The Culturally Low-Expressed Emotion of Love

This article presents the findings of multiple studies on how low levels of expressed emotion are culturally typical for people in traditional collectivistic societies.

Other articles on this website have presented an abundance of cross-cultural findings on the physical traits—face, body, skin, tactile, and olfactory senses—that people find attractive in their prospective mates and romantic partners. These qualities are markedly physiological. And they refer to the static physical appearance and beauty that are widely valued and similar across many societies. Their cultural value and specific embodiment, however, vary depending on ecological, social, and cultural contexts. Their significance varies greatly between traditional collectivistic and modern individualistic societies (Karandashev, 2022a).

Many studies have shown that the value of expressive features of physical appearance in love relationships and marriages culturally varies from one society to another.

The Cultures of Low- versus High- Expressed Emotion

Based on the findings of numerous studies, I have compiled comprehensive descriptions of (1) highly-expressive and low-expressive cultural models of emotions as well as (2) models of direct and indirect emotional expression. These models demonstrate the diversity of ways in which people express their emotions in different cultures, including the most visible ones such as facial expressions (Karandashev, 2021).

A recent series of cross-cultural studies supported the theory that physical characteristics valued most in romantic partners differ in traditional and modernized societies (Karandashev et al., 2016, 2020).

Relatively traditional collectivistic societies (such as Jamaica, Georgia, and Russia) are mostly survival cultures, which are characterized by the superiority of the Power Distance value and a diminished role of Individualism, Indulgence and Emancipation values. These cultures are largely conservative and encourage reserved and suppressed facial and bodily expressiveness. Results of the studies showed that physiologically determined, static physical qualities of a romantic partner’s appearance, such as facial characteristics, body shape, quality of skin, voice, and smell, are especially valuable for men and women in traditional (less modernized) societies. People in these cultures largely do not consider expressive faces and bodies as important to their romantic partners (Karandashev et al., 2016, 2020).

Cultural Traditions of Low Expressed Emotion in East Asian Cultures

The historical cultural norms of East-Asian cultures, substantially influenced by Confucianism, emphasize self-control, low-arousal emotions, and inhibited displays of emotion in public. People normatively practice reserved interpersonal contact and expressive suppression. These societies have been traditionally conservative and low-contact cultures (Barnlund, 1975; Klopf & Thompson, 1991; McDaniel & Andersen, 1998).

As low-contact cultures, East Asian societies prefer more distant and reserved interaction in their daily communication, with a lack of sensory contacts and tactile and expressive behavior. They exhibit low expressed emotion, even within families (McDaniel &; Andersen, 1998; Remland, Jones, & Brinkman, 1991).

In East Asian cultures, people respect the emotional norms that encourage such personality traits as being modest, introverted, silent, quiet, and reluctant to interrupt, with a priority of diplomacy over truth, as well as little body and facial expressiveness (Nishimura et al., 2008).

Nonverbally, men and women prefer greater distance in interaction, close body positions, a lack of eye contact, less vocal animation, a lack of touching, a lack of smiling, and less expressiveness

East Asian cultural tradition suggests that being emotional means a lack of self-control. Therefore, they tend to suppress their expression of emotions. They say “good” rather than “fantastic.” They say “not very good,” rather than “terrible.” When they express strong personal affection, they prefer an indirect and hesitant style of communication because they believe that direct verbal expressions of love and respect give the impression of being ingenuine and suspicious. Verbal praise and excessive compliments can make a partner feel embarrassed (Gudykunst & Kim, 1984, p. 142).

For example, the results of recent studies suggest that people from Japanese culture tend to display low expressivity, or at least endorse the norms of low emotional expressiveness (e.g., Safdar et al., 2009).

Cultural motivations toward interdependence and social harmony likely determine Asians and Americans of Asian descent to exhibit habitual expressive suppression of emotions (especially socially disengaging emotions) as normative for this type of culture (Schouten et al., 2020; Sun & Lau, 2018).

In China, the East Asian society of low expressiveness, the cultural norms of inhibition and restraint tend to prevail in the experience and expression of emotions. In studies (e.g., Eid & Diener, 2001), Chinese experienced lower intensity and frequency of emotions (both positive and negative) in comparison with Taiwanese, Australians, and European Americans. The cultural values of moderation and suppression of emotions are highly valued in Chinese culture.

East Asians are not only less expressive but also less assertive. They prefer to suppress their expression of negative messages and confrontations (see for review, Lim, 2013).

East Asian emotional styles are suppressive rather than expressive, as in European and American cultures. However, unlike in modern expressive societies, East Asians’ suppressive style does not have the same negative impact on their well-being. 

Conservative Gender Roles of Dominance and Submissiveness in East Asian cultures and the Cultural Norms of Low Expressed Emotion

East Asian cultures have also been conservative in their public attitudes toward gender roles of dominance and submissiveness. Cultural norms for men were to express their own power and social status, while for women, they were to display their unassertive and submissive nature (Dalby, 1983; Wolf, 1974). Their appearance, exhibiting low sexual maturity and expressiveness, conveyed the impression of submissiveness.

Men in such societies, which endorse submissive female roles, have a cultural preference for minimal cheekbone prominence, rounded cheeks, a small mouth, and few maturity cues. East-Asian men preferred neotenous white skin, a round childlike face, and an inexpressive mouth with a small smile (cited in Cunningham et al., 1995). The traditional patterns of formal makeup constrained their facial expressions of emotion. These practices followed the cultural values of modesty, sexual immaturity, and inexpressiveness, as they were expected from women in public stereotypes.

In Japan, men (as well as women) perceived a Japanese woman who smiled infrequently and in a closed body position as more attractive to them. In contrast with the modern self-expression norms of liberal societies, a large smile did not indicate intense positive motivation. Therefore, Japanese men (as well as women) perceived Japanese women who were expressive, frequently smiley in an open body position, and exhibited sexual maturity as being less attractive to them (Matsumoto & Ekman, 1989; McGinley, Blau, & Takai, 1984; see for detailed review, Karandashev, 2020).

Here Are Some Other Related Articles on This Topic

To better understand the low level of expressed emotion in collectivistic cultures, it is interesting to compare how people experience and express emotions in individualistic cultures and how the love of high expressed emotion is culturally normative in modern cultures.

