How Different Are the Irish and Scandinavian Styles of Interpersonal Interactions?

Irish and Scandinavian cultures have something in common between them, as well as with other Western cultures. Yet, people differ in their styles of interpersonal interaction and emotionality.

Western and Eastern Societies

Scholars who study cultures and compare them have looked at Western and Eastern societies and found that they are very different. From a philosophical, social, and psychological point of view, it was easy to understand and explain this kind of cultural difference

Everything looked simple: Europe and North America are “western” cultures, while Japan, China, and India are “eastern.” The East is more collectivistic than the West. All other nations have been beyond the scope of this distinction.

Modern researchers have looked more closely at the cultural differences between societies around the world, going beyond the traditional East-West division. They have made a more diverse cultural classification of world societies and looked at many different cultural factors and dimensions (Karandashev, 2021a).

Many modern researchers believe that Eastern and Western societies are more diverse than previously thought. Categorizing the world into East and West is simplistic and fails to convey how diverse the various nations are, even within these two cultural regions.

Cultural Diversity of Interpersonal Interaction and Emotional Styles in the West

Cross-cultural research has revealed that people in different “Western” and “Eastern” cultures have different styles of interpersonal interaction. They experience and express their emotions in different ways (Karandashev, 2021a).

During the last several decades, researchers have found that the “Western” cultures of interpersonal relationships and emotional expressions differ in such countries as Germany, France, the United States of America, Ireland, and the Scandinavian countries of Sweden, Norway, and Finland.

Irish Style of Interpersonal Interactions and Emotions

Many people in Irish culture like the company of peers and companionate relationships. They enjoy being together and chatting with their Irish companions and friends.

Irish folks are notoriously emotional in their conversations. They are extraverted, gregarious, and cheerful in social interactions. Compared to them, people in England, Iceland, and Scandinavia are more reticent and private in their lives and feelings.

In Irish culture, public expressions of emotion are commonplace. The Irish people are emotional and openly show how they feel. People from Ireland have lively voices and are highly expressive emotionally. Their narrative expressions are frequently poetic and full of humorous stories. Humor and laughter are valued as ways to express one’s emotions. They often use humor to lighten the atmosphere of a company (Greeley, 1979, 1981; McGoldrick, 1996).

The interpersonal attitudes of Irish people are often kind and welcoming. They go to considerable lengths to maintain good manners and avoid provoking disagreement. Irish people are known to communicate in an indirect manner. They could also refrain from immediately expressing their irritation or disagreement. Instead, they will employ covert, subdued cues.

Irish people are generally warm and friendly, yet they are a bit shy when it comes to physical contact and interaction with others. Their gestures are expressive but not excessive while they are talking. When the Irish point to something they’re talking about, they usually nod their heads. Eye contact is culturally expected for many Irish during conversation and signals engagement and trust. However, the eye contact is not continuous to avoid a feeling of psychological awkwardness.

The Nordic Styles of Interpersonal Interaction and Emotion

People from the Nordic and Scandinavian cultures of Denmark, Sweden, Norway, and Finland are typically reserved. These twin implicit ethics embody their cultural values: “Keep to yourself” and “Don’t think you’re so special” (Erickson, 2005).

They tend to be reserved in their expression of emotions and keep their feelings to themselves. In this respect, they are significantly different from other European cultures, like Ireland, Italy, and Latinos (Karandashev, 2021a; McCrae & Terracciano, 2006).

Scandinavian and Nordic societies are low-contact cultures. People limit their interpersonal contacts and keep their communication distanced. Outside of their close relationships, Nordic people tend to avoid meddling questions and deep and elaborate conversations. In social interaction, they may appear passive.

In their interpersonal relationships, they are less emotionally expressive. Scandinavian cultural norms encourage moderation in the expression of emotions and emotional control(Midelfort & Midelfort, 1982; Pennebaker et al., 1996; Rodnick, 1955). People in Nordic societies have a tendency to avoid conflict, restrain aggression, and prefer practical solutions to disagreement.

Nordic people are less lively in their gestures, postures, and body movements. They laugh and smile less frequently than people from the Mediterranean and Latin American societies.

Scandinavian cultures highly value personal autonomy and privacy. People from the Nordic countries are more introverted, less vocal, and less intrusive than those from the Mediterranean and Latin American countries. They consider shyness to be a good emotional quality. They believe that shy people are introspective, sensitive, and non-obtrusive (Daun, 1995; Erickson, 2005).

Finish Expressive Style

Finish culture presents a typical example of the expressive style of Scandinavian countries. Finns talk to each other in silence and in monologues that move slowly and have long pauses. They listen to each other silently, yet they are still attentive during conversations. Finns don’t like to be interrupted by the verbal comments of others. They don’t need superficial social feedback (Nishimura, Nevgi, & Tella, 2008; Tella, 2005).

Although the Irish and Scandinavian styles of interpersonal interaction differ, they also differ from the German, French, and American ways of communication. Other western European countries also have their own culturally different expressive styles (Karandashev, 2021a).

What Makes American, French, and German Communication Styles Unique?

People from the Western cultures of the United States, France, and Germany have many common values, yet they are different in their communication styles, interpersonal interaction, and emotionality.

