the Past

In the course of the history of art across different cultures, a wide variety of cultural models of erotic art and erotic love have been portrayed. Both men and women were depicted as the objects of erotic love in ancient Greek and Roman art, as well as in Indian art, yet in different cultural contexts and settings. They can still be seen today in the form of paintings and sculptures in the museums of the world.

European Examples of Erotic Art

The depiction of nude women and men in art during the Renaissance period was fashionable and generally conveyed positive associations. Erotic images of women and men can be found in the works of many poets and painters. In nude figures, artists personified their ideals of beauty, graciousness, soul, and love. During the Renaissance, great artists like Giorgione, Leonardo, Titian, Michelangelo, and Veronese created works that praised erotic beauty.

For instance, the “Venus of Urbino” painting depicted “a humanly beautiful nude woman whose pose is borrowed from the idealized beauty of Gorgione’s “Sleeping Venus.” This love allegory represents a European cultural model of love of that time, depicting the victory of love over temptation and time (Grabski, 1999, p.9).

Eastern Examples of Erotic Art

The Sanskrit aesthetic philosophy and art of Indian culture elevated the feeling of “shringara,” one of the nine rasas. “Shringara” means “erotic love” as an attraction to beauty. This feeling is related to the feeling of “rati,” meaning passionate love and sexual pleasure. Nevertheless, these two feelings are still emotionally different.

The love lyrics in Sanskrit and ancient Indian paintings and sculptures beautifully portrayed the stunning pictures of shringara, an Indian culture of “erotic love.” The concept was described as being evidently different from “kama” as presented in ancient Indian medical literature. The diverse feelings of kama were about desires and sensual pleasures of the body (Orsini 2006, p. 10). The Kamasutra, an old Sanskrit text dated to 400 BCE–200 CE, presented a lot of ancient Indian knowledge and wisdom about sexuality, erotic pleasure, and emotional pleasure. This literary text identified and vividly described four types of sexual experiences. Those distinctively referred to sex, sexual love, erotic love, or associated feelings.

What Is Erotic Love?

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What is love? What is sex? What is sexual love? And what is erotic love?

For love studies to be truly scientific, there are a lot of scholarly questions that need to be answered. As I noted in another article, love and sex are inextricably linked to one another. Yet, there are several concepts related to these two that researchers should distinguish in this field of research. One of those is the concept of “erotic love.”

What is “sex” and what is “sexual love”?

The concepts of “sex” and “sexual love” have different phenomenology. Even though they may have behaviorally similar forms and expressions, they play their distinct psychological roles and associated with difference experiences (Karandashev, 2022a). How different are they?

“Sexual desire” is easily aroused, fleeting, and short-lived. Any sexually attractive individual is capable of satisfying sexual desire.”

“Sexual love” is a collection of more intimate and complicated feelings related to a certain other person. Only a specific individual can fulfill a person’s sexual urge.”

What is “love,” what is “eros,” and what is “erotic love”?

Love is directly yet intricately connected with sexual and erotic feelings. According to numerous stories, novels, and movies, both men and women have a preference for the beautiful and handsome. Such expectations are in their romantic dreams. Love and eroticism in life are tied to each other in many different ways (Featherstone, 1998).

The word “erotic” originates from the Greek word eros (érōs). The ancient Greek “eros” first emerged in the sense of aesthetic appreciation and yearning for beauty (Lomas, 2018). In modern scholarship and public opinion, however, this word often takes a different twist of meaning, associated with sexual and passionate connotations (see for review, Karandashev, 2019).

In ancient Greek origins, the concept of érōs is intimately linked with epithymia (as sexual love). However, both describe different emotional experiences. The word érōs conveys meaning beyond physical sexual desire. The word érōs implies a broader meaning—an appreciation of beauty.

Because the attractive appearance of a man or a woman easily triggers these feelings, the word certainly conveys connotations with emotions of passionate love (Tillich, 1954). Other subtle differences which scholars convince us to make are (1) the difference between elation of romantic sex-esthetic attraction and sexual arousal of sexual desire, and (2) the difference between non-sexual affectionate sexual love (Grant, 1976).

The Love of Beauty Is Erotic

“Erotic love” means that a lover perceives his or her beloved as a beautiful object worthy of aesthetic admiration. “Erotic love is about aesthetic pleasure, while sexual love is about sensual (sexual) pleasure.” (Karandashev, 2022a).

Both are certainly closely intertwined. In sexually stimulating situations, erotic can easily transition to sensual and sexual experiences. People frequently perceive erotic love as inextricably linked to sexual and passionate love. Such a mixing of these experiences is natural for complex human emotions. However, some people consider a partner’s attractive body, face, expressions, and other appearances to be “sexy,” while others consider them to be “beautiful.” It is an individual yet culturally determined experience associated with personal dominant motivations that the lover has in mind at the time. It can be a strong or moderate sexual drive. It can be the cultural values of a society that stress being “sexy” or being “beautiful.”

Multisensory Erotic Attraction

When a man or a woman experiences erotic love, the lover admires the beloved for his or her attractive physical appearance as perceived through various sensory impressions: visual, auditory, tactile-kinesthetic, olfactory, and gustatory. Interpersonal perception of lovers involves multisensory processes and several sensory impressions that are inextricably linked with each other (Karandashev et al., 2016, 2020). The dynamics of interaction are also involved. Men and women not only passively admire their partners, but also approach them, speak, sing, dance, touch each other, smile, hug, cuddle, kiss, and so on. Such dynamic expressive behavior often tells them more about erotic attractiveness than static body and facial appearance.

All of these perceptions and aesthetic qualities merge to produce what we call “erotic attraction” and “erotic love.” A lover admires his or her beloved for having attractive erotic impressions (Karandashev, 2022a).

