Monthly Archives: June 2022

The Challenges of Love Marriages for African Men and Women

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In the second half of the 20th century, social and economic modernization transformed traditional African marriages. Urbanization and social mobility were key contributors. Many young men and women moved to the cities. The new labor market and many new urban jobs superseded the importance of traditional rural labor and established family roles. Education significantly influenced this social and cultural shift. For many people, these societal dynamics were destroying a tribal, kinship-based communal framework of living.

The Evolution of African Marriages in the Second Half of the 20th Century

The transformations in many African societies, especially in urban areas, have changed how people view gender, marriage, and families. They modified mate-selecting and marriage practices. Families’ power to influence and manage their children’s marriages and relationships deteriorated.

The evolution of African marriage was difficult. Western norms of individualism were replacing rural stereotypes and mores. Men and women in African cities frequently struggled between collectivism and individualism. They could feel bad if they rejected family, but they’d be frustrated if they let their family members impose the old conventions on their lives.

Once again, geographical and cultural, rural and urban differences in these changes in relationships and marriages varied across the huge cultural diversity of the African continent.

The Changing Value of Individual Choice in Marriages

For instance, in many parts of West Africa, individual choice in mate choice has become socially acceptable only lately. This new opportunity became more affordable first among wealthy and educated men and women in metropolitan areas. Increasingly, they relied on their romantic love feelings in the selection of a spouse (Little & Price, 1973).

According to studies, African men and women across many countries also gradually came to prefer deciding who to marry based on their love feelings (Mair 1969; Little 1979; Smith, 2001; van der Vliet 1991). Romantic love became a criterion for mate selection.

Its significance and prevalence also increased in marital relationships. Companionship love became more common for some African couples. Here is an excellent illustration of modern African love:

“Chinyere Nwankwo met her husband Ike in the town of Owerri in southeastern Nigeria, where she attended a teacher’s college after completing secondary school in her village community. Ike was eight years her senior and a building contractor successful enough to own a used car, a prized symbol of wealth and success. On their first date he took her to the disco at the Concorde Hotel, at that time the fanciest in town. In addition to being educated, Chinyere was a beautiful young woman and consequently had many suitors. Her courtship with Ike lasted almost two years. During that time they often dined out and went dancing together. Among the more memorable events of their courtship were a weekend outing to the Nike Lake resort near Enugu and a trip to Lagos during which they attended a performance by Fela Ransome-Kuti, a famous Nigerian musician. During their courtship, each bought the other birthday cards, and for Ike’s birthday, Chinyere baked a cake. They went to many social events together and acknowledged to their peers that they were a couple. Not long into their courtship, Chinyere and Ike began sleeping together. Prior to approaching Chinyere’s people and his own family about their getting married, Ike proposed to Chinyere. They agreed together to get married and then began the process of including their families.”

(Smith, 2001, p.134)

Ike and Chinyere both said that they decided to marry because they had fallen in love.

Differences Between “Love for Marriage” and “Love in Marriage”

The two different tendencies are still present in African family relations. One is the changing cultural attitudes toward the value of individual choice and love in courtship. “Love for marriage” is more acceptable now than before. Another is the conservative attitude toward the value of companionate love between wife and husband, while the extended family is still of high value. Spousal “love in marriage” faced difficulties because it contradicted the high priority of “extended family love.”

Modern ways of African courtship tend to prioritize human relationships, interpersonal intimacy, and gestures of love. It gradually adopts a gender-neutral gender dynamic.

Nonetheless, the daily life of marriage and relationships between spouses remain intertwined with the larger family and community. Existing extended familial relationships and obligations are highly valued. The fertility of a wife and husband was very important, as well as their kinship functions. The patriarchal structure was still frequently reinforced in modern African marriages.

Thus, men and women in their social and personal interactions within families use both modern and traditional value systems to negotiate their relationships and achieve their goals (Smith, 2001; van der Vliet 1991). Mate selection, marriage, and family structures are evolving in modern ways. However, those changes and gender relations are still very sensitive to the values of fertility and parenthood. Even in current African cultures, collectivistic values and corporate kinship ties are still essential for the lives of new couples.

African Cultural Evolution of Marriage

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The traditions and patterns of traditional African marriages and gender relationships varied substantially across the continent due to the cultural diversity of societies and tribes. Premarital love and sexual plays were allowed for youngsters in many indigenous cultures. However, when it came to marriage, both boys and girls relied on their parents.

Their parents usually had a big say in who, when, and how their boys and girls married because it was their duty to pay the dowry, also known as the bride price. In marriage and family matters, status, resources, and inheritance were among the most important factors.

Parents rarely forced their boys or girls to marry someone they did not like. Nonetheless, both boys and girls frequently appreciated the assistance of parents and relatives in finding a suitable match for them. Yet, love was not a central point of traditional African marriages.

The Traditional Routine of African Marriage

The traditional gender roles of men and women in marriages were stereotypical and rigid. A man or woman knew the cultural expectations of him or her and what duties they were supposed to fulfill.

Every woman was expected to marry, be a good wife, a good cook, a good housekeeper in a household, and bear children. She is expected to be physically strong and be eager to put in long hours for the household’s economic well-being. Her usefulness in housework and childrearing was more important than her physical appearance and personality (Murstein, 1974).

In the system of extended families in many African societies, the role of the husband was often smaller than in nuclear families. He fulfilled his sexual duties and the father’s duty to produce offspring.

