Category Archives: love attraction

Factors of attraction in love

What Kind of Partners Do Men and Women Prefer to Love and Marry?

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Would you marry someone who is beautiful or handsome, kind, smart, honest, dependable, and industrious, as well as having many other qualities you desire in a mate, but you are not in love with her or him?

What do men and women believe is important for love and marriage?

It seems natural and sounds like common sense that men and women have expectations of mutual interest in mating relationships. Everyone wants not only to love but also to be loved. Unrequited love is a bummer! This is why men and women, when in love with someone, are eager to guess whether they are loved by their beloved or not.

Love and Marriage in the Historical Past

It should be noted that during other historical periods and in other cultures, love played a small role, if any, in the selection of a marriage partner. Many romantic ideals of love and mutual attraction have been depicted in novels and paintings. For centuries, they have served as romantic inspirations for youngsters from wealthy and educated social classes. The reality of marriage was more practical for the majority of people across the world (see many examples in Karandashev, 2017).

The roles of mutual attraction and love have been different in traditional conservative cultures with arranged marriages and in modern liberal cultures with free marriage choices. Nevertheless, as studies have demonstrated throughout years of research, for young men and women, mutual attraction and love are among their main preferences. And the role of these motivators has been constantly increasing over the recent years of cultural evolution across many societies.

What Did the Early Studies of Mating Preferences Reveal?

In the United States, Canada, and many European countries of the 1950s and 1960s, young people substantially increased the value of love and mutual attraction in their marital choices. Many men and women in modern societies have begun to consider love as the basis for marriage. Several studies documented that evidence in their surveys. Nonetheless, for some people in many societies and social classes love was not a requirement for marriage and was far from these ideals (see for review, Karandashev, 2017).

A study of the 1980s administered across 33 nations in 37 cultural samples from many religious, ethnic, and cultural groups identified the personality traits and the qualities of physical attractiveness and resourcefulness that men and women in various societies preferred to find in potential mates (see in Buss, 1994; Buss et al., 1989).

In the 1990s, men and women in various societies around the world viewed mutual attraction and love as the most desirable qualities in their relationships with potential mates. Many men and women in the United States, as well as in many other contemporary industrialized societies, believed that love was the primary basis for marriage (Allgeier & Wiederman, 1991).

Cultural Evolution of the Value of Mutual Attraction in Love and Marriage

How has the value of love changed throughout modern societies and cultural generations? 

Several recent cultural and cross-cultural studies have shown that mutual attraction and love play stable and even increasing roles in mating and partnership in both traditional and modernized countries. Modern men and women commonly connect love and marriage in their dreams.

A historical comparative study of the geographically diverse samples in the USA, despite the modest sample size, demonstrated stability as well as cultural evolution of mating preferences throughout the 1939–1996 period in terms of the personality, physical, and social attributes of potential partners. Data also showed that mutual attraction and love remained and even increased their mating value during that 57-year period for both men and women. This increase in the cultural value of love and attraction for marriage among North American university students suggested that marriage was evolving to a companionate type (Buss et al., 2001).

Two other historical comparative studies analyzed the data of the 1980s and 2010s in Brazil (Souza et al., 2016) and India (Kamble et al., 2014). Researchers in both studies discovered that love and mutual attraction, kindness, and understanding (among other things) remained important in mate preferences over time. 

The results from India were especially noteworthy. It was evident that, despite the long tradition of arranged marriages, young people in India have always wanted love in their marriages. Those who are familiar with Hindi cinema know that Bollywood romantic movies have traditionally featured grandiloquent dialogue and all-important songs and dances of love. These melodramatic stories of love are full of elevated emotions and expressions and beautifully illustrate the dreams of mutual attraction and love among Indian people. The latter did not preclude understanding the practical value of arranged marriages (Dwyer, 2014).

Modern Studies of Preferences in Love and Marriage

Several studies of recent times have shown that love and mutual attraction remain the enduring motivations of men and women for mating, partnership, and marriage. The authors reported their research data obtained in such culturally diverse countries as Jordan (Khallad, 2005), India (Kamble et al., 2014), Brazil (Souza, Conroy-Beam, & Buss, 2016), and the United States of America (Buss et al., 2001).

How Mate Preferences Have Changed Over Recent Decades

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Common laypeople’s observations may show that human mate preferences remain consistent over time. Have mating preferences changed over recent decades?

Nevertheless, the changes in society’s cultural norms still affected mating preferences. In many countries, societies have evolved:

  • from traditional cultures (with their conservative values)
  • to modernized cultures (with higher liberal values and social and gender equality).

People in modernized societies have become less concerned about survival values and more concerned about self-expression values. Several studies have revealed new trends in many modern societies. People have become culturally more emotionally expressive in love.

Cultural Evolution of Modern Mate Preferences in the United States

The comprehensive study by Buss and his colleagues demonstrated that the mating preferences of people in diverse samples of the USA changed throughout a half-century (from 1939 to 1996). The gender differences became less distinctive and showed a tendency to converge. In 1996, the rank of values for different mate qualities changed and showed more similarity. The increased gender equality probably affected those tendencies toward convergence and more equality in mating and romantic partnerships.

Men and women had become more selective in terms of a potential partner’s intelligence, education, and sociability. Also, such qualities as dependable character, maturity, emotional stability, and a pleasing disposition had become highly valued in a prospective partner for both a man and a woman. Men’s desires for similar educational backgrounds and the solid financial prospects of women have risen. However, chastity, neatness, and refinement, on the other hand, lost their mate-value. For men, the value of a woman as a good housekeeper and cook declined. For women, on the other hand, the mating value of a man who was ambitious and hardworking decreased. Mate preferences for what men and women perceive as attractive personality traits for relationships have changed.

Modern Mate Preferences in Different Countries around the World 

A broad cross-national study conducted by the BBC also revealed new expectations that men and women had in the early 2000s regarding the qualities of their prospective partners. Among other traits, participants across all countries considered kindness, honesty, dependability, personal values, intelligence, overall good looks, communication skills, and humor as the most important traits. Some gender differences were found. For example, women ranked honesty, humor, kindness, and dependability as more important compared to men’s valuation (Lippa, 2007; Reimers, 2007).