Can you recognize erotic love from the facial expression of another person?

According to studies, people generally distinguish the faces of people experiencing love from those experiencing other emotions such as joy, sadness, anger, and fear. They can also recognize specific types of love, such as erotic love and tender love experienced by another person. Both erotic love and tender love have different facial expressions from joy and each other. A person expresses erotic love in semi-closed eyes, while tender love is expressed through a slight head tilt and a slight smile (Bloch, Orthous, & Santibanez, 1987; Hatfield & Rapson, 1993).

Did Personal Beauty Matter in Sexual Selection among Savages?

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Modern theories of sexual selection have stressed the importance of physical beauty for mating preferences in contemporary societies. However, according to early studies, physical appearance is of greater importance for men looking for women than for women looking for men.

It was interpreted from a presumed evolutionary perspective, as some researchers suggested. According to their theory, youth and beauty are the signals of fertility in women—what presumably men want in their female mates to produce more offspring.

For some reason, these researchers did not mention an esthetical pleasure that could drive such sexual selection of men.

These researchers also suggested that, on the other hand, women look for resourceful men for mating preferences. Such a preference presumably has a sexual selection underpinning. The researchers also suggested that for women, the physical appearance of men matters much less. In another post on this blog, I talked about how the importance of physical appearance and good looks varies between men and women.

This set of theoretical assumptions and interpretations leaves room for discussion, which is outside the scope of this article (see Karandashev, 2022a for a detailed look at the question).

Here I would rather invite you to look at the anthropological observations of the 19th century that reported how physical beauty mattered for sexual selection among savages who were much closer to our biological evolutionary roots. Let us look into the brief review presented in the book of Henry Finck—one of the old archival treasures of love scholarship of that time (Finck, 1887/2019).

Sensual love was involved in sexual selection and mating of savages

Henry Finck came to the conclusion that “love” was an emotion unknown to savages of the past. And it was frequently cited in the works of 19th-century anthropologists and travelers. He provided a number of observations and remarks on the topic.

In the “courtship” types of “capture-wife,” “purchase,” and “service“ widely practiced in the savage societies of the past, women and men had limited freedom of selection of their mating partners.

Yet, in many other primitive tribes, men and women had much more freedom of choice. Other anthropologists suggested an alternative view of savage love. They reported that in some tribes, the savages were quite capable of falling in love and forming passionate, tender, and faithful attachments.

Freedom of selection was more common among the lower races. In such instances, girls had a lot of freedom to accept or reject a potential suitor. Henry Finck cited several anthropological observations of this kind. Charles Darwin also noted that women in barbarous tribes had the power to choose, reject, and tempt their lovers. And afterwards, they could change their husbands.

What role did personal beauty play in these mate selections?

Primitive Women of the Past Chose Men with Personal Beauty

The data evidence for this was scant, yet available. As Henry Finck cited,

Azara “describes how carefully a Guana woman bargains for all sorts of privileges before accepting some one or more husbands; and the men in consequence take unusual care of their personal appearance.”

Another example is among the Kaffirs:

“very ugly, though rich men, have been known to fail in getting wives. The girls, before consenting to be betrothed, compel the men to show themselves off first in front and then behind, and ‘exhibit their paces.’”

Darwin, for example, tries to show that men’s custom of having beards is a result of sexual selection by women (Finck, 1887/1902/2019).

It should be noted, however, that women generally chose not the most handsome men, but rather those whose pugnacity, boldness, and virility promised that they would provide the surest protection against enemies. General domestic delights were also taken into account.

Here is one example:

 “before he is allowed to marry, a young Dyack must prove his bravery by bringing back the head of an enemy”

Here is another example:

when the Apaches warriors return unsuccessful, “the women turn away from them with assured indifference and contempt. They are upbraided as cowards, or for want of skill and tact, and are told that such men should not have wives.”

(Finck, 1887/1902/2019, p. 61).

As Henry Finck honestly admitted,

“the greatest amount of health, vigour, and courage generally coincide with the greatest physical beauty; hence the continued preference of the most energetic and lusty men by the superior women who have a choice, has naturally tended to evolve a superior type of manly beauty.”

(Finck, 1887/1902/2019, p. 61).

Primitive Men of the Past Chose Women with Personal Beauty

The cases of men, as sexual selection theory predicts, are much more probable than the cases of women exemplified above. Men frequently chose their wives based on aesthetic beauty standards. As Henry Finck noted, throughout the world’s societies, the chiefs of tribes usually had more than one wife.

For instance, as Mr. Mantell told Darwin, almost every girl in New Zealand at that time who was pretty was tapu to some chief.

According to the evidence of Mr. Hamilton, among the Kaffirs

“the chiefs generally have the pick of the women for many miles round, and are most persevering in establishing or confirming their privilege.”

(Quoted by Finck, 1887/1902/2019, p. 61).

In Some Savage Tribes, Personal Beauty Was Less Important

However, the value of personal beauty varied in primitive societies of the past. In the lower tribes, “communal marriage” and “marriage by capture” prevailed. So, aesthetic preferences and the choice of beauty were much less important.

The importance of physical appearance and personal beauty increased only in less pugnacious tribes, such as the Dyacks and the Samoans. The children in those tribes of the Dyacks “had the freedom implied by regular courtship.”

The children in the tribes of the Samoans “had the degree of independence implied by elopements when they could not obtain parental assent to their marriage” (Spencer, as cited by Finck, 1887/1902/2019, p. 61).