Western and Eastern Cultures

Scholars who study cultures and compare them have spent a long time looking at Western and Eastern societies as two very different types of cultures. This kind of cultural difference was easy to understand and explain in terms of philosophical, social, and psychological aspects of culture. These differences really make sense.

The concepts of Western and Eastern cultures are largely exemplified by European and North American countries as “western”, and Japan, China, and India as examples of Eastern cultures. The Western cultures are mostly defined as individualistic, while the Eastern cultures are characterized as collectivistic. All other countries presumably belong to one of these global cultural groups.

Diversity of Western and Eastern Cultures

In recent years, researchers have looked more closely at the cultural differences between societies around the world, going beyond the traditional East-West divide. Researchers have been able to make a more diverse cultural classification of world societies because they looked at many different cultural factors and dimensions (Karandashev, 2021a).

Studies have shown that Eastern and Western societies are more diverse than they were originally deemed. Researchers have found that dividing the world into East and West is too simple and doesn’t show how different the countries are.

Cross-cultural research has revealed a diversity in how people in different “Western” and “Eastern” cultures experience and express their emotions (Karandashev, 2021a).

Western Cultural Diversity of Interpersonal Communication and Emotional Styles

Many cultural and cross-cultural studies have found that the “Western” cultures of interpersonal communication and emotionality are quite different in such countries as Canada, the United States of America, France, Germany, Ireland, and the Scandinavian countries of Denmark, Sweden, Norway, and Finland.

The North American Culture of Communication in the United States

Several Western European cultures are very different from North American cultures in the United States. Even though they are all presumably Western cultures, their communication styles differ in several ways.

People in North America, as a low-contact culture, tend to keep a spatial distance, maintain slightly indirect body orientations, and avoid frequent touching during interpersonal conversation. In this regard, they are significantly different from people in high-contact cultures,

Americans are known around the world for being loud, talkative, direct, and assertive. When interacting, they prefer to maintain social distance. Nevertheless, they are chatty, polite, and expressive both verbally and nonverbally.

North Americans are self-expressive. Social standards encourage emotional openness. Unrestrained emotional self-expression is believed to improve understanding and exhibit empathy in interaction. People feel self-expression is good and improves relationships. This explains why Americans are so outspoken and expressive.

Many Americans appreciate happy things and struggle with unpleasant emotions. They’re friendly. They strive to be positive and discourage their communicators from experiencing and expressing negative emotions. Their favorite sayings are “Take it easy” and “It’ll be okay.”

Americans prefer “small talk” to meaningful dialogue or serious conversation. They enjoy jokes and humor when talking with each other. They strive to ease tensions in interactions and challenging situations. Americans tend to be overly expressive in both positive and negative emotions. They like to brag and appreciate the feeling of pride in many things.

The French Culture of Communication

French people express their emotions openly and intensely. They may express their displeasure and anger, as well as their affection and love, in public at times. They enjoy vigorously defending their points of view in conversations.

The French have an emotional culture that tends to act on impulse. The French do things in a very emotional way. They can be very happy and interesting. Still, the French get angry sometimes. The French communication style can be described as straightforward, indirect, and eloquent. Every meeting starts with a general conversation. The French people don’t worry about phony friendliness and insincere sociability. They enjoy small talks and dialogues.

The German Culture of Communication

Germans frequently behave and communicate more conventionally. They are direct, serious, and grounded. They favor adopting traditional attire, manners, and fashion.

The Germans are serious in their verbal expressions. Germans do not like small talk and idle conversations. They are generally introverted and reserved. They don’t like talking to strangers or people at social gatherings. Germans are usually polite and don’t raise their voices when they talk.

Germans are typically straightforward and direct in their verbal expression. They usually include detailed information and explanations in their messages. They prefer to present their messages with well-organized and logical information supported by facts, examples, and figures. They like to summarize all of the major points at the end of their communication messages.

6 Features of the Irish Expressive Style of Communication

Western European cultures are similar to each other in their “Western” cultural features (Karandashev, 2021a). Nevertheless, they are diverse within western Europe.

Despite the fact that they are all allegedly Western cultures, their expressive styles vary in a number of ways. Each of Western Europe’s neighboring countries has its own culturally distinct expressive style in interpersonal communication. Their cultures are also pretty different from those of other western European societies.

In other articles, I described American, French, German, and Scandinavian styles of communication (Karandashev, 2021a). Here is the Irish one.

Irish Appreciation of Companionship

The traditional Irish ways of life have embraced their favor and enthusiasm for companionship. They tend to reside in close proximity to their fellow citizens. They like social gatherings with peers and chatting.

Irish emigrants still prefer to congregate in neighborhoods that are predominantly Irish. Their cultural sameness apparently attracts them to flock and live nearby with others of their nationality.

It is commonly known that Irish people are generally quite emotional. They are generally outgoing, gregarious, and openly expressive. In this regard, they differ from the people of England, Iceland, and Scandinavian neighboring countries, who are more reserved and private in their lives and emotions.

How Emotional Are the Irish People?