It is worth noting that across nations, the indices of gender equality were closely related to the ranks of preferred traits among both women and men. Thus, increasing gender equality in some societies was most likely the primary driving force behind cultural evolution.

In both women’s and men’s perceptions, the importance of physical attractiveness to a prospective partner was strongly associated with biological factors. In many modern societies, the importance of physical attractiveness was equal for men and women.

Cultural Evolution of Mate Preferences in Modern Brazil

Another example of the cultural evolution of mating preferences can be seen in Brazilian society in the period from the 1980s to the 2010s (Souza et al., 2016).

Over time, love and mutual attraction, kindness and understanding, emotional stability and maturity, education, and intelligence continued to be important for mate preferences. The gender differences were largely the same.

The study of the Brazilian sample of the 2010s, compared with that of the 1980s, still supported the evolutionary interpretation of gender differences in mate preferences. The evolution of cultural values in Brazil during that period had not changed some mating preferences. Results showed that men still preferred younger and physically attractive mates, while women preferred more resourceful partners in terms of good earning capacity, good financial prospects, or other qualities related to resource acquisition, such as education and intelligence, ambition, industriousness, and social status (Souza et al., 2016).

However, researchers found some cultural shifts over time in mating preferences. Men and women expressed more preference for mates with good financial prospects and less desire for a home and children. Modern men in Brazil no longer place value on the chastity and virginity of their partners. This trend was similar to that of other modern societies, such as the United States, China, and India (Souza it al., 2016).

Another societal shift has occurred in Brazilian society, as well as in some other societies. The cultural values of young Brazilians have changed, as reflected in their mate preferences. The value of fertility has declined. Women and men no longer preferred partners who wanted to have children (Souza at al., 2016).

Cultural Evolution of Mate Preferences in India

Modern Indian society is another example of the cultural evolution of love. Cultural changes, which occurred throughout recent decades (about 25 years) in that country, did not change some gender-prevalent mate preferences:

  • for men, physical attractiveness and youth in women;
  • for women, good financial prospects and social status in men

The changes in mate preferences among both men and women over that period were significant. People increased their preferences for mates who were good housekeepers and cooks, ambitious and industrious people, yet creative and artistic (Kamble et al., 2014).

Sexy Voice for Interpersonal Attraction

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Multisensory perception is important for interpersonal attraction and love. And women and men who are physically attractive may appear differently in different cultures.

Men and women not only look at their partners with admiration but also come closer, speak, sing, dance, touch each other, smile, hug, cuddle, kiss, and so on. Interpersonal perception involves multisensory processing. Visual, auditory, tactile-kinesthetic, olfactory, and gustatory perceptions are used to admire a loved one’s physical qualities.

The Importance of a Sexy Voice for Interpersonal Attraction

Attractive, sexy voices and other sounds of a partner’s vocal appearance and behavior, as well as the sounds of nature and music around them, have a big impact on how attractive and sexually appealing a person is.

Vocal characteristics of the voice, as well as listening to romantic music, can enhance the attractiveness of a potential partner in a relationship (Guéguen, Jacob, & Lamy, 2010).

Voice has mating value and can influence romantic attraction. Attractive male and female voices are associated with several attractive features of men’s and women’s bodies, mating success, and sexual behavior (see for review, Karandashev et al., 2016, 2020).

Those individuals with attractive voices easily initiate relationships, have their first sexual intercourse earlier, and have a greater number of affairs, sexual partners, and encounters (e.g., Apicella, Feinberg, & Marlowe, 2007; Hughes et al., 2004).

Auditory stimuli are essential for sexual attraction in both women and men, but in different contexts. Researchers demonstrated how various effects of voice determine the attraction and mating value of a partner. For example, those with attractive voices have their first sexual intercourse earlier than their peers, and they usually have more affairs and sexual partners (Herz & Cahill, 1997; Hughes et al., 2004).

What Sexy Voice Is Attractive in a Relationship?

Sexual dimorphism plays an important role in this regard, since men’s voices are different from women’s in several characteristics. For example, men’s voices have:

  • a lower pitch, due to the fundamental frequency and
  • lower formant dispersion, due to a lower averaged difference between successive formant frequencies (Fitch, 1997; Titze, 1994).

According to some studies, both males and females consider low voices to be sexy and use a lower pitched voice when speaking to the more attractive opposite-sex person (Hughes, Farley, & Rhodes, 2010; Tuomi and Fischer, 1979).

Both men and women tend to lower their pitch of voice when they are speaking to an attractive person of the opposite sex. The voices directed toward an attractive person (versus an unattractive one) have a noticeably different pitch and sound more pleasant. The low voices also sound sexy (Hughes, Farley, & Rhodes, 2010; Tuomi & Fischer, 1979).

The Man’s Sexy Voice Is Attractive to Women

Many studies have shown that attractive men’s voices are medium or lower in average fundamental frequency, medium to higher in variance of the fundamental frequency, less monotonous, with high or medium pitch variation, which sounds masculine and mature (Riding, Lonsdale, & Brown, 2006; Zuckerman & Miyake, 1993; Zuckerman, Miyake, & Elkin, 1995, see for detailed review Karandashev et al., 2016, 2020).

Men’s voices with a medium or lower pitch, due to the fundamental frequency of speech tone, are more attractive to women (Collins, 2000; Hodges-Simeon, Gaulin, & Puts, 2010; Riding, Lonsdale, & Brown, 2006; Zuckerman & Miyake, 1993).

Women prefer low-pitched male voices in general, but especially when women are ovulating (Feinberg et al., 2006; Puts, 2005).

Sexy Voice and Body Morphology

Biologically, voice parameters correlate with sex-specific body morphology. It was found that men and women with attractive voices usually have better bilateral body symmetry (Hughes, Harrison, & Gallup, 2002; Hughes, Pastizzo, & Gallup, 2008; Pisanski et al., 2016).

