Monthly Archives: February 2022

Tactile and Kinesthetic Senses of Love

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Many of us believe that we love and are loved the way we see each other. It is true that visual appearance is salient in our interpersonal perception. Auditory perceptions—the way we hear each other—also convey important signals of love. Visual and auditory interpersonal perceptions are the vital senses of love.

Besides visual and auditory perceptions, the pleasant, tangible sensations of the tactile-kinesthetic modality make us attracted to another person. Our touching of another person and our senses of muscles, joints, postures, and movements of our body constitute the tactile-kinesthetic senses of love. All of them have an impact on our attraction and love.

The tactile and kinesthetic senses are very important in love and sex. Body positions, sitting close, cuddling, and kissing are the ingredients of our physical attraction.

The Tactile and Kinesthetic Senses of Love

Our skin, hands, and body are the major organs for such perceptions of another person in our relationships. This modality is felt in what our hands and bodies feel when touching the beloved. A physical touch, a hug, a shoulder squeeze, a handshake, or even a pat on the back are all important expressions of affection to the partner.

Cuddling, like other forms of physical touch, causes the hormone oxytocin to be released, which strengthens our bonds. This way, we perceive their ways of walking, bodily actions, hugging, and kissing.

All people are capable of understanding the tactile language of love. The studies found that people in the United States and Spain can reliably recognize the emotions of sympathy, love, and gratitude by touch, even by merely watching others communicate via touch. This language of love can be similar across cultures, so it may work for love without borders.

Some people, however, especially prefer the physical touch as the language of love, even more than verbal expressions of love (Chapman, 1995).

This perception is also kinesthetic, involving the sensation of moving, physical interaction, body coordination, and the coordination of other activities.

Tactile and Kinesthetic Senses of Love in Sexual Attraction

The role of tactile senses, kinetics, and olfaction is especially evident in sexual attraction.

Studies have found that tactile sensory experiences are particularly important for women’s sexual attraction and sexual arousal (Herz & Cahill 1997; Ellis & Symons 1990; Symons 1979).

For males, on the other hand, both visual and tactile sensations are equally important (Herz & Cahill 1997).

A sexual intercourse involves various tactile and kinesthetic expressions and sensual feelings of romantic attraction, such as holding hands, hugging, touching, kissing, and all kinematics (Marston et al. 1998).

Young men and women use massages, backrubs, caressing, cuddling, stroking, holding hands, hugging, and kissing on the face and lips as their expressions of physical affection (Gulledge et al. 2003).

Many couples use “makeup sex” to reconnect physically with their partners, sending an implicit message that the argument is over and they are ready to move on. 

The Tactile and Kinesthetic Ways to Show Love

There are multiple ways to express love without words. Holding hands seems like a classical picture of loving partners. Across many societies, a couple walking hand-in-hand down the street culturally means they love each other. Cultures, however, differ as to whether they allow display in public or only in private. Holding hands is a kind gesture that expresses physical love for your partner and physical attraction.

Compassionate and supportive love can be expressed by rubbing your partner’s back when he or she is dealing with an upsetting or challenging situation. Touching them is a normal act of empathy and understanding. You, as a loving partner, signal to them that you are there for them. The rubbing of their hand, arm, or another part of the body works the same way. Yet, it is important to make sure they feel comfortable with it.

Touching skin-to-skin often expresses affectionate and sexual love. Intimate love is often expressed by dragging fingertips across the partner’s hands, neck, or back, touching the partner’s hair, or even touching the partner’s bare legs. These are non-verbal gestures to show them you feel physically attracted to them and are in love with them.

Sitting Close to and Cuddling with your Partner

Being in close proximity to your partner and touching your partner’s body are physical expressions of love. Sitting with your hips or feet touching each other is a non-verbal approach to bonding with your partner. We may recall that when we argue or disagree with our partner, we frequently move physically away from each other. So, moving closer and touching your partner is a good way to break the tension after an argument and the best way to reconnect. Sitting side-by-side is a simple way to signal that you love them.

Cuddling is the act of physically wrapping yourself around your partner. These kinesthetic and tactile feelings bring you physically and emotionally closer to each other.

The Kissing Senses of Love

Kissing is among the ultimate expressions of sexual love. Kissing is a typical way to show physical love to your partner. This can be kissing their hand, their cheek, their forehead, their lips, or their neck. A kiss, however, does not imply sexual love.

Kissing is used in various types of relationships. Parents kiss their child, and a child kisses their parents. In many cultures, kissing is an action of greeting and respect.

Kinetic Idioms of Love

Partners often use kinesics as nonverbal idioms in their intimate talks. These can be body movements, postures, gestures, eye movements, eye contact, and other facial expressions (Hopper et al., 1981). For example, by twitching the nose (meaning “You’re special”) or pulling on the right earlobe (meaning “I love you”), they show their love for the partner.