Public displays of emotions are common in Irish culture. On the other hand, the Irish are not as good at expressing their emotions as they are at feeling them. There is no means that can be used to assess the emotions that an Irish person feels. And the more feelings a person experiences, the more difficult it is for them to convey those feelings.

People of Ireland and Irish descent are animated speakers and very emotionally expressive. Their story-telling is often quite poetic in expression. It is common for them to tell funny stories. Their expressions of suffering are also culturally acceptable (Greeley, 1979, 1981; McGoldrick, 1996).

The Irish Sense of Humor

In Irish cultural norms, humor and laughter are valued as ways to communicate one’s emotions.

Humor is used in Irish communication in a variety of ways. In general, humor is utilized to make people laugh, feel good, and, overall, inspire a warm spirit in conversation. People can utilize humor as a way to express acceptance and attachment to those involved in the conversation. The Irish people are witty and sometimes embellish their stories with jokes and anecdotes.

The Irish people also use humor to lighten the atmosphere when someone violates societal rules of behavior. They commonly like clever humor, as well as sarcasm and “slagging,” which can include insults and teasing. This type of humor is well-intentioned and is not meant to offend.

Humor might also be employed as a defense mechanism and a coping strategy in a self-deprecating or humorous manner.

Irish Tendency to Indirect Communication

Irish people tend to be modest and don’t like exaggerating or bragging about themselves. In Irish culture, being too loud and making a lot of noise is seen as rude and off-putting.

Irish people tend to be indirect in their interpersonal communication.

For example, when you offer an Irish fellow to buy a drink, they may answer “ah, no,” even though they may want to accept your offer. So, it is wise to repeat your offer a couple of times before they l accept it.

The Irish people are generally warm and friendly in their interpersonal dispositions. They try to avoid conflict and go to great lengths to remain polite throughout the conversation. They may also avoid expressing their displeasure or disagreement directly. Instead, they will use subtle and concealed cues. For instance, it can be changing the subject or employing humor.

Cultural Peculiarities of Irish Voices

They generally speak with soft tones and have the ingressive sound of voices. For example, during conversations, some Irish people may inhale or inject short breaths while saying “yes” to express agreement. It sounds like a gasp followed by the word “yes.” The linguistic mannerism of making this noise is culturally normal.

Nonverbal Irish Communication

When speaking, people in Irish culture generally maintain an arm’s length distance from others. They do not push each other in community spaces like public transportation and queues.

Although Irish people generally exhibit their warm and friendly disposition towards others in their nonverbal behavior, they are somewhat reserved in physical contact with others. The Irish people are emotionally positive and expressive. Nevertheless, excessive hand gestures are not common for them. Still, they do not keep their hands entirely still during conversation. It is unusual for an Irish person to point in the direction of what they are talking about. They may nod or jerk their head or chin in that direction.

The Irish people usually restrain themselves from displaying their physical affections in public. In physical contact, men seem to be less comfortable than women. They are less inclined to touch each other. Nevertheless, men frequently give each other friendly slaps or kind pats on the back and make other gestures. For many Irish people, consistent eye contact is seen as a sign of involvement and trust in conversation. Therefore, it is culturally normative to maintain frequent eye contact. However, it should not be constant to avoid an awkward feeling of discomfort.

6 Distinctive Features of the German Style of Communication

Western European societies have some similarities in cultural characteristics. This is why they belong to so-called Western cultures. However, they differ from the North American Western culture of the United States. For example, their cultural values of individualism are fairly different (Karandashev, 2021a). The communication styles of interpersonal relationships also vary among Western societies.

In another article, I described and summarized some features of the American communication style. In particular, Americans are direct in their messages, assertive, talkative, verbally and nonverbally expressive. As individualists, they prefer to keep social distance in interpersonal relations but are chatty, friendly, and polite.

In another article, I described the 9 main features of the French style of interpersonal communication in comparison with American and German communication styles. People of different western European cultures also differ from each other in the way they interact and communicate in their relationships.

The neighboring countries of western Europe develop their own cultures of communication, interpersonal relationships, and expressive styles (Karandashev, 2021a).

Let us talk about the German expressive style of communication.

Germans Are Conformists in Communication

Germans tend to be more conformist in their behavior and communication compared, for example, with North American and French people. The Germans are frank, serious, and realistic. They prefer a conservative approach in dress, fashion, and manners.

Germans Are Persistent and Serious in their Communication

The Germans are persistent and stubborn in pursuing their goals. They are serious in their verbal expressions. In this regard, they are drastically different from Americans in their expressive style. The Germans dislike small talk and social chit-chat. They are reserved and not open to casual acquaintances or strangers. They do not “make conversation” at social gatherings. Well-mannered Germans do not raise their voices in conversation (Hall and Hall, 1990).

Germans Are Straight, Direct, Detailed, and Well-Organized in their Messages

Germans, in their verbal expressions, are typically straightforward in what they are saying. They are direct and detailed in their messages.

Germans have a low-context culture of communication in the same way as North Americans and some other western European cultures. In this regard, they are quite different from high-context cultures, such as southern and eastern Europeans, Arabs, and Latin Americans.