His role in the family’s maintenance and relations was smaller. In extended African households, the husband was not much needed for the wife’s and children’s survival. Any member of the family could fulfil the duties of taking care of the pregnant woman or raising children (de Munck et al., 2016; Murstein, 1974).

Spousal Relationships in an African Family

Many African communities were tribal in nature, with extended families that might be patriarchal or non-patriarchal. Gender inequality was quite widespread in African societies, with the superior status of a man and the subordinate role of a woman. However, in some societies, men and women’s relationships were relatively equal or otherwise culturally specific.

Marriage and family were about kinship and household ties rather than spouse relationships. So, affection and intimacy were not priorities. Cultural norms often expected the submissive dispositions and behavior of a wife to a husband’s superiority. However, in some family cases, the spousal relationships were more equal than the cultural norms suggested. A wife was frequently expected to work hard at farming or trading in addition to her cooking and housekeeping duties.

Divorce was relatively easy in many African societies. In the case of family violence, abuse, or overly oppressive behavior by a husband, a wife could leave him. This way, the wife’s family status and rights were protected. And the husband was restrained in his actions. In the case of a divorce, he risked losing the bride price. In these kinds of family situations, the focus was once again on the set roles of marriage rather than on the quality of the relationships between people.

Cultural Transformations of Marital Relationships in the Mid-20th Century in Africa

Many changes occurred in Africa during the second half of the 20th century, rapidly transforming traditional marital relationships. Despite regional and cultural variances, there are some new trends in relationships and marriages.

The increasing urbanization of social life and social mobility were among the major factors. A diverse range of urban jobs replaced the village’s narrow and fixed occupational roles. Transformations in African social organization broke down a collective, kinship-oriented social system.

Education was the other influential factor in this social transformation and cultural evolution. Individualism and achievement-oriented Western norms were gradually supplanting rural stereotypes and mores.

All these social processes have altered the cultural understanding of gender relations, marriages, and families. They changed the criteria and processes of mate selection and marital relations. Families’ ability to influence and control their children’s marital choices and relationships was significantly weakened.

It was especially true in urban areas. African city dwellers were caught between collectivism and individualism as cultural ideologies. They might feel guilty if they rejected their family relatives, but they would be frustrated if they let them dictate the norms.

That was a difficult cultural evolution in African marriage transformation.

Love in Marital Relationships in Africa in the 20th Century

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Africa is one of the most culturally diverse regions in the world. For centuries, people from many different cultures have lived side by side in close proximity, still maintaining their cultural values, beliefs, norms, and practices. The differences occur not only between countries but also within countries. Many African societies have a tribal social organization with extended families. However, other societies differ in this regard.

Anthropological materials have shown that people have different ideas and beliefs about love and marital relationships (Karandashev, 2017, 2019). So, it is difficult to generalize this knowledge to the entire African continent.

Let us consider some typical cases of how love is related to marital relations. This can be revealing for readers from other parts of the world.

Could African Boys and Girls Love and Marry for Love?

The young man and woman could meet and initiate the interaction and relationships that could lead to marriage. Prospective brides and grooms met at neighbors’ homes, in the marketplace, or at religious festivals. They were free to express their interest in and liking for each other. They loved each other at a distance and could interact.

Premarital sexual intercourse of youngsters was openly permissible or tolerated in some African societies but not in others. Sex plays were acceptable as long as the vagina was not penetrated. For many Africans, the physical act of sex itself was not associated with feelings of guilt. However, due to its symbolic and magical consequences, sex involved a set of rituals.

The love attraction between boys and girls might be reciprocated or not. In the case of non-reciprocal feelings, they had their own culturally specific defensive mechanisms. In many African cultural beliefs, external outside forces wield far more power than internal individual efforts. So, if a boy or girl loved someone but their feelings were not reciprocated, they did not question their own shortcomings. They were more willing to seek the help of a witch or wizard to cast a spell or provide them with a magical potion that could attract the one they desired (Murstein, 1974).

However, their parents usually played a major role in deciding whom to marry because the dowry, or the payment of the bride price, was their responsibility. Economic considerations and inheritance were among the significant factors in marital and family matters. The groom and bride might have been betrothed as children.

Love was not a focal point of traditional African marriages for a long time. However, boys and girls were usually not forced to marry someone they disliked. Nonetheless, both boys and girls frequently welcomed the help of parents and relatives in finding a match for them.

Cultural Expectations for an African Wife

In traditional African marriages, every woman was supposed to marry, be a wife in a household, and bear children. So, according to cultural traditions, African girls were thinking about their future marriages and families as something due to be fulfilled.

In some African societies and tribes, the ideal bride should be a virgin. However, many other societies were not concerned about this. So, the attitudes towards premarital sexual relationships varied across African societies and tribes.

A boy and his parents, in selecting a girl for marriage, placed less emphasis on her beauty. Tribal life was based primarily on physical strength. So, the expectations were that the prospective wife must be strong, be an excellent cook, and be eager to work hard for the household’s economic prosperity. These qualities were more important than appearance. The emphasis was more on utility than on appearance or personality. She was expected to be submissive and respectful to her husband (Murstein, 1974).

Cultural Expectations for an African Husband

There was little information available about expectations for the ideal husband. Perhaps women were less able to express their preferences for the groom. Perhaps it was less important for their patriarchal family life.

Social organization in many African societies was tribal and based on extended families, which could be patriarchal or not. The husband’s role was much smaller than in nuclear families. He was necessary for a wife to conceive a child. He was necessary for the wife’s sexual pleasure. However, in extended African families, the husband was not necessary for the wife’s and children’s subsistence. It was not necessary to care for the pregnant woman or to raise children. Any member of the family could fill these roles (Murstein, 1974).