It is also interesting to know about,

The Most Attractive Smell for Love

The partner’s attractive smell is important for love feelings. How much, and what is the most attractive smell for love? People are primarily visual and auditory mammals. However, even human love involves more than just visual and auditory admiration for a partner. Yet, as many know, looks and voice are very important to making a good impression on a loved one. But it is not everything.

Beauty can be found not only in the eye of the beholder but also in the nose of the beholder.

The function of smell is underappreciated in romantic love and other human affairs. The impressions coming from other senses, such as smell, also play roles in love and close relationships. Some laypeople and researchers can pretend that smell is not what makes us love another person. Olfaction is not a primary sense of communication between partners, yet it may still affect romantic relationships. The smell of each other can also be attractive or unattractive. This is why men and women widely use deodorants and perfumes to impress others (e.g., Roberts et al., 2011).

Love gradually progresses through more physically intimate relations, which engage body contact, physical affection, holding hands, touching shoulders, hugging, cuddling, caressing, kissing on the lips and face, and sexual intercourse. Then the olfactory senses begin to play an increasingly bigger role.

The Smell of Sex

For many lovers, sexual emotions are related to olfactory and gustatory sensory images (Shaw, 2008; Vroon et al., 1997). Body odors play a role in passionate sexual attraction (Cupchik et al. 2005; Pazzaglia 2015; Singh & Bronstad 2001). Besides natural body smells, perfumes and odorants boost the sexual attractiveness of a partner (Baron 1981; Mogilina et al. 2013).

For men, the body scents of their partners trigger their sexual interest and arousal. For men, olfactory and visual sensory sensations are equally important (Herz & Cahill 1997). And for women, the effect of the body scents of their partners is even stronger (Herz & Cahill 1997; Regan & Berscheid 1995). For women, the olfactory senses are the most influential (Herz & Cahill 1997).

Love Pheromones

Men and women naturally produce pheromones, the chemical substances that determine our body odor. The pheromones can regulate people’s emotions and moods. Their smell affects our sexual attraction and love. They stimulate sexual arousal, lust, and passionate feelings (e.g., Gower & Ruperelia, 1993; Grammer et al., 2005; Patzer, 1985; Pazzaglia, 2015). Even a whiff of another person’s body odor can trigger our desire and yearning. Pheromone attraction can cause other feelings of love.

In agreement with the theory of sexual selection, body odors can serve as signals of mate value. For men and women, olfaction may indicate the mates whose genes provide more variety for their offspring (e.g., Wedekind & Füri, 1997; Wedekind, Seebeck, Bettens, & Paepke, 1995). Compatible partners would say, “I like the taste of her kiss!”

Attractive Odors in Love

Smells of love are controlled not only by pheromones but also by other odors of our body and mouth, such as their freshness and perfumes. These odors play an affective and sexual role in close relationships (Cupchik, Phillips, & Truong, 2005). According to several studies, the body scents of others affect men’s and women’s sexual interest, especially among women (Herz & Cahill, 1997; Regan & Berscheid, 1995). A pleasant odor facilitates interpersonal attraction, whereas an unpleasant odor lessens it. The natural smell can be pleasant and attractive. However, artificial odorants essentially alter men’s preferences, boosting the attractiveness of female smells. (Pierce, Cohen, & Ulrich, 2004; Sodavari et al., 2014; see for a review, Karandashev et al., 2016, 2020).

Smells can be unpleasant or even repulsive to a partner. The smell from a partner’s mouth in the morning before brushing teeth is an example. Some may like the smell of smoking a cigarette, yet in my student days, there was a saying:

“Kissing partners after they smoke reminds me of the taste of an ashtray.”

The Smell of Love  

As for the olfactory modality, the smell of the partner’s skin and breath, the taste of their lips, and the scent of their perfume or cologne—all these senses contribute to the olfactory feelings of attraction.

It was found that pleasant odors strengthen romantic attraction, while unpleasant odors decrease it. In the presence of a noxious scent, lovers see another person as less attractive, while in the presence of a pleasant scent, they see someone as more attractive. It should be noted that an unpleasant odor diminishes love attraction more than a pleasant odor boosts it (Pierce et al., 2004; Sodavari et al., 2014). Therefore, we can see that the absence of the bad smell of a partner is more essential than the presence of a good one.

The feeling of gustation is closely intertwined with olfaction (Pinel, 1997). Many metaphoric love words use the sense of taste (e.g., “sweetie” and “honey”). Studies have shown that feelings of taste influence love attraction (Saegert et al., 1983; Ren et al., 2015). For example, the sweet taste of food boosts dopamine levels and feelings of passionate love (Hajnal et al., 2004; Fisher et al., 2005; Ren et al., 2015).

Researchers demonstrated that body odors are associated with other qualities of appearance. For example, the sexy body odors of women strongly correlate with their facial attractiveness, while the bad body odors of men correlate with their body asymmetry (Rikowski & Grammer, 1999). Another interesting finding is that the mere exposure effect, which I talked about in another post, also works with olfactory stimuli (e.g., Delplanque et al., 2015; Montoya et al., 2017). This means “the more we smell, the more we like,” unless an initial olfactory aversion occurs.

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Cultural Beauty and Body Modification

Obsession with physical appearance and body beautification has become extremely popular among many people in many cultural groups across the world. In some societies, people are more obsessed with their physical beauty than in others.

Even though women traditionally care more about facial beauty and cultural body modification than men do, many men also appreciate their facial and body appearance now more than ever before. As I commented elsewhere (another article), many studies (e.g., Langlois et al. 2000) show that gender differences are insignificant. Men and women consider the good-looking appearances of their prospective partners to be important qualities. Women prefer attractive male partners as much as men favor attractive female partners (see another article elsewhere). Both men and women like to look and appear at their best.

Cross-cultural Obsession with Face and Body Modification

Some people in modern Western cultures are obsessed with body and face modification. Cosmetics, cosmetic surgeries, silicone implants, liposuctions, and special diets for beauty have boosted efforts and desires for enhancement of physical appearance in many countries of the world, especially in Japan, South Korea, China, the United States, Mexico, Brazil, Argentina, Chile, and Colombia (e.g., Darling‐Wolf, 2004; Hua, 2013; Jones, 2017; Peiss, 2011; Sands & Adamson, 2014; Wolf, 1991).