The Unusual Beauty Standards of Savage People

Sexual selection among the lower races, however, was often not good because men and women selecting their mates had bad aesthetic taste. The beauty standards of those savage people were of primitive taste. They selected those not with harmonious proportion and capacity for expression but rather with exaggeration:

“The negro woman has naturally thicker lips, more prominent cheek-bones, and a flatter nose than a white woman; and in selecting a mate, preference is commonly given to the one whose lips are thickest, nose most flattened, and cheek-bones most prominent: thus producing gradually that monster of ugliness—the average negro woman.”

(Finck, 1887/1902/2019, p. 61).

It should be honestly admitted, however, that judging their aesthetic taste and claiming that our contemporary taste of beauty is better is not right and not fair.

Sensuous Beauties of Savages

Thus, we see in this article that the admiration of personal beauty added a certain aesthetic overtone to the amorous feelings of savages. However, it was only the sensuous aspect of personal beauty. This admiration was purely physical. The intellectual and moral facets of beauty were unknown to them.

Many savage men married their chosen girls when they were still mere children. It was before their slightest sparks of mental charm.

Therefore, those savage men did not see the qualities which could illumine “her features and impart to them a superior beauty; and subsequently, when experience had somewhat sharpened her intellectual powers.”

Later in her life, however, “hard labour had already destroyed all traces of her physical beauty, so that the combination of physical and mental charms which alone can inspire the highest form of love was never to be found in primitive woman.” (Finck, 1887/1902/2019, p. 61).

African Love of the Taita People in Kenya

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The Taita are a group of East African ethnic groups who have lived in Kenya for four or five centuries. They are also known as the Wataita or the Wadawida. The Taita are predominantly highland farmers who live in a mountainous region of southern Kenya. The social life of the Taita tribes is structured by autonomous clans, including families. The clans are separate social groups that inhabit their own hilly territories. Early ethnographic reports of African life and gender relations were full of sexuality. They did not mention anything about love in relationships between women and men. Therefore, anthropologists once believed Africans could only love sexually. This initial ethnocentric misunderstanding of Westerners was the most typical way Europeans and Americans viewed African gender relations (Bell, 1995; Kenyatta, 1938/1953; Jablow & Hammond, 1977).

Acculturation of East African Love

European missionaries judged the “native” and natural sexuality of Africans as primitive. They taught them Western moral notions of Christian virtues and marital values. Missionaries preached “appropriate” sexual behavior and righteous family life. The Taita folk concepts of sex, lust, and love were refined and acculturized to some degree by European cultural influences. In East African culture, Western and African indigenous beliefs, traditions, and values blend somehow.

Unexpected Indigenous Taita Love

However, more attentive and culturally sensitive research revealed that East African cultures had their own native notions not only about sex and lust but also about love, even before Europeans arrived. They told their own love stories for years (Bell, 1995).

Anthropologist Jim Bell (1995) conducted a field study of lust, love, and romantic ideals among the Taita of Kenya, East Africa. Based on his observations, he argues that passionate and romantic love existed in Africa before the advent of Christian missionaries. These ideas and practices have been natural parts of African culture for a very long time, prior to European contact. Also, love for marriage might not be a new idea in the Taita culture.

Bell asserts that romantic love has always been a part of Taita culture. Love affairs, along with native sexual relationships, have been common in Taita daily life. In their interviews, Taita men and women explained that the words “ashiki” for desire and “pendo” for love existed before early European contact.

East African Love of Kenya

Anthropologist Jim Bell found that the Taita young people of Kenya chose their mates based on affection, physical attraction, and love. For example, younger Taita women liked to become involved with a “chosen lover,” who was usually someone their own age. Most of the time, physical appearance, sexual attractiveness, and passionate affection are certainly involved in these kinds of relationships. Some of these relationships endure for a lifetime (Bell, 1995).

Here is another Kenyan example of indigenous love. The Kikuyu people, a large Bantu ethnic group of Central Kenya, have always been allowed to choose a partner without parental influence on either side. (Kenyatta, 1938/1953, p. 165). Kenyatta, a native Kikuyu who was Oxford-educated, contended that in traditional Kikuyu society, young people relied on “love” in their mate selection. It was, however, in their traditional cultural ways. When a “boy falls in love with a girl, he cannot tell her directly that he loves her or display his devotion to her in public, as this would be regarded by Gikuyu [or Kikuyu] as impolite and uncultured” (1959, p. 165).

In the early accounts of missionaries and anthropologists about how the “natives” behaved sexually, this kind of relationship was either ignored or not mentioned at all.

East African Love for Marriage

The Taita young men preferred to mate with beautiful young women. It was a factor in choosing a potential spouse. The young Taita woman, on the other hand, preferred to mate with a young man who was a smart person, a good farmer, and a provider for a family. Evidently, a man’s physical appearance was less important in mate selection than compared to his personality.

Men placed more emphasis on physical characteristics than women did on personality and social position. However, the view of what is beautiful and desirable in a partner differed in the perception of men and women. And these differences affected the partners they chose.

Both men and women in Taita desire partners who display culturally appropriate graces (Bell, 1995). Men and women in the Taita culture distinguish three types of love.

Cultural Ideals of Love for West African Men and Women in the Mid-20th Century

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Miss Silva, in her “Milady’s Bower” column of the West African Pilot newspaper in the mid-20th century, also talked about gender identity and the gendering of modern love at that time. Her readers and she discussed the cultural ideals of love for West African men and women.

The main point of advice on gendered love was that women did not love the same way as men did.

The gendered nature of love, as represented in the press, was, on the one hand, due to presumed universal biological differences between men and women and, on the other hand, due to cultural gender expectations learned in a Western African social context.

The public media portrayed corresponding gender roles in love and relationships. The gendered advice on love is clear in the way a woman or man is portrayed in terms of how they act, look, and stay calm.