Women with attractive voices have a lower waist-to-hip ratio, while men with attractive voices have broader shoulders relative to their hips. These body characteristics indicate reproductive maturity and genetic quality (Hughes et al., 2004).

Men’s Sexy Voice and Masculinity

Data has shown that men with low voice pitches have higher testosterone levels (Cartei, Bond, & Reby, 2014; Dabbs & Mallinger, 1999).

They are perceived to be taller, heavier, and older (Cartei, Bond, & Reby, 2014).

Psychologically, low voice pitch is associated with judgments of greater male dominance (Collins, 2000; Hodges-Simeon, Gaulin, & Puts, 2010).

It is evident that men’s voices that are masculine and sound mature are more attractive to women (Feinberg et al., 2006; Zuckerman, Miyake, & Elkin, 1995).

All these findings support the evolutionary standpoint that women are attracted to men with low voice pitches because they are perceived as strong, masculine, and dominant, and thus capable of enhancing their genetic survival (Barber, 1995; Buss, 1989).

Both the evolutionary theory and the theory of traditional gender-role stereotypes explain why women are attracted to strong and dominant men, which can provide a better opportunity for their survival and wealth. And greater men’s dominance is associated with a voice with a lower average fundamental frequency (Apicella, Feinberg, & Marlowe, 2007; Collins, 2000; Dabbs & Mallinger, 1999).

For example, among Hadza hunter-gatherers, a low voice pitch is associated with higher numbers of offspring (Apicella et al., 2007).

The expressive, sexy voice is attractive in a relationship

Expressive voices are romantically attractive. It is important not only what men and women say to each other, but also how they say them. Men’s voices that are less monotonous, with medium or high variance in fundamental frequency and high or medium pitch variation, for example, are perceived as more attractive. (Ray, Ray, & Zahn, 1991; Zuckerman & Miyake, 1993). These qualities of voice give the impression that males are dynamic, feminine, and aesthetically inclined (Addington, 1968).

However, other variables can mediate these characteristics, producing multifaceted effects. For example, Brown, Strong, and Rencher (1973, 1974) found that medium variance of the fundamental frequency, rather than increased variance of the fundamental frequency, was rated as more attractive. Recently, however, it was found that men with monotone voices have greater numbers of heterosexual sex partners (Hodges-Simeon et al., 2011).

Attractive Personality Traits for Relationship

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Several articles on this blog have covered a wide range of physical and socioeconomic characteristics that people in various cultures search for in potential mating partners. The last article demonstrated how the stereotype “what-is-beautiful-is-good” makes us believe in many other positive personality traits of a physically attractive person.

On the other hand, I showed how a good personality and love make us perceive the beauty in our beloved one.

People’s wisdom across cultures says, “Never judge a book by its cover.” For example, as the Russian proverb says, “Looks aren’t the only thing that matters” (“Beauty is only skin deep”). Many people and cultures consider personality traits as more important attributes of potential mates than their physical appearance (see for review, Karandashev, 2019).

Among psychological factors, the personality characteristics of a potential partner play a significant role in romantic encounters and relationships (e.g., Walster, Aronson, Abrams, & Rottman, 1966).

Let us consider the personality traits that are attractive to people in various cultures. Are there any similarities? How different are such preferences in different societies?

Early Studies of Mating Preferences from an Evolutionary Perspective

One of the early cross-cultural studies across 37 cultural groups from 33 nations revealed that personality traits that men and women in many societies find attractive in potential mates are being lively, having a pleasing disposition, having emotional stability, having a dependable character, being kind, having intelligence, and being mature. These studies of mate preferences for long-term mating showed that the physical attractiveness of women for men and the resource prospects of men for women were only of moderate importance compared to those psychological and personality characteristics (Buss et al., 1989)

Evolutionary interpretations are very plausible. Men, who presumably needed to propagate their own offspring, wanted to ensure that they were the rightful parents. Therefore, they are especially concerned to know that they are the parents of their children.

From an evolutionary perspective, men were not very selective in their sexual relationships. Nevertheless, they still preferred women “who are sexually loyal and likely to be faithful as indicators of paternity certainty.”(Buss & Schmitt, 1993, p. 226).

The Cultural Evolution of Mating Preferences in Attractive Personality Traits from the 1939s to the 1990s

The later studies demonstrated that cultural evolution throughout the second half of the XX century (from 1939 to 1996) took place and changed the valuation of psychological and personality mating factors. Men’s and women’s preferences for a prospective partner’s intelligence, education, and sociability have become higher. However, the mating values of chastity, neatness, and refinement diminished (Buss et al., 2001).

During the period from 1939 to 1996, the importance of political background was still low for prospective mating partners. 

During those decades of the 20th century, several personality characteristics of a prospective partner, such as a pleasing disposition, emotional stability, dependable character, and maturity, were consistently of high value for both men and women.

By the early 1990s, men had increased their preferences for similarity of educational background and good financial prospects in their prospective partners, which was a noticeable change in the historical evolution of mating preferences. Yet, for men, the value of a woman as a good cook and housekeeper decreased. On the other hand, for women, the mating value of a man being ambitious and industrious decreased.

Modern Mating Preferences for Attractive Personality Traits

The importance of various traits in modern mating preferences has been demonstrated in another study from the early 2000s. The British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) administered an Internet survey about preferred traits in a mate among 119,733 men and 98,462 women. Respondents in this cross-national study were asked to select the traits that they viewed as the first, second, and third most important attributes in a prospective partner. From a list of 23 characteristics, participants across all nations and cultures ranked as the most important traits “intelligence, humor, honesty, kindness, overall good looks, facial attractiveness, values, communication skills, and dependability.” (Lippa, 2007, p. 193).

Overall, men ranked facial attractiveness and good looks more important than women did. Sex differences in rankings of attractiveness were very consistent across 53 nations. On the other side, women ranked honesty, humor, kindness, and dependability as more important than men did. Across countries, indices of gender equality correlated with rankings of character traits in both women’s and men’s responses. However, there was no correlation with rankings of physical attractiveness. The study showed that cultural factors were associated with how women and men ranked character traits. On the other hand, biological factors were relatively more predictive of women’s and men’s rankings of physical attractiveness.