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We Love the Way We See and Hear Each Other

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Many people, both men and women, think that their appearance is the most important factor in finding love. For those who want to be attractive in love, the value of physical beauty seems universal. It is really true.

Physically attractive and good-looking people across many cultures are more likely to be asked out on dates and to behave confidently in romantic situations (Hatfield & Rapson, 2000; Hatfield & Sprecher, 1986; Poulsen et al., 2013; Walster, Aronson, Abrams, & Rottman, 1966, see for review, Karandashev, Evans, et al., 2020).

However, various sensory appealing physical characteristics of a partner can inspire romantic physical attraction and passionate love. Auditory sensory impressions—how they sound—are equally as significant as how they appear visually.

Multisensory Interpersonal Attraction

Interpersonal physical attraction is the attraction of a man or a woman to another person that is based on the other person’s physical traits and appearance, whether it is someone’s body, face, eyes, hair, attire, voice, odor, etc. Our perception of another person is multisensory and engages visual, auditory, tactile-kinesthetic, and olfactory modalities during romantic interaction (Karandashev & Fata, 2014; Karandashev et al., 2016; 2020).

Visual Perception of an Attractive Partner

The visual sensory modality of attraction is based on a partner’s visually appealing physical traits. This includes, but is not limited to, his or her body type, form, and facial features, such as the nose, mouth, forehead, eyes, and the shape of his or her lips. Given the significance of vision for humans, the primary sensory qualities of a partner that influence our falling in love are visual.

Various aspects of the body and face that people find attractive in a partner come through the visual senses. Humans are primarily “optical animals.” Therefore, in interpersonal relationships, people rely heavily on their visual perception of another person (Grammer, Fink, & Neave, 2005).

The Universal Qualities of the Visual Beauty of an Attractive Partner

People in many cultures find low hip-to-waist ratios, facial symmetry, long hair, muscular builds, and clear skin attractive in a romantic partner (e.g., Gangestad & Thornhill, 1997; Patzer, 1985; see for review, Karandashev at al., 2016).

Men are especially visual in their romantic and sexual attraction (e.g., Buss, 1989, 1994; Ellis & Symons, 1990; Feingold, 1990, 1992; Greenlees & McGrew, 1994; Landolt, Lalumiere, & Quinsey, 1995; see for review, Karandashev et al., 2016). They place a high value on body weight, specific body types and shapes, physical fitness, and the length of a female partner’s hair (Nevid, 1984; Hönekopp et al., 2007).

Auditory Perception of an Attractive Partner

Despite the prevalence of visual perception, people learn a great deal about one another through verbal communication. In many interpersonal situations, verbal and nonverbal channels are inextricably linked. The content of communication as well as the auditory perception of a partner’s voice and other sounds are important factors in romantic attraction.

The auditory-sensory mode of attraction is defined as the attraction to a partner that is primarily based on the sense of sound. The tone of the partner’s voice, the pitch with which they speak, the sound of their laugh, and the voice with which they sing are all distinguishing characteristics.

What in the Voice of a Partner Makes It Attractive?

Many effects of an attractive voice determine mating value and romantic attraction. Men and women with attractive voices tend to have their first sexual intercourse at an earlier age. They also have a greater number of sexual partners and affairs. Men with attractive, lower-pitched voices have greater reproductive success (Apicella et al., 2007; Hughes et al., 2004).

What qualities in human voices make them attractive? Studies have found that women perceive male voices as attractive when their vocalizations display general masculinity and maturity. Attractive men’s voices are less monotonous, medium to lower in average fundamental frequency, and medium to higher in variance of the fundamental frequency (Feinberg et al., 2006; Riding et al., 2006; Zuckerman & Miyake, 1993; Zuckerman et al., 1995).

What in the Voice Makes It Sexy?

Women often prefer male voices that are dynamic, feminine, submissive, and esthetically pleasing. The sounds that give such an impression have increased or medium variance in the fundamental frequency and have high or medium pitch variation (Addington, 1968; Raines et al., 1990; Ray et al., 1991).

Men and women use a lower-pitched voice and a noticeable variation in pitch when they speak to an attractive person of the opposite sex. When they simulate a “sexy” voice, their voices become low (Hughes, Farley, & Rhodes, 2010; Tuomi & Fischer, 1979).

Cultural Differences in What People Perceive as Attractive in Partners

People in traditional and modernized countries differ in what they look for in the appearance of prospective mates (Karandashev et al., 2020).

People in traditional societies (e.g., Russia, Georgia, Jamaica) with relatively conservative values, when they look at the physical qualities of a mate, pay attention to such visual qualities as beautiful facial features and body shape, good skin texture, and nice clothes. Men and women in traditional societies love their partners’ abilities to do beautiful singing and dancing.

On the other hand, people in modernized societies (e.g., the USA, France, and Portugal) with relatively liberal values pay less attention to the shapes and static features of their partner’s face and body. They are rather interested in expressive qualities, such as expressive faces, beautiful smiles, meaningful gestures, and other expressive appearances and behaviors. In modern societies, men and women pay more attention to a partner’s expressive eyes and voice as ways to learn about that person’s personality (see also another article for detail).

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Women and Men Who Are Physically Attractive in Different Cultures

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People tend to love physically attractive women and men in interpersonal relationships. They are more likely to fall in love with those who are beautiful and have a physically attractive appearance. Interpersonal perception in a relationship is multisensory in its physical nature: not only visual but also auditory, tactile-kinesthetic, and olfactory.

Multisensory Perception in a Romantic Relationship

A lover admires a loved one’s physical traits as seen through multiple sensory impressions, including visual, auditory, tactile-kinesthetic, olfactory, and gustatory. Multisensory processes occur in the partner’s interaction and their interpersonal perception. These various sensory impressions are intricately intertwined (see for review, Karandashev et al., 2016, 2020).

Men and women not only look at their partners but also speak, listen, and smile. They stay in close proximity, dance with them, touch them, hug them, and are hugged, cuddling and kissing each other. Such dynamic, expressive behavior often affects attraction more than static facial appearance and body shape.

People’s attention to different modalities of physical appearance and expressive behavior in potential partners varies across cultures. Aside from visual preferences in judging another person, auditory, tactile, kinesthetic, and olfactory sensory modalities, as well as expressive behavior, all contribute to mating attraction. These preferences in a partner differ across cultures, particularly between traditional and modern societies (Karandashev et al., 2016; 2020).

Recent Cross-cultural Studies of Sensory Preferences in Different Countries

Studies in societies with varying social, economic, and cultural parameters (2740 participants from 10 cultural regions in six countries) revealed that general differences in sensory preferences in romantic attraction exist between societies of different degrees of modernization (Karandashev et al., 2016; 2020).

The main conclusions of those studies are:

“Biologically determined sensory parameters are more important in less modernized countries—with priorities of survival values, whereas socially determined sensory parameters are more important in more modernized countries—with priorities of self-expression values. This general tendency, however, is not always straight.”

(Karandashev et al., 2020)

How Do Traditional and Modernized Societies Differ?

Inglehart and his colleagues have proposed a modernization theory of society. The theory characterizes societies as having different degrees of modernization based on economic, social, and cultural characteristics (Inglehart, 1997; Inglehart & Baker, 2000; Inglehart & Welzel, 2005).

The theory of modernization presents an important framework to explain the cultural evolution across societies in historical perspective. Conventionally, we can distinguish traditional and modern cultures along the spectrum of modernization. Traditional societies’ cultural norms place a high priority on survival values, whereas modern societies’ cultural norms place a high value on self-expression values (see more, Karandashev, 2023 in press).

Cultural Values and Social Norms of Traditional Societies

In traditional (less modernized) societies, cultural values and social norms respect group cohesion, societal structure, and customary norms. They encourage collectivistic values. These societies are conservative. They discourage emancipation and individualistic self-expression.

Traditional (less modernized) societies are those in which the cultural values of Survival, greater Power distance, lower Individualism, lower Indulgence, and lower Emancipative values prevail.

Cultural Values and Social Norms of Modern Societies

In modern (more modernized) societies, cultural values and social norms are less conservative. They

  • are flexible and fluid, providing relative freedom to follow societal norms;
  • encourage individualistic values;
  • respect emancipation and individualism;
  • are open to diversity in self-expression.

Modern (or more modernized) societies are those in which the cultural values of Self-expression, lower Power Distance, high value of Individualism, Indulgence, and Emancipation prevail.

What Physical Characteristics Are Attractive in Traditional Cultures?

In less modernized countries, the sensory preferences in romantic attraction between partners are focused on the physical qualities of a mate: body shape, facial features, skin texture, and the quality of smell, which are stable biologically and vital for evolution. These sensory qualities have a higher value, indicating that mates are in good health.

For example, in Portugal and Russia, where the indices of Power Distance and Uncertainty Avoidance are high, people place a higher value on such traits of their romantic partners as body, skin, and smell, compared to the participants in countries where these indices are low, such as the US.

Participants from Jamaica and Russia, whose cultures are characterized by a low value of Egalitarianism and a high cultural value of Hierarchy, pay less attention to the eyes and voices of their mates (Karandashev et al., 2020).

What Physical Characteristics Are Attractive in Modern Cultures?

People in modern individualistic and egalitarian societies, on the other hand, care less about how physically attractive their partners are. For instance, they know how to mask or modify odors by taking showers and applying perfumes. They often know how to manipulate physical characteristics and appearances through deliberate deception.

In more modernized countries, the sensory preferences in the love attraction of partners are focused on such expressive behaviors as facial expressions, expressive behavior, dress, dance, etc. Body movement, dress, hair style, cosmetics, facial expression, and gestures are the qualities that are more adaptable and changeable due to cultural norms (Karandashev et al., 2020).