The relationship structures of African extended families were typically gender segregated. Men and women constituted different circles of relationships. In such an extended marriage, romantic or companionate love could be an obstacle. Actually, love could ruin the “wise” marriage plans of senior family members (de Munck et al., 2016).

According to anthropological studies (de Munck et al., 2016), the extended family organization of societies makes romantic love of lower importance for marriage. So, romantic love was often naturally absent in the cultures of such societies. It was the case in many African societies.

Marriages and Families in Egalitarian African Societies

In some other African societies, however, marital relationships are different and welcoming to romantic love. The Hadza people of the East African tribal societies of gatherers and hunters in Northern Tanzania represent an example. The culture of these people is not patriarchal; it is egalitarian. They follow the tradition of bilateral descent and do not recognize clans. Their practice of family lineage regards relatives on both the father’s and mother’s sides as equal in terms of property and wealth transfer, as well as emotional ties. The descent is bilateral, and both parents receive an equal inheritance.

This cultural value of equality is conducive to and supportive of love and love matches for marital relationships. The marital relationships of serial monogamy are common. Polygynous relationships occur on rare occasions. Men and women are free to divorce, and divorce is culturally acceptable. Infidelity is usually a major cause of marriage separation (Scelza et al., 2020).

Traditional Polygyny in African Marriages in the 20th Century

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Love, sex, and marriages in Africa are topics of special interest for scholars and the public worldwide. These emotional and relational aspects of African life differ significantly from those of many other cultures around the world (Karandashev, 2017). And we still know relatively little about what is going on in ethnically and culturally diverse African societies, tribes, and communities. How do they live? How do they feel? How do they relate to each other?

The Cultural Diversity of African Societies

Africa is home to a diverse range of different cultures and ethnic groups. People are very diverse in their languages, religions, and cultural traditions. Cultural diversity can be observed between countries of the African continent, within countries, and between and within tribal communities within and across countries.

Anthropological materials have shown that people of different cultures maintain their values, norms, and customs in relationships and emotional lives. Many studies have looked at how people in Cameroon, Kenya, Nigeria, and South Africa think about their relationships, emotions, love, sex, and marriage.

Among the interesting examples are the Fulbe of North Cameroon, the Taita of Kenya, the Igbo people of Nigeria, the Zulu people of South Africa, and the Himba people of northwest Namibia. Because of such great cultural diversity, it is challenging to generalize the typical patterns of relationships and marital practices in Africa.

Here is a brief summary of the findings that anthropological expeditions of the 20th century found in common about marriages among many African cultures and ethnic groups.

The Traditional Polygyny in African Marriages of the 20th Century

Polygyny, or having two or more women, was a traditional marital practice in Africa. It is the distinctive feature of African marriage that sets it apart from most Western societies. The African supporters of polygynous traditions argue that polygyny satisfies a man’s vanity and sexual appetite. At the same time, it gives every woman a husband and reduces illegitimacy.

Polygyny was widespread across many cultures in Africa, but it was optional. It was just the possibility of polygyny. It is worth noting that those who are willing could choose to live in a monogamous marriage (Murstein, 1974).

Polygyny was strongly condemned by Christians for religious reasons. The proponents of women’s rights saw it as a symbol of servitude. But in polygyny, on the other hand, a woman could take lovers if a husband failed to satisfy her sexual needs. Co-wives might have fierce competition between themselves. But such a rivalry was not about sexual jealousy. They worried about their children’s status in the polygynous inheritance order (Murstein, 1974).

Polygyny Was Declining in the Second Part of the 20th Century

In the second half of the 20th century, the cultural norms and quantity of polygynous marriages were on the decline. However, a growing interest and emerging adoration of everything indigenous to Africa counteracted this wane of polygamous marital practices. Therefore, in accordance with this cultural enthusiasm, the Pan-African Cultural Congress of 1969 reaffirmed its support for polygyny (Murstein, 1974).

Nonetheless, polygyny in marital practices continued to decline. They lost their popularity in the second part of the 20th century. This declining tendency was especially visible among the urban population.

Increased urbanization has changed the ways of African life. The mass migration of the African population to the cities made it challenging for men to afford several wives. It was difficult for men, in terms of living expenses and in small urban apartments, to accommodate multiple-wife families.

Other cultural factors also played a role in the decrease of polygyny. These marital practices continued to be devalued by the Christian influence. Western cultural norms gradually modernized some African societies. So, people’s views on gender equality and relationships between men and women were also changing.

Polygynous relationships were incompatible with romantic love ideals. Therefore, many African students in the cities supported the monogamy of marital relationships. However, they only made up a small portion of the population (Murstein, 1974).

Urbanization was not omnipresent. The majority of people living in various rural areas and remote regions across the African continent continued to oppose monogamous ideals and practices. New social tendencies had a different impact on different tribes depending on whether they were matrilineal and how polygyny was viewed in their cultures. These effects were fairly complex. The cultural progress was slow, with gradual changes.

Indigenous Love in Africa in the Mid-20th Century

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The African continent is home to culturally diverse ethnic groups of people. This diversity can be evident in differences between countries, within countries, and from tribe to tribe within and between countries. A variety of cultural norms and practices co-exist in the proximity of territories.

Anthropological materials have revealed a variety of people’s perceptions and ideals about love. Those studies have focused on how Nigerians, Cameroonians, Kenyans, and South Africans understand love. They described different varieties and types of love, including special relationships with sex and marriage.