The people of the German low-context culture usually provide in their messages much more information and explanations than people in high-context cultures. They like to present information logically. The orderly outlining of facts, examples, and figures ensures the credibility of their messages. At the end of their communicative messages, they like to summarize all the major points. They believe it is very important in addition to everything else that has already been explained earlier (Hall and Hall, 1990).

Linguistic Features of German Verbal Communication

The German language is straight and literal in several aspects of semantics and grammar. German is more literal than English. Many English words bear various meanings depending on the context of communication. German words are usually precise and have exact meanings.

The German culture of verbal communication reflects certain grammatical and lexical features of the German language. For example, the verb frequently comes at the end of a German sentence. Therefore, it takes a while for a listener to fully understand what a German speaker is going to say until the end of the speech (Hall and Hall, 1990).

German Values of Respect and Understanding

In interpersonal interaction, Germans may look serious and arrogant. Sometimes, they may have an unapproachable appearance. However, they have a deep need to be understood and respected.

They appreciate respect more than admiration, even though they still have a need to be liked. The emotions that people experience can be intense. But they prefer not to show many emotions in their facial and bodily expressions. Their experience of mood is frequently pessimistic and melancholic.

German Friendship

German people tend to develop deep relationships and friendships in pursuit of true understanding. In such relationships, they like to talk about their private feelings and problems.

Germans believe that most American friendships are superficial in their relationships and conversations.

In private conversations with close friends, they appreciate discussing the philosophical issues and meanings of life.

9 Features of the French Style of Communication

Several western European cultures are quite different from the North American culture of the USA. Even though they are all presumably Western cultures, they differ in several respects in communication styles.

Americans are known internationally as loud, talkative, direct, and assertive communicators. They are chatty, polite, and verbally and nonverbally expressive people. They prefer to maintain social distance when interacting.

Although the French and other western Europeans differ from Americans in their ways of emotional experience and expression, they are also quite different within western European societies. Each of western Europe’s neighboring countries has their own culturally distinct expressive styles in interpersonal communication (Karandashev, 2021a).

For example, in another article, I described the 9 main features of the German style of interpersonal communication in comparison with American communication and French communication styles.

Emotional French People

French people experience emotions intensely and openly. Sometimes, they demonstratively express their displeasure and anger or affection and love. They like to defend their opinions in discussions actively and energetically.

The French Have an Impulsive Orientation toward Emotion

French society is a culture with an impulsive orientation toward emotion. The French people have a very emotional way of doing things; they can be very joyous and engaging. Yet sometimes the French temper lashes out (Hallowell, Bowen, & Knoop, 2002, p. 14). This feature is different from the American culture of communication.

The French Are Eloquent, Frank, and Indirect in the Communication

The French do not worry about “phony chumminess” or false informalities (Hall & Hall, 1990, p. 117). “Service with a smile” is present in the US not only in the business and service spheres but in other areas of life as well, while the French do not care about this.

The French communication style can also be characterized as frank, indirect, and eloquent. That is in some contrast not only with American culture, but also with neighboring German culture, where a direct approach to communication is quite normative (Hall & Hall, 1990, p. 102).

The French Enjoy Small Talks and Chats

French people relish small talk and conversations. Every engagement begins with general conversation. They are usually informed about current events and willingly discuss them. French society is characterized as a high-context culture. In their dialogues, the French prefer to leave a room for imagination, not spell out some details. In verbal communication, they admire mystery, sophistication, and nuances of expression.

The French Are Similar to the Japanese in their Preference for High-context Communication

The French communication style is similar to the Japanese style since both are high-context cultures. Nevertheless, the French style is different from the Japanese one. The French frequently talk about something without explicit expression. They assume that a listener intuitively understands the hidden message. In this regard, their communication style is similar to the Japanese culture. Yet, the French style is different because they enjoy spirited discussion with logical rhetoric. They mentally engage in highly detailed problems of great complexity and do not give up until they are solved.

The Mediterranean Origins of French Culture

As for emotions and actions, modern French culture is substantially influenced by the early Mediterranean cultures. Therefore, people’s communication and behavior more resemble the cultures of Southern Europe, such as Spain and Italy, than the cultures of other northern European countries. The French are traditionalists; they respect formalities, status, and have a good sense of humor.

Why Are the French Inconsistent and Impatient Sometimes?

The French may exhibit seemingly contradictory expressions and behaviors. This inconsistency might be due to the internal conflicts between logic, emotion, and pragmatism. This is why the French can be impatient. They just experience an internal conflict between emotions and logic, between emotions and pragmatism.

Patience is not among the top French values, partially because of their temperament. People act at a fast tempo and move rapidly. They think quickly, expecting a simple yes or no, not a lengthy discussion, seeking to make a decision (Hall & Hall, 1990).

The French Culture of Self-Discipline, Obedience, and Forgiveness

The Catholic faith teaches the French people forgiveness as a high cultural value. Therefore, the French tend to experience and express forgiveness in various kinds of interpersonal relationships. Parents teach them self-discipline, obedience, and good manners. In adult life, they expect obedience from subordinates.

The French are conservative traditionalists and resistant to change. Nevertheless, throughout recent decades, they have become more open to new experiences.

French Individualism Is Different from American Individualism

The French are very individualistic people, not always responsive to other people’s needs. They are also not responsive to public pressure or pressure from others. Unlike Germans, they are nonconformists.

The French are meticulous about social norms, being strongly perfectionist in style, behavior, dress, and manners. They are polite and expect precision in language, using the proper approach in social interactions. The stance and posture of a person during interaction convey correctness and formality. They do not favor the informal and casual styles of Americans.

Emotionally Expressive and Extraverted Americans?

North Americans from the United States have international stereotypes of being loudly talkative, very friendly to strangers, and being lively and facially expressive in conversations.

How common are these communication traits among Americans as a whole? Are these actions consistent across all contexts of interaction? Because American society in the United States of America is so culturally diverse, generalizations can be misleading (Karandashev, 2021a).

American Overt Expression of Emotions

North American culture is a self-expressive culture. Social norms teach peopleto openly express their emotions. A common belief is that non-restrained emotional self-expression is good for better understanding and shows clear evidence of empathy in interaction. People also believe that open self-expression is healthy and brings relationship satisfaction. This is why many Americans are so talkative and very explicit in their facial expressions. 

Cultural groups in the USA, however, are fairly heterogeneous. So, the emotional expressiveness of European Americans is different from Asian Americans.

Among European Americans, their immigration descent also plays a role in their cultural norms of emotional expression. The ways in which people express their emotions remain consistent with their country of origin.

For instance, European Americans of Irish descent tend to be more expressive. On the other hand, European Americans of Scandinavian descent are generally less expressive (Tsai & Chentsova-Dutton, 2003). It is worthy of note that the differences in emotional expressiveness are especially marked when they express love and happiness.

Americans Tend to Be Positive and Exaggerate

Many Americans like pleasant and positive things and have difficulties dealing with negative emotions. They tend to be positive in their interpersonal attitudes. They encourage communicators to drop their negative emotions. Their lovely sayings are “Everything will be okay!” or “Take it easy.”

Generally, Americans tend to boost and exaggerate their positive as well as negative emotions. They like happiness and anger. They like to “love it” and “hate it.” Appreciating the culture of pride, they like to brag.

In conversations, they appreciate jokes and, generally, a sense of humor. They often use humor to ease tensions in interactions and difficult social situations. Humor also boosts strong positive emotions.

The American Culture of Small Talk

Americans tend to keep their social conversations light and engage in “small talk” rather than serious conversation. They don’t like philosophical discussions and believe that philosophy is too abstract and boring (Hall & Hall, 1990). Thinking too much is not for them. They prefer to think by doing. They prefer to solve problems quickly by small actions rather than by complex processes. They prefer to be functional rather than systemic.

They don’t like to discuss anything in meaningful depth or in a truly dialogical manner. They prefer to dispute and debate public issues rather than meaningfully discuss them. On the other hand, in small talk and interpersonal relations, they tend to be shallow and agreeable. Their lovely saying is “Yes!” in a culturally specific pronunciation. They like small talk and small love. They love everybody and greet everybody on the street but prefer not to get too involved. In-depth discussion makes them bored. Many Americans like to speak and laugh loudly, probably because in this expressive manner they boost their positive emotions.

Americans Have Difficulties in the Expression of Sympathy

They have difficulties dealing with the negative emotions of others in empathic and compassionate ways. It is very evident when they need to respond to someone’s suffering.

For example, Americans are different from Germans in the ways they express sympathy. Americans prefer to stay away and avoid the negative emotions of others, while Germans are more willing to understand the negative emotions of others and express their condolences. Americans are less comfortable when they need to express sympathy, mentioning only negative feelings.

For example, in the study, scientists gave American and German participants the opportunity to write sympathy cards. It was found that Americans were more positive and optimistic than Germans (e.g., “May you find comfort”). On the other hand, Germans were more negative and compassionate (e.g., “I hope these words show how much I share your pain”). (Tsai, Koopmann-Holm, Miyazaki, & Ochs, 2013).

American Culture of Anger Experience and Expression

Several American scholars have noted that the experience and expression of anger is quite common in North American culture.

For example, American social psychologist Carol Tavris (1982) offered a possible explanation for this cultural phenomenon:

“The individualism of American life… creates anger and encourages its release; for when everything is possible, limitations are irksome.”

(Tavris, 1982, p. 65).

Thus, for North Americans, the frequent and strong experiences and expressions of anger stem from the sense of their rights. Their cultural meaning of anger is based on how highly they value individualism, autonomy, and individual rights.

Because of these cultural values, when other people intrude on their personal space, private lives, or argue with their views of the world, they promptly utilize the communication strategy of “active aggression.” They become actively involved, additionally elaborate on their beliefs, and respond emotionally and angrily to those who question their beliefs.

Their communication in response becomes threatening. They become active in their reactions.

They “answer the remark directly, even though it is uncomfortable.”

They “defend themselves by explanation and argument.”

They “use humor and sarcasm to put him in his place.”

They rarely select to “ask others what they think,” “laugh,” and “change the subject.” (Barnlund, 1975, p. 449).

And cultural differences play a more important role than gender roles. Women behave aggressively in such circumstances, in the same way as men.

The North American Style of Communication

According to cross-culturally known stereotypes, Americans are talkative, loud, and physically expressive in their communication. They prefer direct communication but are often not sensitive to indirect cues of the social context of a situation, such as double meanings, implicit messages, the tone of voice, and body posture. On the one hand, they prefer to keep a physical distance in interpersonal interactions, but on the other hand, they appear physically accessible in intimate relationships (Karandashev, 2021a).

How typical are these features of communication for all Americans? Are these behaviors the same in all situations of interaction?

In reality, however, it is difficult to generalize because American society in the United States of America is very culturally diverse. Do all Americans have anything in common? Yes, they do. Not all, but at least many, especially those of European descent.

This is why people in other countries can relatively easily recognize a foreigner as an American. For example, the common stereotypes and, frequently, the reality are that Americans are loud in speaking and physically expressive in communication.

Let us consider some of the research findings which elucidate the American culture of emotional expression.

The North American High-Contact Culture of Communication

North Americans belong to low-contact cultures. In this regard, they are similar to northern Europeans and Asians. Their communication style is different from that of Latin Americans, Arabs, and southern and eastern Europeans, which are characterized as high-contact cultures.

People from North America prefer to maintain a physical distance, keep slightly indirect body orientations, and avoid frequent touch in interpersonal communication compared to people from high-contact cultures (Karandashev, 2021a).

The Interpersonal Distance that Americans Prefer

However, North Americans differ from other low-contact societies in other ways as well, for example in physical contact as an indicator of interpersonal distance. Studies have shown that Americans tend to maintain more frequent physical contact with a person than Japanese do in various kinds of personal relationships (Karandashev, 2021).

Americans appear to be more physically expressive and more physically accessible. In close relationships, Americans feel comfortable having physical contact with friends of the opposite sex in any area of the body. 

Americans Prefer Direct Communication Styles

People in their interactions with others in relationships use both direct and indirect messages of verbal and nonverbal communication (Karandashev, 2021).

Americans, in this regard, prefer to be direct in their messages. They tend to be open, explicit, and confident in their social interactions. They are chatty in small talk.

However, they are frequently insensitive to context or situational cues, both verbal and nonverbal. Therefore, they sometimes miss such nonverbal cues as double meanings, vague statements, hidden messages, subtle shifts in the voices of communicators, breathing, and slight changes in body posture. They often miss the fact that “yes” does not always mean “yes”, and “no” does not always mean “no”.

Americans Are Talkative, Expressive, and Assertive

North Americans tend to be open, talkative, and assertive in their emotional communication. Americans are welcoming, appear very personal, and polite in interpersonal communication and relationships.

For instance, in their expression of emotions, they are different from the Japanese. The personality profiles of the American and Japanese expressive cultures are highly consistent. Here are the American and Japanese perspectives on how they perceive each other and themselves.

Americans view themselves and are also viewed by the Japanese as “informal,” “talkative,” “frank,” “self-assertive,” and “spontaneous”.

Japanese view Americans as “humorous,” while Americans view themselves as rather “impulsive.”

Americans prefer informal encounters. They tend to be self-expressive, talkative, spontaneous, and self-assertive. They are open and frank when sharing their emotional experiences.

When Americans and Japanese disclose themselves non-verbally and verbally in various situations, they express this culturally differently. Americans generally show a higher level of self-revelation than the Japanese. On average, the levels of disclosure among Americans are much higher than among Japanese people. It is true even in intimate relationships. Americans in romantic relationships and other close relationships need to hear from their partners over and over that they love them (Barnlund, 1975).

In another article, I described the main features of the German and French styles of communication.

How Do Nordic People Experience and Express Emotions?

The Nordic countries comprise Denmark, Sweden, Norway, Finland, Iceland, and some other regional territories. The countries of Denmark, Sweden, and Norway are called Scandinavian societies because of their cultural similarities. So, these Scandinavian countries are parts of the Nordic region. The term “Scandinavian” also refers to the Scandinavian Peninsula, which includes mainland Norway, Sweden, and Finland’s northwest corner.

Nordic Low-contact Cultures

Researchers found several cultural features of communication styles in Nordic countries, which characterize the ways in which they express emotions (see for review, Karandashev, 2021a).

People in those cultures (e.g., Sweden and Finland) tend to be inhibited in their expression of emotions, while people in other European cultures (e.g., Ireland and Italy) are inclined to express their emotions openly. Nordic people are somber while Latins are hot-tempered (Karandashev, 2019, 2022; McCrae & Terracciano, 2006).

Nordic societies are low-contact cultures, in which regard they differ from Mediterranean, Arab, and Latin American societies, which are high-contact cultures. People limit the number of interpersonal contacts and maintain more distance in communication. They are reserved in their expression of emotions. They tend to be less emotionally expressive in their interpersonal relationships. Nordic people display less liveliness in their body movements and laugh and smile less frequently than people in high-contact cultures.

The Cold Nordic Climate Can Contribute to the Reserved Temperament of Their People

Some researchers attribute these differences to the climate. People in Nordic countries live at high latitudes in cooler climates, whereas people in the Mediterranean, Arab, and Latin American societies live closer to the equator in warmer climates (Vrij & Winkel, 1991).

Many people in Nordic countries (Denmark, Sweden, Norway, Finland, and Iceland) are typically reserved. Their cultural legacy is centered on twin implicit ethics: “Don’t think you’re so special” and “Keep to yourself” (Erickson, 2005, p. 642).

Nordic People Appreciate Personal Autonomy and Privacy

As previously stated, people in Nordic countries place a high value on personal autonomy and privacy. In this regard, many Americans believe that shy people are less intelligent, less competent, and socially desirable, thus considering shyness a negative trait. People from Nordic countries think another way. They believe that shyness is a positive emotional trait. They consider shy people to be sensitive, reflective, and nonpushy (Daun, 1995; Erickson, 2005). In addition to this, Americans emphasize the value of personal pride, while people from Nordic countries emphasize the value of personal modesty.

Even though others may interpret such behavior as introversion, withdrawal, rejection, and anxiety, the people of Nordic countries themselves attribute it to being less verbal, vocal, and intrusive. People tend to avoid meddling questions and deep and elaborate discussions with people outside of their close relationships. They may seem passive in conversation.

Nordic Values of Emotional Control and Moderation

Their social norms endorse emotional control and moderation in the expression of emotions (Midelfort & Midelfort, 1982; Pennebaker et al., 1996; Rodnick, 1955). Individuals in those cultures appear more emotionally inhibited than in other European cultures. In Norway, for example, people prefer to reduce the expression of certain negative emotions (e.g., “excessive” anger) because “expressing them would interfere with neighborly relationships” (Midelfort & Midelfort, 1982; Rodnick, 1955, p. 14). Norwegians tend to minimize the experience of pleasure and other positive emotions (Erickson & Simon, 1996).

It is interesting that Scandinavian languages do not contain a rich vocabulary of aggressive words. This can reflect the avoidance of conflict, holding back aggressiveness and preferring practical solutions instead. However, in the case of a loss and unresolved grief, the lack of expressiveness can have negative consequences: the person can be susceptible to developing physical or psychological symptoms (Erickson, 2005).

Finish Style of Emotional Expression

Finland represents the typical example of the Scandinavian expressive style. Finns communicate silently and monologuously, with slow-moving turns of speech and relatively long pauses. Finish speakers do not like being interrupted with verbal exclamations, applause, or other superficial external feedback. They listen to a speaker without any external evidence that they are paying attention. Yet this is the most attentive way of listening (Nishimura, Nevgi, & Tella, 2008; Tella, 2005). Finns are characterized by lower levels of fearfulness and other negative emotions, but higher positive emotions and emotional control compared to Americans (Gaias et al., 2012).

The Danish “Hygge” and Swedish “Lagom”—the  Cultural Ways of Emotional Experience

The two Scandinavian words reflecting their cultural values and character have become internationally known in recent years: the Danish “hygge” and the Swedish “lagom.”

The popular Danish cultural term “hygge” reflects the national emotional culture of Danes. They tend to foster in their minds and situations around them, the feelings of peace, warmth, coziness, and emotional well-being. They are disposed to enjoy the simple pleasures of being in the moment (e.g., Johansen, 2017; Levisen, 2014; Søderberg, 2016).

The popular Swedish term “lagom” reflects the tendency of Swedes to live in spaces, moments, and ways that are relatively balanced. They wish that everything in life would be in moderation: not too little, not too much, but just right. They are inclined to balance the pressures of everyday life and nurture emotional pleasure, well-being, and happiness (e.g., Akerstrom, 2017; Barinaga,1999; Dunne, 2017).

The Science of Love at First Sight

Romantic love has been traditionally portrayed as a mysterious, inexplicable bond between two people—a man and a woman. It is a feeling that can’t be explained by logic or rational thought. Love emerges from the heart, not from the head. Love is a mysterious experience that makes a person enormously happy or sorrowfully miserable. It often comes unexpectedly as the enigmatic sense of “love at first sight.” We instantly know it is he or she—one who is special and uniquely destined for us.

The mysterious feelings associated with love are fascinating. And people across many cultures experience love at first sight.

Does this imply that love has a supernatural power? Is there any way for science to explain the “love-at-first-sight” phenomenon? Researchers have been able to explore the psychological experience of why I might fall in love with someone I just met for the first time.

The Irrational Nature of Love at First Sight

The cross-cultural commonality of the phenomena and lexicon of love at first sight likely emerges from the basic human mechanisms, which are psychological and physiological in nature. This experience of love is largely unconscious, irrational, intuitive, and not well reflected by individuals. One can explain this irrational aspect of love through the biochemistry of love or fate.

Fate is a good old-fashioned explanation for less educated people. Biochemistry sounds more scientific—according to the modern educated culture. Nevertheless, it still sounds magical. It implies that love at first sight is impossible to explain rationally.

Scientific Explanations of Love at First Sight

Scientifically, a “hindsight bias” can explain the belief in love’s destiny. In hindsight, memories of events are distorted. This is an experience of the “knew-it-all-along” phenomenon, when a person overestimates how predictable past events are. This is a psychological predictability illusion.