Social Media Models the Standards of Beauty, which Has Inadequate Effects.

Fashion and beauty magazines, TV, movies, and other social media have been shaping modern standards of beauty. Some of them promote body images that are antithetical to evolutionary healthy beauty. They glorify unrealistic female body types and sexualize the female figure. A fashion icon of a woman frequently appears as “fair, tall, and willowy, often slightly androgynous; her body flawless due to medical procedures, and most of all thin, well below the recommended weight for her height.” (Austin, 2012, p. Many women yearn for the „twiggy‟ look and waif-like figure.

Unrealistic Body Standards  

The studies showed that in North America, the female body weights, as they are portrayed in beauty magazines, are substantially lower than the average body weight of women. The thin ideals of the female body have become more culturally restrictive and trigger body dissatisfaction, which can lead to unhealthy weight control. The tendencies to develop low body esteem and eating disorders (anorexia and bulimia symptoms) among young women have become quite prevalent in North America (Canadians, European Americans, Asian Americans, Lokken, Worthy, & Trautmann, 2004; Nouri, Hill, & Orrell-Valente, 2011; Saraceni & Russell-Mayhew, 2007), in Japan (Kowner, 2002, Shih & Kubo, 2005), Taiwan (Shih & Kubo, 2005), as well as in India (Austin, 2012).

Western Beauty with Light Skin

Studies have shown that men and women across many countries prefer light skin, despite their own natural skin color, which they have due to their race and ethnic features (see another article in this blog). Such inadequacy of skin preferences stems from social learning and the widespread White standards of beauty in social media.

Because of this, many people have more positive attitudes towards light skin versus dark skin (e.g., Baumann, 2008; Meyers, 2011). Recent research findings revealed that young men and women in 26 countries of middle income and emerging economies in Asia, Africa, and the Americas stated that they prefer light skin. They have biased kin preferences. As a result, they use skin lighteners more frequently than they did previously (Peltzer et al., 2016).  

Cultural Beauty and Self-Esteem

What are the consequences of the low self-esteem of face and body beauty for love relationships? Individuals who have low self-esteem about their own attractiveness are less likely to initiate relationships, possibly due to a fear of rejection  (Berscheid et al., 1971).

They also have less confidence in interaction, high anxiety, and insecure attachment (Ambwani & Strauss, 2007; Cash, Theriault, & Annis, 2004; Nezlek, 1999; Sheets & Ajmere, 2005).

For example, young women with heavier body weights experienced less relationship satisfaction. Besides, overweight women are less likely to be in dating relationships compared to their peers. However, men with heavier body weights experienced more relationship satisfaction (Sheets & Ajmere, 2005).

Among the Other Topics of Interest in this Regard Are:

Western Beauty Standards in Cross-Cultural Perspectives

Do modern people place the same value on the physical attractiveness of prospective partners as previous generations? Do they look at and value their beauty the same way as in the past? In Western European and North American media, modern beauty standards are widely promoted. Are they universal and the same in other societies? In this article, I review the studies of Western beauty standards from a cross-cultural perspective.

The Modern Tendencies in Appreciation of Beauty

Men and women have always wanted to find a beautiful partner for a relationship. A beautiful appearance definitely incites romantic love. Many people believed that for men, the beauty of women was a more desired quality than the beauty of men for women.

However, in modern times, the cultural value of beauty in finding an appropriate partner has significantly increased not only among men but also among women. The cross-sectional research of Buss and his colleagues in the USA showed that during the 57-year period (1939–1996), the importance of physical attractiveness in a prospective mate increased for both men and women (Buss et al., 2001).

There was an old evolutionary theory according to which men expected to mate with good-looking women, while women cared less about the physical appearance of men. However, this stereotype is not valid anymore. According to recent studies, physical attractiveness has a strong impact on women’s rating of a target man as a desirable partner. Personality traits are important, but only for those prospective male partners who are physically attractive. Women rated men with desirable personality traits favorably as mating partners only when they perceived them as moderately or highly attractive. Women never rated men with desirable personality traits as desirable partners if they perceived them as unattractive (e.g., Fugère, Madden, & Cousins, 2019).

Western Beauty Standards

The new cultural trend of heightened interest in physical attractiveness could be due to the surge of beautiful visual media images via fashion magazines, movies, television, the Internet, and other virtual realities. According to recent studies conducted across 12 countries, the globalization of Western beauty standards is an overwhelmingly expanding tendency (Yan & Bissell, 2014).

In terms of role model references, Western European and North American magazines keep the dominant position in shaping global beauty standards, while Asian magazines remain relatively independent. However, fashion magazines in South Africa and Latin America tend to be assimilated into the Western cultural norms of beauty.

In the United States of America, Western standards of beauty are predominant, despite the great racial diversity of the population. Many White, Black, Latina, and Asian women in American society tend to follow these White conceptions of mainstream beauty.

Culturally Specific Body Identities and Western Beauty Standards

When looking for a relationship, men and women not only want to find a beautiful or handsome partner, but also consider their self-perception: their own appearance, along with corresponding self-esteem and confidence. How do people of other races, ethnicities, and cultures perceive their own body identity in reference to these Western cultural standards?

Overall, the more a person fits into general societal or specific cultural norms of appearance, the more he or she feels confident in interaction with a partner. Individuals of different cultural backgrounds may differ in their orientation to cultural norms in this regard. Their own racial body identity may be at a disadvantage in social comparison with those.

Do they accept or deny such dissonance?

According to one study, an individual’s relations with dominant norms of beauty and their relations with their own bodies vary considerably among White, Black, Asian, and Latina women. Denying diversity is a typical tendency. However, women of different races differ in the extent to which they engage in the denial of personal disadvantage (Poran, 2002).

How Do Asian Women Feel About Western Beauty Standards?