Attractive Personality Traits Among Muslims and Jordanians in the Early 2000s

Muslim women living in the United States prefer a prospective partner who is emotionally sensitive and sincere. They place a higher value on these characteristics than men do (Badahdah & Tiemann, 2005).

Men and women in Jordanian society prefer the same attractive personality traits in their prospective partners as in many other cultures. These are refinement, neatness, kindness, and a pleasing disposition (Khallad, 2005).

What Physical Attractiveness Tells about Personality Traits

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We like to talk to and have a relationship with beautiful and physically attractive men and women. Their physical attractiveness is pleasant for interpersonal communication. What is their personality like?

Do pleasant or unpleasant personality traits predispose us to perceive men and women as physically attractive? According to studies, character and personality affect whether we perceive the physical appearance of a partner as attractive or not.

What Do Men and Women Look for in Prospective Mates?

Men and women have their own sexual preferences for physical attractiveness in prospective partners. Other articles on this website have presented a variety of physical attributes that men and women in different cultures look for in their prospective partners.

The evolutionary mate-selection theory asserts that some qualities that attract women and men in potential mates are cross-culturally universal. According to the theory, good-looking physical appearance is more important for men in their judgment of women than it is for women in their judgment of men. And some research findings back up this theory (e.g., Buss et al., 1990; Buss, 1994; Buss & Barnes, 1986).

However, other studies have not been consistent in this regard. It turned out that cultural contexts and other moderating variables produce differential effects (see review in other articles on this website).

As we’ll see below, personality traits are among those.

What Is Beautiful Is Good

It is commonly known that people like others who are beautiful. Besides the obvious immediate and direct importance of physical attractiveness for love, good-looking people often have good character and personality. Or this might be just a stereotype.

Meanwhile, the “what-is-beautiful-is-good” effect (see another article on this website) can explain why physical attractiveness is important (evolutionarily or culturally), suggesting good personality traits in a potential partner, such as dependable character, emotional stability, pleasing disposition, kindness, intelligence, and maturity (Fugère, Madden, & Cousins, 2019; Yela & Sangrador, 2001).

Does Good Character Make Men and Women Physically Attractive?

On the other hand, character and personality also affect whether physical appearance is perceived as attractive. Studies have suggested that the perception of physical attractiveness is contingent on many other contextual factors: positive or negative knowledge, personality characteristics of a person, the context in which they see that person, and so on. Across cultures, wise people say, “Beauty is only skin-deep.”

A series of studies collected the data in several international samples and revealed how the personality characteristics of women affect men’s perceptions of their physical attractiveness when women appeared in various body sizes, weights, and waist-to-hip ratios. In the same way, studies found that the personality characteristics of men affect women’s perceptions of their physical attractiveness (Fugère, Madden, & Cousins, 2019; Swami, Greven, & Furnham, 2007; Swami et al., 2010; Yela & Sangrador, 2001).

These findings demonstrate that beauty is more than just skin-deep. In particular, men who have prior positive knowledge about the personality of a woman perceive her as physically attractive in a wider variety of body sizes. Men who have prior negative knowledge about her personality, on the other hand, perceive her as physically attractive only in a narrower range of body sizes (Swami et al., 2010).

According to other studies, dependable character, emotional stability, pleasing disposition, and kindness also affect positive impressions of physical appearance (Fugère, Madden, & Cousins, 2019; Yela & Sangrador, 2001).

Is Beauty in the Eye of the Beholder?

From the ancient Egyptians, Greeks, and Romans across centuries, multiple scholars and artists have explored many objective qualities of beautiful people, such as symmetry, proportion, harmony, averageness, and others.

Nevertheless, there is strong scientific evidence that the personality of a perceiver also affects their perception of the attractiveness of another person. Some people are personally and culturally predisposed to seeing beauty in its variety, while others are not. Individuals high in the personality trait of Openness to Experience, as well as men high in the trait of Agreeableness, perceive a wider range of men’s and women’s body sizes as attractive. They also tend to idealize a heavier body size among women (Swami, Buchanan, Furnham, & Tovée, 2008).

The physical attractiveness of another person also depends on the perceiver’s state of being. Happiness makes everything beautiful, while depression makes everything worse. Being in romantic love, a person sees others through rose-colored glasses. Beauty is quite subjective and can be pleasantly illusionary. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

As I noted elsewhere,

“we love a partner not because he or she is beautiful; we rather perceive him or her as beautiful because we love them.”

Our love makes them beautiful.

Lovers tend to have positive partner illusions and perceive their beloved as more attractive than others, as well as themselves. Based on the attractiveness of body parts, men and women rate their romantic partners as more attractive than others and themselves. Experience of romantic love and relationship satisfaction make them vulnerable to the love-is-blind bias. However, those who are in long relationships with their partner experience this attractiveness bias much less (Swami, Stieger, Haubner, Voracek, & Furnham, 2009).

Other Articles of Interest on This Topic are

The Culturally High Emotional Expressiveness of Love

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The studies presented in this article show that high levels of emotional expressiveness have become culturally normative forms of self-expression in modern societies.

Multiple studies throughout the decades have reported numerous cross-cultural findings on how physical types of appearance, such as skin, body, and face, are perceived by men and women as attractive in their desired mates.

These qualities are the static physical features that researchers expose to people in pictures. Surprisingly, many of these attractive qualities are similar across cultures, yet many of these qualities are specific to some societies living in specific ecological, social, and cultural conditions.

The static physiological characteristics of beauty are especially important in traditional collectivistic (see another post). However, in modernized individualistic societies, their importance for partnership has substantially decreased. Instead, expressive characteristics of physical appearance, such as expressive faces, bodies, smiles, deodorants, original hair styles, and clothes, have become more valuable in modern societies (Karandashev, 2022a).

The Cultures of High Emotional Expressiveness versus Low Emotional Expressiveness

A comprehensive meta-analysis of multiple studies has revealed the two typologies of expressivity in emotional life across cultures.