Here is another scientific explanation. It is likely that intuitive abilities allow a person to quickly appraise a suitable partner in about 100 ms (Olson & Marshuetz, 2005; Willis & Todorov, 2006). A physically attractive man or woman is more likely to spark love at first sight. It triggers their instant passionate physical attraction, which is experienced intuitively as an intense gut feeling.

This heightened passion of infatuation precipitates the “halo” effect, transmitting this emotional experience in total adoration of the beloved one. “José Maria had been a victim of Cupid’s arrows the instant he laid eyes on Soledad. Physical attraction and erotic passion were transformed in romantic love into an intuition of the qualities of the beloved” (Dueñas-Vargas, 2015p. 2).

The phenomenon can also be explained as an altered, idealized perception of another person induced by romantic infatuation or retrospective illusion (Grant-Jacob, 2016; Zsok, Haucke, De Wit, & Barelds, 2017). This is referred to as the “love is blind” bias. The belief in love at first sight can be retrospective due to the positive hindsight bias and the projection of current passion onto the first encounter. Unconsciously, their first meeting is tied to romantic relationship ideals as a way to make it special.

Cultural Differences in Attitudes Toward Love at First Sight

The cultures, however, differ in the value that people place on idealization and romantic beliefs—love at first sight is among those. Studies conducted in the 1980s–1990s and early 2000s (see, for review, Karandashev, 2019, 2021b) discovered that French, Germans, British, and Russians are more romantic than Americans. However, Americans are more romantic in their beliefs than Japanese, Chinese, Indians, Turkish, and African students.

The major noticeable differences between these societies are individualistic versus collectivistic, liberal versus conservative values, idealistic versus pragmatic orientations of their cultures, and corresponding individual freedom versus kin responsibility in marital choice. We can expect that people in those societies have corresponding beliefs about love at first sight—whether it is worthwhile to believe in this kind of love or not, if you have the freedom to follow your emotional inspiration or not. It’s also worth mentioning that in some countries, the old European traditions of romantic literature and art can still have a lasting effect on romantic beliefs. The belief in love at first sight is among them.

The Mystery of Love at First Sight

Through the centuries, love has been depicted as a mysterious, incomprehensible connection between two people. It is a sense that defies logic, reason, or reasonable thought. The mysterious feeling of “love at first sight” is a wonderful example of such a happy and mysterious experience.

What Is Love at First Sight?

One of the major tenets of the classical romantic love model is love at first sight. The modern symbols of Cupid’s “love arrows”—the images of a winged infant carrying a bow and a heart pierced by an arrow—came from ancient Roman mythology. Nowadays, they signify love at first sight. Over history, love at first sight has been popularized in Western cultures through art, romantic novels, plays, shows, and movies.

What Does Love at First Sight Look Like?

These days, “falling in love,” likely at first sight, is typical in romantic love plots and the narrative of many romantic novels and films (Hefner & Wilson, 2000).

The dilated eyes look at an attractive stranger passing by or standing by in the hallway. And the character feels insight—actually, testosterone, estrogen, and oxytocin—hinting that this is true love. For many young people, personal models of love entertain the dreams of falling in love on a single happy occasion and with a delightful glance.

Physical attraction is evident in some expressions of the eyes, such as the copulatory gaze and the longing gaze into the eyes of an attractive person. If a person continues to gaze for many seconds, the loved one may notice this and be attracted back to that person. Therefore, the loved one may gaze back at the person. Consequently, the gaze back may reinforce the person’s belief that the loved one is interested in him or her. Then, both are silently gazing into each other’s eyes, feeling an immediate, unspoken emotional attraction. Thus, love at first sight can occur between them at the same time (Grant-Jacob, 2016).

The Cross-Cultural Nature of Love at First Sight

“Love at first sight” seems to be a common metaphor in both literary and colloquial English. The phenomenon of love at first sight is also known across cultures, despite different cultural attitudes toward free choice in love.

There are direct equivalents in other European languages, such as the German expression “Liebe auf den ersten Blick“, the Italian “amore a prima vista”, the Spanish “amor a primera vista”, and the French expression “coup de foudre“. The Italians and Spanish also frequently use the colloquial “colpo di fulmine” (Italian) and “oon fleh-chah-zoh” (Spanish).

The French idiomatic expression “le coup de foudre,” besides its literal meaning, also conveys a figurative meaning of “love at first sight.” It is well known to French-speakers and is different from “tomber amoureux (de)“—gradual falling in love with. 

The Chinese word “chengyu” (yí jiàn zhōng qíng) stands for love at first sight. Since ancient times, Chinese literature has had many tales of love at first sight and the flash of erotic bliss.

The Japanese Hitomebore also means the same basic emotional insight, while Koi No Yokan is an untranslatable Japanese phrase referring to “the premonition of love” – a sense that a person feels upon encountering someone with whom they inevitably fall in love.

How to explain love at first sight

Thus, we can see that love at first sight is a universal, cross-cultural experience. Does this support the supernatural power of love? Or can science explain the “love-at-first-sight” phenomenon in another way?

Over recent years, researchers have been able to delve into psychological explanations of this experience when we fall in love with someone we see for the first time. We instantly feel it’s he or it’s her—one and forever.

Love at first sight is only one of many phenomena illustrating the mystery of love.

And researchers are looking for a scientific explanation of love at first sight.