Sex and Love in Africa

In some African cultures, people believed that sex and sexual desire were natural and powerful drives that men and women should handle with ritual respect. Adults remarked favorably on a child’s nicely sculpted genitalia. People were not anxious, shy, or prudent about touching a child’s genitalia. At a very young age, they might kiss the boy’s or girl’s genitalia as a sign of affection.

For many Africans, the physical act of sexual intercourse itself was not associated with even a little feeling of guilt or remorse. However, the symbolic meaning and magical repercussions of sex were culturally important. Therefore, sexual initiations required a complex sequence of ceremonies and rituals.

In African societies, attitudes toward premarital sexual relationships and intercourse vary greatly across cultural groups. Some openly tolerated this possibility, while others were more restrictive to some extent. Sexual play was acceptable among youngsters. If the vagina was not penetrated during intercourse, sex play was appropriate, even if it went to orgasm (Murstein, 1974).

Were Africans Familiar with Romantic Love?

The ideas and images of romantic love have been present in African cultures in the 20th century for a long time but are strongly associated with sex. Numerous anthropological studies have documented many narratives of how people in African tribes portrayed and explained love in relationships with sex and marriage. Many of these romantic love notions and cultural features were quite different from Western European and American conceptions of romantic love. But they were present in cultural traditions, according to multiple anthropological sources (see, for example, Bell, 1995; Cole & Thomas, eds., 2009; Plotnicov, 1995; Riesman, 1973).

Since the middle of the 20th century, the topics of love, romance, and modern marriage have begun to appear in African literature, popular African periodicals, and other media. Those changes have been going on for decades (Jahoda, 1959; Obiechina, 1973).

In personal narratives, senior Africans shared anecdotes, love stories, and popular ethnic fables, illustrating a long cultural history of passionate love. In African communities, love and sexual attraction were common, but they did not fit well with daily life. Men and women frequently shared their personal experiences, admitting that if they could “follow their hearts,” they would marry someone other than their spouse (Smith, 2001).

For Africans, Romantic Love Is Culturally Specific

Romantic love for people in many African tribal groups has been largely passionate love related to sex and sexual love. The prevalent topic of African love songs and stories is sexual longing. Love for them is the yearning for sex with the loved one.

One of the key romantic features of love for Western conceptions of romantic love is the exclusivity of the beloved and the relationship with him or her. However, African cultural beliefs suggest different notions of love. For example, Audrey Richards, a British social anthropologist who studied the Bemba people of Northern Rhodesia in Africa in the 1930s, shared her interesting ethnographic observations. She once told the group of Bemba an English folk-fable about a young prince who, in pursuit of obtaining the hand of his beloved maiden, did many feats: he fought dragons, climbed glass mountains, and crossed chasms. Once the story was told, the Bemba remained silent, plainly bewildered. Finally, an old chief spoke up and voiced the feelings of all present in the simple question, “Why not take another girl?” The reaction of Bemba people to this romantic story reveals that they didn’t follow the cultural idea of exclusivity in love (Karandashev, 2019, p. 125).

Culturally Specific Features of Romantic Love among Senegalese

Here is another interesting example of this culturally specific feature of romantic love in African cultures. It comes from the survey study conducted in the 1980s on the Wolof-speaking Senegalese sample in West Africa (D’Hondt & Vandewiele, 1983).

Their answers by boys and girls to the question “Do you think that one falls in love only once in one’s lifetime?” about the uniqueness of the experience of love are especially illustrative. About 38% of adolescents agreed with this belief in the uniqueness of love, and 62% disagreed. More girls believed this than boys.

Some commented romantically that “people fall in love only once since there is room for only one love in the heart”. However, many Senegalese boys argued that “there were too many pretty girls to settle on only one for good,” indicating that broken love could be replaced or that feelings could change.

Cultural Transformations of African Societies in the Second Part of the 20th Century

Since the mid-20th century, in many African societies, significant changes and transformations have occurred in politics, cultures, and interpersonal and family relations.

Traditional love and marriage in black African villages coexisted with new love and marital relations in urban, industrialized social settings. Various regional and cultural variations have been present across African countries. Some cultural norms, practices, and customs of gender relations, sex, love, and marital relations were widespread, while others were specific to ethnic and tribal groups.

What Is Attractive About Your Body? Cultural Standards of Physical Beauty Across the World

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Throughout the history of human societies, the images of beauty and physical attractiveness of human faces and bodies have been pervasive in art, sculpture, poetry, and songs in the diversity of their forms. Some of them were erotic and sexually explicit, while others were not.

These days, beautiful faces and bodies are everywhere around us in pop culture, thanks to books, magazines, movies, television, and commercials. Certain cultural standards of physical beauty have been pretty well established in Western societies and have propagated into many other countries.

“What Is Sexy Is Beautiful“

The word “sexy” seems to have taken the place of the “old-fashioned” word “beautiful” in the vocabulary of modernized cultures. On many occasions, people think that looking “sexy” actually means “looking beautiful.” The cultural sublimation of beautiful and attractive to “sexy” is quite evident, especially among the younger generation of men and women. Oh, well…

The ideas of beauty and physical attractiveness have been persistent in art, sculpture, poetry, and songs throughout centuries of human civilizations. In recent times, books, magazines, movies, television, and commercials have flooded us with beautiful images everywhere.

For ethnocentric Westerners and their followers, it may sometimes look like these cultural standards of “what is sexually attractive” are universal and omnipresent. North American and European researchers have extensively studied the optimal proportions of bodily and facial beauty that men and women perceive as sexy and beautiful.

What kind of body is sexually attractive?

Scientists discovered three key body shape parameters that are sexually appealing across cultures. These body qualities are waist-to-hip ratio (WHR), height or sexual dimorphism in stature (SDS), and leg-to-body ratio (LBR). Researchers think that people find some women and men more attractive than others because of how their bodies look. And this perception is natural and cross-culturally universal.

The Waist-To-Hip Ratio and Body Mass Index

The low waist-to-hip ratio of the body is one of the well-known body qualities of female attractiveness. These attributes of the female body seem to be cross-culturally similar. Researchers found evidence that people perceive these body qualities as attractive in the United States, several European countries, the African countries of Guinea Bissau and Cameroon, and in the countries of Southeast Asia and Oceania, such as Indonesia and Papua New Guinea (e.g., Dixson et al., 2007; Dixson, Sagata et al., 2010; Furnham, Tan, & McManus, 1997; Rozmus-Wrzesinska & Pawlowski, 2005; Singh, 1993; Singh, 2004; Singh & Luis, 1995; see, for review, Sorokowski et al., 2012).

However, anthropological studies in subsistence-based hunter-gatherer societies, such as the Hadza tribe from Tanzania in Africa, the Shiwiar people of Ecuador, and the Matsiguenka people of Peru in South America, perceive female bodies with higher body mass and a high waist-to-hip ratio as more sexually attractive (e.g., Cassidy, 1991; Marlowe & Wetsman, 2001; Sugiyama, 2004; Wetsman & Marlowe, 1999; Yu & Shepard, 1998; see, for review, Sorokowski et al., 2012). 

Body Height and Sexual Dimorphism in Stature

As for height or sexual dimorphism in stature, the well-known “male-taller norm” seems culturally ubiquitous in many Western societies. Women tend to prefer men who are somewhat taller than themselves as potential sexual and mating partners. On the other hand, men prefer women who are slightly shorter than themselves. However, in mating preferences, body height is important in relative rather than absolute measures. Men and women prefer partners taller or shorter than themselves. Men and women tend to adjust their preferences for sexual dimorphism in stature based on what their own physical height is.

However, as we can see on the streets of American and European cities, not all men and women follow this Western “male-taller norm.” Some people appear to prefer relationships in which the woman is slightly taller than the man.

In some other societies, the cultural norms also differ from the “male-taller norm.” For example, in the Hadza culture of Tanzania and the Himba people of northern Namibia in Africa, and in the Yali culture of Papua, people have different preferences. Among the Hadza people, the wives are usually taller than the husbands, while among the Himba people, men and women prefer mating partners of the same height as themselves. Among the Yali tribe, people in their perception follow the “male-taller norm.” However, it is far weaker than in Western cultures (Sear & Marlowe, 2009; Sorokowski et al., 2012; another new Sorokowski et al., 2012).

The Leg-To-Body Ratio

As for the leg-to-body ratio, it is commonly known by many Westerners that women and men with long legs look more attractive than those with short legs. Many people perceive a relatively high leg-to-body ratio in women’s and men’s bodies as attractive. Yet, this ratio is not supposed to be extremely high. Both men and women who have legs that are too long or too short are seen as less attractive.

Societies vary in the cultural norms of what leg-to-body ratio is viewed as sexually attractive. According to studies, European, Canadian, and African people tend to perceive bodies with a high leg-to-body ratio as attractive. On the other hand, Latin American people perceive bodies with a low leg-to-body ratio as more attractive. In other societies, the cultural “norms” were variable, different for men and women, and often inconsistent enough for any definite conclusions.

In some countries, expectations of an attractive leg-to-body ratio differ for women and men. On the one hand, women are perceived as more attractive with a relatively high leg-to-body ratio. On the other hand, men with a low leg-to-body ratio are seen as more attractive (e.g., Swami, Einon, & Furnham, 2007).

Takeaway Message

It should be noted that the results of many studies on the body’s sexual attractiveness are inconsistent and sometimes controversial. So, it is hard to believe that there are some universally attractive body characteristics. I believe what is considered “normative” in terms of preferences varies depending on ecological and cultural factors.

Another major drawback of many studies is that researchers investigate the attractiveness of figures and bodies outside of relationships. The findings show what people generally like and what they don’t. They don’t study who they love and who they don’t in the context of relationships. Who the person is makes a difference.

The saying “what is beautiful is good” is right. But it is also right that “what is good is beautiful.” We shall keep in mind that “beauty is only skin-deep.” A good personality often overshadows the body’s appearance.

Of course, a man or woman loves their loved one because he or she is beautiful. But not only for that. The wisdom is that the loved one looks beautiful to them because they love him or her. Our love makes them beautiful.

Physically Attractive Men and Women in Different Cultures

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Many men and women expect to get into mating or sexual relationships with partners who are “physically attractive,” “looking good enough,” or at least “not bad looking.” Many cultures recognize the cultural significance of women’s feminine beauty to men. Nevertheless, the masculine beauty of men is also important for women (Karandashev, 2022).

How Important Is It to Be Physically Attractive in Various Cultures?

Most scientific studies of physical attractiveness have taken place in Western and industrialized Asian countries. People in mainstream North American and European societies, as well as those in Australia and New Zealand, highly value physical attractiveness for relationships between men and women. Cultural norms in these societies have particularly high expectations of female attractiveness.