Participants in modern societies with the lower cultural value of Hierarchy and the higher cultural value of Egalitarianism—such as France and Portugal—pay more attention to the eyes and voice of a partner as the expressive vehicles of their partner’s personality.

In modern societies with a higher value of Egalitarianism and a lower cultural value of Hierarchy, such as France and Portugal, participants pay more attention to a partner’s eyes and voice since they serve as signals expressing their partner’s personality (Karandashev et al., 2020).

Men’s and Women’s Sensory Preferences Across Cultures

Many men’s and women’s preferences for physical characteristics in a partner are very similar, with only minor differences. Among those, such sensory qualities as perception of body shape, senses of smell and lips, facial expressiveness, smiling, and expressive speaking.

Men also rated the importance of their partner’s sensory impressions higher than women. Generally, when gender differences were statistically significant, men valued the importance of their romantic partner’s sensory qualities higher than women did (Karandashev et al., 2020).

This conclusion converges with the earlier findings, which showed that men have higher expectations of the qualities of female physical appeal than women do (see for review, Regan et al., 2000).

Here are other articles of interest on the topic:

What Is Beautiful Is Culturally Good

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Many people are familiar with the stereotypical expression “what is beautiful is good” (see, for review, Karandashev, 2022a; also another article on this below). However, this stereotype in many cultures is less powerful and more context-specific than researchers previously thought (see for review, Lemay, et al., 2010; Swami & Furnham, 2008).

Cultural Stereotypes of What an Attractive Appearance Is

These beauty stereotypes differ across cultures in terms of their specific content and the value that people place on it. Attractive appearance can signal not only fertility but also kindness, emotional stability, pleasing disposition, intelligence, and dependable character (Fugère, Madden, & Cousins, 2019; Yela & Sangrador, 2001).

Cultures Differ in the Importance of Attractive Appearance for Mating

Cultures differ in how men and women look at the importance of standards of beauty and physical attractiveness for mating relationships. These stereotypes of interpersonal perception based on physical attractiveness depend on cultural values. “What is beautiful is culturally good“(Anderson, 2019; Anderson, Adams, & Plaut, 2008; Wheeler & Kim, 1997).

The Importance of Beauty Differs in Independent and Interdependent Societies

Beauty and attractive appearance are more important in independent cultures, such as mainstream American society, which places a high value on autonomy and places a premium on personal choice when it comes to dating. In contrast, in interdependent societies, people consider beauty and attractive appearances less important. The cultures of Korea in Southeast Asia and Ghana in Africa have different expectations in this regard.

These cultures place a high value on embeddedness and emphasize ties with social networks. Physical attractiveness is related to diminished value in everyday life due to limited societal affordances (Anderson, Adams, & Plaut, 2008; Wheeler & Kim, 1997).

How Gender Equality Affects the Importance of Beauty and Attractive Appearances

The gender differences in men’s and women’s mating preferences for beauty and attractive appearance in a prospective partner vary depending on the value of gender equality in a society. For example, in the Netherlands, where the value of gender equality is high, the gender differences are smaller. However, in Germany, where cultural norms of gender roles are more conventional and gender equality is lower, these differences are larger.

The cultures of many other societies follow more traditional norms of gender roles and have even less gender equality. Consequently, men and women differ even more in their preferences for beauty in a prospective partner (Buss et al., 1990; De Raad & Doddema-Winsemius, 1992).

What Are the Features of Physical Appearance that Societies Consider Beautiful?

There are also cultural differences in which physical traits people consider appealing in a person for their love relationship. They depend on local conditions of living, relationship mobility, and cultural norms.

Men prefer women with more fat in subsistence-based societies, in which gatherers and hunters produce only for their own survival and therefore can deal with the danger of food shortages (e.g., Anderson et al., 1992; Brown and & Konnor, 1987; Sugiyama, 2004).

Such mating preferences people have in the foraging, hunting, or horticultural communities of

  • the Zulu people in South African (Tovée, Swami, Furnham, & Mangalparsad, 2006),
  • the Hadza, a native group of people in north-central Tanzania of East Africa (Wetsman & Marlowe, 1999),
  • the Yali of Papua – an aboriginal tribal group in the rocky terrain in Papua, Indonesia (Sorokowski & Sorokowska, 2012), and
  • Shiwiar (Achuar), an ethnic tribe of Ecuadorian Amazonia in South America (Sugiyama, 2004).

When people’s ecological and social circumstances change due to exposure to a new social environment, they can adjust their attitudes toward what is beautiful and what is now. The Zulu people of South Africa, who immigrated to the UK, have shown remarkable adaptability (Tovée, Swami, Furnham, & Mangalparsad, 2006).

Other articles of interest on the topic are

What’s an Ideal Age Difference in Dating?

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What age of a prospective partner do you consider preferable? Would you prefer a partner of the same age as yours? Or would you prefer a partner with an age difference in dating?

According to evolutionary views, men and women differ in this regard. Across many cultures, men prefer to marry younger women, while women prefer to marry older men, according to studies (Buss, 1989, 1994/2003).

There are three explanations for this common tendency: evolutionary, psychological, and cultural.

Evolutionary Explanations of Age Difference in Dating

According to the early evolutionary interpretation, men and women have different mating strategies, and therefore, they have different mating preferences: the men’s preference for appearance and the women’s preference for the economic resources of their prospective mates. These gender differences were found in 37 cultures (Buss, 1989).

Men prefer relationships with a younger woman with an attractive appearance, with the implicit assumption of her good fertility prospects. Women, on the other hand, prefer an older man, implying a desire for a good resource prospect.

This preference for age differences in dating also influences their actual marriage choices. Men prefer younger women, with an average age difference of three years, according to research on actual marriages from 29 cultures. Older men and men who were divorced tended to remarry women who were younger. These age differences were three years at the first marriage, five years at the second marriage, and eight years at the third marriage. The data were similar in many societies (Buss, 1989; Buss, 1994/2003).

In some societies, however, cultural attitudes toward divorce and the possibility of a second marriage are negative. The study of mate preferences demonstrated that Jordanians are especially unwilling to marry those who are divorced. Men had a social aversion to engaging in a relationship with such women, while women were more tolerant in this regard (Khallad, 2005).

Psychological Explanations of Age Difference in Dating

This preferred age difference in dating also has psychological implications. A possible psychological explanation of the typical age difference in dating might be that girls mature earlier than boys. Studies in developmental psychology have revealed that teenage girls develop and mature faster than boys (e.g., Lim et al., 2015; Marceau et al., 2011; Tanner, 1971).

Because of this, adolescent girls are often more interested in boys and young men of an older age than of their own age. They perceive their peer boys as too childish to love, so they show little romantic interest in them.

In cases of big age differences, an older man can be a more resourceful partner than a younger one. However, much older men can be less attractive in their physical appearance and less enjoyable in their sexual lives. They may also have interests and attitudes different from those of their young wife. Therefore, social exchange, rather than love attraction, frequently motivates “sugar daddy” and “trophy wife” relationships.

Cultural Explanations of Age Difference in Dating

Cultural interpretation of the age difference in dating between an older man and a younger woman in a relationship is also possible. Many traditional societies have cultural stereotypes that encourage men to be dominant and women to be submissive. For a man who is older or taller than a woman, it is easier to make an impression of dominance. Likewise, a young woman looks more submissive than the older one. Therefore, the older man would feel more authority to protect his young wife.

The increasing gender equality in modern societies and the devaluation of these gender stereotypes lead to smaller age differences between mating partners, which are often around 2-4 years. Much younger women can still be attractive to many older men. The old men may believe that they are younger when they are with such a young, “loving girl”—a feeling that can be a self-deceptive impression. The substantial age differences can hide some problems for both men and women.

What Is the Age Difference in Dating in Modern Societies?

Nowadays, the age differences between partners tend to be smaller than in earlier times. The cross-cultural findings from several studies in the 1990s showed that women of all ages consistently preferred men of their own age or just a few years older. The men’s preferences for the age of a potential female mate, however, depend on their own age. Young men are interested in a relationship with either younger or older women; however, men of an older age become more interested in relationships with younger women (see for review, Kenrick & Keefe, 1992; Kenrick et al., 1995).

Why Are Some Men Interested in Relationships with Older Women?

Can some men prefer older women? Yes, some men prefer a relationship with women who are slightly older than they are.

According to some studies (for a review, see Kenrick, Keefe, Gabrielidis, & Cornelius, 1996), teenage boys are open to dating a girl a few years younger. However, they find women a few years older to be the most attractive. For them, communication with the women, who have more advanced interests and experiences, can be appealing. Younger men experience romantic interest in older women even when these older women do not express their interest in dating younger men.

Modern Egalitarian Tendencies in Dating Preferences

The old evolutionary preferences for young, fertile women and resourceful men are less important in modern societies with egalitarian values and advanced reproductive medicine. According to some data, more couples in modern societies than before do not want to have many children, if any (Kamble et al., 2014). So, the fertility of a woman is not a big factor in a relationship anymore. Modern gender equality gives women better access to resources than before. So, the resources of a man are also not a big factor anymore.

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Our Predisposition to Homogamy in Love

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Genetic similarity and social homogamy play important roles in our interpersonal attraction and love.

As I showed elsewhere, genetic resemblance between individuals predisposes them to fall in love. Partners in a couple share more genetic traits than random strangers. Nonetheless, it may be misleading to conclude that people fall in love solely due to their genetic similarity.

Many other life circumstances, individual preferences, and socio-cultural characteristics also play an important role. Besides, social and cultural predispositions to homogamy increase the similarity of loving partners even more.