Here are some poetic depictions of romantic women’s love. They represent the widespread notion that women are more passionate and devoted than men:

“A woman’s love is unquenchable. It lasts while she lives. I am not sure whether she ceases to love after death”

(quoted by Aderinto, 2015, p. 496).

or

“Man’s love is of man’s life a thing apart.” / “Tis woman’s whole existence.”

(quoted by Aderinto, 2015, p. 496).

The reference to men’s gendered nature was coined by another phrase describing men as inconsistent and unreliable in their love affairs.

These gendered typologies of love experiences and dispositions were evident in the different advice for men and women that Miss Silva gave.

What Were the Cultural Ideals of Love for West African Men in the Mid-20th Century?

A West African idea of “gentleman” shaped the modern masculinity of Nigerian urban men. Miss Silva portrayed the modern ideal man’s appearance conventions but noted that a man should value manners over looks. She praised the men’s good attitudinal and behavioral traits. To be a true modern lover, a man must be a “gentleman” and not be pretentious (Aderinto, 2015).

Modern West African men at that time needed more than gentlemanliness to attract and keep women. A good-looking appearance was not enough to get a girlfriend. Men must go to dance parties and movies. Miss Silva believed that when meeting a girl, a man’s behavior determined their chances of her falling in love with him.

Miss Silva believed that men’s faults were the cause of many broken relationships. She said that, in general, men aren’t as emotional as women and don’t have as much depth. Men say clearly what they think and feel in a relationship (Aderinto, 2015).

What Were the Cultural Ideals of Love for West African Women in the Mid-20th Century?

“Miss Silva” advised women on their modern gender identity and the new type of femininity, different from traditional rural patriarchal society. She encouraged them to pursue what represented normative modern womanhood and girlhood at that time. “Miss Silva” suggested that modern love was still gendered, but in a modern way (Aderinto, 2015).

Educating future African women was a good way to introduce modern female ideals. Miss Silva advised that a modern woman shouldn’t sacrifice her femininity for masculine attitudes and actions. She encouraged gender equality. However, while advocating for the abandonment of gender stereotypes, she discouraged women from losing their feminine qualities.

Modern West African women follow modern social norms in life, behavior, and relationships. They should be educated, self-sufficient, and employed. They need to be reserved and confident.

Miss Silva suggested that modern women’s lifestyles and demeanors should not be too British or African. An African woman had to find a good balance between European and African cultural traditions to be a good woman in the modern world.

Good women favor a relationship with decent, respectable, and responsible men. Miss Silva believed that a modern young woman should modernize long-held roles and old-fashioned ways of forming male-female relationships. Modern women no longer have to wait for a man to ask them out on a date. They should be confident in their ability to initiate a relationship in a gentle and subtle manner.

Miss Silva suggested that the psychological consequences of such an initiative for women should be positive rather than negative. Telling a potential attractive man how she feels is more important. Miss Silva encouraged women to talk about their feelings and break free from the “captivity of love.” She believed that the conspiracy of silence caused a lot of trouble in the past and should turn to a modern culture of relationships.

“Miss Silva” told pretty young women not to make the mistake of thinking that being beautiful was enough. The beautiful can be selfish and cold-hearted, so they may look unapproachable and unloved. Miss Silva said that being “simple” was more important than being beautiful. In conversation, women must be able to listen kindly to whatever a man has to say to her. They can respectfully refuse to listen to whatever it is without being rude.

When they are married, they should follow the virtues of contemporary African womanhood. They should become involved in church and community activities (Aderinto, 2015).

What Is Attractive About Your Body? Cultural Standards of Physical Beauty Across the World

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Throughout the history of human societies, the images of beauty and physical attractiveness of human faces and bodies have been pervasive in art, sculpture, poetry, and songs in the diversity of their forms. Some of them were erotic and sexually explicit, while others were not.

These days, beautiful faces and bodies are everywhere around us in pop culture, thanks to books, magazines, movies, television, and commercials. Certain cultural standards of physical beauty have been pretty well established in Western societies and have propagated into many other countries.

“What Is Sexy Is Beautiful“

The word “sexy” seems to have taken the place of the “old-fashioned” word “beautiful” in the vocabulary of modernized cultures. On many occasions, people think that looking “sexy” actually means “looking beautiful.” The cultural sublimation of beautiful and attractive to “sexy” is quite evident, especially among the younger generation of men and women. Oh, well…

The ideas of beauty and physical attractiveness have been persistent in art, sculpture, poetry, and songs throughout centuries of human civilizations. In recent times, books, magazines, movies, television, and commercials have flooded us with beautiful images everywhere.

For ethnocentric Westerners and their followers, it may sometimes look like these cultural standards of “what is sexually attractive” are universal and omnipresent. North American and European researchers have extensively studied the optimal proportions of bodily and facial beauty that men and women perceive as sexy and beautiful.

What kind of body is sexually attractive?

Scientists discovered three key body shape parameters that are sexually appealing across cultures. These body qualities are waist-to-hip ratio (WHR), height or sexual dimorphism in stature (SDS), and leg-to-body ratio (LBR). Researchers think that people find some women and men more attractive than others because of how their bodies look. And this perception is natural and cross-culturally universal.

The Waist-To-Hip Ratio and Body Mass Index

The low waist-to-hip ratio of the body is one of the well-known body qualities of female attractiveness. These attributes of the female body seem to be cross-culturally similar. Researchers found evidence that people perceive these body qualities as attractive in the United States, several European countries, the African countries of Guinea Bissau and Cameroon, and in the countries of Southeast Asia and Oceania, such as Indonesia and Papua New Guinea (e.g., Dixson et al., 2007; Dixson, Sagata et al., 2010; Furnham, Tan, & McManus, 1997; Rozmus-Wrzesinska & Pawlowski, 2005; Singh, 1993; Singh, 2004; Singh & Luis, 1995; see, for review, Sorokowski et al., 2012).