However, far fewer studies have been conducted in other societies around the world. According to scientific studies from other countries and remote tribal societies, the importance of beauty is not universal, and beauty standards differ across cultures. People in different Asian and African societies, such as Korea in Southeast Asia and Ghana in Africa, place less emphasis on attractive physical appearance. According to cultural anthropology, people in tribal subsistence-based societies also pay less attention to the physical appearance of their mates (Anderson et al., 2008; Wheeler & Kim, 1997; see, for review, Karandashev, 2017; 2022).

Is the Stereotype “What Is Beautiful Is Good” True in Different Cultures?

In many societies, people have the widespread, persistent, and powerful stereotype that “what is beautiful is good” (Dion, Berscheid, & Walster, 1972; Hatfield & Rapson, 2000; Lemay, et al., 2010; Lorenzo, et al., 2010).

Many women and men believe that a partner’s attractive physical appearance reflects other positive characteristics such as kindness, a pleasing disposition, emotional stability, dependable character, maturity, and intelligence (Fugère, Madden, & Cousins, 2019; Yela & Sangrador, 2001).

Yet, according to other studies, this “what is beautiful is good” stereotype is less strong and less general than previous research has concluded (Eagly, Makhijani, et al., 1991).

Besides, this stereotype is culturally specific. Many cultures have such physical attractiveness stereotypes as “what is beautiful is good.” However, this stereotype can vary in its content depending on cultural values, for example, in collectivistic and individualistic societies. It appears that “what is beautiful is culturally good” (see, for review, Anderson, 2019; Anderson, Adams, & Plaut, 2008; Swami & Furnham, 2008; Wheeler & Kim, 1997).

What Is Physically Attractive in Women and in Men?

Researchers have looked into what makes other people’s appearances and bodies physically and sexually appealing. Since the end of the 19th and beginning of the 20th centuries, studies of of what is “physically attractive” have been extensive (for example, Finck, 1887; Courtenay, 1922).

Many authors have published thousands of articles, books, and other publications about what is “physically attractive” in women and men. Many scientists have studied what is beautiful in the physical appearance of faces and bodies, as well as what makes them sexually attractive. This research has been especially prolific in recent decades.

How Similar and Different Is the Perception of Physical Attractiveness in Various Cultures?

Researchers found symmetrical features, certain body proportions, a low ratio of hips to waist, full lips, white teeth, lustrous hair, smooth and clear skin, and an absence of sores as attractive for many people across a variety of countries (e.g., Langlois et al. 2000; Sugiyama, 2005).

Studies have revealed that White, Black, Hispanic, and Asian men and women perceive attractive facial qualities cross-culturally relatively consistently when they evaluate White men and women (see, for review, Cunningham et al., 1995). For example, people judge women’s faces as attractive when they have

“high eyebrows, widely spaced large eyes with dilated pupils, high cheekbones, a small nose, a narrow face with thin cheeks, a large smile, a full lower lip, a small chin, and a fuller hairstyle.”

(Cunningham et al., 1995, p. 275).

These similarities are surprising because people have different racial and ethnic typologies of facial and body traits. So, these findings appear to indicate that men and women across these different cultures perceive the same features of facial and body beauty as similarly attractive. It’s hard to believe that, despite their obvious disparities in appearance, Hispanics, Asians, Blacks, and Whites have the same standards of physical attractiveness.

Are Standards of Physical Attractiveness Cross-Culturally the Same?

Thus, it appears that across many societies, men and women within a culture and between cultures generally agree on who is beautiful and handsome and who is not. Nevertheless, according to other cultural studies, it is apparent that different attributes of physical appearance may look more attractive in some cultures but not others. Researchers have found that different facial and body features are more or less attractive to people in different cultures (Cunningham et al., 1995; Fallon, 1990; Langlois et al., 2000).

For example, big smiles, raised eyebrows, and neonate qualities look attractive across cultures, depending on the local ecology and fashion prevalent in those societies. The expressive qualities of a person and the appearance of sexual maturity vary moderately in their attractiveness in different cultures. The attractiveness of different body weights, hairstyles, and other grooming qualities varies greatly across various societies.

Among the Other Topics of Interest in this Regard Are:

Does Physical Beauty Matter for Sexual Attraction?

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Many people in the world are obsessed with the desire to look beautiful. The ideas of beauty and physical attractiveness have been persistent in art, sculpture, poetry, and songs throughout centuries of human civilization. In recent times, books, magazines, movies, television, and commercials have flooded us with beautiful images everywhere. Does physical beauty matter for sexual attraction?

The Early Imprinting of Beauty in Childhood

Beginning in early childhood, girls and boys learn how important it is to be beautiful. All around us are talking about physical beauty, repeatedly commenting on who is beautiful and who is not. “You are so beautiful!” is the nicest compliment that anyone tries to say to a girl when they don’t know what else to say. Stereotypically, teachers, parents, siblings, and friends join in the chorus. “Darling” youngsters hear aahs and oohs. They receive the adoring attention and admiration of those around them. In contrast to this, those children and teens who are less attractive, disproportionate, and overweight are perceived indifferently and may hear nasty comments or outright rejection.

Cultural Adoration of Beauty

Through the centuries, the fine arts and magnificent poetry have been persistent in their search for the ideals of physical beauty. They explored what is beautiful in human bodies, faces, and costumes. The beauty of human physical appearance has been the realm of artistic and literary exploration.

The aristocracy and affluent people entertained these beautiful ideas. The real lives of many commoners were full of safety and shelter concerns and hard work for subsistence. These people often did not have time to appreciate beauty. Men and women mated with those who were close to them. They married those who were affordable and valuable for family survival. Charm was deceptive. Beauty was fleeting. Industriousness was often more valuable.

Nowadays, the cultural attitudes of praising “beauty” and avoiding “unbeauty” have become cultural commonplace, at least in Western societies. Thus, the desire to be beautiful is imprinted on our minds and cultures. Modern Western societies, being obsessed with the importance of men and especially women being beautiful, transfer these beauty ideas and ideals to other societies around the world. In recent decades, Eastern and other cultures have become more and more influenced by Western ideas of beauty.

Are Men’s Preferences for Sexually Beautiful Women Evolutionary?

Dating advertisements on websites are packed with these stereotypes. Everyone describes themselves as “beautiful” in one or another respect. And everyone expects to find a beautiful partner. Evolutionary scientists try to convince us that men look for “good-looking” women, while women look for “good financial prospects” in men. These researchers presume that men want to conceive more offspring, and therefore, men look for fertile women to accomplish this evolutionary desire. It is also assumed that men somehow know that “good-looking” women are more fertile than others. This is why men prefer beautiful women for mating relationships.

We all know that “good looking” really matters for sexual attractiveness, not only for women but also for men. Several explanations are possible, including biological and cultural evolutionary perspectives (Karandashev, 2022). However, it is not always clear whether men and women look for “not bad-looking” or “beautifully looking” sexual and mating partners. Different people may look at this differently. Some look for only the “beautiful,” while others may look for those who are “good enough” or “not bad at all.”

In Search of Attractive Faces and Bodies

Researchers have also investigated what is sexually attractive in the faces and bodies of others. They strived to find cross-cultural standards of beauty across many societies, such as symmetry, body proportions, and others. They found some cross-cultural similarities, which presumably support an evolutionary explanation of universal qualities of sexual attractiveness.

Through recent decades, a lot of scientists have investigated what is attractive in the physical appearance of faces and bodies and what makes them sexually attractive. There are thousands of articles, books, and other publications on the topic of “physical attractiveness.”

However, a vast majority of this research was conducted in Western and modernized Asian societies. The number of studies in other societies is much smaller. So, it seems doubtful to say anything about the universality of physical beauty.

Scientific evidence from other societies and cultural contexts tells us that the importance of beauty is not universal, and beauty standards are not universal across cultures.

Physical Beauty Is Not Universally Important

An abundance of anthropological findings has demonstrated that “beauty” is a cultural idea rather than an evolutionary device for mating purposes. The importance of physical appearance for sexual attractiveness varies across cultures. And the cultural norms of sexual beauty also differ in different societies (Karandashev, 2019; 2022).

Physical attractiveness seems really important for many people in mainstream North American and European societies, as well as in Australia and New Zealand. In such societies with high values of individualism, independence, and autonomy, personal preferences and choices matter.

Physical attractiveness matters less to people in some Asian and African societies, such as Korea in Southeast Asia and Ghana in Africa. Relational affordance limitations reduce people’s value of physical attractiveness in their daily lives and mating (Anderson et al., 2008; Karandashev, 2017; Wheeler & Kim, 1997).

Physical attractiveness matters less for people in some tribal subsistence-based societies with a risk of safety and food shortages. Men and women (mostly gatherers and hunters) care more about their subsistence survival than about beauty (see, for review, Karandashev, 2022).

Maybe modern people care about beauty when they have nothing else to care about.

Researchers Found More Hormones of Love

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Romantic love has an adaptive function in human evolution. It increases reproductive success in sexual relations between men and women through the hormone of love. The evolution of animal and human bonding results in the evolution of love hormones.

When men and women are in passionate love, many psychophysiological and neuropsychological processes occur in their brains and bodies. They affect how their minds and behaviors function. In recent decades, researchers have revealed the important role that hormones plays in passionate love. They conducted studies on neuroimaging, biochemistry, and hormones (Hatfield & Rapson, 2009; Gangestad & Grebe, 2017; Sorokowski et al., 2019).

Hormones Play a Role in Romantic Love

These changes are especially pronounced when they are falling in love. Being close to a beloved partner elicits strong romantic feelings and produces corresponding hormonal changes. The hormones cortisol, testosterone, oxytocin, prolactin, and estradiol engage in emotional and behavioral reactions associated with love feelings.

For example, men and women who are in romantic love have higher cortisol. The excited state of passionate arousal they experience when they fall in love causes the increased cortisol level. Other hormonal changes also facilitate pair bonding and commitment.

Some discoveries about the effects of various hormones on romantic love are consistent and well-known. Other findings are sometimes contradictory and need further research. A recent study indicated one more hormonal secret of love that is worthy of our attention (Sorokowski et al., 2019).

Does Love Increase a Woman’s Fertility?

Researchers from the University of Wrocław, Poland, conducted the study to show that love produces adaptive hormonal changes in the female body. These changes increase a woman’s fertility when she is in love (Sorokowski et al., 2019).

In their study, researchers measured the levels of several hormones in women in the early follicular phase of the menstrual cycle. They compared the blood serum levels of estradiol, cortisol, free testosterone, prolactin, luteinizing hormone, and follicle-stimulating hormone of those women who were at the beginning of passionate romantic relationships with those who were not in love.