Assortative mating, or homogamy, as a predisposition to choose a similar partner for a relationship, is evident in many social, economic, and cultural characteristics. Among those are social class, socioeconomic status, education, religion, ethnicity, caste, gender, and age. They can have a significant impact on who men and women select to love and marry. Let us consider some of them.

The Interpersonal Attraction of Social and Economic Homogamy

In many societies, homogamy and endogamy in terms of race, ethnicity, religion, and socioeconomic status are especially important for marriage. Generally, people prefer relationships with individuals of similar social and economic groups, ethnicity, religion, age, and educational level (Kalmijn, 1994, 1998).

The principles of homogamy intentionally or unintentionally motivate men and women to select partners from similar social, economic, or cultural backgrounds. They tend to date and mate with those who are similar to them in social and economic status and belong to the same cultural group. At the early stages of a relationship, men and women often pay less attention to this homogamy with a prospective mate. They tend to rely on their immediate emotions. Nonetheless, as the relationship progresses, they certainly take these factors into consideration.

However, in some traditional cultures, such as India, the economic exchange often takes place in marriage arrangements. In some cases, when a person marries a spouse from a higher social stratum, sociologists call such a marriage hypergamy—“marrying up.” In this type of mating relationship, women often marry men of a slightly higher social class than their own (Van Den Berghe, 1960).

This is also considered “upward mobility,” when women or men from low socio-economic classes prefer to date a potential partner of high economic status. This relationship would advance their status in society (Blossfeld & Timm, 2003).

Nonetheless, in many modern societies, there is a tendency toward homogamy in mating based on economic status. The plots in which a rich prince accidentally meets and marries a poor girl are good for fairy tales and modern romantic movies. However, they are far from the reality of life.

A good financial prospect in a prospective mate is important for both women’s and, surprisingly, for men’s preferences (Eastwick & Finkel, 2008).

Interpersonal Attraction of Religious Homogamy

According to surveys, people consider similar faith and affiliation to be a very important factor in their marriage choice. Their religious families often care about this even more (see for review, Karandashev, 2017, 2019).

For instance, in Jordanian traditional conservative culture, people expect as their top preference that a prospective mating partner should be of the same religion (Khallad, 2005).

In modern Western European societies, many people do not consider religious beliefs important for love. For example, many American university students do NOT rate the religious affiliation of a prospective partner as an important quality.

However, in the seemingly modern society of the USA, where religion has historically played an important role in societal life and politics, the value of religiosity for mating varies across states and cultural groups. For example, American respondents from Texas, a conservative state, rated a similar religious background as essential in prospective mates (Buss et al., 2001).

Some cultural groups in America also place a high value on the religiosity of a prospective mating partner. For instance, modern Muslim women living in the United States prefer and seek a religious marriage partner (Badahdah & Tiemann, 2005).

Interpersonal Attraction of Educational Homogamy

Across many societies throughout history, husbands were usually more educated than their wives. Husbands might need education for their breadwinner’s work, while wives working in the household and taking care of children presumably did not need education.

In recent decades, women have received more opportunities for education and have expressed an interest in studying. Gender educational equality has substantially increased, providing more opportunities for contact and communication between educated men and women. Because of this, they frequently preferred relationships with equal partners. Colleges and universities have become the places where men and women have the opportunity to meet and marry (Blossfeld, 2009; Blossfeld & Timm, 2003).

Educational homogamy between men and women in dating relationships has increased in many modern societies. Marriage partners become homogamous couples in terms of education in such countries as

However, in many countries, another trend occurs. College education became more prevalent among women than among men. Women with higher education outnumbered men. Therefore, the number of women who marry downward has increased (De Rose & Fraboni, 2016; Esteve, García‐Román, & Permanyer, 2012).

Interpersonal Attraction and Love in Egalitarian Societies

Nowadays, in modern egalitarian societies, many men and women usually have equal access to financial, social, and educational resources. That means better chances for equal relationships and marriage. All these societal factors reflect on the ways young people form relationships (see for review, Karandashev, 2023).

The other articles of interest on this topic are

Physical Beauty of Men and Women Across Cultures

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Physical beauty characterizes attractive facial features, facial expressions, physical qualities of the body, bodily expressions, and grooming. These are the major groups of appearances that people pay attention to while they are communicating with others. Physical beauty is not only aesthetically pleasing. It can also be a signal of other qualities in a mating partner.

Universal Standards of Physical Beauty

The physical beauty of a person’s appearance is an objective reality that artists and scholars have explored for centuries. Among those qualities are symmetry, proportion, balance, and others. Artistic and literary works have depicted many cultural traditions of beauty across times and cultures (e.g., Ahmad, 1994; Feldman & Gordon, eds, 2006; Ishigami & Buckland, 2013; Prettejohn, 2005).

The physical beauty of some qualities of appearance is universal. People of different races, nationalities, ethnicities, and ages consistently perceive some faces as more attractive than others. Cross-cultural studies have revealed that people recognize such attributes as symmetry, facial averageness, sexual dimorphism, and skin homogeneity as universally attractive (see for review, Fink & Neave, 2005; Vashi, 2015).

Do People Perceive Physical Beauty Similarly Across Cultures?

Researchers found substantial cross-cultural consistencies in the perception of facial attractiveness in many studies. Multiple studies found that the cultural ideas of an attractive face vary relatively little across such cultural samples as African Americans and European Americans, Hispanics, Asians, and Taiwanese (Cunningham et al., 1995).

It seems like the ideal of a pretty woman’s face is quite similar across cultures. For example, people perceive the faces of women as attractive when they have

“high eyebrows, widely spaced large eyes with dilated pupils, high cheekbones, small nose, a narrow face with thin cheeks, large smile, full lower lip, small chin, and fuller hairstyle.”

(Cunningham et al., 1995, p. 275).

People across many societies mostly agree on who is attractive and who is not. For instance, neonate qualities, raised eyebrows, and a big smile are attractive across many cultures.

Many societies place especially high expectations on female physical beauty. According to evolutionary studies, attractive appearance indicates health, youth, and thus female fertility. Among those qualities of appearance are such cues to health as symmetrical features, a low ratio of hips to waist, clear and smooth skin, the absence of sores, full lips, white teeth, and lustrous hair (e.g., Langlois et al. 2000; Sugiyama, 2005).

Is Physical Beauty the Same All over the World?

Similarities in the qualities of face and body attractiveness across cultures seem surprising because different racial and ethnic typologies of facial and body features are quite distinct. Despite their obvious physical differences, Hispanics, Asians, Blacks, and Whites have similar physical beauty standards. It is difficult to believe, isn’t it? These questions still await deeper and more detailed exploration.

However, other attributes and standards of physical attractiveness vary across cultures and across time. For example, the appearance of sexual maturity and expressive qualities varies to some degree, while hairstyle, weight, and grooming vary highly across cultures, depending on local ecology and fashion (Cunningham et al., 1995; Fallon, 1990; Langlois et al. 2000).

How Does Physical Beauty Look Across Cultures?

The stereotypes of attractiveness differ across societies and times (see for review, e.g., DeMello, M. (2007, 2013).

The prototypes of attractive appearances evolve depending on ecological, social, and cultural contexts. Therefore, men and women look good in a particular society if they fit the relevant cultural prototypes of what types of body, posture, and adornment are beautiful (Osborn, 1996).

What is beautiful is culturally good

Thus, cultural stereotypes of beauty really do make differences. As noted elsewhere, “what is beautiful is culturally good” (Wheeler & Kim, 1997). For example, the ideals of certain patterns of body size vary.

It is worth noting that ideal body sizes differ less between Western and non-Western societies than between socioeconomic groups (Swami, 2015).

The Cultural Ideal of a Thin Body

In recent decades, modernization—often equated with westernization—has affected the cultural evolution of the ideal body size. Cultural shifts in the minds of urban populations of middle and upper socioeconomic status have resulted in the prevalence of the thin ideal (Swami, 2015). Modernization and westernization promote a thin ideal in many countries.

The Cultural Ideal of Skin Beauty

The cultural stereotypes of skin beauty also vary in different parts of the world. For example, in America, many people see tanned skin as beautiful. The images of bronzed celebrities are common.

Different from this cultural stereotype, people in many parts of East Asia, such as Japan and South Korea, perceive white skin and a milky, smooth complexion as beautiful and associate these qualities with youthfulness. A milky and smooth complexion is perceived as attractive.

In India, fair skin and a lighter complexion are considered significant signs of beauty. The association between fair skin and beauty is definite in that culture.

The Cultural Ideal of Facial Beauty

Despite the cross-cultural similarity in the qualities of facial beauty, which I noted above, in some societies, men may perceive women with a large chin, a large nose, and small eyes as attractive, while in others, they may be considered unattractive. For example, people on Mangaia, the island in the South Pacific Ocean, think that attractive Mangaian girls have:

“a smiling face, shiny black hair, small eyes ‘like those of a pigeon,’ with small breasts, large hips and round cheeks; her lips should be neither too everted nor too thin, and she should have skin that is neither black nor white”

(Marshall, 1971, p. 124)

Who Is Attractive and Who Is Not? It Depends…

Beautiful women are physically attractive and have desirable bodies and faces. Do men always want them for mating and dating? Do they always love them? Yes, objectively, they may rate them attractive but select another one that is more beloved to them.

“Genetic factors cause sugar to be highly palatable but that does not prevent individuals from controlling their sugar intake.”

(Cunningham et al., 2002, p. 276).

“Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder”

We certainly like beautiful people, but we don’t necessarily love them. We love someone, not because he or she is beautiful. We rather see him or her as beautiful because we love him or her. In many cases, it is true that “Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.”