  • One typology identified (a) expressive and (b) non-expressive cultural models of emotions.
  • Another typology identified cultural models of (c) direct and (d) indirect emotional expressivity.

Each of these models represents a spectrum of variations representing a diversity of ways in which people express their emotions across different societies, rather than dichotomies (Karandashev, 2021).

The patterns of emotional expressiveness are apparently different between highly expressive cultures, preferred and prevalent among European Americans, and low-expressive cultures, preferred and prevalent among East Asians (Karandashev, 2021).

A meta-analysis of numerous studies undertaken across 26 countries discovered that people in societies with higher levels of individualism are more emotionally expressive. Men and women living in wealthy societies are not necessarily emotionally expressive, while social and political factors in those societies affect expressivity. In countries that respect democracy and human rights, people are generally more emotionally expressive. People in politically stable societies are also more expressive of their positive emotions (Van Hemert, Poortinga, & van de Vijver, 2007).

In modern individualistic societies, the expressive nonverbal behavior of men and women is displayed in closer proximity in interaction: open body position, eye contact, more vocal animation, touching, smiling, and expressiveness. When partners mutually love each other, they tend to reciprocate these kinds of behaviors (Andersen & Andersen, 1984).

The Cultural Values of Emotional Self-expression in Modern Societies

Recent cross-cultural research showed that people in comparatively modernized societies differ from traditional ones in the physical characteristics that they view as more valuable in their love partners. Data revealed that modernized individualistic societies (such as France, Portugal, and the USA) are mainly self-expression cultures, which are characterized by a decreased value of the Power Distance and prevalent values of Individualism, Indulgence, and Emancipation. These cultures are largely liberal and encourage open and sincere facial and body expressiveness (Karandashev et al., 2016, 2020).

The culturally determined dynamic, flexible, and expressive physical qualities of a partner’s appearance, such as an expressive face and body, a smile, expressive speaking, outfits, and fashion, are especially valuable for men and women in more modernized societies. Fashion does not require one to follow cultural conventions. It is more about personal style. It encourages self-expression rather than conformism to social rules (Karandashev et al., 2016, 2020).

Expressive Individualism of European American Culture

For instance, expressive individualism is one of the most important features of European-American culture. Men and women communicate with others by expressing their feelings. Personal feelings are of the utmost importance to them (Lutz, 1988). Their emotional styles are more expressive than the suppressive styles found in East Asian cultures. European Americans tend to be more emotionally expressive than Japanese, both verbally and non-verbally (Matsumoto et al., 1988).

People in expressive societies, such as the United States and some countries in Europe, often rely on overt behaviors and explicit messages (Hall, 1976; Lustig & Koester, 1999). Men and women in those cultures are consistently in contact with their feelings. They trust verbal communication of emotions, preferring direct and explicit emotional messages. People from other cultures frequently perceive them as excessively talkative and emotional in interpersonal communication.

The Cultural Values of Verbal Emotional Expressiveness

People in emotionally expressive cultures rely on verbal communication when they interact with each other. People in the United States, for example, find more verbally expressive men and women more attractive (Elliott et al., 1982).

Women and men, especially men, are less sensitive to nonverbal communication. They have difficulties understanding such aspects of relationships as unarticulated emotions, moods, and subtle gestures (Andersen, Hecht, Hoobler, & Smallwood, 2003; Hall, 1976).

How Does Self-expression Affect Life Satisfaction?

Across 46 countries, in modernized societies with high values of self-expression, such as the Netherlands, the USA, Canada, and Australia, the expression of positive emotions determined greater life satisfaction than in countries with prevalent values of survival, such as Russia, Hungary, China, and Zimbabwe (Kuppens et al., 2008).

For example, Americans are very expressive when they communicate their happiness to others. And happiness is one of the most admired focal emotions in American culture (see for review: Mesquita & Leu, 2007).

Here Are Some Other Related Articles on This Topic

To better understand the low level of expressed emotion in collectivistic cultures, it is interesting to compare how people experience and express emotions in individualistic cultures and how the culturally low emotional expressiveness of love is culturally valuable in traditional collectivistic societies.

It is also interesting to know about,

The Culturally Low-Expressed Emotion of Love

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This article presents the findings of multiple studies on how low levels of expressed emotion are culturally typical for people in traditional collectivistic societies.

Other articles on this website have presented an abundance of cross-cultural findings on the physical traits—face, body, skin, tactile, and olfactory senses—that people find attractive in their prospective mates and romantic partners. These qualities are markedly physiological. And they refer to the static physical appearance and beauty that are widely valued and similar across many societies. Their cultural value and specific embodiment, however, vary depending on ecological, social, and cultural contexts. Their significance varies greatly between traditional collectivistic and modern individualistic societies (Karandashev, 2022a).

Many studies have shown that the value of expressive features of physical appearance in love relationships and marriages culturally varies from one society to another.

The Cultures of Low- versus High- Expressed Emotion

Based on the findings of numerous studies, I have compiled comprehensive descriptions of (1) highly-expressive and low-expressive cultural models of emotions as well as (2) models of direct and indirect emotional expression. These models demonstrate the diversity of ways in which people express their emotions in different cultures, including the most visible ones such as facial expressions (Karandashev, 2021).

A recent series of cross-cultural studies supported the theory that physical characteristics valued most in romantic partners differ in traditional and modernized societies (Karandashev et al., 2016, 2020).

Relatively traditional collectivistic societies (such as Jamaica, Georgia, and Russia) are mostly survival cultures, which are characterized by the superiority of the Power Distance value and a diminished role of Individualism, Indulgence and Emancipation values. These cultures are largely conservative and encourage reserved and suppressed facial and bodily expressiveness. Results of the studies showed that physiologically determined, static physical qualities of a romantic partner’s appearance, such as facial characteristics, body shape, quality of skin, voice, and smell, are especially valuable for men and women in traditional (less modernized) societies. People in these cultures largely do not consider expressive faces and bodies as important to their romantic partners (Karandashev et al., 2016, 2020).