However, anthropological studies in subsistence-based hunter-gatherer societies, such as the Hadza tribe from Tanzania in Africa, the Shiwiar people of Ecuador, and the Matsiguenka people of Peru in South America, perceive female bodies with higher body mass and a high waist-to-hip ratio as more sexually attractive (e.g., Cassidy, 1991; Marlowe & Wetsman, 2001; Sugiyama, 2004; Wetsman & Marlowe, 1999; Yu & Shepard, 1998; see, for review, Sorokowski et al., 2012). 

Body Height and Sexual Dimorphism in Stature

As for height or sexual dimorphism in stature, the well-known “male-taller norm” seems culturally ubiquitous in many Western societies. Women tend to prefer men who are somewhat taller than themselves as potential sexual and mating partners. On the other hand, men prefer women who are slightly shorter than themselves. However, in mating preferences, body height is important in relative rather than absolute measures. Men and women prefer partners taller or shorter than themselves. Men and women tend to adjust their preferences for sexual dimorphism in stature based on what their own physical height is.

However, as we can see on the streets of American and European cities, not all men and women follow this Western “male-taller norm.” Some people appear to prefer relationships in which the woman is slightly taller than the man.

In some other societies, the cultural norms also differ from the “male-taller norm.” For example, in the Hadza culture of Tanzania and the Himba people of northern Namibia in Africa, and in the Yali culture of Papua, people have different preferences. Among the Hadza people, the wives are usually taller than the husbands, while among the Himba people, men and women prefer mating partners of the same height as themselves. Among the Yali tribe, people in their perception follow the “male-taller norm.” However, it is far weaker than in Western cultures (Sear & Marlowe, 2009; Sorokowski et al., 2012; another new Sorokowski et al., 2012).

The Leg-To-Body Ratio

As for the leg-to-body ratio, it is commonly known by many Westerners that women and men with long legs look more attractive than those with short legs. Many people perceive a relatively high leg-to-body ratio in women’s and men’s bodies as attractive. Yet, this ratio is not supposed to be extremely high. Both men and women who have legs that are too long or too short are seen as less attractive.

Societies vary in the cultural norms of what leg-to-body ratio is viewed as sexually attractive. According to studies, European, Canadian, and African people tend to perceive bodies with a high leg-to-body ratio as attractive. On the other hand, Latin American people perceive bodies with a low leg-to-body ratio as more attractive. In other societies, the cultural “norms” were variable, different for men and women, and often inconsistent enough for any definite conclusions.

In some countries, expectations of an attractive leg-to-body ratio differ for women and men. On the one hand, women are perceived as more attractive with a relatively high leg-to-body ratio. On the other hand, men with a low leg-to-body ratio are seen as more attractive (e.g., Swami, Einon, & Furnham, 2007).

Takeaway Message

It should be noted that the results of many studies on the body’s sexual attractiveness are inconsistent and sometimes controversial. So, it is hard to believe that there are some universally attractive body characteristics. I believe what is considered “normative” in terms of preferences varies depending on ecological and cultural factors.

Another major drawback of many studies is that researchers investigate the attractiveness of figures and bodies outside of relationships. The findings show what people generally like and what they don’t. They don’t study who they love and who they don’t in the context of relationships. Who the person is makes a difference.

The saying “what is beautiful is good” is right. But it is also right that “what is good is beautiful.” We shall keep in mind that “beauty is only skin-deep.” A good personality often overshadows the body’s appearance.

Of course, a man or woman loves their loved one because he or she is beautiful. But not only for that. The wisdom is that the loved one looks beautiful to them because they love him or her. Our love makes them beautiful.

Physically Attractive Men and Women in Different Cultures

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Many men and women expect to get into mating or sexual relationships with partners who are “physically attractive,” “looking good enough,” or at least “not bad looking.” Many cultures recognize the cultural significance of women’s feminine beauty to men. Nevertheless, the masculine beauty of men is also important for women (Karandashev, 2022).

How Important Is It to Be Physically Attractive in Various Cultures?

Most scientific studies of physical attractiveness have taken place in Western and industrialized Asian countries. People in mainstream North American and European societies, as well as those in Australia and New Zealand, highly value physical attractiveness for relationships between men and women. Cultural norms in these societies have particularly high expectations of female attractiveness.

However, far fewer studies have been conducted in other societies around the world. According to scientific studies from other countries and remote tribal societies, the importance of beauty is not universal, and beauty standards differ across cultures. People in different Asian and African societies, such as Korea in Southeast Asia and Ghana in Africa, place less emphasis on attractive physical appearance. According to cultural anthropology, people in tribal subsistence-based societies also pay less attention to the physical appearance of their mates (Anderson et al., 2008; Wheeler & Kim, 1997; see, for review, Karandashev, 2017; 2022).

Is the Stereotype “What Is Beautiful Is Good” True in Different Cultures?

In many societies, people have the widespread, persistent, and powerful stereotype that “what is beautiful is good” (Dion, Berscheid, & Walster, 1972; Hatfield & Rapson, 2000; Lemay, et al., 2010; Lorenzo, et al., 2010).

Many women and men believe that a partner’s attractive physical appearance reflects other positive characteristics such as kindness, a pleasing disposition, emotional stability, dependable character, maturity, and intelligence (Fugère, Madden, & Cousins, 2019; Yela & Sangrador, 2001).

Yet, according to other studies, this “what is beautiful is good” stereotype is less strong and less general than previous research has concluded (Eagly, Makhijani, et al., 1991).

Besides, this stereotype is culturally specific. Many cultures have such physical attractiveness stereotypes as “what is beautiful is good.” However, this stereotype can vary in its content depending on cultural values, for example, in collectivistic and individualistic societies. It appears that “what is beautiful is culturally good” (see, for review, Anderson, 2019; Anderson, Adams, & Plaut, 2008; Swami & Furnham, 2008; Wheeler & Kim, 1997).

What Is Physically Attractive in Women and in Men?

Researchers have looked into what makes other people’s appearances and bodies physically and sexually appealing. Since the end of the 19th and beginning of the 20th centuries, studies of of what is “physically attractive” have been extensive (for example, Finck, 1887; Courtenay, 1922).

Many authors have published thousands of articles, books, and other publications about what is “physically attractive” in women and men. Many scientists have studied what is beautiful in the physical appearance of faces and bodies, as well as what makes them sexually attractive. This research has been especially prolific in recent decades.

How Similar and Different Is the Perception of Physical Attractiveness in Various Cultures?

Researchers found symmetrical features, certain body proportions, a low ratio of hips to waist, full lips, white teeth, lustrous hair, smooth and clear skin, and an absence of sores as attractive for many people across a variety of countries (e.g., Langlois et al. 2000; Sugiyama, 2005).

Studies have revealed that White, Black, Hispanic, and Asian men and women perceive attractive facial qualities cross-culturally relatively consistently when they evaluate White men and women (see, for review, Cunningham et al., 1995). For example, people judge women’s faces as attractive when they have

“high eyebrows, widely spaced large eyes with dilated pupils, high cheekbones, a small nose, a narrow face with thin cheeks, a large smile, a full lower lip, a small chin, and a fuller hairstyle.”

(Cunningham et al., 1995, p. 275).

These similarities are surprising because people have different racial and ethnic typologies of facial and body traits. So, these findings appear to indicate that men and women across these different cultures perceive the same features of facial and body beauty as similarly attractive. It’s hard to believe that, despite their obvious disparities in appearance, Hispanics, Asians, Blacks, and Whites have the same standards of physical attractiveness.

Are Standards of Physical Attractiveness Cross-Culturally the Same?

Thus, it appears that across many societies, men and women within a culture and between cultures generally agree on who is beautiful and handsome and who is not. Nevertheless, according to other cultural studies, it is apparent that different attributes of physical appearance may look more attractive in some cultures but not others. Researchers have found that different facial and body features are more or less attractive to people in different cultures (Cunningham et al., 1995; Fallon, 1990; Langlois et al., 2000).

For example, big smiles, raised eyebrows, and neonate qualities look attractive across cultures, depending on the local ecology and fashion prevalent in those societies. The expressive qualities of a person and the appearance of sexual maturity vary moderately in their attractiveness in different cultures. The attractiveness of different body weights, hairstyles, and other grooming qualities varies greatly across various societies.

Among the Other Topics of Interest in this Regard Are:

Does Physical Beauty Matter for Sexual Attraction?

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Many people in the world are obsessed with the desire to look beautiful. The ideas of beauty and physical attractiveness have been persistent in art, sculpture, poetry, and songs throughout centuries of human civilization. In recent times, books, magazines, movies, television, and commercials have flooded us with beautiful images everywhere. Does physical beauty matter for sexual attraction?

The Early Imprinting of Beauty in Childhood

Beginning in early childhood, girls and boys learn how important it is to be beautiful. All around us are talking about physical beauty, repeatedly commenting on who is beautiful and who is not. “You are so beautiful!” is the nicest compliment that anyone tries to say to a girl when they don’t know what else to say. Stereotypically, teachers, parents, siblings, and friends join in the chorus. “Darling” youngsters hear aahs and oohs. They receive the adoring attention and admiration of those around them. In contrast to this, those children and teens who are less attractive, disproportionate, and overweight are perceived indifferently and may hear nasty comments or outright rejection.

Cultural Adoration of Beauty

Through the centuries, the fine arts and magnificent poetry have been persistent in their search for the ideals of physical beauty. They explored what is beautiful in human bodies, faces, and costumes. The beauty of human physical appearance has been the realm of artistic and literary exploration.

The aristocracy and affluent people entertained these beautiful ideas. The real lives of many commoners were full of safety and shelter concerns and hard work for subsistence. These people often did not have time to appreciate beauty. Men and women mated with those who were close to them. They married those who were affordable and valuable for family survival. Charm was deceptive. Beauty was fleeting. Industriousness was often more valuable.

Nowadays, the cultural attitudes of praising “beauty” and avoiding “unbeauty” have become cultural commonplace, at least in Western societies. Thus, the desire to be beautiful is imprinted on our minds and cultures. Modern Western societies, being obsessed with the importance of men and especially women being beautiful, transfer these beauty ideas and ideals to other societies around the world. In recent decades, Eastern and other cultures have become more and more influenced by Western ideas of beauty.

Are Men’s Preferences for Sexually Beautiful Women Evolutionary?

Dating advertisements on websites are packed with these stereotypes. Everyone describes themselves as “beautiful” in one or another respect. And everyone expects to find a beautiful partner. Evolutionary scientists try to convince us that men look for “good-looking” women, while women look for “good financial prospects” in men. These researchers presume that men want to conceive more offspring, and therefore, men look for fertile women to accomplish this evolutionary desire. It is also assumed that men somehow know that “good-looking” women are more fertile than others. This is why men prefer beautiful women for mating relationships.

We all know that “good looking” really matters for sexual attractiveness, not only for women but also for men. Several explanations are possible, including biological and cultural evolutionary perspectives (Karandashev, 2022). However, it is not always clear whether men and women look for “not bad-looking” or “beautifully looking” sexual and mating partners. Different people may look at this differently. Some look for only the “beautiful,” while others may look for those who are “good enough” or “not bad at all.”

In Search of Attractive Faces and Bodies

Researchers have also investigated what is sexually attractive in the faces and bodies of others. They strived to find cross-cultural standards of beauty across many societies, such as symmetry, body proportions, and others. They found some cross-cultural similarities, which presumably support an evolutionary explanation of universal qualities of sexual attractiveness.

Through recent decades, a lot of scientists have investigated what is attractive in the physical appearance of faces and bodies and what makes them sexually attractive. There are thousands of articles, books, and other publications on the topic of “physical attractiveness.”

However, a vast majority of this research was conducted in Western and modernized Asian societies. The number of studies in other societies is much smaller. So, it seems doubtful to say anything about the universality of physical beauty.

Scientific evidence from other societies and cultural contexts tells us that the importance of beauty is not universal, and beauty standards are not universal across cultures.

Physical Beauty Is Not Universally Important

An abundance of anthropological findings has demonstrated that “beauty” is a cultural idea rather than an evolutionary device for mating purposes. The importance of physical appearance for sexual attractiveness varies across cultures. And the cultural norms of sexual beauty also differ in different societies (Karandashev, 2019; 2022).

Physical attractiveness seems really important for many people in mainstream North American and European societies, as well as in Australia and New Zealand. In such societies with high values of individualism, independence, and autonomy, personal preferences and choices matter.

Physical attractiveness matters less to people in some Asian and African societies, such as Korea in Southeast Asia and Ghana in Africa. Relational affordance limitations reduce people’s value of physical attractiveness in their daily lives and mating (Anderson et al., 2008; Karandashev, 2017; Wheeler & Kim, 1997).

Physical attractiveness matters less for people in some tribal subsistence-based societies with a risk of safety and food shortages. Men and women (mostly gatherers and hunters) care more about their subsistence survival than about beauty (see, for review, Karandashev, 2022).

Maybe modern people care about beauty when they have nothing else to care about.

Cultural Features of Mangaian Romantic Love

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Early anthropological studies portrayed the sexual culture of Polynesian love. Those studies downplayed the love and emotions of indigenous people in the South Seas. For example, the cultural anthropology of Mangaian love presented the freedom of sexual intimacy and love among Mangaian people of Polynesia.

Later anthropological studies of the 20th century, as I noted in another article, showed that Polynesian women’s and men’s emotional experiences demonstrated that their feelings and relationships were romantic, according to the Western concept of romantic love (Karandashev, 2017, 2019).

Six Things Make Mangaian Love Romantic

Anthropological studies of the 1980s and 1990s showed that romantic love was present in Polynesian cultures (see Jankowiak, ed., 1995), in particular in the Mangaian culture (e.g., Harris, 1995). The word “inangaro” (loving and liking) comes in different forms and contexts, and it is used in many ways, which conveys several core meanings of romantic love.

In other articles, I explained the six key things that made Polynesian love in Mangaia “romantic.” These were

  • (1) intrusive thinking about the partner,
  • (2) a romantic perception of the beloved as an exceptional person,
  • (3) a romantic idealization of the partner and the relationship,
  • (4) a reordering of motivational hierarchies,
  • (5) emotional dependency in romantic love, and
  • (6) care and concern for the other.

See more about these in:

Three Things Make Mangaian Love “Romantic”, and

Three Other Things That Make Mangaian Love Romantic

What Is Culturally Special about Mangaian Love?

In the 1980s, an extensive anthropological field study revealed culturally specific characteristics of Mangaian romantic love. Cultural anthropologists proposed that the Mangaian pattern of heterosexual romantic love differs from the American model of romantic love in its emphasis on specific features of love. The significant differences between these two cultural models of love are in the relative weighting of those features (e.g., Harris, 1995).

The Mangaian cultural model of romantic love is different in many ways from the American model of romantic love

Open Expression of Sexual Love

The two cultural models have different patterns of sexual attitudes and sexual relations. In particular, the Polynesian pattern emphasizes sexual expressiveness while the American pattern minimizes sexual expressiveness.

Polynesian cultures perceive free and open sexual expressions and behaviors as common and central features of sexual relationships and love.

Love Emerges Involuntarily “From the Bowels”

Women and men understand the Mangaian word “inangaro”, with its flexible denotation as “wanting, needing, liking, or loving,” in its specific meaning in the context of heterosexual relationships. It conveys the meaning of “the real love from within, the feeling inside you, from your heart, for someone.” More specifically, love is an involuntary emotional feeling that emerges “from the heart”, even though it literally means “comes from the bowels”. Mangaians believe that the inangaro is “not a choice, but suddenly it is a feeling” that overwhelms a person. Such an involuntary process as falling in love can have both positive and negative consequences. For instance, sometimes relationships that should have been were not because “that feeling” just wasn’t there.

Let us look at one case of this kind,

“Ani was energetically courted by a “good and loving” man who wanted to marry her but for whom she did not feel inangaro. Instead, she fell in love with a man who turned out to be unfaithful to her after they were mar­ried, causing her considerable unhappiness. As she reflected on her life, Ani regretted not being able to love her first suitor, who, in hindsight, would have been a better spouse.”

(Harris, 1995, p.121).

Physical Beauty Is a Powerful Force of Love

Mangaians understand that physical beauty is a powerful driving force of love in heterosexual relationships. Mangaians, like other Polynesians, have a great appreciation for the aesthetics of the human body. They believe that the human physique is the vital trigger of passionate love.

The Mangaian cultural standards of sexual beauty, however, are substantially different from western conventions of physical attractiveness. Different physical features ignite Polynesian love.