Hormones of Love Involved in Experience of Emotion

Researchers reported that women in love have higher levels of gonadotropins and lower free testosterone levels compared to those who are not in love. At the same time, women in love have the same levels of cortisol, prolactin, and estradiol. Researchers also revealed that the estradiol-to-testosterone ratio is higher in women in love in comparison with women who are not in love. Researchers suggest possible explanations for these results based on their associations with other confounding factors they identified in their study. They admit that some of the results aren’t completely convincing and that more research needs to be done.

Here Is One More Hormone of Love

Nevertheless, this study seems about to crack one more hormonal secret of romantic love. It turned out that the experience of falling in love plays an adaptive function. It increases the likelihood that the romantic couple will conceive offspring in their sexual relations. This discovery explains why men and women across the world tend to experience not only sexual attraction but also love. Heterosexual love is an important adaptive psychological mechanism that increases women’s physiological ability to conceive a child.

The New Marital Aspiration of Brazilian Companionate Love

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Traditional gender roles in marriage, familism, and respectful relationships are the cultural values that Brazilian couples strive to live by in cooperation and trust. In many families, husband and wife coexist as partners bound together by their family responsibilities, fulfillment of marital duties, complementarity of gender roles, and reciprocal support. Yet, Brazilian companionate love is becoming the new aspiration of young men and women.

Obligations, duties, and devotion of obrigaço and consideration, respect, and sympathy of consideraço are the cultural norms of Brazilian marriages, which are often maintained in families. Husbands provide and maintain the home, while wives handle housekeeping and raise children. Their household work and chores reflect their implicit feelings of companionate love, like in the Brazilian proverb,

“Love and faith you see in actions.”

Brazilian proverb

The ways of marital and family life, however, may differ between young and older people and between couples living in rural and remote regions of Brazil, small towns, big cities, and metropolitan areas. The current views of men and women on their values and priorities in gender and family relationships reflect the rapid changes they have witnessed throughout their lives. Modern economic relationships influence this transformation. Couples and nuclear families, rather than extended families, are becoming the basic relationship units.

Despite these good cultural traditions of cooperative and companionate love in families, many couples encounter expected and unexpected challenges that they need to overcome. Some of them are expected due to customary Brazilian practices and cultural stereotypes, such as the rigid gender roles of “machismo” and “marianismo”. Other challenges are brought into their lives by the new opportunities of modern society (Karandashev, 2017).

Traditional Gender Roles as Barriers in Courtships and Marriages of Young Brazilians

A passionate Brazilian character may compete with a strict sexual morality code and old-fashioned cultural stereotypes. Marriages among young girls are still common, particularly in rural areas and remote regions of Brazil. Women’s chastity is a family’s honor of high cultural importance. Men marry when they have enough money to provide and furnish a home for a family. They have more freedom to express themselves sexually. They are generally forgiven for sexual indiscretions before marriage.

When it comes to marrying and starting a family, men and women often still follow their traditional gender roles. Gender stereotypes are still prevalent. Men in “macho” roles still have more relationship freedom than women. It is permissible for them to pursue their physical, sexual, and emotional desires. However, many women must uphold their “marianismo” roles and values. When it comes to courtship and relationships with men, they are more reserved and traditional.

Men and women have different economic, personal, and sexual interests. Their stereotypical gender roles are often stamped by their “machismo” and “marianistmo” culturally specific beliefs. So, they may have different expectations in their marriages. However, they rarely talk openly about their relationships and these emotional issues. Therefore, they may frequently encounter disappointment and misunderstand each other. Breakups of marriages occur quite often. It turns out to be easier to end less official, not registered, relationships. Consensual unions are still common among the lower socioeconomic classes in Brazil. Even without marriage licenses and certificates, men and women can live together as husbands and wives.

Surprising Gender Differences in Understanding Husband-Wife Relationships in Brazilian Companionate Love

The personal identities of women are often embedded in their families and social networks. They typically sustain the emotional bonds that hold networks and families together. To meet this need for close connections, they may try to build the same kinds of relationships with their husband.

However, many men think about relationships from different perspectives. They believe that financially supporting a wife is sufficient proof of a man’s love. This really fulfills their obrigaço as their husband’s obligations. They rarely think about developing the emotional intimacies of relationships with their wives.

Consideraço, in the meaning of consideration, can be interpreted differently by men and women in different senses. Many women desire emotional intimacy as a consideration in love. For example, women say that discussing problems together is a sign of affection, companionship, and consideraço. On the other hand, men believe that sparing their wives’ worries about personal problems is considerate. Therefore, they do not understand their wives’ discontent.

Marital Infidelity and Abuse in Relationships

Another problem that many Brazilian wives face is the infidelity of their husbands. Driven by their “macho” stereotypes and passion, men are generally forgiven for their sexual infidelity not only before but also after marriage. Many Brazilian men, as “machos”, may continue to womanize and entertain their extramarital affairs. Sometimes, a young married man may even pretend and brag in front of his male “macho” peers that he has an extramarital affair with another woman (even if he doesn’t) because it is an important cultural stereotype of a macho man.

Married men may even maintain long-term residential relationships with other women at the same time. Although officially married, Brazilian men can still be in unofficial polygamous relationships with other women, being visited by husbands and fathers. This family arrangement, in some regards, resembles the Nicaraguan “absentee patriarchy,” which I described elsewhere.

Secret infidelity relationships, away from prying eyes, can be acceptable for many women. The infidelity that is publicly known by neighbors and relatives is upsetting to them.

Sometimes, women may have to tolerate their husbands’ abuse and violence. They would rather be submissive and obedient; they may even prefer the adversity of being beaten to the risk of being abandoned (Karandashev, 2017).