Cultural Traditions of Low Expressed Emotion in East Asian Cultures

The historical cultural norms of East-Asian cultures, substantially influenced by Confucianism, emphasize self-control, low-arousal emotions, and inhibited displays of emotion in public. People normatively practice reserved interpersonal contact and expressive suppression. These societies have been traditionally conservative and low-contact cultures (Barnlund, 1975; Klopf & Thompson, 1991; McDaniel & Andersen, 1998).

As low-contact cultures, East Asian societies prefer more distant and reserved interaction in their daily communication, with a lack of sensory contacts and tactile and expressive behavior. They exhibit low expressed emotion, even within families (McDaniel &; Andersen, 1998; Remland, Jones, & Brinkman, 1991).

In East Asian cultures, people respect the emotional norms that encourage such personality traits as being modest, introverted, silent, quiet, and reluctant to interrupt, with a priority of diplomacy over truth, as well as little body and facial expressiveness (Nishimura et al., 2008).

Nonverbally, men and women prefer greater distance in interaction, close body positions, a lack of eye contact, less vocal animation, a lack of touching, a lack of smiling, and less expressiveness

East Asian cultural tradition suggests that being emotional means a lack of self-control. Therefore, they tend to suppress their expression of emotions. They say “good” rather than “fantastic.” They say “not very good,” rather than “terrible.” When they express strong personal affection, they prefer an indirect and hesitant style of communication because they believe that direct verbal expressions of love and respect give the impression of being ingenuine and suspicious. Verbal praise and excessive compliments can make a partner feel embarrassed (Gudykunst & Kim, 1984, p. 142).

For example, the results of recent studies suggest that people from Japanese culture tend to display low expressivity, or at least endorse the norms of low emotional expressiveness (e.g., Safdar et al., 2009).

Cultural motivations toward interdependence and social harmony likely determine Asians and Americans of Asian descent to exhibit habitual expressive suppression of emotions (especially socially disengaging emotions) as normative for this type of culture (Schouten et al., 2020; Sun & Lau, 2018).

In China, the East Asian society of low expressiveness, the cultural norms of inhibition and restraint tend to prevail in the experience and expression of emotions. In studies (e.g., Eid & Diener, 2001), Chinese experienced lower intensity and frequency of emotions (both positive and negative) in comparison with Taiwanese, Australians, and European Americans. The cultural values of moderation and suppression of emotions are highly valued in Chinese culture.

East Asians are not only less expressive but also less assertive. They prefer to suppress their expression of negative messages and confrontations (see for review, Lim, 2013).

East Asian emotional styles are suppressive rather than expressive, as in European and American cultures. However, unlike in modern expressive societies, East Asians’ suppressive style does not have the same negative impact on their well-being. 

Conservative Gender Roles of Dominance and Submissiveness in East Asian cultures and the Cultural Norms of Low Expressed Emotion

East Asian cultures have also been conservative in their public attitudes toward gender roles of dominance and submissiveness. Cultural norms for men were to express their own power and social status, while for women, they were to display their unassertive and submissive nature (Dalby, 1983; Wolf, 1974). Their appearance, exhibiting low sexual maturity and expressiveness, conveyed the impression of submissiveness.

Men in such societies, which endorse submissive female roles, have a cultural preference for minimal cheekbone prominence, rounded cheeks, a small mouth, and few maturity cues. East-Asian men preferred neotenous white skin, a round childlike face, and an inexpressive mouth with a small smile (cited in Cunningham et al., 1995). The traditional patterns of formal makeup constrained their facial expressions of emotion. These practices followed the cultural values of modesty, sexual immaturity, and inexpressiveness, as they were expected from women in public stereotypes.

In Japan, men (as well as women) perceived a Japanese woman who smiled infrequently and in a closed body position as more attractive to them. In contrast with the modern self-expression norms of liberal societies, a large smile did not indicate intense positive motivation. Therefore, Japanese men (as well as women) perceived Japanese women who were expressive, frequently smiley in an open body position, and exhibited sexual maturity as being less attractive to them (Matsumoto & Ekman, 1989; McGinley, Blau, & Takai, 1984; see for detailed review, Karandashev, 2020).

Here Are Some Other Related Articles on This Topic

To better understand the low level of expressed emotion in collectivistic cultures, it is interesting to compare how people experience and express emotions in individualistic cultures and how the love of high expressed emotion is culturally normative in modern cultures.

It is also interesting to know about,

The Most Attractive Smell for Love

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The partner’s attractive smell is important for love feelings. How much, and what is the most attractive smell for love? People are primarily visual and auditory mammals. However, even human love involves more than just visual and auditory admiration for a partner. Yet, as many know, looks and voice are very important to making a good impression on a loved one. But it is not everything.

Beauty can be found not only in the eye of the beholder but also in the nose of the beholder.

The function of smell is underappreciated in romantic love and other human affairs. The impressions coming from other senses, such as smell, also play roles in love and close relationships. Some laypeople and researchers can pretend that smell is not what makes us love another person. Olfaction is not a primary sense of communication between partners, yet it may still affect romantic relationships. The smell of each other can also be attractive or unattractive. This is why men and women widely use deodorants and perfumes to impress others (e.g., Roberts et al., 2011).

Love gradually progresses through more physically intimate relations, which engage body contact, physical affection, holding hands, touching shoulders, hugging, cuddling, caressing, kissing on the lips and face, and sexual intercourse. Then the olfactory senses begin to play an increasingly bigger role.

The Smell of Sex

For many lovers, sexual emotions are related to olfactory and gustatory sensory images (Shaw, 2008; Vroon et al., 1997). Body odors play a role in passionate sexual attraction (Cupchik et al. 2005; Pazzaglia 2015; Singh & Bronstad 2001). Besides natural body smells, perfumes and odorants boost the sexual attractiveness of a partner (Baron 1981; Mogilina et al. 2013).

For men, the body scents of their partners trigger their sexual interest and arousal. For men, olfactory and visual sensory sensations are equally important (Herz & Cahill 1997). And for women, the effect of the body scents of their partners is even stronger (Herz & Cahill 1997; Regan & Berscheid 1995). For women, the olfactory senses are the most influential (Herz & Cahill 1997).