For many Mangaians, love at first sight prevails in their culture. The decisive role of physical beauty and the idea of love as an involuntary process are crucial in this regard. Here is an example of how Mangaians described their experiences of sudden and intense attraction to a person they had just met (Harris, 1995, p.122):

“I was in the shop buying some food and I turned and saw him. I got a feeling inside me that I had never felt before with anyone. I had already had a boyfriend and a baby and other boys had come around too. But when I saw this man, I wished that he would be my husband, and this feeling was a surprise because I had never seen him before. Although I had that feeling, I didn’t expect that the feel­ing would come true.”

Mangaian Love as Fate and Destiny

While in North America, “looks count” and “love for beauty” are important factors in falling in love (Tennov, 1979), in Mangaian culture, these factors are recognized as superficial and insubstantial foundations for a relationship (Harris, 1995).

Love and attraction derive from something more important. This is the fate of a supernatural power that is beyond a person’s control.

In American culture, people are generally ambivalent about love “at-first-sight.” They think that physical attraction cannot be the exclusive ground for a “serious” relationship, although they admit that such occurrences exist. As opposed to this, Mangaians perceive such immediate and intense reactions of attraction to a person of the opposite sex as natural when they speak about such experiences.

People in societies that are not affected by cultural discomfort and suspicion of the body are more willing to admit the power of physical attraction. They have a strong belief in “love-at-first-sight” occurrences. In Mangaia, men and women believe that the feeling of love is God’s (or nature’s) way of bringing and keeping people together (1995, p.122).

What Physical Attractiveness Tells about Personality Traits

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We like to talk to and have a relationship with beautiful and physically attractive men and women. Their physical attractiveness is pleasant for interpersonal communication. What is their personality like?

Do pleasant or unpleasant personality traits predispose us to perceive men and women as physically attractive? According to studies, character and personality affect whether we perceive the physical appearance of a partner as attractive or not.

What Do Men and Women Look for in Prospective Mates?

Men and women have their own sexual preferences for physical attractiveness in prospective partners. Other articles on this website have presented a variety of physical attributes that men and women in different cultures look for in their prospective partners.

The evolutionary mate-selection theory asserts that some qualities that attract women and men in potential mates are cross-culturally universal. According to the theory, good-looking physical appearance is more important for men in their judgment of women than it is for women in their judgment of men. And some research findings back up this theory (e.g., Buss et al., 1990; Buss, 1994; Buss & Barnes, 1986).

However, other studies have not been consistent in this regard. It turned out that cultural contexts and other moderating variables produce differential effects (see review in other articles on this website).

As we’ll see below, personality traits are among those.

What Is Beautiful Is Good

It is commonly known that people like others who are beautiful. Besides the obvious immediate and direct importance of physical attractiveness for love, good-looking people often have good character and personality. Or this might be just a stereotype.

Meanwhile, the “what-is-beautiful-is-good” effect (see another article on this website) can explain why physical attractiveness is important (evolutionarily or culturally), suggesting good personality traits in a potential partner, such as dependable character, emotional stability, pleasing disposition, kindness, intelligence, and maturity (Fugère, Madden, & Cousins, 2019; Yela & Sangrador, 2001).

Does Good Character Make Men and Women Physically Attractive?

On the other hand, character and personality also affect whether physical appearance is perceived as attractive. Studies have suggested that the perception of physical attractiveness is contingent on many other contextual factors: positive or negative knowledge, personality characteristics of a person, the context in which they see that person, and so on. Across cultures, wise people say, “Beauty is only skin-deep.”

A series of studies collected the data in several international samples and revealed how the personality characteristics of women affect men’s perceptions of their physical attractiveness when women appeared in various body sizes, weights, and waist-to-hip ratios. In the same way, studies found that the personality characteristics of men affect women’s perceptions of their physical attractiveness (Fugère, Madden, & Cousins, 2019; Swami, Greven, & Furnham, 2007; Swami et al., 2010; Yela & Sangrador, 2001).

These findings demonstrate that beauty is more than just skin-deep. In particular, men who have prior positive knowledge about the personality of a woman perceive her as physically attractive in a wider variety of body sizes. Men who have prior negative knowledge about her personality, on the other hand, perceive her as physically attractive only in a narrower range of body sizes (Swami et al., 2010).

According to other studies, dependable character, emotional stability, pleasing disposition, and kindness also affect positive impressions of physical appearance (Fugère, Madden, & Cousins, 2019; Yela & Sangrador, 2001).

Is Beauty in the Eye of the Beholder?

From the ancient Egyptians, Greeks, and Romans across centuries, multiple scholars and artists have explored many objective qualities of beautiful people, such as symmetry, proportion, harmony, averageness, and others.

Nevertheless, there is strong scientific evidence that the personality of a perceiver also affects their perception of the attractiveness of another person. Some people are personally and culturally predisposed to seeing beauty in its variety, while others are not. Individuals high in the personality trait of Openness to Experience, as well as men high in the trait of Agreeableness, perceive a wider range of men’s and women’s body sizes as attractive. They also tend to idealize a heavier body size among women (Swami, Buchanan, Furnham, & Tovée, 2008).

The physical attractiveness of another person also depends on the perceiver’s state of being. Happiness makes everything beautiful, while depression makes everything worse. Being in romantic love, a person sees others through rose-colored glasses. Beauty is quite subjective and can be pleasantly illusionary. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

As I noted elsewhere,

“we love a partner not because he or she is beautiful; we rather perceive him or her as beautiful because we love them.”

Our love makes them beautiful.

Lovers tend to have positive partner illusions and perceive their beloved as more attractive than others, as well as themselves. Based on the attractiveness of body parts, men and women rate their romantic partners as more attractive than others and themselves. Experience of romantic love and relationship satisfaction make them vulnerable to the love-is-blind bias. However, those who are in long relationships with their partner experience this attractiveness bias much less (Swami, Stieger, Haubner, Voracek, & Furnham, 2009).

Other Articles of Interest on This Topic are