For example, Asian women experience greater dissatisfaction with their own bodies than do Black and White women. For Asians, mainstream standards of beauty can become a potentially threatening factor for their self-concept and self-esteem. Asian women and men tend to rate White people as more physically attractive than Asians (Mok, 1998; White & Chan, 1983). This comparison may appear to be an upward process stigmatizing them. Exposure to mainstream ideals of beauty can cause problems for Asian women in maintaining positive self-perceptions because they do not employ self-protective strategies. Suffering from lower self-esteem impedes them from having intercultural relationships (Chin Evans & McConnell, 2003).

How Do Black Women Feel About Western Beauty Standards?

Black women are less affected by mainstream beauty standards than Asians and Whites. Among Black women, there is the same or better body satisfaction and global self-esteem compared to White and Asian women (Chin Evans & McConnell, 2003; Porter & Washington, 1979; Rucker & Cash, 1992).

Black women and men do not strongly adhere to mainstream White standards of appearance in their self-evaluations. In the case of being overweight, they do not admit the stigmatizing effect because they believe that cultural ideals of thinness are not applicable to their self-evaluation. Rebuffing mainstream standards of thinness, Black women judge overweight women less negatively and experience less negative self-esteem about being overweight (Hebl & Heatherton, 1998).

They are capable of employing self-protective strategies (Crocker et al., 1998).

For example,

“Black women did not find mainstream standards as relevant to themselves and reported positive self-evaluations generally and about their bodies in particular. Asian women, on the other hand, responded differently than Black women and were more likely to endorse mainstream beauty standards in a similar fashion to White women.”

(Poran, 2002, p. 153).

Among the Other Topics of Interest in this Regard Are:

How Social Propinquity Leads to Love

The article explains how social propinquity and residential proximity affect our interpersonal relationships, love, and marriage.

Men and women tend to like those with whom they get together frequently. In social science, this is called the “propinquity effect.”

They have favorable attitudes and interpersonal attraction towards them, unless there is some aversion from the first encounters. Social psychologists call this phenomenon the “mere exposure effect.”

This is often how our positive relationships and in-group bias develop. This is how we often find friends and fall in love with a girl or boy in our immediate proximity. This can be a benchmate, a classmate sitting next to you, or a guy living nearby in the neighborhood. This can be a spatial or virtual proximity between people who meet in person or online.

The Effect of Residential Proximity and Social Propinquity on Love

Residential propinquity is the geographic proximity and physical closeness between people residing in certain neighborhoods. Spatial nearness is an important factor for the initiation of different kinds of relationships (e.g., Alphonso, 2016).

As for romantic and marital relationships, the role of propinquity is evident both in traditional and modern societies.

How Residential Propinquity Affects Marital Choice in the United States

In America, the early studies examined the residential propinquity of couples in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and New Haven, Connecticut. In 1931, sociologists examined the residential distance between the partners before they dated each other. About one-third of married couples resided within five or fewer blocks of each other when they first met. In cases where men and women resided farther from each other, the chance of marriage was lower—markedly and steadily (Bossard, 1932; Davie & Reeves, 1939).

Residential segregation was the most likely ecological factor explaining why propinquity influences marriage selection. Homogamy of economic, social, and cultural traits as well as ethnic endogamy could also explain why closer neighbors are more likely to marry each other. The propinquity effect was especially strong among American Jews, American Italians, and African Americans, probably due to their tendencies to settle in proximity to their cultural residential communities (Kennedy, 1943).

Another American study was conducted in the 1950s in Duluth, Minnesota, demonstrating the same propinquity effect.

Only “one-fifth of all the couples lived within five or less blocks of each other. The percentage of marriages decreased as the distance between residences increased…”

(Marches & Turbeville, 1953, p. 592).

However, the results showed a weaker propinquity impact than the earlier study in Philadelphia 20 years before. The effect of residential propinquity in marriage selection was once again confirmed. However, the importance of geographical location was lower—likely due to historical changes in the degree of residential segregation.

How Residential Propinquity Affects Marital Choice in New Zealand

Researchers also found the effect of residential propinquity and segregation of social status groups on marital choice in their study in Christchurch, New Zealand (Morgan, 1981).

How Residential Propinquity Affects Marital Choice in Israel

Another study was conducted in Israel, a society where young men and women often reside far from their permanent home regions (due to military service) for several years. As a result of such high mobility among youth, the effect of residential propinquity on dating was less important. The marriage records of 1974–1975 obtained in a centrally located town showed that the effect of residential propinquity on marital choice is lower in that country, with some variations. Cultural factors, however, influenced the effects of residential propinquity: Jews of Eastern origins were more affected by propinquity than Jews of Western origins (Tabory & Weller, 1986).

Residential propinquity and marital choice in India and Pakistan

How Residential Propinquity Affects Marital Choice in India

The factor of territorial propinquity is salient in tribal and traditional societies with limited relational mobility, such as the Lingāyats, a religious group in southern India. Interviews with the heads of the Lingāyat families in a suburb of Dharwar City showed that kinship marriage is preferential. Endogamy and hypergamy are very important rules of mate selection. The rules of this cultural group’s endogamy determine the geographical propinquity of their marital relationships (Chekki, 1968).

How Residential Propinquity Affects Marital Choice in Pakistan

The same role of residential propinquity was found in the study of an urban Muslim community in Karachi, the largest city in Pakistan, conducted in 1961–1964 (Korson, 1968). While among the lower class, the residential distance between husband and wife at the time of marriage was shorter, in the upper social class, the residential distance was higher.

Residential Propinquity and Homogamy in Relationships

The residential structure of a neighborhood according to socioeconomic class, race, and ethnicity, as well as limited communication between cultural groups, certainly lead to segregation. Such segregation, along with propinquity, can be a factor affecting in-group bias in marital choice. Propinquity usually causes homogamy: partners are more favorable to one another in the same local community, church, city, or country. Due to these factors, partners in a dating relationship are often similar to each other in social class, culture, religious affiliation, and education.

Although propinquity generally means physical proximity, modern online technologies of mating extend the concept and expand the opportunities for meeting potential partners. The reported level of intimacy in computer-mediated relationships is not related to the physical distance between partners. Geographical distance does not play the same role in this case as the level of self-disclosure (Merkle & Richardson, 2004).

Among the Other Topics of Interest in this Regard Are:

You Fall in Love with Someone Genetically Similar to You

This article explains the surprising findings of studies which show that you are more likely to fall in love with someone who has genetic similarities to you.