Love Pheromones

Men and women naturally produce pheromones, the chemical substances that determine our body odor. The pheromones can regulate people’s emotions and moods. Their smell affects our sexual attraction and love. They stimulate sexual arousal, lust, and passionate feelings (e.g., Gower & Ruperelia, 1993; Grammer et al., 2005; Patzer, 1985; Pazzaglia, 2015). Even a whiff of another person’s body odor can trigger our desire and yearning. Pheromone attraction can cause other feelings of love.

In agreement with the theory of sexual selection, body odors can serve as signals of mate value. For men and women, olfaction may indicate the mates whose genes provide more variety for their offspring (e.g., Wedekind & Füri, 1997; Wedekind, Seebeck, Bettens, & Paepke, 1995). Compatible partners would say, “I like the taste of her kiss!”

Attractive Odors in Love

Smells of love are controlled not only by pheromones but also by other odors of our body and mouth, such as their freshness and perfumes. These odors play an affective and sexual role in close relationships (Cupchik, Phillips, & Truong, 2005). According to several studies, the body scents of others affect men’s and women’s sexual interest, especially among women (Herz & Cahill, 1997; Regan & Berscheid, 1995). A pleasant odor facilitates interpersonal attraction, whereas an unpleasant odor lessens it. The natural smell can be pleasant and attractive. However, artificial odorants essentially alter men’s preferences, boosting the attractiveness of female smells. (Pierce, Cohen, & Ulrich, 2004; Sodavari et al., 2014; see for a review, Karandashev et al., 2016, 2020).

Smells can be unpleasant or even repulsive to a partner. The smell from a partner’s mouth in the morning before brushing teeth is an example. Some may like the smell of smoking a cigarette, yet in my student days, there was a saying:

“Kissing partners after they smoke reminds me of the taste of an ashtray.”

The Smell of Love  

As for the olfactory modality, the smell of the partner’s skin and breath, the taste of their lips, and the scent of their perfume or cologne—all these senses contribute to the olfactory feelings of attraction.

It was found that pleasant odors strengthen romantic attraction, while unpleasant odors decrease it. In the presence of a noxious scent, lovers see another person as less attractive, while in the presence of a pleasant scent, they see someone as more attractive. It should be noted that an unpleasant odor diminishes love attraction more than a pleasant odor boosts it (Pierce et al., 2004; Sodavari et al., 2014). Therefore, we can see that the absence of the bad smell of a partner is more essential than the presence of a good one.

The feeling of gustation is closely intertwined with olfaction (Pinel, 1997). Many metaphoric love words use the sense of taste (e.g., “sweetie” and “honey”). Studies have shown that feelings of taste influence love attraction (Saegert et al., 1983; Ren et al., 2015). For example, the sweet taste of food boosts dopamine levels and feelings of passionate love (Hajnal et al., 2004; Fisher et al., 2005; Ren et al., 2015).

Researchers demonstrated that body odors are associated with other qualities of appearance. For example, the sexy body odors of women strongly correlate with their facial attractiveness, while the bad body odors of men correlate with their body asymmetry (Rikowski & Grammer, 1999). Another interesting finding is that the mere exposure effect, which I talked about in another post, also works with olfactory stimuli (e.g., Delplanque et al., 2015; Montoya et al., 2017). This means “the more we smell, the more we like,” unless an initial olfactory aversion occurs.

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Cultural Beauty and Body Modification

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Obsession with physical appearance and body beautification has become extremely popular among many people in many cultural groups across the world. In some societies, people are more obsessed with their physical beauty than in others.

Even though women traditionally care more about facial beauty and cultural body modification than men do, many men also appreciate their facial and body appearance now more than ever before. As I commented elsewhere (another article), many studies (e.g., Langlois et al. 2000) show that gender differences are insignificant. Men and women consider the good-looking appearances of their prospective partners to be important qualities. Women prefer attractive male partners as much as men favor attractive female partners (see another article elsewhere). Both men and women like to look and appear at their best.

Cross-cultural Obsession with Face and Body Modification

Some people in modern Western cultures are obsessed with body and face modification. Cosmetics, cosmetic surgeries, silicone implants, liposuctions, and special diets for beauty have boosted efforts and desires for enhancement of physical appearance in many countries of the world, especially in Japan, South Korea, China, the United States, Mexico, Brazil, Argentina, Chile, and Colombia (e.g., Darling‐Wolf, 2004; Hua, 2013; Jones, 2017; Peiss, 2011; Sands & Adamson, 2014; Wolf, 1991).

Social Media Models the Standards of Beauty, which Has Inadequate Effects.

Fashion and beauty magazines, TV, movies, and other social media have been shaping modern standards of beauty. Some of them promote body images that are antithetical to evolutionary healthy beauty. They glorify unrealistic female body types and sexualize the female figure. A fashion icon of a woman frequently appears as “fair, tall, and willowy, often slightly androgynous; her body flawless due to medical procedures, and most of all thin, well below the recommended weight for her height.” (Austin, 2012, p. Many women yearn for the „twiggy‟ look and waif-like figure.

Unrealistic Body Standards  

The studies showed that in North America, the female body weights, as they are portrayed in beauty magazines, are substantially lower than the average body weight of women. The thin ideals of the female body have become more culturally restrictive and trigger body dissatisfaction, which can lead to unhealthy weight control. The tendencies to develop low body esteem and eating disorders (anorexia and bulimia symptoms) among young women have become quite prevalent in North America (Canadians, European Americans, Asian Americans, Lokken, Worthy, & Trautmann, 2004; Nouri, Hill, & Orrell-Valente, 2011; Saraceni & Russell-Mayhew, 2007), in Japan (Kowner, 2002, Shih & Kubo, 2005), Taiwan (Shih & Kubo, 2005), as well as in India (Austin, 2012).