How we perceive people—attractive or not—depends on our moods (see for review, Cunningham et al., 1995).

Being in an optimistic, neutral, or pessimistic mood, we can see others in positive or negative ways. A passionate lover sees the world brighter, while he or she perceives the loved one more romantically and idealistically than they actually are. The lover looks at the beloved and the relationship through “rosy filters.” The perception of shortcomings and flaws fades.

When we are in love, we are selective; we do not perceive other individuals of opposite sexes as beautiful as our beloved. We do not see other possible mates as attractive because we unintentionally downplay their beauty. They are good-looking but not beautiful.

According to studies, a lover who is in a romantic relationship evaluates highly attractive people of the opposite sex as less attractive. Such a lower rating works as a defensive mechanism that helps the lover guard his or her love for the current partner from other possible rivals (Simpson, Gangestad, & Lerma, 1990).

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Sexual Preferences for Physical Attractiveness

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To what extent do men and women place different values on different aspects of physical attractiveness when trying to mate?

Evolutionary science gives us important keys for better understanding the mating value of physical attractiveness. However, despite the general universality of evolution, its specific evolutionary principles and mechanisms vary across species and cultures. Many of them refer to sex differences.

Let us consider sexual differences in the value of physical attractiveness in mating.

Why Do Male and Female Animals and Birds Look Different?

Physical appearance helps sexually dimorphic animals and humans select a mate. Many species, including mammals and birds, have their own mate preferences and focus their courtship energy on those favorites (see e.g., Andersson 1994; Fisher, 1998).

When it comes to mating and sexual relations, they are not promiscuous. They are picky and won’t mate with just anyone. They communicate their love and attraction.

“They stroke, kiss, nip, nuzzle, pat, tap, lick, tug, or playfully chase this chosen one. Some sing. Some whinny. Some squeak, croak, or bark. Some dance. Some strut. Some preen. Some chase. Most play”

(Fisher, 2004, p.27).

Males and females differ in appearance and behavior. As I noted elsewhere, in some species, like birds, evolutionary mechanisms tend to beautify males, making their appearance attractive for female mates. They need to be distinctive and attract a potential female for mating. On the other hand, the appearance of females is less appealing among those species. It seems they are on demand anyway (Prum, 2017).

How Women and Men Appreciate their Partners’ Physical Attractiveness: Evolutionary Explanation

People are different in this respect. According to presumed human evolutionary mechanisms, women are more frequently concerned about their appearance and beauty compared to men, who care about this much less (see for review, e.g. Buss, 1994; Feingold, 1990).

These sex differences might be due to human evolutionary roots, which determine the different mating strategies of males and females. Here is an evolutionary interpretation of sex differences in mating. Since women and men have different contributions to the reproduction of offspring, they have different mating strategies and different parental investments (Buss 1989, Trivers, 1972).

Cross-cultural consistencies of these sex differences support such an evolutionary interpretation. Men place a higher value on their female partner’s physical attractiveness in mating relationships. Studies have shown such evidence across many cultural samples worldwide (e.g., Buss, 1989, 1994; Buss et al., 1990; Buss, Shackelford, Kirkpatrick, & Larsen, 2001; Feingold, 1992; Fletcher, Tither, O’Loughlin, Friesen, & Overall, 2004; Langlois et al. 2000; Shackelford, Schmitt, & Buss, 2005; Sugiyama, 2005; Townsend & Wasserman, 1998, see for review, Karandashev, 2022a,).

Here are some cultural examples. In Arab Jordanian society, men prefer young and attractive prospective female mates for long-term relationships. On the other hand, Jordanian women place less value on these characteristics in men when mating (Khallad, 2005).

Another study of Muslims living in the United States found that in their personal advertisements on a matrimonial Web site, women more often described their physical attractiveness compared to men’s self-descriptions. However, these gender differences in preferences for a physically attractive mate are not significant. Nonetheless, men are more interested in their younger and more attractive mates than women are (Badahdah & Tiemann, 2005). 

How Men and Women Value their Partners’ Physical Attractiveness: Cultural Explanation

Cultural interpretation of sex differences in the value they place on physical appearance in mating and dating is also possible. These differences might be due to cultural gender stereotypes. Patriarchal cultures, which have been prevalent in many societies for centuries, encouraged men to rely on their wealth as a mating value. So their appearance was of less mating value. On the other hand, women’s cultural roles left them dependent on men for their survival and wealth. Therefore, they could rely largely on their appearance and ability to reproduce.

History, however, has demonstrated much more diversity in gender roles, which did not necessarily follow these cultural patterns. In some societies and social circles, women might play different roles. For example, in many agrarian societies, women’s abilities to cook and work hard were more important than their beauty (Karandashev, 2017).

The current reality of social life across cultures, however, presents a diversity of gender differences and similarities that may go beyond the simple evolutionary explanation. Many modern men love to beautify themselves, while many modern women do not care about this.

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