The Irresistible Attraction of Genetic Similarity

What is more attractive to a loving person: similarities or differences? What draws people to each other? Do they like those who resemble themselves, or do opposites attract? It is commonly known that “birds of a feather flock together.” Multiple studies have also provided evidence to support this similarity effect (see for review, Karandashev, 2019).

Studies have demonstrated that men and women tend to initiate relationships with those who resemble them in such characteristics as socio-economic status, income, ethnicity, religion, cultural identity, age, and even body type (Karandashev, 2022).

Generally, when it comes to race, ethnicity, or even size and shape, people tend to fall in love with those like themselves. Spouses tend to have a higher level of genetic similarity than two random strangers.

Are We Genetically Predisposed to Fall in Love?

The quality of our relationship is influenced by more than just our shared experiences with a partner. In evolutionary terms, establishing interconnectedness necessitates the display of similarities between organisms. In humans, we tend to select our mating partners according to the principle of optimal genetic similarity. Because sexually dimorphic animals like humans cannot produce healthy offspring with anyone, intersexual attraction aids them in the proper selection of a mate. It’s possible that biological evolution has created a psychological mechanism that unconsciously attracts us to mates who are similar to us while excluding those who are significantly different (Lampert 1997).

We tend to fall in love with others who are genetically similar to us and look alike. We are drawn to each other subliminally because of our genetic resemblance (Robinson et al., 2017).

On the other hand, this evolutionary mechanism of optimal genetic similarity prevents incest in human societies and other species, reinforcing incest taboos (Lampert 1997).

Genetic Studies of Marital Similarity

Genetic similarities with the partner appear to be important for their short-term sexual attraction and long-term loving relationships. For example, the thousands of cases of DNA paternity tests provided evidence that men and women, when they were in sexual relations, were genetically more similar to each other than random couples (Rushton, 1988).

These findings suggest that partners are likely to recognize their genetic similarity. They experience sexual attraction without even realizing it.

Another genetic study using genome-wide SNPs in a sample of married couples in the US is also in support of this similarity explanation (Domingue et al., 2014).

Researchers discovered that spouses have significantly more genetic similarities than any two randomly chosen individuals. Surely, compared to siblings, who have around 40–60% genetic similarity, marital partners share considerably less genetic similarity. Thus, spouses tend to share a greater degree of genetic similarity than other members of the population. The contribution of a genetic factor is statistically significant. Yet it is a relatively modest one.

How Our Genes Make Us Fall in Love

The GG genotype is the set of specific genes within the oxytocin gene receptor that affects our feelings of love. The studies of the GG genotype show how genetics affect a person’s feelings toward another and a relationship between partners. Our genes determine what hormones we are predisposed to and, therefore, what personal traits we exhibit in relationships. When our hormone levels are out of balance, we may have difficulties in our ability to create interpersonal relationships and bonds. For instance, low levels of testosterone and estrogen can cause low sexual drive. Consequently, this may cause low relationship satisfaction.

Several studies have demonstrated that individuals who have the GG genotype have greater sociability, empathy, and emotional stability. It has been shown that these psychological resources are associated with happier close relationships (see for review, Monin et al., 2019).

The quality of our marriage is influenced by more than just our shared experiences. A recent study of the GG genotype, which included 178 American couples, discovered its genetic impact on marital relationships (Monin et al., 2019). Researchers revealed that when at least one person in a couple has the GG genotype, he or she is less anxious in psychological attachment to the partner, and both partners benefit by feeling significantly higher marital satisfaction than other couples with different genotypes. Even though the percentage of this genetic impact on marital satisfaction is small (about 4%), it is statistically significant compared to other factors.

How Environmental, Social, and Cultural Factors Make Us Fall in Love

Environmental, social, and cultural factors also play a substantial role in explaining why we fall in love (see more elsewhere). Similarities in social class, political orientation, ethnicity, religion, education, interests, and characters of partners play substantial roles, which are frequently more important than genetic similarities.

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We Love Those Who Are Similar to Us

“Similarity psychology” and positive assortative mating play an important role in love relationships. We like others who are not only beautiful but also similar to ourselves.

It seems natural to like and love those who are beautiful. Men and women tend to favor physically attractive men and women. When asked, they frequently express their preferences for good-looking prospective partners (Buss and others). Do they really choose those with attractive appearances for a relationship? Are men more likely to fall in love with beautiful women than women are to fall in love with handsome men?

Do We Love Others Who Are Beautiful or Similar to Us?

The puzzle remains: if beautiful women and men are so attractive, why don’t we fall in love with the most beautiful ones? Three explanations are possible.

  1. Men and women perceive them as beautiful yet unattainable. The anxiety of not being accepted by a beautiful person makes them cautious, even subconsciously, to avoid the frustration of implied and tacit rejection. This might work as a psychological defense mechanism.
  2. It is possible that we love someone for reasons other than their beauty. Beauty just adds to our admiration. However, causation can also work in the opposite way: we perceive our beloved as beautiful because we love him or her.
  3. People tend to prefer homogamy in relationships and similarity with another person in their physical appearance and other personal, social, and cultural features.

Let us consider how “similarity psychology” and positive assortative mating work in love relationships.

“Similarity Psychology” Attracts Us to Similar Men and Women

The early studies showed that partners in marriage were more likely to resemble each other than to differ in physical and psychological traits, even though those similarities and differences varied among social characteristics (Brockner & Swap, 1976; Burgess & Wallin, 1943).

The similarity in values, beliefs, attitudes, and personality traits also plays a role in the choice of a mating partner. Partners with similar attitudes, as well as those who see each other more frequently, are more attracted to each other in general (Aron et al., 1989; Byrne et al., 1971).

The studies in different cultures confirmed these tendencies.

In the 1990s, a large survey of the Spanish population showed that individuals are more likely to fall in love with potential partners who they view as similar to themselves in physical attractiveness (Yela & Sangrador, 2001).

Due to romantic idealization, they have a positive bias toward a partner and perceive him or her as a little more attractive than themselves. Over the course of a long-term relationship, habituation diminishes the value of the partner’s physical attractiveness. Over time, familiarity and cognitive dissonance counterbalance physical attractiveness. The role of these and other attributes increases.

How Positive Assortative Mating Works

There is strong evidence that people who prefer positive assortative mating choose to mate with those who are similar to themselves. This type of selection—also called homogamyis quite common in several individual characteristics.

Positive assortative mating also works with physical traits. For example, a person of short stature tends to mate with another person of similar height. This tendency of men and women to select mating partners with similar phenotypes motivates them to fall in love with those of similar physical appearance.

Many studies have demonstrated that individuals prefer relationships with others who have physical characteristics similar to themselves (e.g., Bereczkei et al., 2002; Zajonc et al., 1987).

Furthermore, individuals decide to initiate a dating relationship with those whose “social desirability” is similar to their own. They are associated with a lower likelihood of possible rejection (Berscheid et al., 1971).

Why Do Mates Look Alike?

Two effects can play roles in such preferences:

  • early childhood imprinting and
  • self-referent phenotype matching.

The relationship with caregivers during childhood plays a role. The early childhood imprinting of caregiving experiences can shape the expectations of desirable partners for mating (e.g., Bateson, 2004; Bereczkei et al, 2004).

Specifically, due to sexual imprinting, people see others they grew up with as sexually attractive. The opposite-sex caregiver’s phenotype can be used as a model for future mate preference. This can be a parent, stepparent, or other early caregiver with whom a child spends much of their time in the early years. For example, women tend to choose partners that resemble their adoptive fathers (Bereczkei et al., 2004).

Due to self-referential phenotype matching, an individual may prefer a person who resembles themselves. Or, alternatively, the homogamy can be due to the sexual imprinting of the parents in childhood. The results of the study demonstrated that a tendency to homogamy in facial characteristics between partners in a relationship really exists and occurs largely due to self-referent phenotype matching and, to some degree, due to sexual imprinting (Nojo et al., 2012).

Do Partners Become Alike Over the Course of a Relationship?

Since men and women prefer phenotypically similar mates, this leads to mating homogamy in physical traits between partners.

Another factor can also play a role in increasing facial homogamy.

One study demonstrated that partners who live with each other for a long period of time become physically similar in their facial features. Their facial similarity increases and becomes apparent after 25 years of cohabitation. Moreover, those with such an increasing resemblance experienced greater marital happiness. The authors proposed a “vascular theory of emotional efference” (VTEE) to explain this effect (McIntosh, Zajonc, et al., 1997; Zajonc et al., 1987).

According to this idea, emotional processes cause vascular alterations that are influenced in part by facial musculature. The face muscles are thought to operate as ligatures on veins and arteries, allowing blood to be diverted away from or directed toward the brain. As a result, habitual usage of facial musculature may have a long-term effect on facial features. Two people who have lived together for a long time will develop physical similarities in their facial features as a result of frequent empathic imitation. Kin resemblance may thus be more than just a result of shared genes but also of long-term social contact and the mere exposure effect.

The Other Articles of Interest on the Topic

Genetic Secrets of Love Attraction

Attraction to Familiar Others

Genetic Diversity and Genetic Sexual Attraction

Our Predisposition to Homogamy in Love

Sexual Preferences for Physical Attractiveness

What’s an Ideal Age Difference in Dating?

Physical Beauty of Men and Women Across Cultures

Women and Men Who Are Physically Attractive in Different Cultures

The Types of Beautiful Skin Colors in Different Cultures

Visual, tactile, and olfactory perceptions of skin play important roles in love attraction. They are among the favorite sensory features that are attractive to lovers. For example, studies have revealed that clear, smooth, and soft skin of a nice color, good-looking lips, long hair, a muscular build, and a great stature are valuable mating qualities (see for review, Karandashev et al., 2016). The types of beautiful skin, however, vary in different cultures.

Why Does Beautiful Skin Matter in Love?

Men and women appreciate the skin of their partners’ bodies, faces, lips, hands, and hair, which are clear and nicely looking, feel soft and smooth, and smell good. While they are kissing, men and women enjoy seeing how lovely the lips look and how smoothly they feel. They enjoy seeing and touching their partner’s good hair (Karandashev et al., 2016).

The researchers revealed that skin tone, hair length, and hair color influence perceptions of women’s physical attractiveness, health, and fertility (Swami et al. 2008).

The cultural value of beautiful skin is higher in a warm climate

Researchers believe that the importance of skin characteristics for the attractiveness of mates depends on the climate—hotter or colder. In a warm climate, people tend to wear light clothes that expose their skin more, compared to a cold climate where people need clothes to keep their bodies warm. A recent study showed that in countries with a warmer climate, such as Portugal and Georgia, women place a higher value on skin characteristics. In contrast to this, in the cold climate of Russia, skin characteristics had low importance for both men and women (Karandashev et al., 2016, 2020).

What Skin Color Is Considered Beautiful in Various Cultures

A global anthropological project in the 1980s studied 51 cultures. Its results showed that preferences for lighter rather than darker skin color were evident in 92% of societies. Surprisingly, across all twelve Black African societies of the sub-Saharan region, people demonstrated similar preferences. It was a preference for lighter skin color.

It is possible that such a perception of lighter skin as more physically attractive could be due to evolutionary origins because African people of that time might not have had much exposure to white people’s images. Surprisingly, the priming and mere exposure effects of black relatives and tribal neighbors did not have much influence on the preferences in those presumably homogeneous societies (Van den Berge & Frost, 1986).

These preferences for light skin color could be explained by the evolution of sexual reproduction. The light skin color could function as an evolutionary neonate cue of infancy and youth. This preference for light skin could also stem from social learning and the widespread White standards of beauty in social media.

A recent study of young people in 26 middle- and emerging-income countries across Africa, Asia, and the Americas (with more than 19 thousand participants) showed that light skin preferences were still prevalent across the world. As a result, people are increasingly turning to skin lighteners (Peltzer et al., 2016).

Cultural Preferences for Skin Tone in America

Results of another study, conducted in the multicultural society of the United States, were more supportive of priming, the mere exposure effect, and social learning. Researchers found that African American, Anglo-American, and Mexican American children of a younger age perceived the others in each ethnic group as similarly attractive. However, the older children from each cultural group perceived people from their own ethnic group as more attractive than people from other ethnic groups (Langlois & Stephan, 1977).

Several other studies investigated skin color preferences in ratings of attractiveness in the USA (e.g., Cunningham et al., 1995; Neal and Wilson, 1989; Udry et al., 1971; Van den Berge & Frost, 1986).

Cultural Preferences for Light Skin Tone

Across several studies, White, Black, Asian Americans preferred women with lighter skin colors. For example, White and Black Americans perceive women with lighter skin colors as more attractive than those with darker skin colors (Neal and Wilson, 1989; Udry et al.,1971).

However, these effects of skin color on perceptions of attractiveness were not very strong. Researchers suggested that this preference for lighter skin color in women could be partially due to its cultural association with a youthful appearance (Cunningham et al., 1995).

Social Media Promotes the Light Beautiful Skin

Recent studies have confirmed that many people still prefer light skin tones over dark skin tones (e.g., Baumann, 2008; Meyers, 2011).

Many people believe that lighter skin tones are more beautiful. This effect might be due to the fact that magazines and advertisements tend to represent Whites more often than Blacks on their pages. Thus, the role of colorism is still pervasive in society, where widespread messages imply that lighter skin tones are symbolic of attractiveness. However, preferences appear to have shifted recently from fair and medium white skin to olive skin tone. Brown and black skin colors are still less popular in their representations.

In the United States, such preferences stem from the country’s history since slavery times, when people’s skin tones created segregated cultures. A person’s lighter skin tone was often associated with being privileged and intelligently Caucasian (European American), in comparison to the darker skin associated with being aggressive and unintelligently African American. For women of both races, lighter skin tones were associated with the ideal of purity and innocence, while dark skin tones were associated with unclean and tainted images (Baumann, 2008).

Beautiful Skin Color Preferences in Intercultural Relationships

Skin color and other racial features play roles in physical attraction between men and women in the context of interracial relationships. Despite widely documented preferences for lighter skin, many people prefer mating partners of the same race. They prefer to select those who appear familiar and similar to them (see another article here).

A former student once asked me,

“Is it preference or prejudice if a white woman prefers a white man over a black man for a dating relationship?”

How do we tell the difference between preference and prejudice in such delicate aspects of interpersonal relationships?

Other Articles of Interest on the Topic

Attractive Body Types in Different Cultures

Face and body qualities are the most important physical features that people look for in a potential partner. In a previous article, I talked about the facial characteristics that men and women in different cultures find attractive in other people. In this post, I’ll talk about the body types of others that people perceive as attractive. Are attractive body types similar or different across cultures?

Men and women often have different expectations of their potential partners in this regard. The standards of body beauty have varied across times and societies—in history as well as between today’s cultures. The main differences in preferences for body type, body fat, and body waist-hip ratio are probably between cultural norms in subsistence-based, traditional, and modern societies (Karandashev et al., 2020; 2022b).

I propose that modernization theory (Inglehart, 1997; Inglehart & Baker, 2000; Inglehart & Welzel, 2005) can explain the cultural evolution of how attractive body types change across societies.

Attractive Body Types in Subsistence-based Societies

Different cultures have different ideas about how body weight and waist-to-hip ratio affect the attractiveness of various body types.

For instance, the standards of beauty in simple subsistence societies, in which gatherers and hunters could produce only for their survival, were in favor of a heavier body. In such societies with a high risk of food shortages, men often prefer women with more fat (e.g., Anderson et al., 1992; Brown and & Konnor, 1987; Sugiyama, 2004).

In particular, a cross-cultural study supported the hypothesis that the preferences for slightly heavier female bodies and larger buttocks might have come from subsistence-based societies, such as some African ones. South African Zulus differ from the United Kingdom’s Caucasians in what female body types they consider attractive. In the context of Zulu culture, the optimal conditions for survival and reproduction and the corresponding social values are different. In the UK, a high body mass is perceived as a sign of low health and low fertility, while in rural South Africa it is a sign of high health and high fertility (Tovée, Swami, Furnham, & Mangalparsad, 2006).

Endomorph Attractive Body Types

The studies in isolated populations of societies with subsistence-based economies showed that the men’s preferences for women with a low waist-to-hip ratio, which were identified in the studies of modern societies, could be culturally specific to so-called Western cultures.

Researchers found that men in those local cultures take both waist-to-hip ratio and body weight into account when judging the attractive body types of women. Considering the waist-to-hip ratio, they still prefer women with higher body fat. They rate female attractiveness by weight, preferring heavier figures (e.g., Sorokowski & Sorokowska, 2012; Sugiyama, 2004; Wetsman & Marlowe, 1999; Yu & Shepard, 1998).

Three other examples of subsistence-based societies came from the studies of

All these tribes belong to hunter-gatherer, forager, or horticultural cultures. In these cultural groups, men take into account both WHR and body weight in their appraisals of female sexual attractiveness. For example, men in the Shiwiar tribe prefer high-WHR figures of women since they appear to weigh more among the high-weight figures. When differences in body weight are minimal, they prefer female WHR that is lower-than-locally-average. Among the Yali people of Papua, there are preferences for low WHR in women (Sorokowski & Sorokowska, 2012).

Thus, the cultural norms adjust the evaluation of sexual attractiveness to the local conditions of living in those subsistence-based societies.

Variation of Attractive Body Types in Modern Societies

Cultural groups in modern multicultural societies may have different preferences for body types. For example, waist-hip ratio (WHR) and body fat are among the important qualities of a female figure’s attractiveness to men. Cultural researchers identified the preference for a low waist-hip ratio as a characteristic of female attractiveness in modern industrialized societies. Therefore, preferences for low WHR can be an artifact of Western media exposure (e.g., Singh, 1993, Swami & Furnham, 2007). 

There are racial and ethnic differences in the preferences for these qualities of the body among people in the United States. Data indicated that Whites and Blacks have similar standards for facial attractiveness but different standards for body appearance (Cunningham et al., 1995).

Whites and Blacks evaluated attractiveness in relatively similar ways. Yet, the Black men rated the Black women as more attractive compared to the White men. A preference for the same race was evident, probably due to imprinting and the mere exposure effect on shaping their prototypical beauties.

African American men (compared to American Caucasian men) prefer a heavier female physique with larger buttocks but not a taller figure as their ideal female body. This preference of African American men for a slightly heavier female body could be a lingering effect of uncertainty among Africans about resource availability—the evolutionary legacy of subsistence-based cultures. In addition, it may reflect a psychological negation of the unhealthy tendency of White women toward anorexic-like thinness.

On the other hand, about 40% of American Caucasian men (compared to 7% Black men) do not like overweight women. One fifth of White men—much more likely than African American men—disliked large buttocks. Both American Caucasian and African American men frequently mentioned the buttocks of women as a source of attraction, but Blacks tended to use the adjectives “large” or “big,” while Whites used the adjectives “small” and “firm.” Many African American men perceive large buttocks as the most attractive feature in a woman’s body appearance, while many American Caucasian men perceive legs as the most attractive part of the body.

Other Articles of Interest on This Topic are

What Are Attractive Faces Across Cultures?

Are attractive faces are similar or different across cultures? Many evolutionary biologists and psychologists believe that certain features of human faces are universally attractive for mating in all societies.

This universality might be due to human biological roots. This is a valid assumption because the appearances of men and women have a significant evolutionary role in the attraction of mates for greater reproductive success (see more elsewhere).

Similarities in Attractive Faces Across Societies

Studies have found many cross-cultural similarities in the perception of attractive facial characteristics. For example, average facial qualities and female “neotenous” facial features are rated as attractive by Americans, Russians, Brazilians, Paraguayan Indians, and Venezuelan Indians when they look at the facial photographs of people from the United States, Brazil, and Paraguayan Indians (Jones & Hill, 1993).

Another study revealed that across many cultural samples, such as African Americans and European Americans, Hispanics, Asians, and Taiwanese, cultural conceptions of the beautiful face vary remarkably little. For example, many people in several cultural groups consider the faces of a woman with neonate large and widely spaced eyes with dilated pupils, high eyebrows, long hair, and a fuller hairstyle, a small nose, sexually mature high cheekbones, a small chin, an expressive, large smile, a narrow face with thin cheeks, and a full lower lip more attractive (Cunningham et al., 1995).

Other findings from four ethnic-cultural groups and 13 countries revealed that, despite their different racial appearance, Blacks, Asians, Whites, and Hispanics had somewhat similar beauty standards (Cunningham et al., 1995).

Westernization of Attractive Faces

Such similarities could be explained by the Westernization of facial beauty in the 20th century. Due to the mere exposure effect, the extensive presence of European and European American fashion periodicals, TV shows, and movies promoted such cultural dissemination. Prototypicality effects can also play a role.

Studies have also found that people from many other cultures, including Koreans, Black Nigerians, and Black Senegalese in Africa, African Americans, White Americans, British, and the culturally isolated Tsimane people from the Bolivian rainforest, substantially agree in their ratings of facial attractiveness (e.g., Coetzee, Greeff, Stephen, & Perrett, 2014; Martin, 1964; Silva, Lummaa, Muller, Raymond, & Alvergne, 2012; Zebrowitz, Bronstad, Montpare, 2011; Zebrowitz, Wang, Bronstad, Eisenberg, Undurraga, Reyes-García, & Godoy, 2012).

So, we can see that most people from different cultures agree on what is attractive. However, there are still some differences. They are mostly due to prototypicality effects from repeated exposure to attractive Western faces. 

Differences in Attractive Faces between Blacks and White People

Studies have also demonstrated that people’s preferences for attractive facial traits differ between countries. In particular, the data showed that Blacks and Whites have similar standards for facial attractiveness. However, they hold different standards for attractive body appearance (Cunningham et al., 1995).

As previously stated, both White and Black American men found many of the same female facial features appealing (see above), and it appears that racial facial characteristics such as lip size and nostril breadth had little impact on their assessment of attractiveness. In spite of these commonalities, Black men found Black women more appealing than White men. There was a clear predilection for the same race, which was most likely owing to imprinting and the simple exposure effect, which shaped their archetypal beauty.

How Asians and Hispanics Perceive Attractive Faces

Asians’ perceptions of attractive faces are also influenced by cultural factors. Asians view faces with strong cheekbones, broad chins, wide smiles, and expressive characteristics like high-set eyebrows as less appealing due to the prototypically round Asian face. They did, however, perceive women with lower cheekbones and wider cheeks more favorably (when compared to Whites).

However, familiarity and prototypicality are not the only factors that contribute to appeal. Asians and Hispanics alike frequently preferred the attractiveness of faces from other ethnic groups to those of their own. Across studies, Asians perceived female faces that appeared slightly less sexually mature and less expressive (relative to the facial ideal in America) as more attractive. (Cunningham et al., 1995).

The Mere Exposure Effect of Attractive Faces

In general, mere exposure effects have a big influence on facial attractiveness preferences. A recent study from 2014 found that the attractiveness of Black South African and White Scottish faces was perceived as similarly attractive by Black South Africans and White Scottish people. However, both Black South Africans and White Scots felt that Scottish faces were more appealing than African faces in terms of attractiveness (Coetzee, Greeff, Stephen, & Perrett, 2014).

The mere exposure effect could contribute to these differences because people in both cultural groups were well familiar with the facial types of White Europeans, while White Scottish were less familiar with the facial types of Black Africans.

The data also revealed that when judging the attractiveness of African female faces, Black South Africans rely heavily on color cues, whereas White Scottish rely heavily on shape cues (Coetzee, Greeff, Stephen, & Perrett, 2014).

So, there is evidence that the faces that people recognize as being close to their culturally prototypical ones are perceived as attractive to them. They also have preferences for faces resembling themselves. Because of these cultural predilections, people tend to concur in their opinion of what is attractive in the faces of people of their own race and ethnicity when they perceive the faces of people of different races and ethnicities.

It is important to note in this regards that what is beautiful is culturally good.

Among the Other Topics of Interest in this Regard Are:

Perceptive Qualities of an Attractive Appearance

People across cultures may perceive different qualities of physical appearance as attractive for mating.

Visual and auditory perceptions as well as tactile, kinesthetic, and olfactory senses may have different impacts on physical attraction.