Western Beauty with Light Skin

Studies have shown that men and women across many countries prefer light skin, despite their own natural skin color, which they have due to their race and ethnic features (see another article in this blog). Such inadequacy of skin preferences stems from social learning and the widespread White standards of beauty in social media.

Because of this, many people have more positive attitudes towards light skin versus dark skin (e.g., Baumann, 2008; Meyers, 2011). Recent research findings revealed that young men and women in 26 countries of middle income and emerging economies in Asia, Africa, and the Americas stated that they prefer light skin. They have biased kin preferences. As a result, they use skin lighteners more frequently than they did previously (Peltzer et al., 2016).  

Cultural Beauty and Self-Esteem

What are the consequences of the low self-esteem of face and body beauty for love relationships? Individuals who have low self-esteem about their own attractiveness are less likely to initiate relationships, possibly due to a fear of rejection  (Berscheid et al., 1971).

They also have less confidence in interaction, high anxiety, and insecure attachment (Ambwani & Strauss, 2007; Cash, Theriault, & Annis, 2004; Nezlek, 1999; Sheets & Ajmere, 2005).

For example, young women with heavier body weights experienced less relationship satisfaction. Besides, overweight women are less likely to be in dating relationships compared to their peers. However, men with heavier body weights experienced more relationship satisfaction (Sheets & Ajmere, 2005).

Among the Other Topics of Interest in this Regard Are:

Western Beauty Standards in Cross-Cultural Perspectives

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Do modern people place the same value on the physical attractiveness of prospective partners as previous generations? Do they look at and value their beauty the same way as in the past? In Western European and North American media, modern beauty standards are widely promoted. Are they universal and the same in other societies? In this article, I review the studies of Western beauty standards from a cross-cultural perspective.

The Modern Tendencies in Appreciation of Beauty

Men and women have always wanted to find a beautiful partner for a relationship. A beautiful appearance definitely incites romantic love. Many people believed that for men, the beauty of women was a more desired quality than the beauty of men for women.

However, in modern times, the cultural value of beauty in finding an appropriate partner has significantly increased not only among men but also among women. The cross-sectional research of Buss and his colleagues in the USA showed that during the 57-year period (1939–1996), the importance of physical attractiveness in a prospective mate increased for both men and women (Buss et al., 2001).

There was an old evolutionary theory according to which men expected to mate with good-looking women, while women cared less about the physical appearance of men. However, this stereotype is not valid anymore. According to recent studies, physical attractiveness has a strong impact on women’s rating of a target man as a desirable partner. Personality traits are important, but only for those prospective male partners who are physically attractive. Women rated men with desirable personality traits favorably as mating partners only when they perceived them as moderately or highly attractive. Women never rated men with desirable personality traits as desirable partners if they perceived them as unattractive (e.g., Fugère, Madden, & Cousins, 2019).

Western Beauty Standards

The new cultural trend of heightened interest in physical attractiveness could be due to the surge of beautiful visual media images via fashion magazines, movies, television, the Internet, and other virtual realities. According to recent studies conducted across 12 countries, the globalization of Western beauty standards is an overwhelmingly expanding tendency (Yan & Bissell, 2014).

In terms of role model references, Western European and North American magazines keep the dominant position in shaping global beauty standards, while Asian magazines remain relatively independent. However, fashion magazines in South Africa and Latin America tend to be assimilated into the Western cultural norms of beauty.

In the United States of America, Western standards of beauty are predominant, despite the great racial diversity of the population. Many White, Black, Latina, and Asian women in American society tend to follow these White conceptions of mainstream beauty.

Culturally Specific Body Identities and Western Beauty Standards

When looking for a relationship, men and women not only want to find a beautiful or handsome partner, but also consider their self-perception: their own appearance, along with corresponding self-esteem and confidence. How do people of other races, ethnicities, and cultures perceive their own body identity in reference to these Western cultural standards?

Overall, the more a person fits into general societal or specific cultural norms of appearance, the more he or she feels confident in interaction with a partner. Individuals of different cultural backgrounds may differ in their orientation to cultural norms in this regard. Their own racial body identity may be at a disadvantage in social comparison with those.

Do they accept or deny such dissonance?

According to one study, an individual’s relations with dominant norms of beauty and their relations with their own bodies vary considerably among White, Black, Asian, and Latina women. Denying diversity is a typical tendency. However, women of different races differ in the extent to which they engage in the denial of personal disadvantage (Poran, 2002).

How Do Asian Women Feel About Western Beauty Standards?

For example, Asian women experience greater dissatisfaction with their own bodies than do Black and White women. For Asians, mainstream standards of beauty can become a potentially threatening factor for their self-concept and self-esteem. Asian women and men tend to rate White people as more physically attractive than Asians (Mok, 1998; White & Chan, 1983). This comparison may appear to be an upward process stigmatizing them. Exposure to mainstream ideals of beauty can cause problems for Asian women in maintaining positive self-perceptions because they do not employ self-protective strategies. Suffering from lower self-esteem impedes them from having intercultural relationships (Chin Evans & McConnell, 2003).

How Do Black Women Feel About Western Beauty Standards?

Black women are less affected by mainstream beauty standards than Asians and Whites. Among Black women, there is the same or better body satisfaction and global self-esteem compared to White and Asian women (Chin Evans & McConnell, 2003; Porter & Washington, 1979; Rucker & Cash, 1992).

Black women and men do not strongly adhere to mainstream White standards of appearance in their self-evaluations. In the case of being overweight, they do not admit the stigmatizing effect because they believe that cultural ideals of thinness are not applicable to their self-evaluation. Rebuffing mainstream standards of thinness, Black women judge overweight women less negatively and experience less negative self-esteem about being overweight (Hebl & Heatherton, 1998).

They are capable of employing self-protective strategies (Crocker et al., 1998).

For example,

“Black women did not find mainstream standards as relevant to themselves and reported positive self-evaluations generally and about their bodies in particular. Asian women, on the other hand, responded differently than Black women and were more likely to endorse mainstream beauty standards in a similar fashion to White women.”

(Poran, 2002, p. 153).

Among the Other Topics of Interest in this Regard Are: